I am NOT Phoenix Wright

Ask blog written by @nortsauce and @flygutzz

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Wrong: Alright, Magical Rock. Let’s roll.

Examine evidence

- Crude drawing of the crime scene quickly sketched on a piece of paper and completely crumpled in my pocket. Depicts 4 stalls labeled A-D, with D being the largest.

- Vial of ???? (“Powerade”) It seems to emit a slight glow and is lightly fizzy. almost as if it’s alive. It’s dangerous.

- Ring of keys with a weird keychain on it. Found in the 4th stall. Seems to belong to a janitor or something? it has the key to a classroom, the bathroom, and a closet. That’s what’s scratched onto them atleast.

- Talulah Hawks: Drug overdoese “Powerade” Imploded. yeesh….

- “My” badge. No one would believe i’m Phoenix Wright without it.

- Magatama. Mega tommy? margo tammy… A rock that can speak.

- Fanny’s Iphone: An Iphone with a cute busted up case on it. It has SOME time stamps on it! Probably from all the Tiktoks she sends Trucy.

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

We got this chat! [We're so cooked]

Ooc: Taking a small intermission here to show you all some funnies from the great spirit discord! Which I will once again advertise!

We talk about au’s, art, and ofc this ask blog!

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Just to be a little more specific, for your info, Trucy can perceive fidgets and physical tells!! It's.. hard to have a poker face when she's around. You can try your best to mask those tells, but I do suggest coming up with an explanation for any she may spot. Perhaps you can write it off as being nervous to have her involved with a trial? ’:] I believe in you.

~ Eggwaffle

THATS-

actually not a bad idea..

thanks, eggwaffle.

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

I KNEW IT, FUCK.

WRONG. Do not yell at this child do not get angry at this child DO NOT LASH OUT AT THIS CHILD.

bring out the best casual yet gentle parent tone of voice you've got and do not let yourself get worked up by whatever she has to say. Do what you can to not give away any tells. It should be easy to get info out of Trucy as long as she believes you're her dad and thus a trustworthy person. which means DO NOT LOSE YOUR TEMPER AGAIN ISTG.

TIME TO ACT FATHERLY but not too fatherly, YOU'VE GOT THIS

Gain her trust. Don’t lose my temper. Stay cool. Stay alert. And stay. still.

okay.

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Ok so you're gonna have to tell her. Trucy's great but she also has a superhuman ability to tell when you are lying, gets it from her mom. Maya is a Lil oblivious and Edgie is blinded by emotion often but you have to convince Trucy to trust you bc she will KNOW somethings up. If you can't say now, make sure she knows at least what us spirits do (you're here to help and you'll tell us later)

Okay.. OKAY. HUMAN LIE DETECTOR AND INTELLECTUAL ASSHOLE VERSUS OBLIVIOUS WOMAN AND ME, A CLEARLY CRAZY GUY WHOS HEARING AND SEEING GHOSTS.

GOT IT. GREAT.

Okay.

and… theres no way i can tell her.

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

You still a big Edgeworth fan??? Dude I have a crazy idea to make him feel better I’ll whisper it into your ear later

NO. NOT A FAN. IN FACT: HE’S ABOUT TO FUCK UP EVERYTHING!

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Oh by the way Trucy’s practically a mind reader Wrong

Don’t be afraid you got nothing to hide!! :D

I… I actually haven’t… talked to her.

at all.

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Bruh they're gonna put you down

…

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Wrong: (… okay. so he’s upset.)

Maya: Hhheeeyy… You doing okay, edgeworth??

Edgeworth: I am perfectly fine.

Wrong: (… he’d be terrible at BS.)

Wrong: (I have to call fanny to the stand before-)

Edgeworth: Your honor.

Wrong: (FUCK.)

Edgeworth: I would like to call a new witness to the stand.

Edgeworth: Miss Trucy Wright.

Wrong:

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Wow he is so mad at you.

Good luck!

THANKS A LOT. REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Judge: Court resumes for the trial of Miss Fanny Packs!

Wrong: (Okay. I have all of the info i need. hopefully all the timestamps match up, and I just gotta get Fanny to testify)

Wrong: (Then, i’ll get out of here and I’ll make my phone call)

Wrong: (Oh right but first I have to apologize to-)

Wrong: (… that guy…)

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

RECESS: 30 MINUTES COMPLETE

Maya: Looks like it’s time to head back inside!

Wrong: Okay. okay. I got this.

Maya: WE got this!

Wrong: Yeah. Yeah! Yeah… W-WE got this.

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Alright, lets get back into the trial already! ...and just to make sure you don't get overwhelmed again, here's Phoenix in his 'Feenie' era to start you off in a good mood!

SNRKK HEHEHAHDHAHHH….

Ok ok serious time serious time.

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

To ask!!

Did she hear tallulah come in? (Tallulah was dead before or after her arrival?)

Did anything interrupt her phone time before the voices? (Was someone/thing else there)

Did the bathroom look odd when she arrived?

Fanny: I was alone when I walked into the stall. I’m pretty sure I would have seen someone else there

Fanny: Like i said, I heard one person walk in, them two more people walk in. I dunno if it was them.

Fanny: I guess I wasn’t really close to Tallulah or Betty as much as I was Trucy… They weren’t as nice as Trucy was anyways!

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Okay we’re gonna need to keep our guard up. Even if it may feel like it, there’s a very low chance that we ACTUALLY have the upper hand because Edgeworth usually uses his recesses to prepare a big twist we’re not gonna see coming. I get the feeling that he might also be motivated to come back with a vengeance after your little comment. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna have something huge up his sleeve by the time he comes back, so stay on your toes and get ready for any new developments in the case that might get sprung at you

Alright alright… He’s not gonna try and kill me, is he?

Look, all I have ti do is convince the court guys that the kid is innocent. Then I’ll make it out of here and apologize to the man. Then i’ll TRY and answer some questions.

don’t get your hopes up on a lot of answers though. Not only do I still not fully trust you guys, but… I think the walls have ears.

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Spin those keys, we must look at every angle and spot the details!

What kind of idiot do you take me for? Who doesn’t turn evidence around when you first look at it?

… don’t tell me this is a Phoenix thing…

[i-am-not-phoenix-wright]

Can you decipher who has the accent? We can’t really hear you guys. Is it Betty?

I mean if you want my opinion: Not really. Betty speaks pompous and posh like, but it feels more like a shitty attempt at a city flare.

so nnnot really an accent i’d say…