bahiyyih @i-am-the-starchild - Tumblr Blog

21/07/2019 dump

Goodmorning. It’s almost noon. It’s been a good day so far. I haven’t taken a bath yet, and I realized I shouldn’t really be putting too much pressure on myself to to the point I feel guilty when I haven’t yet, like I do everyday. Anyway, I woke up at about 9:30am, ate breakfast, made myself some iced coffee, and now I’m in my room using the laptop cause I remembered that I brought it home from McCoy’s yesterday. I was watching a movie (American Honey) and I thought about my tumblr. I opened it and I thought, good times. Saw my reblogs of Alex Turner, Gravity Falls, and Over the Garden Wall posts. Which brings me back to when I was 16, I’m turning 19 next week and I can say a lot has changed. I’m not sure whether I’ve become better or I back pedaled (is this a word??) a bit.

I’m going to college soon, and I’ve been having mixed feelings about it. Mostly fear. My mom’s surprised cause she says when she was in my position she was excited. And I guess at some point I was, when I was 16 and I thought I was going to study in Manila for senior high school. Though I can’t say I didn’t feel excitement now and then. Maybe a few seconds when compiled could be about a minute or two. Maybe I’ll be excited once I’m there and see that it isn’t so bad after all. Actually thinking about it, I’m looking forward to making new friends. But I really don’t wanna jinx it so I try not to talk about it so much. I’m just hoping things turn out well.

There are things I’ve done throughout the past 3 years that I’m not happy about. I used to think back then that I’ve become better than the person I was before. That I knew what I was doing, and that I’m smart enough not to do the things I shouldn’t do. But I realized I’m still young. So young. And I’ve a lot more to learn and there’s no way I’m gonna have it all figured out any time soon. I still have to work on being kinder, and not letting my hatred break through the shell that I’ve been keeping it in. I feel like I’ve let it out too much these past few years. I feel like, now, people see me as this girl with a cloud over her head following her all the time, especially my family. They’re the ones that see the way I am when I’m at home. I’m hoping time away will teach me a lot, and give me opportunities to change that. Maybe I’ll read the books my mom’s been bugging me to read. Maybe I’ll prioritize learning about Baha’i Faith again. Maybe I’ll put more effort into my physical health. Maybe I’ll choose better friends to hang out with.

I think the problem with me these past few years was that I forgot how important these things are. That sticking to what was comfortable and easy will never be what’s best for me. I don’t know. I’m just hoping and praying for the best this incoming chapter of my life. Maybe I’ll look back to this post and think to myself, it turned out well after all.

queerbitchdiaz-archived

i really needed this today, so for anyone else who might

scarygoodfanfics-deactivated201

Thanks I needed this also. I’ll pass it on

lonewolf7130

Just the Rock blessing your feed

calculatedmadness

Thanks, Mr. The Rock.

parakeet

ever notice that the mean voice in ur head that insults u is awful confident for something thats literally never done anything in its life except be mean to you… like… one of us is pathetic and its not me buddy… get a hobby… yikes

vibinwitch

self care is roasting the mean voice in your head

fuckyeahgravityfalls

2x20 Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back the Falls - part II (aka Weirdmageddon 4: Somewhere in the Woods)

citiznerased

Alex Turner @ WBRU Lolla interview 2016

ihaterick

some Evil Morty’s upon request!

tianasweets

avari20

Broke af?

But still interested in feeding yourself? What if I told you that there’s a woman with a blog who had to feed both herself and her young son…on 10 British pounds ($15/14 Euro) per week?

Let me tell you a thing.

This woman saved my life last year. Actually saved my life. I had a piggy bank full of change and that’s it. Many people in my fandom might remember that dark time as when I had to hock my writing skills in exchange for donations. I cried a lot then.

This is real talk, people: I marked down exactly what I needed to buy, totaled it, counted out that exact change, and then went to three different stores to buy what I needed so I didn’t have to dump a load of change on just one person. I was already embarrassed, but to feel people staring? Utter shame suffused me. The reasons behind that are another post all together.

AgirlcalledJack.com is run by a British woman who was on benefits for years. Things got desperate. She had to find a way to feed herself and her son using just the basics that could be found at the supermarket. But the recipes she came up with are amazing.

You have to consider the differing costs of things between countries, but if you just have three ingredients in your cupboard, this woman will tell you what to do with it. Check what you already have. Chances are you have the basics of a filling meal already.

Here’s her list of kitchen basics.

Bake your own bread. It’s easier than you think. Here’s a list of many recipes, each using some variation of just plain flour, yeast, some oil, maybe water or lemon juice. And kneading bread is therapeutic.

Make your own pasta–gluten free.

She gets it. She really does. This is the article that started it all. It’s called “Hunger Hurts”.

She has vegan recipes.

A carrot, a can of kidney beans, and some cumin will get you a really filling soup…or throw in some flour for binding and you’ve got yourself a burger.

Don’t have an oven or the stove isn’t available? She covers that in her Microwave Cooking section.

She has a book, but many recipes can be found on her blog for free. She prices her recipes down to the cent, and every year she participates in a project called “Living Below the Line” where she has to live on 1 BP per day of food for five days.

Things improved for me a little, but her website is my go to. I learned how to bake bread (using my crockpot, but that was my own twist), and I have a little cart full of things that saved me back then, just in case I need them again. She gives you the tools to feed yourself, for very little money, and that’s a fabulous feeling.

Tip: Whenever you have a little extra money, buy a 10 dollar/pound/euro giftcard from your discount grocer. Stash it. That’s your super emergency money. Make sure they don’t charge by the month for lack of use, though.

I don’t care if it sounds like an advertisement–you won’t be buying anything from the site. What I DO care about is your mental, emotional, and physical health–and dammit, food’s right in the center of that.

If you don’t need this now, pass it on to someone who does. Pass it on anyway, because do you REALLY know which of the people in your life is in need? Which follower might be staring at their own piggy bank? Trust me: someone out there needs to see this.

his-quietus-make

Reblogging for all the impoverished students. Jack is the breadline queen. And if you don’t need this - donate to your nearest food bank, stat.

breelandwalker

Reblogging for students, working folks, and everyone who’s ever had to choose between essentials at the store because you can only afford milk OR bread, not both.