lately i just feel like I have so much going on inside my head and no one to really talk to about it. this last year has been one of the most stressful, painful years of my life. i’ve kept such a good composure and i truly commend myself for holding myself together when i could have fallen apart and given up on everything and said fuck life and fuck this cruel, unforgiving world. from losing my dad, not having my sisters around because they’re battling their addictions, not seeing my nephews, adjusting to my mom’s boyfriend moving in, my uncle was just diagnosed with cancer and the court cases following my dad’s death it’s just been A LOT. A LOT for one fucking year. i’ve never been the type to bother people with my problems and to openly talk about what’s going on in my head and while I don’t find myself to be depressed i just need to talk about all this SHIT. sometimes i wish someone would just ASK about some of this stuff and initiate the conversation and ask me how i’m doing so i wouldn’t have to be the one to just start spewing out all my issues. i’ve just never been that way. i’m SUCH a good listener and i listen to EVERYONES problems meanwhile i’m just kinda over here suffering silently. of course my friends are aware of the events of this past year and were there for me when everything initially occurred but idk. i just feel like no one asks how i’m doing but probably bc i put on such a good front and i truly just hold myself together so well. i just feel like i’ve ALWAYS had to be the strong, responsible one and i don’t want to burden people with MY problems even though they truly do exist. i feel like if i’m not okay or if i fall apart i’m weak and i’m just another burden on my mom and on my family. my sisters have combined been in out of rehab for their mental health issues and drug addiction for the past 2 1/2 years or so and i just feel like i have an obligation to be the responsible, “normal” one. so, with all of that being said, i’ve reached out to the survivor’s of homicide group that contacted myself and my family when my dad first died and they provide support groups and counseling and up until now i never utilized them as a resource and just found excuses not to go to the the group sessions even though they’re literally right in southington. unfortunately the group sessions fall on tuesday nights when i have class so i contacted them about potentially providing me with some one on one counseling. i just think it would do me a lot of good to get everything that’s on my mind out there and not bottled up and to someone who is unbiased and can just give me the support that i need.
gummygunk
romaincrisis
baratheonpilled
pixelskylines
snowghoul
tangentwithtanner
discoholicmusic
turnnoffyourmind
kianamaiart
