i think we should try to bring mom back

she/they | i think im funny

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

this is the dumbest blog idea i’ve had yet

[ilikeit-art]

Have you ever wondered how tech technicians recover data from faulty flash and memory whose data cannot be recovered by normal methods.

[myothertardisisonthemun]

this is necromancy

[oodles-of-boodle]

This, right here?

THIS is a magic circle and NOTHING you can tell me will convince me otherwise.

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

don’t even need to suggest it

[kittybroker]

I transmute kitties into ones of equivalent value, and then sell them for the same price.

magic and sorcery has been hitting the kitty market hard. you just never know these days

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

you could be trying something Different. create kitties from nothing it’ll be okay

[evilwizard]

Dude. DUDE. HUMPTY DUMPTY JUST FELL. YOU NEED TO SEE THIS ALL THE KINGS MEN ARE THERE TRYING TO GET HIM BACK TOGETHER. THIS IS SO FUCKED DUDE. IM SO SCARED. HE'S DEAD

🖐️ stand aside. only the court necromancer can save him now. we must pray his body isn’t too broken…

[evilwizard]

WTF are the horses doing

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

i don't fucking know i tried my best but i think we made it worse with our big hooves

[evilwizard]

WHY WERE YOU INVOLVED AT ALL ??

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

i have a suggestion here. i got this one

[thefleetingflashofa-sword623]

Stop getting mad at me I raise undead when im in distress

[thefleetingflashofa-sword623]

Im unveiling a new unique condition of my own soon

[lyrslair]

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

i approve of this

[maxxie-or-smth]

we need a surgery that removes you from your body

[teaboot]

on it boss

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

yknow i think i have something that might do the trick

[quasi-normalcy]

Scientists mimicking the Big Bang accidentally turn lead into gold

The physicists made an unexpected breakthrough

Alchemy is true!

[felixer-of-life]

This is delightful. I would like my own 1 trillionth of a gram of alchemy gold please.

[quasi-normalcy]

the actual most expensive way to acquire gold

[owls-reblogs]

@aspennntree

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

i know of a step we can take from here.

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

My funny experience with this blog was that when I first saw it it was just I-suggest-human- and I just was like “yeah that seems like a tumblr blog” but I came back to the post a few times, saw the necromancy reference and the Ed pfp and was like “wait, is this a joke about human transmutation” and then it turned out it was and it was great.

ASDFGHJKL

yes it is. we gotta bring mom back okay just trust me

[wren-writes-things]

Absolutely! This is an excellent idea, and I’m certain there are no stories themed around how this plan can go horribly wrong.

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

hopital

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

military

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

My funny experience with this blog was that when I first saw it it was just I-suggest-human- and I just was like “yeah that seems like a tumblr blog” but I came back to the post a few times, saw the necromancy reference and the Ed pfp and was like “wait, is this a joke about human transmutation” and then it turned out it was and it was great.

ASDFGHJKL

yes it is. we gotta bring mom back okay just trust me

[wren-writes-things]

Absolutely! This is an excellent idea, and I’m certain there are no stories themed around how this plan can go horribly wrong.

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

hopital

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

My funny experience with this blog was that when I first saw it it was just I-suggest-human- and I just was like “yeah that seems like a tumblr blog” but I came back to the post a few times, saw the necromancy reference and the Ed pfp and was like “wait, is this a joke about human transmutation” and then it turned out it was and it was great.

ASDFGHJKL

yes it is. we gotta bring mom back okay just trust me

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

I have a friend moving into an apartment soon.They have a young child and a dog. Their apartment is too small for all three and the landlord(boooo) technically didn't agree to the dog. How could my friend move both in while saving time and money?

you scare me. this one’s also outside my field of expertise, but have they tried bringing the dead back to scare the landlord?

[owlfacenightkit]

attacks you

D:

*Dies*

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

ITS OKAY I HAVE A SOLUTION FOR THIS ONE

[wileycap]

"It's not necromancy. Yes- no, I'm not being a fucking pedant, I went to school for this. It's a twenty-year degree. I studied for twenty fucking years, so- nevermind, the point is it's not necromancy.

"The difference is that these corporate motherfuckers are just making a corpse move. I reanimate a corpse, I bring back a spirit, I stuff the spirit into the corpse, and then the spirit takes orders from me. They just load the spell up with an endless amount of ifs. It looks the same, but it-

"You're not getting it. Just the other day, there was a Dark Lord down near the Swamp of Tears, he ordered a bunch of skeletons from these guys- yeah, you heard about it? Guy lost 50 henchmen because the fuckin' skeletons were hallucinating. The spellcrafter forgot to draw a partition rune.

"It's cheaper up front, but they get you on all the add ons. You gotta buy their special magic powder or the connection gets wonky. You know they have a 24% service fee now? And if you're in a low-service region they just contract the job out to a local tower wizard anyways.

"My spirits are just happy to get pulled out of the crushing darkness behind the veil, you know? Happy to have senses again, sniff some air, see the sights. None of this extra bullshit: you tell 'em what you want 'em to do, they do it. Look. Tell you what, you get my skeleton package and I'll toss in a pair of zombies. Guaranteed to slow down any adventurer. Yeah, let me just take down your address..."

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

semantics. so heres my suggestion.

[vishnovy]

yeah, sure

[darth-moth]

#myawesomecorpse

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

what if it didnt have to be a corpse anymore. i have a suggestion

[catilinas]

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

what if it was. i have a suggestion

[junk-thunder]

i went to tragedy island but i was too late

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

but what if you could bring them back. i have a suggestion.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

awakening the undead is an irredeemable sin. not for any spiritual or religious reasons, it's just really shitty to wake people up when they're finally getting some good rest

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#zombies are only Like That bc they're fucking sleep deprived #stop disturbing their natural rhythm you necromancing piece of shit

[i-suggest-human-transmution]

but what if it’s your mom and you realllly miss her and also you are 11 and sad