i wont be okay

he/they

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

*Me sitting down to write smut.*

But first! We must thoroughly understand this man's fractured and devastated sense of self. Only then can we truly appreciate how connected he feels to her while finger-banging the soul from her body.

[ivyrotica]

when doms coo out a soft ‘there you arreee’ the moment their sub finally gives in and starts whimpering, gasping, making the prettiest noises while being absolutely ruined >>>

[i-wrotethisforme]

My PIN number to this day is my second grade best friends birthday. There are people I don’t talk to anymore whose families are still in my prayers. There are shirts I wear to bed from exes of 8 years ago who are married now with kids. And I haven’t found a macaroni salad recipe better than my college boyfriend’s mom’s. Our lives are made up of so many people and when people become parts of our lives, some parts remain long after they leave. And in the same exact way, it’s comforting to know there are so many lives you’re still a part of that you have no idea about.

[twunkish-cleric]

Reblog this for anyone who might need it

Okay so I was talking with my Counselor about Mental Health and such, and in case someone needed to hear this today, I wanted to mention something we brought up:

Someone who is Suicidal needs immediate Help (both mentally, emotionally and potentially physically), but that doesn’t necessarily mean immediate hospitalization or admission to a Psychiatric Facility. 

I know that when I was feeling Suicidal, I was so scared about telling anyone because I thought they’d lock me up in a Psych Ward immediately, but through surviving that experience I learned two very important things that I think are worth sharing:

1) Psych Wards really aren’t as bad as you might think. They’re not perfect by any means, but they are designed to help and if you need to be admitted, know that it definitely won’t be as scary as the movies, video games or general overblown horror stories make it out to be. Don’t be afraid to get help, it might genuinely save your life and I promise there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can’t see it right now

And 2) In my opinion (and the opinions of my Therapists) as someone who has actually been Suicidal, there’s two kinds of Suicidal Feelings, both of which fall on a spectrum depending on how much you actually plan on going through with it:

On one side of the Spectrum is what I call “Active Suicidality”, where a person has a plan to kill themselves, fully intends to kill themself, and is going to kill themself and potentially even someone else too. This is the kind of Suicidality that really needs possible Hospitalization, because they genuinely might be dangerous to themselves and maybe even others, though being this type doesn’t automatically make someone a monster or a horrible person; they just need help as quickly as possible. 

And on the other side of the Spectrum is what I call “Passive Suicidality”, where a person does not have a plan to kill themselves or any actually intention or action to take their own life, and maybe isn’t even self-harming, but is still in great emotional distress and is still having thoughts about killing themselves. These are the types that may not require Hospitalization, though they do still need immediate help as they’re still in horrible mental, emotional and possibly physical pain and it can certainly get to the point of Active Suicidality if left unchecked. 

And there’s a large spectrum between these two things depending on whether or not someone is intending to kill themselves, whether or not they have a plan or are preparing to do it, how strong their thoughts of Suicide are, whether or not they self-harm and to what extent they’re doing it, their current circumstances in life, their overall mental health and well-being, their behavior, and a ton of other factors. 

I’ve found that the best way to explain your Suicidal Feelings to anyone who wants to help is to figure out what point your fall on this Spectrum and be as detailed as possible when describing how you’re actually feeling, no matter how hard it is, because that’s how you’re going to get the most accurate and effective help for your personal situation. And in case you needed to hear this today, I promise there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and this isn’t your only way out. I didn’t believe that for awhile either, but as someone who actually got to that light and is now doing far better, I promise that it’s totally real and things will get better. Your life is valuable and I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I hope posts like this will at least kind of help you realize that you do have a future, and it really is a bright one. 

I love you and believe in you, and I really hope this post helps. 

Reblogs are appreciated!!

[notesoutofmymind]

[verpasstzuleben]

[verpasstzuleben]

[livingfortherainydays]

[verpasstzuleben]

[thebrokengenderqueer]

[teller-of-tragedies]

[reposting cuz i added some details]

[the-gift-of-being-human]

trust the universe

if you were looking for a sign - this is it

[lifeinpoetry]

For all my insecurities, I’m very likely to pull away from someone once I sense I’m less valuable to that person than I once was. You don’t want me that much anymore? Well, I’ll show you just what you lost, son of a bitch. How do you feel about yourself now?

I would never have the long-term commitment of an addict. I would never know how to be an Emma Bovary: I’d never have the energy, never the faith, never the self-cruelty. Addicts don’t stop. Addicts keep on going, walking right into the sun, in spite of the fact that they’re burning up in its fire. They don’t mind losing their minds, their perfect hair, their wrists, the skin on their fingertips.

I want to stop.

But that doesn’t mean my abandonment doesn’t scorch an inner part of me. It will take years to get the scorched part back.

— Paul Lisicky, from Later: My Life at the Edge of the World

[disturbedhorselover-blog]

I keep having fantasies about my suicide

[animymind]

I do irrational things that amuse me when I am alone and depressed.

I drink milk out of an wine- and apple juice out of an gin glass, parallel. Tastes terrible but it makes me giggle. I throw my doorstop lama around and yell "don't mess with me or my lama ever again" at invisible enemies. I lay down on the floor, explaining the stars to no one when I don't even see stars.

Why? Because my heart always is and will be a laughing one. I love laughing. I love being happy, being childish. But when my soul gets heavy again, it's difficult to drown it out. So I do something that makes my heart giggle. That makes me giggle. Thats how I fight this war.

[grendelmenz-deactivated20200929]

graveyards and alternatives

[grendelmenz-deactivated20200929]

inherited traits