a.s. | poet, writer | 17

lover of craft

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

literally woke up and my brain decided to choose sadness for absolutely no reason :’)

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

untitled

[burymedeepdown-deactivated20220]

If Ever, After

The sun comes up and I have no clue where we’ve drifted to. Night passed submerged in you, exploring the flawless dark and all its mysteries. I watch the surface. Light

glitters and shifts, changing every edge. Tomorrow time might run out on us. Today is the best now I’ve known. You’re telling me all you ask yourself about this and I say,

all I have is the breath in my lungs, take it, all I have is these fists, gripping, take them, all I have is this mouth, ravenous, take it, take my whole body for yourself, deeper

than you knew. Explore more by touch than you believed possible to feel and then see that what you thought unmatched has a reflection all over it, owning it, yours.

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

At 17 years old there is so much time yet simultaneously none at all. I think, there is no way this world can handle all my dreams.

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

My heart swells, and art flows forth from me like a stream; spring is in its prime here, and the moving water is flower-scented perfume.

— an excerpt from one of my journal entries

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

Confession in the dark / My face averted from the lattice / Forgive me and grant me penance / On the pews let me repent.

— The last lines of my poem, “Faith”

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

i just want to have fun and romanticize my life but also failure terrifies me so here i am worrying about a course im going to be taking in like 2 weeks

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

“Ariel Effect”

At high tide a conch is beached,

In the heart of its spiral a pink pearl

Like the very stone I used to brush aside

To kiss the spot between her collarbones.

And so the collection of mollusks

On her old vanity grows exponential,

A shrine to her, an altar for worship

I once misdirected but now live off of.

The air is dense. It leaves salt on my lips.

I stand knee-deep in the water.

The sand molds around my toes.

The ocean stretches,

I long to contain it in my hands

If only to once again hold the whole of her,

Untimely love of my life gone to foam.

She lives on in the water,

And when the skies storm,

I think it her anguish.

Now, I struggle to pull myself away.

The conch whispers in my ear to tempt,

And I barely talk myself out of surrendering

To her waves, out of being engulfed

By the cold saline fury of her.

a.s.

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

For I am all poured out like water. And all my bones are out of joint. And my heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me.

Matrix by Lauren Groff

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

— Matrix by Lauren Groff

[curseofmxcbeth]

I think my dark undereye circles are adding to the aesthetic actually.

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

images that have inspired some of my poetry

[definegodliness]

Woman Run wild Free and indomitable Rush forth surging waves Tempest

— 8-2-2022, “… an elfchen.”

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

So yes, you remember, this is the city you lost,. . . an opera house, a madhouse, a ghost church with wind for its choir.

Exile, from Carolyn Forché’s In the Lateness of the World

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

But no, love is not abasement, love is exaltation. . .

- Matrix, Lauren Groff

[i0nlyrinkdecaf]

help what other platforms can i share poems / stories on besides wattpad