the person whose n.a.p. i connected to: (after like 4 hours) omg i'm sorry for the late replies!!
me: ha ha... u are like Little babey... Watch This
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@iamamamam
the person whose n.a.p. i connected to: (after like 4 hours) omg i'm sorry for the late replies!!
me: ha ha... u are like Little babey... Watch This
I know you've decided to withdraw from open censure, but I think I missed the post where you apologized to all the people whom you shit-talked and guilted over ships, however indirectly. Could you please post a link to that? Thank you!
the amount of salt in this ask is fucking incredible
in all seriousness, heres as serious as an answer i can muster.
Keep reading
what youve basically said:
“ill apologize to whom i want to apologize aka to who IVE decided ive hurt”
“im going to do it privately where my reputation is safe and untarnished and no one can see how awful a bully ive been/am being”
“im not actually going to change my ways because im not actually remorseful, and ill show that by calling anon a phoney”
i didnt write this ask, but this is not how you apologize at all. you also underestimate how far your hate has reached, and how many people you have hurt and continue to hurt with your shitty “apologies”
apologies arent meant to be about YOU. this isnt about YOU. apologies are meant to HUMBLE yourself under the OTHERS you are apologizing to, the ones youve hurt. youre MEANT to take the risk of opening yourself up to attack to show that you MEAN the remorse, theres no “virtue signalling” and i dont think you even know what that means.
i dont know what youre trying to gain.
youve hurt my friends and you continue to hurt them even now by acting like everything is fucking rainbows bc you saw the ground rushing towards you and decided to cover your ass instead of actually caring about anyone else
you havent rescinded anything youre still the same.
im not doing this privately to save your ass. im not playing your game.
yeah its not just you and im not picking on you, im calling you out so you dont get a fucking medal for “Having a change of heart” because you havent earned it yet, despite everyone acting like you have which is real nice for you huh
also: ‘ im not going to say “im sorry. all you stridercest shippers are so fucking valid.” thats just not going to happen. never. not in a million years. ‘
thats hilarious. saving a lil bit just in case the antis come after you instead, huh??
you dont care, youre not sorry. fuck off from my friends and their friends. come back when you mean it.
Hey nasties
Incest and pedophilia are both morally wrong and illegal. They are also nasty. I see these gross things all the time and I’ve literally never searched for them, I’m always searching for normal fandom things and I come across your nasty shit and IT IS VERY DISPLEASING TO A PERSON WHO DOES NOT WANT TO SEE SAID NASTY SHIT TO FIND IT IN THIS WAY.
That is all.
Hey nasty entitled shitstain
These posts are both morally incoherent and irrelevant. They are also stupid. I see these gross things all the time and I’ve literally never searched for them, I’m always searching for normal fandom things and I come across your nasty shit and IT IS VERY DISPLEASING TO A PERSON WHO DOES NOT WANT TO SEE SAID NASTY SHIT TO FIND IT IN THIS WAY. get a blacklist we’re all using it. That is all.
fanfiction can’t normalize anything; shipping can’t normalize anything. Something that is read/seen by only a few thousand people at most isn’t normalizing shit
anti logic: ignoring bros abuse glorifies it!!! write dave fucking suffering otherwise youre glorifying abuse!!!
💞Your ships aren’t worth causing someone to break down💞
💞those someones are responsible for themselves and the content they consume💞
💞By creating harmful content you are contributing to the normalization of the harm💞
💞controversial content has always been created it is incorrect to assume people cannot think for themselves💞
💕💞by creating harmful content you are contributing to the normalization of the action making it harder for people to speak out against it go outside and tell someone not on tumblr incest is ok you sick freak💕💞
💕💞 writing about incest and other confronting themes is actually absolutely ok and harmless and ill gladly discuss it some more with my university professors if you promise to block the content that clearly upsets you and stop inserting yourself into tag searches that you dont like 💕💞
💞Your ships aren’t worth causing someone to break down💞
💞those someones are responsible for themselves and the content they consume💞
💞By creating harmful content you are contributing to the normalization of the harm💞
💞controversial content has always been created it is incorrect to assume people cannot think for themselves💞
💞Your ships aren’t worth causing someone to break down💞
💞those someones are responsible for themselves and the content they consume💞
hello its me, incest,
Reasons I don’t do big long-post RP’s: people feel the need to write 15 paragraphs of internal dialogue and thoughts, leaving me with literally nothing to respond to
antishipping as the cool new trend, or: why are most antis under 25 years old?
I really think that antishipping is a movement that’s gaining ground with the younger & newer arrivals to fandom spaces; a kind of ‘cool trend’, so to speak. In aggregate, antishipping culture is beautifully constructed to be particularly appealing to teenage or college-age people - and especially American people - who are marginalized, oppressed, often social outcasts in real life and often under-educated about their own marginalized identity, and I kind of wanted to get into why.
the other day I posted to talk a little about why I think antis tend to be young (and American). To sum up & simultaneously add a little more:
a brain still growing - until the age of 22-25, the frontal lobe of the brain does not finish development. the frontal lobe handles higher reasoning skills and complex problem-solving. Thus: the growing mind is particularly prone to incomplete reasoning, black and white thinking, and total empathy failure, making it hard for those under 25 to fully comprehend the impact of their actions, sympathize with others, or tackle social problems with nuance. Truly comprehending that others come from entirely different worldviews or have entirely different experiences and that being different doesn’t make them wrong and that most deep-seated problems need complex solutions that require nuance tends to come with this final brain growth. (Not always, of course. but often.)
current American sex education being mostly scaremongering and abstinence-only + ready availability of sexual content, specifically pornographic material, online + hypersexual marketing = a deeply fucked cultural understanding of sex that adolescents are particularly unequipped to detangle
escaping religious/Christian fundamentalist tenets but not their mindset: for a religion supposedly based on forgiveness, organized Christianity is not very forgiving. Everyone is a sinner & a single sin is enough to doom you to eternal hellfire, if you don’t do the right thing you’ll face Judgement in heaven/your salvation is always uncertain, and sinners must be cast out from your midst: the moral/communal purity that organized Christianity often demands can take years to deprogram (and this is not to mention the gender essentialism, homophobia/queerphobia, and anti-sex/anti-kink messages, accompanied by a strong undercurrent of anti-intellectualism to discourage self-education on these subjects!) teens just breaking away from this toxicity are especially unequipped to untangle themselves & tend to take the same purity standards with them to a more liberal cause instead (such as enforcing ‘social justice’ in shipping), with a side-order of internalized, unexamined anti-lgbt/sex/kink/etc rhetoric that dovetails rather neatly with exclusionist rhetoric.
exclusionary gatekeeping as baby’s first lgbt/queer culture lesson - transformative fandom is a frequent haven for marginalized people who don’t see themselves in the media they consume (so they change the media to meet their emotional, sexual, social, etc needs, you see?). because it’s not taught in schools here in the US, it’s not too uncommon for newcomers to get their first big dose of history and cultural education that’s not centered around straight white men in fandom. but what are they learning? here on tumblr, since about 2013, exclusionists have used the relative lack of education on queer history to build an false history, one where the gender binary is strongly enforced and sexualities can only exist on the binary axis: nb/queer/ace/pan and sometimes even bi and trans -identifying people are erased or ‘not oppressed enough’. this history is the one that young entrants into fandom are more likely to encounter first and have no knowledge with which to counter it. Antishipping derives its mode of operation and principle values from exclusionists. It dictates who can write or do what based on their sexual/gender identity (and sometimes race as well). Its definition of social justice is also heavily influenced by exclusionists because its members are mostly young people who learned all their queer history from exclusionists.
the particularly adolescent vulnerability to peer pressure (the need to belong & the fear of being ostracized): teens are particularly inclined to be influenced by friendships and maintaining social ties. antishipping is a highly cohesive, insular culture with enforced rules of conduct, striking clear in/out lines & engaging heavily in use of peer pressure. antishippers are encouraged to break ties with those who don’t conform to their rules of conduct, so existing friends are pressured to become antishippers themselves or risk losing their friendsgroup. once ‘in’, friends will abandon you for not keeping the party line & persecution of outsiders is encouraged, further strengthening the need to conform. to stop antishipping is to lose your entire social media community/support structure and potentially endure a hate-mob of your former associates. In other words: it’s easy to become an anti in order to keep your friends and almost impossible to quit without losing everything, and teens are especially vulnerable to this kind of social structure.
having a just cause & a space to control: adolescence is a time of particular powerlessness as decreased monitoring expands your horizons rapidly but your ability to affect the problems you see (usually) doesn’t. antishipping rests its laurels on a(n incomplete, corrupted) form of social justice/righting the wrongs of the privileged. being an anti feels like making a difference b/c your actions have visible impact on your immediate surroundings. (and having a space you feel you can control can be even more urgent with additional pressures like abusive home situations, past traumatic experiences, academic pressure, untreated/unrecognized mental illness, being forced into the closet b/c of queer/transphobia, etc.)
an American (and to a lesser degree, western European) post 9/11 cultural shift from prioritizing personal freedom to prioritizing communal safety; those under the age of 20 were 3 or younger or not yet born when the shift happened. antishipping prioritizes communal ‘safety’ (‘bad’, ‘dangerous’, or ‘inappropriate’ things must never be mentioned to protect people from hearing about them and being either corrupted or harmed) over personal freedom (allowing ‘bad’/’dangerous’ things to be discussed, and it is up to the individual to personally decide what content to avoid).
of course, all of this is conjecture based on my own experiences and observations, and it’s not a set of rules - just circumstances that I believe absolutely encourage young fandom members to end up falling headfirst into antishipping and either never notice how hurtful it is or never get the courage to leave it behind. And I think there’s a lot more the popularity/prevalence of antishipping today, but this post is already longer than I meant it to be.
(I always go light on racism when i talk about antishipping because while antis frequently accuse shippers of racism, it’s disingenuous to class racism as the same kind of oppression as lgbt+-phobia & misogyny, particularly in America - they’re related, but not the same. Centering non-white (and especially black) voices does not get the same focus as centering lgbt and women’s voices in fandom, and I think it’s easy to dismiss legitimate charges of racism as ‘anti bullshit’ when we class all these types of marginalization together.)
added some sources to the original post. I figured if I was going to make this many assertions, I should provide at least a few links.
Yeah, let’s not include aces in with the actual LGBT people, given how disgustingly homophobic (as well as misogynist) ace Tumblr is, and how it deliberately distorts LGBT history to invite itself into a community it despises. “Reactionary exclusive gatekeeping” my fucking ass.
Also, while LGBT issues definitely get more focus in fandom than racism does, the bunch who came up with the term “klandom” for people who ship, say, Steve/Bucky instead of Steve/Sam and who rail against Rey for “taking the focus off” their pweshus cinnamon roll Finn are antis pure and simple. Nobody is obliged to ship anyone they don’t want to.
I like how out of everything in this post you honed in on the mention of ace identities as being part of the LGBT community and decided to take that apart - a passing, brief mention in conjunction with a lot of other identities - and following it immediately with taking my closing comment about racism in bad faith. I mean, if that alone doesn’t speak about your priorities …
Anyway, I guess it’s time to play Oppression Olympics because we’re all so fond of it.
That’s a beautiful example of respectability politics you’ve engaged there - the argument that unless a group behaves ‘correctly’, they don’t deserve protection or recognition. Let’s not decide who is and isn’t ‘actual LGBT people’ based on how some people in a group behave as if their behavior has any relationship to how straight and cis they are. This is the same argument that antis (and exclusionists) use to decide who they listen to: you’re not a ‘real’ survivor/gay person/mentally ill person/whatever-the-fuck unless you behave the way they want you to. It’s also been used to oppress pretty much all marginalized groups throughout history.
Is the person you linked being disgusting? yes. Are there many ace people on tumblr who say disgusting things? also yes. Should they be called out and stop being assholes? Fuck yes! Does that mean that all ace people are magically no longer ace? no, that’s absurd, and your argument is idiotic.
This continuous insistence that ace people are indistinguishable from straight people and experience minimal social difficulties or discrimination, and never belonged to the queer community before is factually incorrect, and the arguments used to vault them out of the queer community are identical to the ones used against bisexual people.
I enjoyed your second link immensely - I’d recommend everyone read it, especially to get a nice clear picture of how trans people were (and continue to be) misunderstood even within the community, how people whose identity didn’t exactly fall in the Major 4 were still largely invisible, and how bisexuality used to (and still does) only ‘count’ if you’re in a wlw/mlm relationship. (and how this guy has completely forgotten that queer went through an intense reclamation process in America in the 80′s/90′s and went on to be used in a mainstream way to refer to the community as a whole for the last 15-20 years or so.) It’s great to see the perspective of a gay man who lived a lot of that history, because it’s pretty different from the views of people who were in the community but still invisible - it’s a viewpoint that doesn’t get enough discussion on tumblr.
So: let’s not with the ‘who belongs here’ gatekeeping rhetoric, please? But hey, fail-fandomanon (from which you hail) harbors a solid community of biphobic lesbians, TERFs, and ace-exclusionists, so your position is not a surprise!
(For the record, I enjoy fail-fandomanon a lot and have enjoyed a lot of your posts here on tumblr, but this is a point on which we’re just not going to agree anytime soon.)
To your second point: of course there are antis that misuse accusations of racism to discredit people who ship things they don’t approve of, but let’s be real: fandom has a racism problem. There’s absolutely a bias towards shipping white characters over POC (especially black) characters. And who can wonder? it’s almost like there’s a lengthy American history of being really fucking gross to POC and thinking of non-white bodies in oversexualizing or desexualizing or stereotypical ways. (This problem gets aggravated by anti-shipping applying pressure to fandom and raising the stakes of criticism to insane levels for everyone, but it would exist even if antis weren’t here making it worse.)
in conclusion: There’s value to making the effort to deprogram your brain in light of white bias in media, but that’s not the same thing as making people ship things they don’t want to.
I feel like one of the big reasons women, both queer and straight, gravitate toward male/male ships is because of the way it allows women to explore male sexuality in a nonthreatening way. Many women grow up learning that men are predators and to see male sexuality as scary. We are taught to safeguard ourselves from men and to be the gatekeepers of sexuality. This makes it hard to enjoy attraction to men because, unfortunately, fears about male sexuality are grounded in reality. Exploring attraction to men and male sexuality in a m/m relationship takes a lot of this apprehension and imbalance away. It allows women to appreciate the beauty and complicated nature of male sexuality in many forms without feeling threatened.
Also, and I think this is a big one, gay and queer male culture is where men are objectified sexually. In most spaces, women are the ones who are objectified. (Objectification is something that is natural to an extent and a part of exploring sexuality as long as we still treat people with respect and as long as it is equal opportunity objectification, imo) Seeing men through a queer male gaze can be really refreshing and erotic for women, too.
I know that for me personally it helped me see the beauty, grace, strength, and eroticism of the male form and male sexuality. The way men are framed in straight spaces is not very sexually appealing to many women, so seeing men through a lens where they are sexualized as well as seen as complex beings is definitely appealing.
I totally agree that women (especially straight women) need to be careful not to fetishize queer men and m/m ships. I think we should be engaged in what’s going on and self-critical, but I also think this is an important aspect to think about. We live in such a patriarchal society that these ships are important for many women and level the playing field in world where women are objectified and eroticized but it’s rarely the other way around in mainstream culture.
This is really important, lesbians can enjoy m/m ships too.
HANDY DANDY RP GUIDE!!!
can misogyny be a nsfwe category thing please
Someone: h-
Me: BRO BEAT DAVE, NEVER KEPT FOOD IN THE HOUSE, WAS AN OVERALL SHITTY ABUSIVE GUARDIAN, YET FUCKERS STILL HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SHIP THEM AND PRETEND BRO NEVER HURT HIM
yeah cause theyre not real lol
Imagine giving a shit what kinks the owner if a website has lmfao
Imagine caring so much about what other people rp that you try to get a legitimately good site shut down