I'm Aya. 💓

the writer that ran out of words.

[iamayaaaaa-blog]

The vacancy that sat in my heart, is a space that now you hold.

[iamayaaaaa-blog]

I just thought about this, you can't swim without actually drowning. You tried, of course, but failed to do so. In aspects of life, there's always these shits and run arounds that even tho you want to keep on trying, it will just fall to the result of not being able to draw away the fear nor to overcome that feeling.

[iamayaaaaa-blog]

The Meaning of MOVE from ‘Moving On’

I ain't looking forward bout the holidays and all whenever the last remaining four months of the year seem to flash on my very eyes. For this holidays doesn't just bear happiness and inevitable laughters and celebrations, they also carries outgrown memories. I don't like to talk bout shitty regrets on my life nor the love I just can't get. I'm just probably wondering if there might be a sense of lasting contentment on the present time and don't even had the guts to look back on the past. Tell me if of all the years you're alive today, there's not even a single memory you can't forget from the past. I'm not here to invoke anyone's story to tell and regrets to fell unto words.

 I do regret, OKAY. And I know you also do. But there's just one thing for sure that you might agree as I did-- IT  SHAPED ME, for who I am today.

 I want to tell briefly bout the love that still haunts me. It rooted back on my grade school, fifth grade to be exact. I like this guy whose more feminine than me HAHA, tho, its not an issue. Don't care coz I liked him the way he is. Things just don't fit in for us. We passed middle school, junior high, senior high and now to this point. We're college folks. Everybody changes, I changed and yeah, HE ALSO CHANGED, A MORE MASCULINE, LOVER BOY KIND. The guy whom I don't really know anymore.

 There's still a small hope inside me that maybe our time will come. That I could feel his breath over my ears and his arms wrapped around me. I waited for seven long damn years for him to turn back and asked me if I do still love him. Tho he never did. He's already in love with a girl whom he vowed to take on front of God. So, yeah. Talk about shitty regrets, that's me.

 This part of my heart aching love story isn't leaving'. So, maybe, just maybe, if I could learn how to get that sense of relief and contentment for today, I'll gladly share it to you. I don't know what's more painful that my love story but, we're on the same page-- we're trapped on some sort of lonesome blues, tho, don't worry, we'll move past it.