Honey Dew

Like the melon... 29 he/they/theirs/lil ni**a I'm here to exist in peace, even within my own inner loathing. #I do not be writing

[iamhunnydo]

Honey Dew

Cause I’m raw like honey and my flower glistens like a dewy morning glory in the sunrise at the crack of dawn...

[iamhunnydo]

I made a substack!

I made a substack for my writing, mostly poems, but I made one to potentially get more serious about my work. I want it to be seen for reasons only known to my fingers and the keys I'm writing this on.

I need to figure out a way to get the posts to publish on here at the same time that they post on there. I will try to update this page as much as I can in the event that I can't.

I would love your support and it's a free subscription.

[iamhunnydo]

How does one stop developing feelings for someone who doesn't openly see you like that? Asking for myself.

The more i engage in conversation with one of my friends the stronger i feel for them. We already tried when we first met but it wasn't the right time. Now I don't think I'm what they're looking for in a partner, even tho the attraction physically is still present from them. It would make me feel like they're settling for me if i were to express how i feel towards them. I don't want that for myself. It'll always be at the forefront of my mind then.

I enjoy and accept everything I've learned about them in the last 5 going on 6 years including the things I'm just learning about them. I'm not even turned off by their vulnerability which was something I noticed myself doing with people after awhile.

Very tired of seeing romantic qualities in my friends like that. Why can't my brain just let them be my friends...?

[iamhunnydo]

We stopped being friends almost 2 years ago due to a big miscommunication. And my open complaining and shit talking. 🤣🤣

[iamhunnydo]

Why has it become uncool to not be rude? Why is it unfathomably difficult to keep mean comments to onesself?

There's a bidding war on the best comment, the best dig, the best insult. The reward being clout and 15 seconds of fame, but what is that fame to the receivers now infamous view and perception you've painted with your insult. "Is the person in the room with us right now?" I have to stop myself from asking this, as time and time again has shown, that apathy fueled comment would've been uttered but quieter in the presence of the receiver.

Everything's okay to be said and shared cause it's the internet, that's what they've been conditioned to believe at least. So why should they not comment what they think about the person, right? They shared it to the internet it's fair game now. Formulating opinions and insults filled with vitriol, bigotry, and hate is fine cause it's... "Well it's the internet, duh!"

The comments take a nasty turn the more marginalized though. Everyone's sooooo creative, with how they seem to effortlessly find the perfect slur to degrade you with. The right derogatory pejorative that fits you. Then mock intersectionality in the next breath. They were able to see your intersection at the door, but couldn't be bothered to leave their aspiring wordsmith talents there too.

It's all performative... ALL OF IT! The nastiness AND the remorse! They'll shit on you then uplift you when you're dead cause 'you don't know what someone else is going through', but y'all just called that transman every slur and transphobic combination you could just to call him ugly. Y'all just told that disabled person that you don't care about equitable things for them because they happen to also be fat. You thought it was funny and harmless, right?

Right? The internet is just jokes, it's not serious. Says the person who's allowed that perception to taint their mind. Not even realizing that it could be them in a matter of moments. On display against your will subjected to the unwarranted and unwanted remarks of others for a quick laugh. "But it's just the internet. It's no big deal..."

[iamhunnydo]

Am i not deserving of nice words?

[iamhunnydo]

You are. You deserve so many and you'll get them. But don't forget you are able to give them to yourself too 🫶🏽

[iamhunnydo]

I pray that you Stay

An original by Huh-knee D. (me)

I pray that you find a reason to stay,

A reason that doesn't bind you

One that doesn't make you fearful of who would find you

A reason that brings you peace & joy

Even if it's just purchasing a toy

I pray you find a reason to stay,

A reason that's not shameful

One that won't condemn you or make you hateful

A reason that doesn't bind you to this world out of obligation

Instead may it fill you with indignation.

May it give you the voice you've yearned for,

And never cause you stagnation

May it give you the strength you forgot you had

Especially on days that feel most sad

May it be your guiding force when days won't end,

And over time, may it be your reason to live.

May you find a reason despite what your mind will say

I pray you find a reason even if it changes every day

I woke up one day and noticed a lot of ppl I cared about weren't having the best time in life at the time I wrote this. I read it back to myself today on a whim, as I wasn't in the best head space, and I felt like it was finally time to share it. This goes out to anyone deeply struggling mentally and trying to find a reason any reason to make it worth it. Whatever 'It' is for you. 🫶🏽

[iamhunnydo]

I'm so fake for not posting like ever fr ngl 😬

[iamhunnydo]

I pray that you Stay

An original by Huh-knee D. (me)

I pray that you find a reason to stay,

A reason that doesn't bind you

One that doesn't make you fearful of who would find you

A reason that brings you peace & joy

Even if it's just purchasing a toy

I pray you find a reason to stay,

A reason that's not shameful

One that won't condemn you or make you hateful

A reason that doesn't bind you to this world out of obligation

Instead may it fill you with indignation.

May it give you the voice you've yearned for,

And never cause you stagnation

May it give you the strength you forgot you had

Especially on days that feel most sad

May it be your guiding force when days won't end,

And over time, may it be your reason to live.

May you find a reason despite what your mind will say

I pray you find a reason even if it changes every day

I woke up one day and noticed a lot of ppl I cared about weren't having the best time in life at the time I wrote this. I read it back to myself today on a whim, as I wasn't in the best head space, and I felt like it was finally time to share it. This goes out to anyone deeply struggling mentally and trying to find a reason any reason to make it worth it. Whatever 'It' is for you. 🫶🏽

[daily-spooky]

[daily-spooky]

[iamhunnydo]

I have decided to start a series of poems. They will be personification poems. Of things tangible and not. It may take me awhile but I have come to enjoy writing poems that conceptualize the inanimate.

[kianamaiart]

rough height chart!

[iamhunnydo]

My goal for the next year is to write more. I want my poems to be known but I myself desire to remain a mystery. I also want to try my hand at short stories some. So i think I'm gonna try that too. But mostly more poems are to come.

[iamhunnydo]

Am i not deserving of nice words?

[iamhunnydo]

I pray that this reaches its target audience so that maybe it'll give you a reason even for the day

[iamhunnydo]

I really hate that my brain can't let go of things. I don't want to hold space for you in that way anymore, but my brain won't let you go. So now i have to establish that boundary, but my brain doesn't really want to do that. My brain wants to tell you that I see you and always have seen you. It craves to tell you how much we adore you.

My mind desires to describe to you the many ways I could love you. The multiple facets of my affection and adoration vibrating all at the same speed with only one purpose. To show you that someone does want you in the way you so long dreamed of. But how jaded of me to think I could be your source of adoration too...

How blind am I to see that you no longer hold that space for me. Delusional and clinging to what could've been, yet again. Knowing you've done nothing extraordinary to catch or keep my interest, I still cling. Possibly in hopes that maybe just maybe I'll get my happy ending.

But it's been time to let go. Passed time, honestly. Time I let you and that cute, delusional dream go. For I can't hold that space for you anymore. You've outgrown its place. Overgrowing my anxieties in the process with haste. Not being "just right" was often the case. So i make boundaries to save face. To save me from the unnecessary heartbreak. But my brain just can't let go of things, and that's something I hate.

[iamhunnydo]

Seems the universe works right on time...

This getting reblogged at the time I'm releasing this same person again as I let them hurt me one last time. Seems as though it was a long awaited grieving process. I wrote another piece closing out this person's chapter in my life recently. It's like I came to the other side of things and accepted what can't be now. Giving gratitude to things that were instead of lamenting on what couldn't be. For if it weren't for them I may not have found my voice again. <3 I'll consider sharing it as a farewell send off when I'm done grieving and feeling this go around.

[iamhunnydo]

I've been writing a little more, and it's made me really happy. I'm trying to compile more poems so I can start seriously displaying them here. Although, I'm very glad to have been able to find a sense of direction with my feelings and words. I really want to try to write about other things that aren't so personal but I don't know if I can. I wanna try to at least write about more relatable things. I never feel like ppl can relate to what I currently write about. The pieces are so raw, personal, and specific that, I find it hard to believe someone relates to it, but i have an 8H Pisces moon in my tropical natal chart so that's on brand 😂