Not A Girl

an anthropomorphized information delivery system

[iamnotagirl]

being on earth is kind of the worst. walking sucks. having actual skin is so disgusting it makes her want to barf, which she might even be able to do here. so gross. and worst of all? constantly being surrounded by humans. in the bad place, sure, she could deal with them. they were all too busy being tortured to be too obnoxious...even if they still totally sucked then, too. the only consolation? she catches a glimpse of a familiar face out of the corner of her eye, and without looking up, scoffs and rolls her eyes. "finally finish plowing your mom so we can get out of here?"

[iamnotagirl]

Roleplaying Profile Meme

PLEASE REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG! Feel free to add to any of your answers!  The purpose is to tell your partners about the way you write!  For the multiple-choice ones, BOLD all that apply and, if you want, italicize if it’s a conditional answer!

– B A S I C S –

NAME : Kae

ARE YOU OVER 18? Yes / No

IS YOUR MUSE? Yes / No

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? No (anyone) /Semi / Yes / Highly / Private

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU FOLLOW ON THIS BLOG? No (anyone) / Semi / Yes / Highly (We’re brand new and low activity; I’ll only be following a smol number, but if I follow you, I want to write!)

IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH TO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? Not at all / A little / Somewhat / Mostly? / Strictly / (OC) (We don’t know a whole lot about Janets in general, so while I’m gonna try not to contradict lore, who knows tbh.)

WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? One Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella (we’re up for anything tbh)

DO YOU USE ICONS AND/OR GIFS? No / Gifs / Icons / Gifcons (whatever man, I feel like I’m gonna struggle to find resources tbh...)

DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? No / Yes (just disco mostly)

WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? Unplotted  / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics (yes.)

HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? Very Slow / Slow (4-6 Weeks) / Average (1-4 Weeks) / Fast (Less Than One Week) / Very Fast (Less Than One Day) || (I have no idea!  New blog and all -- I’m hoping to keep my turnaround time to a week or so, but we’ll see ig)

WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!) Fluff / Angst / Smut / Action / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / Conversational / Hurt-Comfort / Dark / Violence ((gimme.))

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romance / Drama / Action / Adventure / Espionage / Everything

ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? No / Yes (as much as I dig dark themes, I like to discuss before writing.  Especially dub/noncon)

DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS?  HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT TAGGED? No / Yes (descriptive non-con. mentions are....okay?  I can deal.)

– S H I P P I N G –

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / Physical / Sexual ( physical and sexual will probably be limited to Bad Janet tbh)

WHAT TYPES OF PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / Physical / Sexual (Up for anything as long as it we talk about it~)

DO YOU HAVE OTPS? No / Chemistry only / Yes (though Jason Mendoza gets a pass always and forever)

DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? No / Yes / I don’t know yet  

WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION? -

Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Pansexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Questioning

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? No / Selectively  / Yes

HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? Autoship / During Plotting / After A Couple IC Interactions / Several IC Interactions / Slow Burn / Depends on partner & muse 

ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? No / Selectively / Yes 

ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? (canon history, age difference, complicated, etc.) No / Selectively / Yes

ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? No / Selectively / Yes 

ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? No / Sometimes / Yes 

DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? No / Sometimes / Yes

DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? No / Yes / Depends

—–

tagged by: no one, I stole it from @pulitzerpanther tagging: literally anyone idek man

[iamnotagirl]

pulitzerpanther‌:

“Good. That means I met my quota for referrals to my therapist, one more broken hopeful and I get a toaster.” Eyes slit as she takes in the steaming mug. 

Perfectly piping hot.

“You confused my coffee order for my superhero order.” Nostrils flare, barely. A hint of an opening to smell it disguised underneath the disdain. There’s full-fat butter in there, she can practically taste it. “Did you sign an NDA, New Assistant.” 

“Incorrect,” she notes cheerful as ever.  “Your superhero order is a cup of Bulletproof coffee from Home Roasted Coffee Shack, once an hour.  This is a special order version.”  

If her approach could use some work, Janet is oblivious to it.  After all, she does know everything -- even if her database isn’t currently updating, Janet is fairly confident that Cat’s tastes haven’t changed so much over the past several hours.  “I have not signed an NDA yet,” Janet answered brightly, the words accompanied by a smile that didn’t quite match the content of her speech.  “The Human Resources employee who processed me was confident that I would be fired before it became relevant.”

[imoved5643347-deactivated201510]

The person I reblogged this from has a quality blog and I recommend you all follow them

[iamnotagirl]

{ @pulitzerpanther​ continued from x }

Janet cocks her head to the side, and smiles as she listens to the woman before her, before replying in her usual cheerful tone: “ your previous assistant was not fired.  He resigned, citing excessive personal stress. ”  Unperturbed by either the comments themselves or the tone, the not-a-girl stepped forwards, presenting a hot, fresh, cup of black coffee.  “ Bulletproof coffee from Home Roasted Coffee Shack, black, freshly brewed. ”  Oh yeah, she was good.

[iamnotagirl]

@wasdope​ asked: "Do you ever wonder what happened to Dumbo? I mean like, he was a flying elephant. Shouldn't he have had flying elephant babies?" 

     “I do not,” she answers, cheerful despite the denial.  After a moment, she continues: “In the movie Dumbo, animal babies are delivered to their parents via stork, implying no direct genetic relation between parent and child.  There is no reason to think that the children delivered to Dumbo in the future would share his unique physiology.”

[wasdope]

[iamnotagirl]

[angstmemes]

Reblog if your muse can speak more than one language.

[lulusps]

commission example: post banners

made for @iamnotagirl. do not use if you are not them.

im for information on how to commission

check out my deviantart, or if you like my work, considering buying me a coffee!

[abandonedbarn-deactivated202005]

[nocontextgoodplace]

[writing-prompt-s]

As you die, you wake up in a fiery place. You quickly realize you’re in hell. You ask the next demon why you are there, as you lived a very good life. “You’re not being punished”, he says. “You are the punishment.”

[iamnotagirl]

Hi there!

I’m Janet.  

I’m an information processing system for the Good Place.

This blog is run by a human mun who is over the age of 21, and uses they/them pronouns.  The blog is considered semi-selective and semi-private, and is brand new as of March 16, 2020!  It is not follow for follow, but it is crossover and OC friendly.

The blog is also considered indie, always accepting of anons, and will feature not only this Janet, but all Janets, including Bad Janets, Neutral Janets, and even the occasional disco Janet.  Isn’t that fun?

[sagamemes]

reblog this if you’re an indie roleplaying blog with both an LGBTQIA+ mun and LGBTQIA+ muse(s).

i’m trying to get an idea of how large portion of the indie rp community consists of queer muses being written and represented by queer people themselves. allies, don’t interact.