I AM NOT THE ONLY PEASANT

Tough times.

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shoutout to all my peeps with eczema, skin discoloration, acne, huge/obvious scars, stretch marks, or any other type of "bad skin" yall are beautiful

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

Sorry Babushka

But you have a run in your stockings. Apparently, Mel Gibson's ex-jump off and her nearly naked friend were turned away by security from the exclusive Vanity Fair post-Oscars party.

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

The School Bus Queef Fight

It was rutting period on the public school bus and the sounds of pussy farts was in the air. Naturally, another rider witnessing the sex act started laughing and for his trouble got elbowed in the testicles. What is wrong with teens these days?

For one officer, it took two tries to get this crime report right. 

Apparently, the police officer's superiors were not happy about his truthful report so I can imagine what they would have thought about mine. So they made him redo it less "graphically." Makes you wonder how often we get sanitized police reports and why, especially over stuff like this.

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

That Burning Sensation

Morons at the party laughed, danced, cheered and said they got that shit on videotape with their cellphones as a man's costume caught fire and he burned to death after lighting up a cigarette. I don't know who needs a useless scolding more: the watchers or the dead idiot, Gilbert Estrada, who had to smoke while wearing a flammable homemade creation made of burlap sacks and straw... jeez.

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

Cue That Knight Rider Theme

I am obvious derelict in my libations lately.

I wish I was kidding but in Shelton, Connecticut a Cumberland Farms convenience store clerk was critically injured on the job while trying to stop the theft of two giant David Hasselhoff “Thirsty” signs pitching Cumberland's own Farmhouse blend iced coffee. The life-sized cutout thieves, struck the clerk trying to stop them as they were fleeing the scene, somehow dragged him before throwing him backward onto his head.

I keep telling you folks, $7/hour jobs with no health care benefits are not worth life and limb. As a bonus, Cumberland Farms as a company has a habit of rewarding clerks that try to do the right thing with pink slips for violating company policy. I’m sure rule #223B, subsection 1.21 says leaving the inside of the store premises is not permitted when you are alone on your graveyard shift, and can result in disciplinary actions up to and including termination.

Story: http://www.ctpost.com/policereports/article/Clerk-hurt-protecting-Hasselhoff-ad-signs-4745548.php#photo-5066442

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

In kid stuff today, pan pizza, anyone?

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

Dummy On Duty

It's the ultimate in a useless but cost-effective workforce! The dummy, wearing a baseball cap in his square head and resting behind the driver's seat of a vehicle is supposed to deter crime under the "someone is watching you" theory. Alas, it did not work. This thing was 'guarding' the well-being of guests at the Corktown Inn in that urban blight known as Detroit when one of those guests was shot to death in her room. The 21-year-old victim called the police but when they arrived, the desk clerk sent them away saying he knew nothing about any call. A housekeeper caught the cops in the parking lot and asked them to come back because she heard gun shots, saw a broken window and a woman lying on the floor of her room.

Nice work dummy.

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

It Used to be Good to be a Joy-Riding Vice-Mayor

Last week testimony started in the trial of former Mount Carmel, Tennessee alderman and  Vice-Mayor William Lee Blakely, 30, a public servant whose mission after being elected seemed to be to expose himself to as many women drivers as possible by hanging his genitals out the car window while driving at speeds in excess of 90 miles per hour.  Who’d have thought it was even possible? Certainly not I.  Most of the victims’ stories begin the same way, with Blakely pulling up alongside them on the highway, then waving to catch their attention.  Then the free, demented peepshow and masturbating session would begin, causing both Blakely and his victims to drive erratically. Between the speeding, weaving and the behind the wheel "workouts," I don’t have the energy to think about the sad picture it paints.  The women were trying to get away and he was chasing them down like Michael Myers.  This might have continued until someone wrecked, but luckily, victim Deborah Sturgill wrote his tag number down on her hand so police could apprehend him. He now faces a variety of criminal charges including indecent exposure, reckless endangerment, and criminal attempt to commit aggravated assault.  This Bud’s for you, Blakely. 

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

Two Girls, One Glove in the Hands of a Rogue Cop

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SWAT used poor black neighborhood for training because it is ‘realistic’

The chief of police in Albany, New York says that his department just wanted a “realistic” setting when it frightened residents in a poor, predominately African-American neighborhood with SWAT training exercises that included firing blank ammunition and exploding flash grenades.

On Thursday, Albany’s SWAT team shocked nearby residents when it stormed a public housing complex that was scheduled to be demolished, according to the Times Union. Photos circulated on Facebook over the weekend showed police in tactical gear, spent shell casings and fake blood.

In a statement on Monday, Police Chief Steven Krokoff called the training “insensitive.”

“In light of the ever-increasing threats to communities across the nation, I have directed our department to provide the most up-to-date training in a manner that is as realistic as possible,” the police chief said. “I certainly did not mean to offend the very people that we are training to protect.”

“In retrospect, it was insensitive to conduct this type of training in the vicinity of occupied residences. We will review how we conduct our neighborhood-based training in the future and include the community in evaluating its appropriateness.”

lbany NAACP President Bernie Bryan wondered why police had chosen the housing project so close to a poor neighborhood.

“The folks in this neighborhood might not have the financial means, but are entitled to the same respect,” Bryan observed. “Whoever made the decision to do this was asleep at the switch.”

One resident who asked not to be named recalled the ordeal to the Times Union.

“We wake up to the sound the next morning of literally small bombs,” she said. “All you could hear was ‘pop, pop, pop’ of an assault rifle, police screaming ‘clear!’ I really thought I was in the middle of a war zone — and I have a four-year-old.”

The vacant apartments are scheduled to be demolished as part of a $11.8 million project to replace them with more efficient units, which is being paid for by New York’s Low-Income Housing Trust Fund.

Documentary film maker Ira McKinley was organizing a demonstration for Monday at 6 p.m. to protest the training exercise.

“You can’t just take poor people and say ‘You’re going to do this and do that with them,’” McKinley told the Times Union. “We’re organizing to formulate our own citizen action group. We’re going to educate our communities.”

The Arbor Hill Neighborhood Association is also meeting at 6 p.m. on Monday to give residents a chance to speak out. Chief Krokoff and Albany Housing Authority Executive Director Steve Longo had been invited but it was not known if they would attend.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/03/25/albany-police-swat-used-poor-black-neighborhood-for-training-because-its-realistic/

[kalinamarie10]

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My kind of girl.

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Hell Starts With Women Not Being Happy With The Role That God Planned

Or that of their would-be rapist. So says the right wing. Amen.

That hellish picture is apparently what my womb looks like, but with fetuses, not old bearded men.

Today I learned that mystery medical research is alive and well in places other than my refrigerator.  I guess the same doctors that ‘mis-educated’ and confused my poor crush Todd Akin, must have been diddling Generations Radio host Kevin Swanson too.   After giving me a bunch of pseudo-feminist theory to reflect on while ‘deucing’, Swanson gifted me with additional nuggets about how “certain doctors and certain scientists” have researched the wombs of women on the pill and found “there are these little tiny fetuses, these little babies, that are embedded into the womb…Those wombs of women who have been on the birth control pill effectively have become graveyards for lots and lots of little babies.”

I must be being punished here on earth because not even the local dealer can find whatever Swanson is taking to be so delusional.

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Visit Original Link

[sailor--ari]

Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone | Bill Withers

[lagoonhag]

Awe

having body hair is awesome because it means i can offend men without even having to open my mouth

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

The Girls I Babysit:

Carly: What are those? (pointing to my scars on my wrist)

Me: They're battle scars.

Anna: Cool! Can I have some?

Me: Please don't ever get some okay? But when you seem someone with them like the ones I have on their wrists go hug them. Don't ever make fun of them okay?

As we're walking around Wal Mart with both of them holding my hands, a young girl walks by us. Carly and Anna go and hug her. She hugs these two adorable little girls back

Girl: Why are you hugging me?

Carly: You have battle scars. *points to her wrists*

And through her tears she looks up at me and smiles.

If you don't reblog this... I don't know what I'd do, just reblog it.

[xbrinni]

Comparison to the Bioshock artwork~  This was the design we went off of when creating the ‘Little Sister’ cosplay for 5 year old, Ireland :) More here

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

I love it!!! DM

[iamnottheonlypeasant-blog]

2013: BANK OF AMERICA IS STILL TOO CROOKED TO FAIL

I am finally too poor for them to keep my account open after they finish sucking away asinine fees for me still being alive from my meager panhandling and online prostitution work. Good riddance!

Bank of America remains a hypergluttonous ward of the state whose limitless fraud and criminal conspiracies we'll all be paying for until the end of time. Did you hear about the plot to rig global interest rates? The $137 million fine for bilking needy schools and cities? The ingenious plan to suck multiple fees out of the unemployment checks of jobless workers? Take your eyes off them for 10 seconds and guaranteed, they'll be into some shit again: This bank is like the world's worst-behaved teenager, taking your car and running over kittens and fire hydrants on the way to Vegas for the weekend, maxing out your credit cards in the three days you spend at your aunt's funeral. They're out of control, yet they'll never do time or go out of business, because the government remains creepily committed to their survival, like overindulgent parents who refuse to believe their 40-year-old live-at-home son could possibly be responsible for those dead hookers in the backyard.

Thank you Rolling Stone for giving my evil bank a real face I recognize.