Just let it out

See what I've seen. Hear what I've heard. Feel what I've felt. Taste what I've tasted. Without limits. Without inhibition. This is me, the almighty ESPIcableME.

[iamnumeronine]

(여자)아이들 WORLD TOUR CONCERT [JUST ME ( ) IDLE] in MNL (part 2)

Going back, may MENT sila before the most awaited performance. They were asked aling part ng concert yung fvorite nila. Minnie said, yung LION, grabe daw hindi nya marinig yung sound sa in-ear nya kase sobrang lakas daw ng cheer namin. And hindi sya scripted kase she’s speaking from her mind, inisio nya pa nga tawag nya dun sa device sa tenga nya eh! Sobrang nakakaflatter po huhu. Ang lakas daw ng energy namin! The members agreed daw and sobrang amazed sila sa PH crowd na kahit mainit, eh ang loud namin.

Tapos describe daw PH in one word:

Minnie - H.O.T. HOT

Miyeon - Dreams Come True!

Yuqi - C.R.A.Z.Y. CRAZY!!

Shuhua - Happiness!!!

Pagod yarn? MENT before TOMBOY ❤️‍🔥

So ayun na nga going back, nag TOMBOY na. Shuta, naging karaoke! Ang sarap kantahin ng “YEAH IM FUCKING TOMBOY” nakakaliberate! Pag eto hindi naging SOTY mang aaway ako ng tao! Hahahha! It’s what it deserves! Tapos iyak iyak sila kunware kase towards the end na daw kami ng con huhuhu. Don’t be sad daw, sabi ni Yuqi, babalik daw sila for sure (yes pls yuqi i believe in you), dahil sa ngayon pa nga lang eh ganito na daw kami, what more sa next con. She will make sure na kasama kami next world tour again, besides, she’s the CEO of CUBE! HAHAHAHAH! AND sabi nya, we know her, she has one word daw so I hold on that thought my baby 💗

Ayun after ng tomboy, umalis na sila. So kami akala namin wala na . Pero di pa naman kase nag oopen ng lights. Tapos yung vcr walang sound 😂 how do i look yung last. Kainis walang sound, nasira yung moment. Tapos sigaw sigaw kami ng ENCORE ENCORE ENCORE (though alam naman talaga namin may 2 or 3 songs pa dapat… so there… we’re on the last quarter of the show…

ENCORE 💜

They sang I’m the trend muna and ang cute pala ng song na yun kase all gidle songs pala andun sa lyrics hehe. Ayun party mode ulet! Then another MENT before the last song. Huhuhu. Napatingin sila sa taas kase may project yung fandom hehe.

And to cap off the concert, yung ultimate last song is POLAROID 😭 di ko na din masyado navideo kase i was rooting sana for the maianot ang film camera pero di sila masyado nag interact, kaway kaway lang pero not bad na din hehe. Soyeon yung pinaka mahabang fanservice sa side namin. Also, nalunod kami sa confetti gagu HAHAHAHAHA sobrang dami di namin sila makita 😂

Confetti storm during polaroid hahahaha

Overall experience, 100/10. Talagang GIDLE lang yung nagdala. The group was very humble and yung energy nila from start to finish, wow, stable. I never saw them falter, their endurance is really amazing. And saludo ako sa work ethics nila grabe, hats off. All smiles nila feels so genuine hindi plastic. I can really feel na we connected. Miyeon was even smiling or CANNOT stop smiling and look contented (yung look na sobrang proud sya sa nakikita nya) even on serious songs kasi nga feeling ko the crowd’s energy make them feel fulfilled in a way. We all know naman na may anxiety din yang mga yan if the public will accept them BUT REST ASSURED GIDLE, PH NEVIES ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU 💜 the vocals and dance, grabe, top notch! Wala talaga akong masabing flaw nila. Ramdam ko yung passion nila. Sa performance and connection with fans. I just wanna say something for Soyeon and Yuqi ( i love the rest of the members though! It’s just that i regret not SPEEAKING to them during the hello session (i fckinb just said hello literally haha pero later ulet).

To Soyeon…

You will always be the best leader of your generation. I can see why you love your group so much, because yall complement each other and all of them supports you and believes and trusts you. I know the weight upon you is so heavy but with your members, life has been more bearable for you. Keep doing what you want and i look forward to you and GIDLE’s projects, keep it up! Thank you capt. soyeon 💜

To Yuqi…

I don’t know where to start but thank you for just existing. I never knew what ive been looking before till i saw you. You are my happy pill. I love your philosophy coz it also makes me feel motivated. Remember that no matter what you are going through, YOU DID WELL YUQI! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! 💜

💜Hello Royalty Session💜

Here we are on our EXCLUSIVE PERK! First time ko eto so super excited! Akala namin pwede namin ivideo sarili namin pero bawal pala kahit yung friend namin so etong shot na to is stolen pa huhu.

Any ayan na nga! Before umakyat sa stage, i tried using my film camera. Shuta biglang nag flash! Buti na lang walang pumansin HAHAHAHA kundi baka napalayas ako dun huhu scared 😭😭😭 kinabahan talaga ako ng 20 times 😭 maaaan , acrylic board lang pagitan namin and we can go near sa kanila. Good thing na din walang bouncer sa tabi nila kaya sobrang saya, i took my time of course.

Pag aykat, si SHUHUAN AGAD OMG! SOBRANG PUTI as in I SAID SARANGHAE HUHU TAPOS OF COURSE EYE TO EYE CONTACT KAMI GAGU 😭 nag half heart ako then kumabit din sya huhuhu so happy! Same as with miyeon! Potekkkk sobrang ganda and parang mama mary pa din! Smiling face talaga si ate mo, AS in sobrang GANDA! pero ang bilis ko kay miyeon akse sabi nung korean ppali ppali 😂 pero nag heart din sya sakin. Huhuhu. Si minnie naman yung next kaya POTEK ANG LIIT NG MUKHA HUHUHUHU tapos all smiles sya then nag heart ako tapos naka hi five sya ahahha tapos nung nag heart sya naka high five naman ako GAGU AHAHAHHA JOKE TIME TALAGA KAY MINNIE. PERO YUNG NGA PPALI PPALI NA NAMAN so di ko namalayan na kay YUQI NA AKO HUHUHUHUHU gusto kong atakihin sa puso, i created enough GAP para masolo ko sya ng mga 5 seconds huhu nag hi five ako sa acrylic huhu then she did that as well. Tapos nag BIG HEART AKO SA ULO THEN GINAYA NYA OMG. THEN EYE TO EYE YUNG SMILE NYA AAAAAAH yung iconic puppy smile nya shet ang precious 😭😭😭😭😭 baby i love you so much! Edi panira na naman yung korean ppali ppali and im down with soyeon naman! Sya na mismo nag hi sa akin kase ang tagal ko daw, alam nya sigurong nagtagal ako kay yuqi, nag heart and appear din ako kay Soyeon hhuhuhu sobrang bait! And shocks gusto kong umiyak after the session! Really life changing and surreal 😭 i will never forget this moment forever young huhuhuhu!

Again…

THANK YOU (G)-IDLE! 💜 I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART! THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME HAPPY 😭😭😭

[iamnumeronine]

(여자)아이들 WORLD TOUR CONCERT [JUST ME ( ) IDLE] in MNL (part 1)

I’m back! Which means na I got to tick off one of my bucket list this 2022 and that is to watch a KPOP FCKING CONCERT ON A FACE TO FACE SETUP! Yes! You heard it right! I just came from GIDLE’s 1st World Tour JUST ME ( ) IDLE in Manila! Though I’ve watched na several cons this year, this is my first time sa mosh pit and FCKING ROYALTY HELLO SESSION! So before we get into that, let me just say a few couple of things about the whole concert:

Concert Experience with Pulp *slash* CUBE

Venue: 7/10 - New Frontier Theater, i was really disappointed nung announcement kase it was a small venue and to think na sobrang hyped ang GIDLE year so i really thought the venue wouldn’t be able to cater us. But apparently, wrong timing siguro yung con for most of the fans kase biglaan and hindi nakapag ipon yung iba so ayun di sya na sold out. Though di naman ramdam kase the venue feels so full pa din and damnnnn ang dami pala namin sa royalty hello 🧸 but during the concert proper, damn, sobrang lapit lang namin sa stage, you can really feel na it’s an intimate concert kase yung feeling na abot kamay mo yung mga artist, sobrang elating 😭 like, my position was in the right side, then like mga 4 to 5 rows of people in front of me but i got to move forward and centerish towards the end na din gawa ng forces of nature HAHA. But the sad part is nasira pala ang aircon during the con so it was VERYYYYY HOT! Like sobrang maraming nag give up sa pit gawa ng nakakasuffocate talaga. Even yung IDLE init na init akala nga namin mag stop si Shuhua baby haha. So kaya medyo half half ako na i-rate ng lower kasi ang lapit talaga but yeah. I give it what it deserves.

Audio: 9/10 - As usual, eto naman bentahe ni NFT, ang ganda nung audio! Very clear sya for me (i was in hello royalty) kaya rinig na rinig ko lahat ng sinasabi. Factor na din siguro n nasa side namin yung speaker sa right so kahit MENT, rinig ko lahat ng sinasabi nila. And the music was so clear parang naka FLAC lahat lossless basta! Ang ganda 💗 i gave it a 9 just because walang live band but live band recording lang :3

Visuals: 7.5/10 - I understand na part si cube ng production kasi underwhelming yung stage setup. Like stage lang and a gigantic LED na hindi AMOLED screen (feels like a screen projection only or something like that). Talagang talent and energy lang ng girls yung puhunan. I expected kase na may parang may takeoff platform din sila pero they just walked to the side sa labas pasok nila sa stage and backstage. Though i would give the visualizer a 100/10 kasi ang aesthetically pleasing sa eyes and very well synchronized sa choreography. Too bad i wasnt able to get the birds eye view for the whole stage sa pictures but it was really nice in actual. Especially sa HWAA 😭

Lights: 9/10 - same sa visuals, aesthetically pleasing and synchronized sa music yung lights direction. I love it, except sa sobrang liwanag ng IDLE sa stage kase ang puti nila sobra!

Overall Production: 8.5/10 - goods na din for a solo concert but we all know naman na GIDLE deserves better right? Hoping we can have a full arena concert next time para bigger stages and gimmicks pa 💗 just like yung Seoul concert nila which i hope na sana may Concert finale sila so I can try going hihi 💗

Now, let’s go to the concert proper…

Start pa lang sobrang amazing ang VCR nila, swag kung swag. And the message, jusko GENIUS talaga. All album titles were mentioned:

I made ROMANCE (Minnie)

I am FANTASY (Miyeon)

I never die ACTION (Shuhua)

I burn DRAMA (Yuqi)

I trust NOIR (Soyeon)

“So, how do I LOOK?”

And then OH MY GOD intro, napa OH MY GOD TALAGA AKO! Grabe ang impact, i got chills listening to Minnie’s voice singing “눈부신 하늘에 시선을 가린 채 네 품 안에 안기네” like sobrang same sa recorded voice sobrang surreal tlaga. And then the girls started singing one by one! Soyeon’s just full of swag. And i was so stunned for like first 30 seconds of the show kase bukod sa i wanted to film the opener, shet na starstruck ako sa kanila. Ang daming cellphone na humarang sa face ko so tinaas ko talaga yung kamay ko. I tried my very best to raise my hands and watch at the same time coz i wanna see them and damn, they look the sane nung sa pictures lang. parang silang mga barbie and gosh! Sobrang live yung boses , dont fight me coz i heard it loud and clear, hindi ko pa nga mabosesan si Yuqi kase ang tinis ng bose nya compared dun sa speaking voice nya. I mean, ang hindi sya yung low low na ineexpect ko mase shet iba yung singing voice ni yuqi sa OMG, waaaah and then i knew, they were singing live talaga. Then pati si miyeon, di ko rin masyado mabosesan shuta ang ganda nung boses, parang may honey and higher sya sa usual na naririnig ko. Iba talaga yung live vocals omg! Si shuhua din jusko nastarstruck ako sa batang yun kase sobrang puti mamee! Parang bondpaper! And then yun n nga, OH MY GOD, SHE SHOWED ME ALL THE STARS AH! THEY LITERALLY SHOWED ME THE STARS KASI ANG SURREAL NILA huhuhuhu

I didnt film everything kasi i wanna stare and memorize their features kase sobrang lapit nila! All the time i was staring intently talaga kay Yuqi kase i can’t believe na she was that PRETTY as in sobrang hindi ako nag kamali ng bias! And miyeon too! Sobrang ganda nya and potek super friendly. She was also always sa side namin with yuqi and shuhua tapos mahilig mag fanservice. I really love her singing voice. I just voice recorded a portion of villain dies and focused on looking at them. It’s really hard to take them all at once! Di pa din ako makapaniwala na andyan sila sa harap ko huhuhuhu. And ang hirap sumiksik halos wala akong makita kaya sumisilip lang ako sa mga braso nila. Sabi ko, mapapagod din kayo hahahaha.

But then LATATA came in and i knew it in myself na i couldn’t let it pass kase it’s their DEBUT single, and buti na lang hindi ako nagsisi! Grabe talaga! Again, recorded a portion of it and enjoyed until the 여자아이들 자기 소개 💗

Look at them… ❤️‍🔥

First one to introduce herself was Minnie (우리 hype girl) she keeps on jumping hahaha so cute!

Next one was our Princess Cho Miyeon! Oh gosh she was very beautiful as in! I spent a good time staring at her coz she’s so pretty! I was like Soyeon to her hahaha!

Up next was captain Soyeon! Oh my gad dang she was so pretty and cool! Umaapaw yung angas! Tapos she did a sexy introduction. Jusko mentor soyeon! Pinapanood lang kita dati sa MMTG pero goshhh.. i’ll dwell later sa pag fangirl per member hihi.

Syempre, next yung ultimate bias ko na si Song Yuqi! Jusko kang bata ka! She was about to say something pa eh kaso nag start na ang crowd sa project, happy birthday Yuqi hahah! Tapos biglang after sabi nya she has nothing to say na i love you and thank you whahahahah napakahyper na bata!

Of course last but not the least si boss baby Yeh Shuhua GRABE SOBRANG PUTI UP UNTIL NOW DI PA DIN AKO MAKARECOVER SA SOBRANG PUTI PARANG PUTO SEKO AWWWWWW

They performed blow your mind, senorita (sobrang cute nung fu fu fu fu fu fu fu, yuqi even let the crowd do it and she danced cutely while we were singing hihi). For the 2nd ment, parang dun ata nasira yung aircon kase sobrang init na init sila, shuhua even went down so the girls were still entertaining pa the crowd, mostly done by yuqi. They speak in ENGLISH by the way! Kaya ang saya kase no need for interpreters! Ramdam mo talaga yung effort nila to communicate with us 😭 tsaka hindi sila awkward pakinggan.

Next was Dumdi dumdi — party song kase kaya di ko na film lahat (esp. yuyeon’s fanservice). Ang ganda din ng choreo nila here pre chorus. Ang saya, super hyped yung crowd and i cant stop myself from dancing! I kept in jumoing nga sa spot ko kaya nainis siguro yung nasa paligid ko hahahahahaha im so sorry pero u need to enjoy the con guys! Learn how to enjoy the moment! As in THE MOMENT! Yung euphoria caused by the concert is unforgettable! Hindi man sila vivid memories but the feeling will stay in your heart i swear!

Last song before the costume change was Luv U, and another hyper song! Jusko party party mode lang talaga!

Moving on to the 2nd Quarter (yes… it’s that long!, basing on the costume change), eto yung most awaited ko kase eto yung I BURN phase. The holy trinity HANN (alone in winter), HANN and HWAA plus MOON jusko, eto yung dream kong mapanood from GIDLE. Tomboy era kasi ako talaga nag start mag hard stan and I think i really missed such a good era (IBURN ITRUST). And you know what’s the best part in this quarter? THE FUCKING MIC IS ON! Like the vocals are really loud compared sa previous, and mas na distinguish ko na sila kase i think nung una naninibago talaga ako sa actual voice nila huhu. The videos don’t even give justice sa live perf! You should definitely check and watch it upfront!

❤️‍🔥Just look at the fcking stage!❤️‍🔥

Moon final pose

One of my tiny regrets is hindi ko na film yung ALREADY and LIAR with their mic stands kase i was resting for HWAA kase sobrang sakit na ng arms ko, literal gusto ko ng sumuko that time! Pero thank you at may mga taong nakapag video ng better huhu i love u guys💗 TAPOS gusto kong umiyak, sa MOON putek ang tagal kong inantay to pati sa HWAA can i say one PUTANGINA? KASE NAMANNNNN SA YOUTUBE LANG YUN DATI TAPOS NGAYON LIVE NA HUHUHU. Definitely best part of the concert for me!

❤️‍🔥Before pala mag start sa HWAA, may another MENT sila, we were asked what song yung favorite namin. Yuqi asked us and she went near sa area namin. So I took off my mask and said “HWAAAAAAAA” and PUTANGINA i think we had a one on one moment Kase she mouthed HWAA din and i said okay (thumbs up) then she nodded and then sinabi nya sa mic HWAA! AHHHHH di ko na film pero sobrang vivid sa memory ko hindi talaga sya imagination huhuhuhu ILOVEYOU WOOGI! ❤️‍🔥 huhuhu

Tapos somewhere sa ment, they asked naman anong gusto namin iperform ni Minnie! (I think eto na yung solo perfs nila during ment), the crowd was shouting Dahlia minnie sang it. Tapos si Yuqi EDI SHEMPRE MAHAL TAYO NI LORD, SHE SANG A PORTION OF GIANT! AAAAAAAAH! jusko dreams come true talaga 😭😭😭 then miyeon sang Drive followed by Soyeon’s beam beam. Nag rap rap beat box pa nga si yuqi ayieeeee. Yun lang di nagperform si Shushu kaya medyo nanghinayang ako dun. Sobrang cute kase ng boses nya talaga. After Hwaa (di pa nga ako nakarecover) biglang LION NAMAN OMG! PUTEK WHEN I SAY MIC IS ON MIC IS FUCKING ON! Goosebumps especially sa high note ni Minnie! Grabe! Saludo ako sayo Kim Minnie!

(여자)아이들은 너무 사랑해요! 내일 하구 하루 하루가 정말 사랑할거에요~ 💗

We’re on the 3rd Quarter and there’s another VCR (same with earlier). Sinabi pala ni minnie before mag start sa HWAA na halfway na kami. IMAGINE HALFWAY PA LANG YON! at that poiint, mga 30% na lang energy ko. Feeling ko talaga susuko na ako gagu hahahaha. Buti na lang may katabi akong friend na lets me lean every single now and then grabe. Sumuko na nga yung isa naming friend kase sobrang suffocating and inet. Jusko.

Never stop me yung song GAGI lumapit sa amin si YUQI huhuhu best spot talaga side namin for fanservice ni Yuqi, glad i chose that spot 😭 sobrang hype na naman kami, party mode on ulet! Yung katabi kong si Yannie nahawa ako makipag party na lang all the way hahaha. Yung in ear din pala ni shuhua tumalsik!

Also, etong quarter na ‘to yung PARTY SONGS TALAGA oh literal di ako makasigaw kase i’m catching up for breath and sobrang ngalay na ang ate mo. Ginamit ko na din yung nevie bong ko hahaha kase hassle kanina eh. So ayun. Grabe yung sa UH OH lakas talaga ng dating as ever. And then MY BAG STARTED! YUNG ATE MO YUQI MAY PA PRACTICE NG PAG TWERK SA AUDIENCE! HAHAHAH NAPAKA HYPER TALAGA SIS!

My Bag practice with GIDLE and Nevies

Super lit nung performance. Again wasnt able to film to (and wasnt intending to in the first place) pero i just had to shoot the iconic twerks ng idle hahahah and my GIANT DOG moment with YUQI🖤 popstars was performed next and i took it as another chance to dance and jump (kaya nagkasprain ako gagu haha) but mostly, to recharge my arms strength sa filming ng SONG OF THE YEAR ‘TOMBOY’!

I’m gonna continue this blog on another post coz the mobile app had a 10photo cap and yeah, that suvks @tumblr!

Till then yeorobun! 💗

[iamnumeronine]

Annyeong 2021, Annyeong 2022!

2021 could be the year that i find the most challenging by far.

Physically, Spirtiually, Emotionally, but mostly, mentally.

Being stuck in a pandemic, it’s very hard to really be normal and enjoy the things you have before. The lack of access to concerts, to kpop events, and to your kpop friends makes it harder. Especially THE LACK OF CONTENTS FROM YOUR FAVORITE STAN GROUP. We have to get stuck with 4 solo songs for the whole year! What the fricking fuck! But having said that, i cannot say that i did not enjoyed this year.

Firstly, i won a fucking video fan meet with my fucking bias in BLACKPINK, ROSÉ! like, i never imagined i would have won this event! goddamn it, that’s the best thing, the closest thing i can get to my IDOLS. Because wtf, Rosé heard me stutter and blabble nonsense things BUT I DO NOT CARE, AS LONG AS I SAID TO HER THAT SHE IS SPECIAL! AND AS A BONUS SHE SANG A SONG TO ME! AHHHHH, IT FELT SURREAL UNTIL NOW. i could fucking rest now.

Also, i found a new stan group that i came to love, although im not as lucky as i am with rosé in their video fanmeets, i enjoyed stanning them beccause i am SO FED WITH CONTENTS AND MUSIC. And that group is called LOONA.

And with that, here’s my first bucket list for 2022:

1.  GO TO A FUCKING KPOP CONCERT OR EVENT

- although this is not yet clear given the fucking OMICRON VARIANT, i still have high hopes that this could happen towards the end of the year.

2. WIN A FANSIGN EVENT FOR LOONA

- need i say more?

3. Work out, earn a FLAT BELLY.

- i really have to take care of myself! I need to be sexy!

4. Make a jogging routine.

- i’m not getting any younger so I badly need to do this.

5. bleach my hair

- under or ombre, i dont care, as long as i achieve navy blue or pink!

6. Magka JOWA

- please lang, manifesting. Someone nice. 💕

7. WAX and Bleach HAHAHAHAHAH

- again…. Ykwim

Kidding aside, i’m so blessed this year i wouldn’t ask for anything more. But i just wanted to really have that peace of mind, from stress and unnecessary pressure in life. My new role is so challenging, i think i’m not meant for it. My anxiety is eating me up. But a friend told me that if you fear something, that means that you are about to grow. You just need to take a little courage (even the tiniest left in you) to take a leap and everything else will follow. I cannot remembered the exact words, but it really helped me realize that I can face any challenge in front of me.

And with that, i’m ready to face a new chapter of my life. For a better me, and better life.

[iamnumeronine]

210328  블랙핑크 로제 FANSIGN EVENT  - A DREAM COME TRUE for a Tita Fangirl

As a KPOP fan for 12 years, this is my first time joining a fansign event! What makes it special is the fact that I got in to the last wave of this fansigning event with my ULT BIAS IN BLACKPINK - ROSÉ!

Yes, you read it right. It’s Rosé from BLACKPINK! I pushed my luck at YGSELECT by buying last minute with a few albums only coz I didn’t have budget anymore. I just trusted the art of manifestation and then one night, i received an unexpected email at 10PM Midnight LIKE WTFFFFFFF, it says that i just fcking won the lottery for FANSIGNING!

The preparation was very short because it was just the day after tomorrow and i still got a lot of things to do. It’s so hard formulating the right questions or message because this is just a once in a lifetime opportunity and I don’t want to mess this up. I’ve thought of questions that they typically ask on a fansign event, but I don’t want it to be like something fulfilling other’s wishes or whatever because this is my chance and i deserve it so I planned to just say what i gotta say with her listening to me. Because no matter what i post on her Sns, she won’t read it. So for me, it’s best that she hears it first hand, i dont care if she forgets it but yeah, at least i let her know.

And so with that, I ended up creating my ‘script’ into 3 parts - my fluffy message (lots of praises yknow haha), a question about her current album, and a wish.

I think i revised this for so many times but i still didn’t perfect it during the call.

Anyways, so here comes D-DAY.

Can i just tell everyone that it is not as easy as it seems? The event is conducted with Ktown4u so even if I won under YGSELECT, the event is still hosted by KT4U. Which means, there are a total of 20 koreans, and 20 foreigners included on the event! Imagine rosie talking to all of us?! That’s tiring!

And that’s kinda the downside of it, korean fans are first in queue so i think i waited like for 3 hrs before I was able to talk to rosé 😭 i was also nervous at some point because i got kicked out of the room but apparently, they took a break and let us in again. I also didn’t notice that they messaged me that I’m next coz i cant see the notification for the DM BUT WHen it’s already my turn I got shook and pressed the recording of all the gadgets i have around me (well it’s the screen record only and not the slr and the voice because it was so fast). She surprised me!

And it started with just a few greetings and AHHHHHH im freaking out internally. But I can’t let it happen so i stayed focus on my speech hahahahah though i can clearly see she’s tired but yeah, i just gotta have to do it. And then the exciting part comes when i asked her “is there a particular event in her life that has inspired her in doing Gone?” I think she didn’t hear clearly what I said because she thought it was for “on the ground” so she answered “it’s my everyday” but i just got along with it and said “ohh, because it was so dramatic, like who hurt you?!” And then she was like kinda have a mini realization and said “ohhh are u talking abt gone?” And i said yes and sheEEE effin pulled the “it could mean a lot of things” card! Ikr she’s so sarcastic and i love it. That’s how i know her. Hahahahaahahah i love her for that.

Next part was i showed her my signed folklore album and said to her that if she still don’t have one then I’ll find a way to send it to her. Her reaction was priceless tho.

And this is where it went downhill for a bit because i was a stuttering mess but luckily she somehow got my question hahahaha. I asked her if she could sing a line from her favorite folklore song but the timer from the background was blasting and she didnt hear it clearly so she thooght i just asked “her favorite song” so she sang A GOOD 21-SEC of baby powder! Omg! Even if the time is beyond 2mins, she still stayed with me and wrote my favor on my album huhuhu. She is so sweet 😭😭😭😭😭

AND THAT’S IT FOR PAJAMNEWS!

Forgive my english i dont want to think anymore ahahahahah

sp_is_#OnTheGround_with_rosie on Twitter

“210328 ROSÉ 🌹 FANSIGN EVENT i asked her if there is a particular event in her life that has inspired her in making ‘Gone’ 😏 #ROSÉ #Gone

[chenny-chen]

Requested: Top 20 BLACKPINK Jennie/Lisa Fanfiction

Admin Note: First, I’d just like to say that this ship was SO difficult to find fics for. I can honestly say that I feel the pain of anyone who ships JenLisa and I give them my strength. FIGHTING! That said, I did find 20 decent ones:

Just A Game

Author: LilyLisa

Rating: R

Summary: Lisa thinks she saw Kim Jennie at the match. But this can’t be right. Jennie hangs out with the bullies. They hate the soccer team.

Important tags: This one is a high school au that deals with bullying and homophobia

Admin Note: This one is my personal favorite!!! (You’ve now converted me into a JenLisa shipper ^_^).

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A Little Something

Author: Wheesus

Rating: NC-17

Summary: A collection of drabbles because they don’t know what personal space is.

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Unholy

Author: bordersofstupidity

Rating: NC-17

Summary: He was gone. Lisa was standing right there.

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We’re Together As a Job

Author: jennie-ni

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: The story of two young women who got tangled into a situation where they have to be together….as a job.

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Honestly.

Admin Note: This one hasn’t been started yet, but it looks very promising.

Author: iMeeny

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: College JenLisa.

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Testing Your Limits

Author: unsungpoet

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Lisa and Jennie have been friends for years, but it wasn’t until Lisa started dating Rosé that Jennie found out about Lisa’s sexuality. After Jennie confesses her feelings for Lisa, Lisa wonders how far those feelings actually go. While Rosé is away and Lisa is feeling particularly lonely, she decides to test those limits and thinks heat up pretty quickly…

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I Have Two Bodies

Author: oneamthoughts

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Almost everything changed for Lisa. No, everything changed.

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Let’s Not Put a Label on It

Author: bordersofstupidity

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Lisa wasn’t supposed to like Jennie….but her heart had other plans.

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There for You

Author: bordersofstupidity

Rating: Not Rated

Important tags: Hurt/Comfort fluff

Summary: The JenLisa collection.

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Serendipity

Author: SecchanSakurazaki

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: The hate-to-love fic of JenLisa, because every ship needs to have one.

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Closer (Subscribe-Only)

Author: Lazyriceball

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: Pocky + JenLisa

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That Girl Named Lisa

Author: TaeloveJessi

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: Everything changed when Jennie bumped into Lisa.

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The Pink Collection (Subscribe-Only)

Author: ghostofthewind

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: A collection of non-smut drabbles and one-shots.

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The Black Collection (Subscribe-Only)

Author: ghostofthewind

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: A collection of smut-related drabbles and one-shots.

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Rich Society (Subscribe-Only)

Author: jennie-ni

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: Anything is possible when they have wealth and all the luck in life. They can hold the world with these assets but there’s a good side and a dark side to this society showered in richness. This is a story of two women sprinkled with wealth, two women with opposite personalities and lifestyles that are bound to tie a knot. This is a story of war between money and love.

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Only Once

Author: _kin18

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: All she thinks about is Jennie.

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If You Love Somebody

Author: myinspiration

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: After having come a long way to start a relationship, Jennie and Lisa were caught kissing by the paparazzi. With the photos going viral, they now face a choice: will they take their relationship to the next level or end things right there?

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Helter Skelter

Author: LilyLisa

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: Two years ago, Kim Jennie decided she would never work with a partner again. However, a certain agent from Bangkok wants to change that. Chaos ensues.

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All I Can Say is Sorry

Author: Jendeukie0327

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: I hope you can hear my voice while writing this. I am so in love with her and I want the whole world to know that. I am Jennie Kim. I am fierce and strong, that’s what the world says. But here I am pleading with you to forgive me for having a weak heart. I can’t keep it anymore. I think Lisa made me in love, or should I say, I can’t help but be in love.

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There’s More To Life Than Love

Author: blink1927

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: Lisa Manoban, an aspiring photographer, has been given an assignment by her professor to document this wonderful island called Jeju. She’s never been there and sees it as an opportunity. Jennie Kim, an entrepreneur, might help this photographer a bit.

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Why Must You Steal My Heart

Author: Lucy34ever

Rating: Not Rated

Summary: In which Jennie and Lisa are completely oblivious to each other’s feelings.

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[iamnumeronine]

FUCK OFF 2020, ANNYEONG 2021!

if you are here reading my blog entry, CONGRATULATIONS TO US! WE MADE IT ALIVE TILL THE END OF 2020!!!!!!!

It was one hell of a ride for all of us, definitely! From the taal eruption, numerous typhoons up to the covid pandemic, i never thought we could still survive with that. And that's why I am so thankful with our Lord Almighty he never left us down! Thank you so much because amidst the pandemic, we are still receiving a lot of blessings. I cant thank you enough Lord!

But most of all, thank you to my irl friends and kpop friend for if not because of you, my sanity wont be kept intact. Work was giving me a lot of stress, so aside from the financial support, it wasnt really giving me the happiness and fulfillment that i want to have. It really sucks. Please, give me a better opportunity this 2021. Huhu.

Going back, KPOP is really my saviour for this year, in every way possible. My kpop friends. Thank you so much for accomodating my rants and anything, thank you for being there, huhu i love you all!

And most importantly, thank you to SNSD and BLACKPINK!!!! AS IN!!!! SAGAD!!! YOU ARE MY TRUE SOURCE OF HAPPINESS AND EVERYTHING!!!!! I LOVE YOU KIM JISOO KIM JENNIE PARK CHAEYOUNG LALISA! L O V E LOVE!!!!! OT9 AND OT4 MY SAVIOUR!!!! WHOOOOOOO!

I MISS TRAVELLING! I WANNA GO TO KOREA SO BAD AND SPEND A MONTH THERE SHUTANGINA!!!!!

Hopefully, 2021 would be better for all of us!

I pray for everyone's safety and peace of mind!

Cheers to 2021!

#BYE2020 #HELLO2021

[iamnumeronine]

Fucking feel bad.

First, i wanna go home na not because i'm maarte but i really have to. I need to go to work by 7am. And the fact na they didnt know what responsibilities i have, it hurts me because iniisip lang nila nag iinarte ako. Truth is kailangan ko lang talaga and antok na din ako. I didnt drink that much because im driving home pa. I dont want to get into a car accident just like how my brother died. And they still dont get that. I dont voice out these thoughts because they wont understand.

So si ultimate crush asked me for a bit longer. So I stayed like until 1am, and got extended by 2am (whilst this guy keep on nagging me to not yawn and scratch my head but what the fck do i have to do, i'm tired and sleepy and i dont want to drink anymore coz im driving.) And they even called me out for taking home my other wine pero kase hindi naman nila iniinom, puro sila beer. Andyan naman yung wine. Damn, tapos pagbabayarin ako? Nagdala ako ng wine tapos ayaw nila then nung inuwi ko nagreklamo at gusto mag ambag ako sa maki? Puta naman. Point is, sabi nila pledge. I dont get it. And to think na i didnt drink that much beer, tama naman diba? Whatever, it's so offending.

I stayed because she asked me to. She kept on saying na this maybe the last time na na we will meet kasi she's going sa province na and thats totally fine with me, maybe she has a point. And also, i wanted to stay din because of her. I want to cherish the remaining time i have with her. My feelings for her were genuine and there's this part of me that doesnt want to really accept the fact na we wont be seeing each other that much na talaga. But it's the total opposite, because this guy keeps on irritating me or calling me out for the stuff that i normally do. And they are making fun pa of my feelings for her.

I treasure that because those were valid and were precious to me. I have loved her from afar for a very very long time and i didnt admit this to anyone but myself. But why does this guy act that all of it was a joke, and I was merely doing it just because i hate him? Dude wtf. Is he fcking jealous? I love her but that's only for me, and im not in anyway wanted to like pursue it or whatever coz im not that dumb. Whatever feelings that i have for her is only for me and i do not wish to let anyone know it also because i dont know wjat it is realy. All i kniw is she is important and special in my life. You guys doesn't know the impact of her presence or her simple care made me cheer up or even made me smile for a day. You just dont know that.

[petalsfor1980s-packs]

// Jodie Comer Wallpapers //

♡like/reblog if you saved

[iamnumeronine]

2020 cruzhes

Here we go again, u already know na why im writing here kase i cant really tell this yet to anybody, not ready for their judgements.

Early this year, i had a major major crush on a fellow sone and daaaaaamn im pretty sure it would go onto greater heights if not because of COVID!!!! LIKE POTAAAAAA well,gonna discuss this further on another post tho.

My current dillema now is... i have a new crush. Well sige, admit ko na masyado akong (shet i forgot the term), but i was putting so much thought about it i cant even stop thinking about it. YES, I AM RUMINATING hence, the intense feeling of being attracted to her.

So what's my point? The deal kase is she is my tele friend din (same circle with the other tele friend ive mentioned on my older post) and idk if nafefeel ko lang to dahil sa quarantine mode, na i was just looking for someone to talk to. And i dont wanna like...entertain this feeling or explore it further because i know na I'm waaaaaay out of league for her. But when there are times na pumapatol sya sa mga pang haharot ko, i cant remove the fact na i was kinda hoping na she feels positive about it. There are times nga na u can feel the tension like FCK "girlie can I say I like you like for real?", and i chicken out kase i dont wanna make her feel awkward or uncomfortable.

She is a constant playmate in a mobile game then we do voice chat there. It almost becomes a habit na it came to a point na i miss talking to her agad or when i hear her voice i feel so soft or weak na ewan i cant explain tho. But i know for sure, i always like to listen when she talks. Or when she tells a story. Kase for me, it's like a breath of fresh air, i get to hear her stories na outside topics about my work. When im talking to her, it feels like im in a different world, full of artistry and being yourself. We're not talking about machines, or technical stuff but we're talking about LIFE and it makes me feel ALIVE.

I do not intend naman to pursue it romantically or whatsoever coz i know invested sya sa ibang tao but i would like to be her friend, as in real friend not just a virtual eme or something.

Yun lang, sige na lalaro pa kami.

Hahahahahaha

[iamnumeronine]

I will not say it

I will not say it, coz if I do then I mf admit it that I... yeah. I have already told myself not to get attached but, it was so easy with her. It was so easy to tell everything to her, like if i had the chance to spill my guts then I would have done it with her without 2nd thoughts. I even dreamt about us, ffs. I knew it, i saw it coming. And before i am, once again, at that point, i am stopping myself of getting drawn further. And I felt that she's doing the same thing. She's so dry like a few days ago, and even today, just because I told her I was talking to someone abt the topic we always talked abt. Is she like...jealous? I mean, she shouldn't be or was I just making things up?

It's not that i'm not complaining, it's just that...well. yeah. I have to ditch this idea and burn it into ashes, like it never existed. Maybe, if i was younger, i would have confronted her but it's different now. I couldn't risk our friendship over this illogical feelings.

But yeah, i wanna be a softie to her but everytime I was about to do that, she kinda sensed it and stepped backwards. So i'll just do it here to not freak her out.

To my tele constant,

I just wanna say thank you for just being there, for the most part of 2019. Even if we just met once (in a concert), it was so easy to talk to you, like I've known you for a long time. Thank you for bearing with my nonsensical rants, about work, kpop, or anything about life. Honestly, it was easier confiding to you than to my friends irl. I apologize for ignoring you at times because I admit, i'm a too preoccupied person, there's a lot on my plate and i have a short attention span so when I just give you a "seen" tag, i didnt mean it and i'm sorry.

Thank you for staying with me through the night, even if one of us gets to sleep earlier because we talked so late at night about our fave topic 🤣 and the first thing that i'll see when I wake up is your dms which is a good boost for me. Believe me, i always wait for your DMs coz one, it's a scoop abt our redacted couple, and two, it just lifts me out of my current boring life. No matter what topic you are telling me.

Also, you are my best playing buddy. I never asked at all but you kept on sending me tutorial videos (which i rarely watch on) so i can play better and rank higher. I really appreciate it, man. I also love it when we suddenly tell each other random stuff, like taking tootbrushes, going to the bathroom, having our own meal, etc etc, those simple stuff are cute. It makes me feel like we are really close and you are a genuine friend.

There's a lot of stuff that i wanna say but yeah i'm just gonna end it right here. Well, thank you for existing. Thank you for being a part of my life and i hope that continues on the ff years coz I need people like you. People who makes me feel or make me stay grounded.

This year is quite a challenge for me, emotionally and mentally. Quite a few times thought of like...taking the equilibrium but with people like you, you make me think twice.

I'm really bummed that I wont be sending this to you but i hope someday, you gonna come across this page and know how much I am grateful to meet such a wonderful friend like you.

Thank you, L.

💞

[iamnumeronine]

BP in Seoul PS PART 1

(092119)

(b)

Never in my whole kpop life that I have imagined to attend a PRIVATE STAGE event in Seoul for BLACKPINK and take note...2 SHOWS!!! Since I was sooooo impulsive, i bought my 2nd show ticket 3x higher than the original (coz i still have to pick it up from Busan) . I also should have chosen a better seat for my first one COZ I FUCKING THOUGHT it was already sold out but nooooooo it's not so yeah, next time, i need to do better.

The show starts with the BLAZING intro (just like in summer sonic so i thought they'll perform D4) and then they came OUT like FUCKKKK they were wearing their old school outfit (girl crush concept) and sang acoustic version of WHISTLE 💞. Rosie even said that they are "throwback blackpink" (pertaining to their outfits).

And then after that, SHIN YOUNG came in and MAAAAN they did a variety-ish sort of activity for usssss. It feels like i'm watching weekly idol live 🤣 as a warm up game, they will try to guess the title of the song by drawing the keywords by each member. First one to guess was Jennie (as chosen by the crowd), she was so cute and asked the audience "why meeee?" ㅋㅋㅋㅋ then the 1st word was Playing with Fire and Jennie got it right. She was even making fun of Jisoo's "halmeoni" 🤣 next one to guess was lisa (as nominated by Jennie) and she got it right as well (D4 was the song). She said that the "sageori" made it her guess the right answer as drawn by chaeng. Jennie just drew some scribbles ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Next game was the BQ TEST (blink quotient) to check BP's compatibility and connection with each other and with the BLINKs as well. They were first paired thru the crowds voting. I highkey wished that it was JenLisa vs ChaeSoo but ChaeNnie vs Lisoo won. Lisa was so happy while Jisoo was dying already HAHAHAHAHA then ChaeSoo hubby and wifey couple came finally to reality. Idk if this was in the first session or 2nd but i think Lisa was explaining beforehand that if maknae and dongsaeng (which she corrected immediately) if maknaes vs unnies will happen, it's no fun, then if it's lisoo then she would be really happy because she has an unnie to rely on but I FUCKING FORGOT what she said about her and Jennie (it' s something funny as well).

First portion of the BQ test was to check if the pairing's answer is the same with the Blinks' choice. ChaeSoo got more same answers with the blinks compared to the crackhead duo Lisoo. They were so funny I swear!!! LiSoo was even bickering for having the wrong answers hahahah.

Next is the communication and chemistry game AKA whisper game. THIS IS THE PART THAT I ENJOYED THE MOST ISTG. First pair to guess was LiSoo. Jisoo was the one to guess because as per Jisoo, Lisa might not know the words in Korean (but then after that lisa said she wants to be the one guessing, hahaha). First word was PPYONGBYONG and motherfucking hell LISOO WAS FUNNY as in!!!! Lisa kept on saying ppyongbyong (she thought jisoo got it but no) and Jisoo just answered "PPOPPO??? KISSEU? PPOPPO?" HAHAHAH (i lowkey noticed rosie poke jennie upon the mention of ppooppo, hmmmm hahaha). They ended up passing up to the next word which was guessed correctly by Jisoo (Camera and Joohwangie). Last word was chocolate but they already ran out of time.

[iamnumeronine]

BP in SEOUL experience (20-21 SEP 19) - part 1

Aaaaaaaaah, it's so surreal for meeeeeee!! I have 2 items checked out of my kpop fangirl life bucket list - (a) stalk BP in Seoul, (b) watch an event of BP in Seoul.

(a)

BLACKPINK has a scheduled fanmeeting in Paradise City last Sept 20 and this was an exclusive event for the korean and jap blinks (official fanclub). So we were just left with the option to just wait for them outside. I went from Seoul back to Incheon, still unsure if i will be able to enter Paradise City or Not. Good thing that I tweeted abt me going to the venue, a Filo Blink saw it and asked me to go with them. She was with a French Blink! When I came in they were really friendly that's why we clicked in right away. My French Blink, Jennie (yes i know!) told us to go to the parking lot but then, me and dan (filo blink) were hesitant to go because we're afraid that we might get kicked out or blacklisted for the event tomorrow. But thanks to Jennie, she was so braved and even talk to one of the body guards out there if we can stay. Though the BG doesnt totally understand what we said, he still didnt throw us away. She even wrote "OT4 BLACKPINK" on her french flag, while us wrote "jenchulichaeng, see u tmrw, from iblinkz"

We were hesistant at first if this is really the place we should wait but the CAR jisoo used at the Cartier event was here, the manager oppas were here as well. They keep walking to and fro past us but they just let us stay. Jennie even asked one of the BG but he just smiled and pretended that he didnt understand us.

THEN someone was already coming and it was CHAENG!!! I LIFTED MY CAM BUT MANAGE OPPA flashed his light on me and stopped us but we came close and I shouted ROSIEEEEE AND LISAAAA! I SAW ROSÉ'S FOREHEAD AND SHE WAVED HER HAND ON TOP OF THE CAR BEFORE LISA CAME IN BEHIND FROM HER. I SHOUTED LISA"S namme and she was like very smiley and waving for like 5 seconds before going in the car. My friend saw chaelisa waving from the inside (tinted car) so i danced in front of them (of the car) and waved even.if indont see them. Shouted my lungs all out! After that the manager oppa went near to us and said that we can stay but we cannot take pictures so we just stood.there. Then JENSoo came and waaaaaaah i died at jennie. She was stoic and oretty! I just saw her side profile, she entered the car soooooo fast. I just shouted her name and saranghae!! Then Jisoo!!! Like lisa, she was all.smiley and waved to us for.like 5 seconds before going in! She's so pretty!!! Like lisa!!! And the funny thing is, the backdoor compartment was lifted so i peeked down to see them THEN JISOO ALSO PEEKED DOWN and waved at ME!!! My fucking heart!!! I shouted nyongan and jisoo saranghae WTF i was the only one shouting coherently because my friends were so stunned by them!!!!

That was the closest encounter i ever had with OT4 Blackpink!!!!

WE WERE SO HAPPY WE COULDNT CONTAIN OUR HAPPINESSS 😭😭😭 I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!

[jisooq-deactivated20201205]

190923 airport for Saint Laurent fashion week 

[jisooq-deactivated20201205]

Lisa X Rangnarok M 

[iamnumeronine]

BLACKPINK IN OUR F*CKING AREA

FEBRUARY 2, 2019

This is the day when I met my babiessss, BLACKPINK!!! I DIED A LOT OF TIMES IN THIS CONCERT LIKE...THIS IS MY 1000TH LIFE ALREADY!!!!

First things first, the night before the con was very exhausting. I was lurking on twitter just because of that incident at the airport where those airport freaks mobbed the girls!!! I mean, WHAT ARE THEY EVEN THINKING?! It just gave me alot of stress knowing that BP is already IN PH!!!

So D-Day, yeah! Ah yeah ah yeah!!! I went to the venue around 10am to settle some stuff and of course, to check and collect the banners,thsirts etc. Grabe pagdating ko palang sa venue FUCKKKKK ETO NA BLACKPINK NA TALAGA!Ang daming tao sobra! The path going to the coral way entrance was a disaster!!!! I was even pushed to a filthy guy ughhhh TANGINA but yeah it doesnt matter kase wala naman syang mapapala hahahaha

So ayun, the day goes on and ETO NA SOUNDCHECK NAAAAA! bawal daw ang cam so i thought sige na okay lang at least let's just enjoy the moment with the girls. But hell yeah!!! When they came out FUCKKKKKKKKKKK as In TANGINA!!! ang gaganda nila! SAME NA SAME SA PICTURE! WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET TALAGA! Jisoo is very pretty!!!! As in LEGIT PRETTY!!!! Jennie is so HIGH END i love her bitchy aura but HELL BROKE LOOSE SHE LOOKED AT ME! WE HAD A MOMENT! SHE LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND SMILED TIMIDLY AT MEEEEE LIKE.FUCKING HOLY SHIT!!!! and yes mukha akong aso kaway ng kaway muntik pa kong sumubsob sa barricade HAHAAHHAAHAHAH PAKSHET TLAGA!!! CHAENG and LISA were on the left side so less interaction BUT WHEN NUNG LUMAPIT SILA PUTANGINA ANG GANDA TALAGAAAAAAA tapos harutan pa more chaelisa no? Pati lisoo? Kaya pala wala pa sa mood si jennie nun, nagiipon ng lakas ng loob HAHAHAHAAH

Pucha it really felt surreal to see them upclose and hear them live OH MY GOD like HOLY SHITE they are so pretty and cool and sexy and HOT!!! FUCK LAHAT NA!

So they sang KAMU, SO HOT, AND PWF during the soundcheck. Ang saya lang kasi live na live talaga tapos si jisoo huhuhu more interaction din sa amin.😭 i love them so much! Tapos legit ang ganda ng live voice nila lalo na ni rosé and jennie KAKALOKAAAA..

Then during PWF, i saw jennie going to the leftmost part of the stage SO I RAN TOWARDS HER I ALMOST GOT TRIPPED OFF BUT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT COZ JENNIE FUCKING KIM LOOKED ME IN THE EYE! SHE RAISED HER BROWS AND ACKNOWLEDGED MY PRESENCE even if i looked liked a crazy bitch wailing and waving at her HUHUHUHU JENNIE YAH!!!!Jisoo went on the same side of the stage and she was all smiles and laughters! She's really pretty!!! 100%legit! Jennie is pretty too they're not wearing makeup tho. I see jennie's moist face ON THE SCREEN LIKE IT'S THE GOOD KIND OF PERSPIRING FACE she's so pretty. Lisa is ONE HELLA PRETTY PRINCESS AS WELL COZ HER LOCKS ARE SO DAMN LONG AND BEAUTIFUL!!! PLUS ROSIE!!! ang ganda nya din putaaaaaa tho less kasi sya punta sa side namin so less titig din ako sa kanya. She's my bias pa naman :( but all in all, the soundcheck experience was all worth it.

Then concert proper, never thought that it would be hard as hell to stand within the crowd and maintain or even move forward from your spot! The struggle is real! Once the crowd gets wild, i cannot see the girls on stage coz hell! All the phones and lightsticks are blockimg my view plus the constant pushing and pulling from evwryone! My hands and arms are so tired from taking videos. I should have taken photos.only and enjoyed the concert but...nah, lesson learned. Hahahaha. BUT WHEN THEY CAME TO THE 2ND STAGE,WALA NA WALWALAN NA NAMAN SOBRANG NAKAKAPRANING IDK WHAT EVEN DO I HAVE TO DO, TO TAKE A PIC OR VIDEO???? Hahaahahaha

Favorite performances on the show? ALL!!! But my most anticipated performances (coz i really dreamt of watching it live and now my wishes just came true) were BOOMBAYAH, D4 and AIIYL!!! PLUS 16SHOTS!!! GADDAMIT!!! I was lucky to get a clear fancam of these perf so no regrets on that. The only regret I had is that I wasnt able to record the encore of STAY and PWF (coz it was already sang in encor3, i thought).

HAPPY CHAENG BTW🇰🇷👇

[iamnumeronine]

Annyeong 2018, Annyeong 2019

I’ve been thinking for quite a while if I should write a ‘2018 Year End Review’ of my life, just what like other people do. Honestly, I’ve lost my interest to do so - well, my passion for writing has dwindled down because for one, I was so BUSY, and also LAZY. But if I were to compare this year to all the years that I have lived (chos!), this could be, by far, the most interesting and yet emotionally draining year for me. I thought that the saddest part of my life was when my brother died, but I was wrong. Each and every day just gets sadder and sadder, like no matter how hard you tried to be happy, nothing can fill in the void. How does it really feel to be really happy? Yes, you laugh at their silly jokes or at the memes that you saw on the internet, but laughing is a whole lot different thing from being happy. People judge you from your history - of course, that’s how life works. As if you don’t have the right to feel sad at all - they continuously invalidate your feelings just because you’re judged as being “nag-iinarte”; or they think that they know better and are wiser than you. And then, you’ll be judged again when you retaliate because your opinions don’t matter and it doesn’t makes sense to them. Because they don’t understand you and they will never will. Thus, my lack of interest to argue or even speak up for myself.  And because i’m too lazy to even write what’s on my thoughts, imma just list down the remarkable things that happened this year. This year really tried hard to be a meaningful one so I’m not gonna disregard the good ones. 

January - my sister’s birthday and yeah, first time to get my 14th month pay whooops! then unang gala for the Year at sagada. I survived the traverse canyoneering

February - hottest and wildest birthday so far; don’t ask me why XD

March - my brother’s birthday

April -nothing much

May - birthday of my parents, then na-hook ulit ako sa fanfics dahil sa GaWong lols; and FUCKING SHIT NAGSTART NA NAMAN AKO SA KPOP

Jun - Kota Kinabalu trip; enjoyed it except sa breakdown moment (don’t mention it); BLACKPINK HAPPENED!!!! kPOP in me is SHAKINGGGGG

July  - busiest month tho mostly dahil sa work (well all year round busy dahil sa work) and pagfafangirl

August - went to Cebu with girling for work

September - Taiwan trip with Family <3 i enjoyed it especially those moments when I hang with my sister. I miss her so much. She’s the only one who can understand my kpop cravings

Oct - busy with fangirling; MOP benchmarking happened

Nov - busy with business and fangirling; Sharam happened

December - BUSIEST MONTH;’s  TAEYEON CONCERT HAPPENED HOLY SHIT MY ONLY REASON TO BE HAPPY; House Blessing (salamat at nairaos din); Christmas party with friends; naging instant fansite masternim haha

and that’s it. only thing that matters to me is my family. i love them so much. and of course, kpop. i really owe a part of my life to kpop since it really helped my to divert my attention instead of ruminating on those ‘things’. I don’t know what will I do if not for SNSD and BLACKPINK of course. Kahit masakit sa bulsa, I don’t care. All I know is time is precious and you could bring back all the lost time. So take advantage of it while you still have it.

[iamnumeronine]

these days

“Yeah I know it ain’t pretty, when two hearts get broke”

Hi M. 

Siguro you still wonder, why after all these times, I’m still affected by you. I, myself, also wonder why am I so affected when it comes to you. I promised to myself I would not think about you, or even care for you. But hell, I still can’t get you out of my mind. I wanna forget you, I wanna forget everything na we’ve done together or shared together (if there are any) but everytime I try to do so, I miserably fail at it. How can I forget you if we work at the same place, I work with you, we have common friends and all. So I chose to just ignore you. But even that, ang hirap pa din. It’s just so hard to ignore your presence. Yes, you still have that same effect when you are at the QA Lab. Deep inside me, there’s a tiny hope that you would notice my presence and look at me. And during those times that our eyes would meet no matter how hard I try to avoid you, you still have this effect on me - my heart jumps and twitches at the same time. I’m both happy and sad whenever I see you. Why? Every time I look at you, I can see how much potential we have IF EVER you feel the same way about me. You know I am very much capable of “loving you”, and if given the chance, I will really do my best to take care of you. You’re that “someone” I wanna know better, someone whom I’ll enjoy their mere presence, and someone who I can be comfortable with. Again, your mere presence makes my heart giddy. However, at the same time, seeing you makes me feel sad. I didn’t expect that we have to end it this way. I did not just lost the person whom I “loved”, but I also lost a friend. We have a lot of things that I think that we like together. We used to sing the same songs; we used to laugh at the same jokes; we used to talked about the series we loved watching; we used to hug and smile at each other. But now, it’s all gone, in just a single snap.

“Too young to feel this old Watching us both turn cold Oh, I know it ain't pretty When two hearts get broke “

I know naman you like somebody else. And I’m not gonna push myself anymore. Especially right now na you unfollowed me on my social media accounts (IG/ Twitter). I unfriended you sa facebook because I know that’s the next thing you’ll do. I’m just saving myself from another heartbreak. Big deal? Of course it’s a big deal for me. That just proves na you don’t want to see or hear anything from me. I annoy you. You hate me. That’s it. Enough of my bullshits. You’re tired of seeing my posts, my tweets, my stories that is all about you. Yes, it’s all about you. Because I wanna talk to you, properly, but you never gave me a chance. You never gave me chance. I tried to reach out, I tried to be casual to you but you shrugged it off and pushed me away. Do you know how hard it is not to talk to you? Everytime na magkakasalubong tayo sa hallway, sa QA Lab, yung mga moments na bigla tayong muntikan nang magbanggaan sa daan, like I said earlier, those moments na nagkakatinginan tayo, ang sakit. Ang sakit na iniiwasan mo ako. There was a point na I almost texted you, I will ask sana if we can talk pero I know you wouldn’t reply naman. You never replied at all. 

“Calling me when I'm drunk, remind me of what I've done And I know it ain't pretty when you're trying to move on, yeah “

Sorry nga pala sa mga drunk texts ko. It’s the only way I can get your attention. It really hurts me. I’m so hurt. Hindi ko alam bakit sobrang affected ako eh wala naman tayong interaction diba? haha. Weird. So weird. Bakit ba ako na-hook sayo eh hindi naman tayo magkasama araw araw unlike ni migel diba? Hay, kung alam ko lang din yung sagot edi sana hindi ako nagtatype ngayon ng rants. Btw, I dream a lot about you. And in those dreams, sobrang kabaligtaran sa reality. For one, you were so clingy to me in one of my dreams. You’re always the first one to go near me, and push yourself just to be near with me. I’m the one whose pushing you away. I even looked annoyed at you one time when you came close to me, and you shot those “pabebe” eyes. Hayyyy, mga moments na naiisip mong bakit pa ‘ko nagising.

Ayun, so wala na siguro talagang pag asa no? Kahit maging friends? I highly doubt it. SIguro kaya lang din ako hindi matahimik kasi wala tayong closure. That night na binasted mo ako for the 2nd time. Di naman tayo nakapagusap ng matino since then eh. Nagtext ka sabi mo you’re hoping na there would be another chance. Di ka naman nag-initiate to fix us eh. Ikaw naman yung nagtaboy, hindi ba? Ako pa rin ba dapat yung makikipagayos? As much as I want to be friends with you again, I can’t be the one who starts it. It would just bring a lot of questions, chismis, intrigues, and embarrassment for you. Well yes, tama naman diba? That’s the chapter of your life you’re so embarrassed you wanna forget it like poof! Sabi mo nga daw, it’s just a phase. And I’m a fool naman to believe na you know, baka naman, baka naman pwede.

“I know you moved onto someone new Hope life is beautiful You were the light for me to find my truth I just wanna say, thank you

I think this is the ending of our story. If you can’t give me the closure that I’m asking then I would just make my own. Ganun naman talaga from the start, ako lang. Maybe, we are just two parallel lines not meant to meet halfway. We’ll just pass on each other’s lives like nothing happened.

I hope someday We'll sit down together And laugh with each other About these days, these days All our troubles We'll lay to rest And we'll wish we could come back to these days, these days”