Been there, blogged that.

I love when I write because somehow I’m at peace - I look I’m in my happiest. I am Shelloi

[iamshelloi]

Letter to Myself

Dear Self,

Today, I feel tired. Marriage has been heavy on my shoulders. He is a good man and a loving father, but when it comes to being a provider, I have carried the weight alone. Since the beginning, finances have been a challenge, and I’ve never felt his support in that area. I know I’ve tried to understand, to be patient, to fix things — but I am exhausted. I wonder if love is still alive, or if what remains is pity. And pity is not enough to sustain me.

Work, too, feels draining. I’m not sure if I am still happy where I am. My mind is preoccupied, my energy stretched thin, and my heart questions whether this is where I truly belong.

But dear Self, I want you to remember: your feelings are valid. Your exhaustion is real. And your longing for support, peace, and fulfillment is not selfish — it is necessary. You deserve balance, love that uplifts, and work that nourishes instead of drains.

So tonight, I ask God to guide me. To give me clarity in my marriage, courage in my choices, and peace in my heart. I may not have all the answers yet, but I trust that step by step, I will find the way.

With love and honesty,

Me

[iamshelloi]

Hi,

I want to share with you what’s been weighing on my heart. I know you are a good man and a wonderful father, and I will always acknowledge that. But as your wife, I feel exhausted. From the very beginning, I’ve carried the financial responsibilities alone, and it has been a constant challenge. I need you to understand how heavy that feels for me.

You are present as a father, but as a husband, I often feel unsupported. People tell me I should keep understanding, since I’ve always been the one who understands most. But until when? I want to fix things, but I am too tired. Sometimes I wonder if love is still there, or if what remains is pity — and pity is not enough to sustain a marriage.

I’m not saying this to hurt you, but because I want us to face the truth together. I need a partner who stands beside me, not just in words but in actions. I need us to talk about how we can share the weight — emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

I still hope for us, but I need change. I need support. I need to feel that I am not alone in this journey.

From,

Hello

[iamshelloi]

Today’s Thoughts:

Marriage and Work

On Marriage I am tired. Truly exhausted. My husband is a good man, and a loving father — but when it comes to being a provider, I’ve always felt the weight of carrying the financial load alone. Since the beginning, he has never supported me financially, and that challenge has been constant.

He is present as a father, but not as a supportive husband. People often tell me, “You have to understand, since you’re the one who understands most.” But until when? How long do I keep stretching my patience, my strength, my love?

I want to fix things, but I’m too tired. I don’t even know if love is still there, or if what remains is pity. It hurts to admit that, but it’s the truth echoing in my heart.

On Work Then there’s my job. I don’t know if I’m still happy where I am. It feels draining — mentally, emotionally. I’m so preoccupied, juggling responsibilities, yet questioning if this is where I truly belong.

On Life and Faith And so I ask, What should I do, God? I’ve carried these questions silently, but today I let them spill out. I pray for clarity, for strength, for direction. I pray for peace in my marriage, fulfillment in my work, and courage to face whatever lies ahead.

[dailyeffectiveprayer]

Don’t lose heart. God knows how to turn painful chapters into testimonies that remind you of His faithfulness.

[voiceforjesus]

[kosmogrl]

[kosmogrl]

and it will be better 🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

[hopecorediva]

reminder to breathe

[believee]

You’re all special ✨

[thoughtkick]

“Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment.”

— Unknown

[iamshelloi]

[vexheart]

This

[symfco]

-١١

[iamshelloi]

[ninoxo]

@ninotbh

[iamshelloi]

I feel weighed down today—sad, empty, and without the energy or spark I usually carry. Work no longer excites me; the thought of going in feels heavy rather than motivating. Even in my personal life, I’m uncertain—unsure of what I want, how I feel, or where I’m headed. It’s as if the things that once gave me joy or purpose have dulled, leaving me restless and disconnected. I’m caught between wanting change and not knowing what that change should be, and that uncertainty adds to the emptiness I’m carrying.

[iamshelloi]

Lately, I’ve been carrying a weight that feels heavier each day. Work has drained me—endless tasks, deadlines, and responsibilities that seem to multiply no matter how hard I try to keep up. And just when I thought I could manage, personal struggles came crashing in, adding another layer of exhaustion.

I find myself whispering prayers at night, asking for a miracle. Especially in finances. I dream of the day when I no longer have to drag myself to work just to survive. "Sana magmilagro". Sana may dumating na sagot sa lahat ng pagod, lahat ng luha, lahat ng sakripisyo.

But even in this season of weariness, I hold on to faith. I remind myself that miracles don’t always arrive in grand gestures—they sometimes come in small mercies: a kind word, a moment of rest, a smile from family, or the strength to get through one more day.

I don’t know when the breakthrough will come, but I continue to pray. I continue to hope. And I continue to believe that this exhaustion will one day be replaced by peace, stability, and joy.

For now, I write these words as both confession and prayer:

That my tired heart may find rest.

That my weary soul may find light.

That my prayers may finally meet their miracle.

[iamshelloi]

Whenever things feel heavy, I find myself opening Tumblr. I’ve been here for more than a decade, and yet it’s still the place I return to whenever I have thoughts I can’t share with anyone else.

Nothing much—just sharing, hoping that maybe it lightens the weight inside.

[iamshelloi]

January 2nd—you made me cry.

Why is it so easy for you to say “ikaw muna” because I haven’t even recovered yet? Have you ever thought, how about me? It feels like it’s effortless for you to say those words, while I’m here holding back, but everything has its limits.

I try to understand, I try to be patient—but patience also has an end. I’m already at my breaking point. It would have been fine if I had more than enough to give, but hey—your the father, the man. It should be you leading us.

I’ve tried to stay calm, to understand everything, but I’ve endured for so long. My silence doesn’t mean I’m okay—it means I’ve been carrying too much, waiting for you to step up.

Do you even see me? I’m a wife struggling every single day—emotionally drained, financially burdened, tired of carrying the weight of everything about you. I’m exhausted from trying to hold this family together while you let go. I’m tired of crying in silence, tired of pretending I’m strong when inside I’m breaking.

I am weary of the endless sacrifices, of stretching myself thin just to make ends meet, while you act as if it’s easy to walk away from responsibility. I am tired of being the one who absorbs the pain, the stress, the sleepless nights, while you choose comfort over accountability.

You don’t realize how heavy it is to smile when my heart is aching, to keep moving when my body is tired, to keep believing when my hope is fading. I’ve carried the emotional scars, the financial struggles, the loneliness of feeling like I’m fighting this battle alone.

I wanted a partner, a leader, someone who would stand beside me. Instead, I feel abandoned in my own marriage—left to pick up the pieces while you turn away. I am tired of everything about you—the broken promises, the lack of effort, the way you make me feel invisible.

Tired of you!