I Am Unriven

Never give in. You Matter.

[iamunriven]

Grit and Grace

When will it get easier? Is there a time and space where I can walk with my ahoulders back, my head up, and enforce boundaries? Will I ever be so bold as to honestly not give a fuck what anyone thinks of me? Of my past? Some days, I feel the stronger woman. Others, I am the quiet, meek, slouched over girl, who is drowning in depression. Where do we meet in the middle?

[iamunriven]

The Still

I want to be still A place Where all I can hear… Feel…. Breathe… Is a state of nothingness. A place where I am not consumed By the constant movement That comes with daily life Pressing pause Is a journey within itself And tonight, I pray for peace From it all.

[iamunriven]

Smile

Isn’t it so odd How you can get used to things being hard? Where any form of light feels Foreign? I sit here in the midst of excitement, Waiting on the other shoe to drop How long will this last? Will something bad follow? If you find yourself in this gray zone, Press pause. Tell your mind to cease It’s ok to enjoy the moments, exactly as they are One thing at a time One moment One…

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[iamunriven]

Folded Flags

It’s that time of year again. Folded flags take up my feed Reminding us all That there is a price For freedom I feel the darkness creep in I feel the cold ice up my veins I’m forever proud of your service But I can’t help wonder If without it You’d still be here Maybe that day I never would have been Presented a folded flag.

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[iamunriven]

The Insomnia Bug

Milestones. They matter. Tonight, she lost her first tooth. I stood there, in the bathroom, and time froze. This small, white object suddenly gained 100 pounds. You should be here. This smiley, squealing, beautiful little girl stood before me, So full of life. So full of wonder. You should be here. You didn’t realize how much she would need you. You didn’t consider the impossible void…

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[iamunriven]

Janaury 31

From the first picture I ever saw of you, to the last one I ever took- I realize that I love you now as much as I did back then. All of the times inbetween flash before me. You made me. You changed me. You’re still one of the biggest parts of who I am. Today, I hate January 31st.Every year, it serves as my constant reminder of how real your pain was. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you, love. I get…

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[iamunriven]

Hindsight is a Bit**

It’s not a pretty realization So why try to cover it? Hindsight is a bitch And she haunts me, to this day I wish I had known. Sometimes I feel like I should have known. Your last day was my first Where deep pain took over I miss you. I wish I had known.

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[iamunriven]

Balance.

Life is a balance. It requires both darkness and light.It isn’t always going to be positive.It isn’t supposed to be. And the sooner we begin to accept that- the sooner we can look our darkness in the face and embrace it.Tame it.When it gets dark- focus on the light. And if it isn’t there- remember who you can call.Today, I’m thankful for kind friends who show up ❤️Create the light. #positivity

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[iamunriven]

The night before she was born

What an incredibly powerful quote to force a pause on a night that has brought me waves of mixed emotions over the years. 6 years ago, we were laying in bed, excited beyond words to become parents the next morning. Our bags were packed. Her room was ready.It was finally time. In all of our relationship, we had never been so happy and excited for the future. I had no clue that 16 days later, I…

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[iamunriven]

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[iamunriven]

Life is about the moments. That's easy to say, when the moments are bright. ...so what about when they are dark? ...how do you navigate finding light? You create it. You MAKE the time to feel. You TAKE the time to pause the chaos. Taking a mental health day should be normalized. We all face darkness. It's what we do with it that matters. Use code LIVE20 at @ninelineapparel to support @fight_the_war_within #end22 #ptsd #advocate #mentalhealth #ninelineapparel #relentlesslypatriotic https://www.instagram.com/p/CpBEthHv390/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[iamunriven]

5 years ago today, I was presented a flag. I remember feeling completely frozen, in that moment. A wave of emotions flooded me. Anger. Rage. Confusion. Pain. Today, I believe it was the moment that pushed the mission to never forget you. And love, we haven't. #end22aday #fightthewarwithin #youmatter #ptsd https://www.instagram.com/p/Coe2u9vrVVv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[iamunriven]

Damn, Valhalla's so much farther

Than I ever thought it'd be

I'll be missing you forever

I wonder if you're missing me

I pray that all your pain's no more

And that now you somehow see

We'll be dreaming of you

Until our last breath's gone.

[iamunriven]

5 years ago, I woke up, not knowing it was our final day as a family,

I've learned so much, since that day

If I could press rewind, there's a million things I'd have done differently,

I'd have told you how amazing you are

How much you mean to me

And how ending your life wouldn't end the pain that was overwhelming you

Today, we carry that load

And we will continue to, until our last breaths

So to anyone struggling,

Please stay.

Please fight.

Please give it all you've got.

And if it gets dark,

Reach out.

Feeling pain doesn't mean you're weak

I promise, you aren't the only one.

Fightthewarwithin.org

In loving memory of

Army Ranger Veteran Garrett Briggs

July 31, 1989- January 31, 2018

[iamunriven]

Tomorrow is real.

I kept it at bay for weeks now.

Pushing the darkness at bay as long as I could.

But tomorrow,

I'll wake up and remember

That the last time I kissed you

Hugged you

Sat in your presence

Was 5 years ago.

Of all of the unknowns

Of the mountains of questions that I continue to collect

All I really know

Is that tomorrow is a reminder

That the pain you felt was very real

And to this day

I battle with the questions

Surrounding "what if."

So my message to anyone struggling with thoughts of suicide is this:

You matter.

Your loved ones are not better off without you.

Keep on fighting.

Reach out to us at fightthewarwithin.org if it is getting dark.

No one fights this battle alone.

[iamunriven]

I'm guilty.

Sometimes I doze off and imagine a perfect life

One with no stress

One with no pain

One where you're still here

But then I remember

Life doesn't work that way

It never will

There will always be ups

There will always be downs

It's inevitable that sometimes

It's gonna hurt to breathe

But dear, don't ever forget

That sometimes

It will also shine.

[iamunriven]

Never forget.

Ever.

Even for a second.

That even after the darkest night,

There is a sunrise.

Hang on.

There's light left for you.

[iamunriven]

Thank you @grave-ilusions and everyone who got me to 5 reblogs ❤️❤️❤️