Welcome. I've been dead for a bit and came back only to discover the world has changed in ways I've never thought possible. I can't get a hold of Jack. I don't even think he's on Earth anymore. I guess I'll have to figure out what to do until I find him. Fantastic.
{Independent RP account for Ianto Jones. NSFW at times, open to new rps, and mun is made of pure perfection.}
Archives: File #001788
Subject: Captain John Hart’s Arsenal
Classification: Weapons. A lot of weapons.
Custom/Heavily Modified Colt 1911- (Note: Futuristic technology sitting in old western holsters. He’s just a tacky time mess- I.J.)
Features (Base):
Caliber: 11.43 mm
Overall Length: 219 millimeters
Bullet Speed: 253 meters a second
Rate of Fire: 20-30 rounds per minute
Range of effective fire: 100 meters
Self-loading
Designed in 1911 by John M Browning and entered service with the United States (Note: Again these are base specifications. Due to the enhancements Hart put into place, there’s no way to tell how the new gun compares to the old unless John does a few field tests for me and I’d prefer he stay gone.- I.J.)
Remington 1866 Derringer (Note: For being quite the braggart about his so-called prowess, he chose the smallest gun he owned to hid up his arse. It’s quite telling.- I.J.)
Features:
First year of the model 95- Production ran from 1866 until 1931.
.41 caliber rimfire (Note: I will refrain from making a comment about rims in this case. I.J.)
Single shot
Nickle plated
Pearl grip
Hollowed butt (Note: I will also refrain from making a comment about butts in this case. I.J.)
No extractor
Trademarked as ‘E. Remington & Sons, Ilion, NY‘ (Note: Remington went bankrupt in 1882 and the assets were purchased by another arms company by the name of Harley & Gram. The trademark then changed and later, when merged with another company, changed again. This lead to the model 95 having a possibility of three different trademarks stamped upon it.
Snake Skin Sword (Note: I think it’s just a decorative piece. I’ve never seen him use it.- I.J)
Features:
Korean origin- particularly during the 16th century which was known as the Joseon era
Hwando type of sword
Total length: 101 centimeters
Blade length: 71 centimeters
White snake skin sonjabi (handle) and k’al Jip (scabbard)
Gold plated byungdu (end of the hilt), k’al hom (tong), ko-deungi (sword guard), k’al Jipjj’ak (mouth of the scabbard), and k’al jip-keut (scabbard tip)
Push-style Laser Dagger (Note: To me this just looks like a regular push dagger. Not sure about the laser part and Jack’s reluctant to let me play with futuristic weaponry. Considering I let him touch the SUV, you think he’d return the favor-I.J)
Features:
Also known as: push knife, gimlet knife (New Orleans. The rest of the United States prefer push dagger), fist knife, Stoßdolch (Germany), push dirk, T-handled knife or punch dagger (named by Robbins-Dudley, a company that produced them during World War I for the British Forces)
Push daggers were based off of the design of the16th century Indian blade, the Katar. The difference is the Katar is gripped by using two vertical bars whereas the push dagger has a t-grip to rest between fingers
Heckler & Koch MP5K-Personal Defense Weapon
Features:
German Origin
9mm sub-machine gun
Total length: 66 centimeters
Bullet Speed: 270 meters a second
Rate of Fire: 800 rounds per minute
Range of effective fire: 200 meters
Designed in 1964 and still produced to this day
Closing notes:
There are 17 explosive charges sewn into his coat. Obviously this meant I couldn’t study them but at least it’s noted in the file.
Another pair of weapons I couldn’t examine were the two in his boots. Considering there were no visible distortions, I would say they were probably the same size as the Derringer.
I wouldn’t be surprised if we missed some of his weapons during the initial search when he arrived at the Hub. It’s not as though weapons are only limited to guns and knives and such.
Samandriel never really strayed far from the States, but his run from Crowley’s demons forced him to leave.
And Wales was cold.
And Samandriel hated being cold.
But now the young Angel was walking down the streets of Cardiff, picking at the hem of his sweater as he made his way to his newly bought apartment. He was planning to leave for a new area in maybe a month or two, he couldn’t stay in one place for too long.
He was a few feet from his house when he nearly collided with a terrified woman. “M-M’am? A-Are you all r-right?” the woman ignored Samandriel’s stuttered out question and kept running.
Odd.
Samandriel peered down the alley way that the woman ran from and started to creep into the darkened alley way, his angel blade in hand.
The Angel froze when he saw the two figures a bit further down, one clearly being a Demon. Why were they here? Had they followed him? Well, he would find that out later.
“Demon!” Samandriel shouted, with as much courage as he could muster, walking out from the shadows. “Leave him alone!”
Ianto's azure gaze snapped towards the disturbance, as did the demon's, and he noticed a young man at the entry of the alleyway. His heart sunk at the sight. Granted he needed help against this... Demon? He wasn't sure what to believe, but he did not need a civilian getting involved in this.
While the demon was distracted by the newcomer, Ianto went for his gun and pure panic had him firing a point-blank range into the demon's gut; causing it to jerk in shock. The Welshman managed to break free from the suddenly lax grip and he quickly bolted towards the alleyway; reaching out to snag the arm of the newcomer. "Run!" He needed to get the kid out of danger before he figured out how he'd deal with the demon who he could hear cursing behind them.
It was well after ten at night when Ianto finally left the Hub, stars littered the sky and, for once, it was clear enough to see them. The Welshman reached up and loosened his tie with a finger before he exhaled and tucked his hands into his pockets. ’Another day was done and once again the world was safe’ he mused to himself as he strolled along the docks as he made his way towards his flat.
It was logical, at least to him it was, to keep his ‘home base’ near the Hub. Originally it had been for being close to Lisa but now it was just because he wanted to be nearby in case Jack needed him at a moments notice.
The peace of his walk is interrupted by a sudden shout from a nearby alleyway and he didn’t even consider his safety as he dashed towards the disturbance. Ianto sprinted around the corner then paused at the sight of a man standing over a terrified woman.
“Hey!” His sharp bark had it’s intended effect and the man looked up. “Leave her-” he trailed off as he caught sight of the man’s eyes. Pure blackness stared back at him and a smirk curled up the man’s lips; giving him a sinister edge.
“And just what are you going to do if I don’t?” came the taunt of a reply. Azure eyes raked down the figure for any sign of other abnormalities but none were present.
“What... what are you?” He faintly noticed the woman taking off but the man... creature... whatever he was didn’t seem interested anymore.
“Demon. And you’re Ianto Jones. You do know there’s a hefty reward for any Torchwood employee brought to the King of Hell, don’t you?”
“W-what?” The Welshman was still stuck on the whole demon thing. A demon? An actual demon? His breath caught at that thought. For some reason, deep down, he knew it was absurd. He dealt with Aliens all the time but this... the idea of Hell which meant there was a Heaven which meant there was a God was a bit overwhelming at the moment.
So lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize the demon had moved closer until he felt the rancid breath of death on his face. Instinct had him jumping back but a hand on his arm kept him in place.
“You’re going to get me a promotion.” leered the demon and fear paralyzed the Welshman.
Fantastic news, I shall return for more of Ianto’s database files.
Anyway, a pipe ruptured in my bathroom downstairs while I was at work and I came home to the whole first floor flooded with about 3 inches of water. It’s been nearly three months and repairs will finally be done Tuesday. By the way, 0/10 would not recommend.
I also lost Ianto-muse but I’ll find him, lure him back. and put him to work.
Thank you to my followers for sticking around. I promise that Torchwood 007 will live again.
Fantastic news, I shall return for more of Ianto’s database files.
Anyway, a pipe ruptured in my bathroom downstairs while I was at work and I came home to the whole first floor flooded with about 3 inches of water. It’s been nearly three months and repairs will finally be done Tuesday. By the way, 0/10 would not recommend.
I also lost Ianto-muse but I’ll find him, lure him back. and put him to work.
Thank you to my followers for sticking around. I promise that Torchwood 007 will live again.
Archives: File #001452
Subject: The hand of the Doctor (see file #00004)
Classification: Office supply? Décor? A helping hand?
Features:
It’s the Doctor’s right hand.
In a jar.
Although severed from the Time Lord, it hasn’t decayed since its arrival at the Hub. And it still twitches. Are the nerves intact? (Note: Jack refuses to let any of us study it for more details. It seems really important to him.- I.J)
The jar seems to be alien technology as well. It had to be replaced after Carys Fletcher (see file #103817) shattered it during her escape. (Note: She was an intelligent one. It proved to be the perfect way to distract Jack long enough to run, and I’ll reiterate that this hand must be important if Jack would let a prisoner escape for it.- I.J.)
Added Information from Ianto Jones (Note: Private of course.)
Before Halloween, I suggested a theme for the team where we would all dress as the Addams Family. I don’t think Jack was amused when I pointed out we already had a Thing that actually moved. And honestly, it would have worked if he’d let it out of the jar to roam around the Hub.
I thought I’d end up as Lurch- the butler. Turns out that Jack was rather adamant that I was the Morticia to his Gomez. I’ll admit, he was quite persuasive in proving his point. In French (I think he just made up words that sounded sort of French-ish. I was a bit distracted by the rest of his example... though I distinctly remember him quoting 'Lady Marmalade'.) .However I’m certain it was just because he wanted to see me in the outfit.
Update from Ianto Jones:
I’ve discovered just how important the hand is to Jack. And what exactly it does.
It reacted to the presence of the Doctor appearing in Cardiff. Without a word, Jack took off with the hand in tow and disappeared from Earth. None of the staff would have known if it weren’t for CCTV. Currently the team is restructuring itself around the disappearance of our leader.
(Note: I’ve never seen Jack as happy as he was when the hand activated yet I don’t think I’ve ever felt so off balance. I tore apart the Hub looking for him- luckily nobody else has commented on my reaction. I think they themselves were also blindsided by it. But regardless, I hope he’ll return shortly. I hope that I we are worth returning to after the situation with Abaddon.- I.J)
Being here, I’ve seen things I never dreamt I’d see. Loved people I never would have known if I’d just stayed where I was. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.
Valentine's Day is never a good thing. (This is a fic thing)
“There, you see him?
Sitting there all alone?
And although you won’t make it known
There’s just something about him
So you’re at a loss
Because he’s your boss?
You really wanna, kiss that man.”
-----------------------------------------
It was much easier to work within the archives when there was nobody around to bother him for coffee or errands, Ianto mused to himself as he shoved another manila file back into its proper place. Jack had given the crew the day off for what he called ‘the best day to go out and get laid’ but Ianto had refused and had turned up for work promptly at six as he did every day. Valentine’s Day wasn’t for him and frankly, he was tired of the pink, red, and white merchandise scattered through Cardiff as people geared up to peacock themselves as the best couple ever.
Though perhaps he was being a bit bitter. This was the first Valentine’s Day without Lisa, he had just returned to work a few days ago, and the wound was still too sore to deal with. As was his own conflicting reactions to being around a certain man in a long coat. No, he needed to hide himself away today and bury himself in his work until he forgot about Lisa and Jack and love and passion and hate before he lost his mind.
Dark brows furrowed with confusion as soft tendrils of faintly familiar music suddenly broke the silence and Ianto lowered his clipboard, searching for the source. Considering there was only one other person in the Hub, it wasn’t hard to guess who was behind it. “Sir?” A few cautious steps lead him to the doorway of the archives but there was no other sign of life nearby; which only lead to more confusion. He followed the sound, heading back towards the main area of the Hub yet once he arrived, there was no clear source of the music. As for Jack… Ianto glanced up at the glass encased office and noticed his boss had his head tilted down, engrossed in reading something and-
“There you see him
Sitting there all alone?
And although you won’t make it known
There’s just something about him
So you’re at a loss
Because he’s your boss?
You really wanna, kiss that man.”
The words suddenly sung close to his ear caused him to jerk back in shock and he looked around wildly for the source. Yet there’s nobody around and nothing unusual about the area. “What…?” Pale eyes widened slightly as panic washed over him when he recognized the tune. Oh good god – it’s finally happened. He’s lost his mind. But then, the sensation of being watched also washed over him, forcing him to look towards the feeling and he glances up once more at Jack’s office to see the Captain watching him with a concerned look apparent on his features. And Ianto realized that he must look remarkably like a nut bag. Clearing his throat as he unruffled himself back to professionalism, the Welshman gave him an awkward wave to show nothing was wrong before promptly turning on his heel and practically bolting back towards the archives. Yet the singing seemed to follow him…
“It’s clear you want him
Watching him, you know you do
You know he really wants you too
So why not just give in?
It won’t take a word
Not a single word
Just go and kiss that man.”
“Oh yes. I’m just going to listen to a voice that, may I note, is not mine telling me what to do with a man who- you know what? I’m not debating this with a voice.” The words are grit out as he bypasses the archives in favor of heading towards the cells. At this point, he’d rather hear the unnatural noises of Weevils to the torturous music in his mind. Janet is already standing at the glass barrier and as Ianto arrived, the other two Weevils that had recently been caught also move towards the doors. But they stay perfectly silent. “Oh come on. Why are you silent now?” Ianto murmurs pathetically as he watches the trio.
“Sing with me now.”
Apparently the sung command can be heard by the Weevils because a harmonious wail starts from each of them… to perfectly match the music and Ianto didn’t know if he should laugh or sob hysterically at the notion of Weevils becoming back-up singers to the mental torture going on.
“Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh, my
Looks like Ianto’s shy
He ain’t gonna kiss his man
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain’t that sad
Ain’t it shame, too bad
You gonna lose your man…”
“Ianto?” Jack’s voice reaches him and the Welshman whirls around to see his boss watching him cautiously though his focus shifts briefly towards the warbling weevils. “…Are you okay?” Ianto forces himself to take a deep breath as he runs a hand across his mouth, unsure how to respond to such a simple question. No, he’s not okay but there’s no reason to tell Jack that.
“I… yes. Just… I think I’m a bit over tired.” How could he possibly explain to Jack that he was hearing a song about snogging him set to the bright Disney melody of ‘Kiss the Girl’ with back-up vocals by Weevils? Quite frankly, he can’t explain it and he doesn’t want to even attempt it. But the music hasn’t stopped and he reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he waits for the next verse to just start torturing him all over again. Luckily, or unluckily (he’s not really sure at this point), he doesn’t have to wait long.
“Ianto-“ The Welshman holds up his other hand to silence Jack with a sigh and just waits for the verse to finish; otherwise he’d never be able to focus on what Jack was going to say.
“Now’s your moment
He’s standing here in front of you
Boy, you better get a clue
No time will be better
So don’t say a thing
Just do as I sing
Go on and kiss your man.”
Knowing the chorus that follows is just a repeat, he lowers his hands and sets them on his hips as he stares at the familiar boots Jack always wears. “I think… I might head home, actually. Get some sleep. I don’t think I’ve been getting enough.” He manages to lift his gaze to meet Jack’s. “Would you mind?”
The concern still on Jack’s features only deepens but much to Ianto’s relief, he doesn’t ask any questions. “No, that’s fine. I can handle the rift for a day.” Ianto nodded absently but whatever else Jack said after is lost as the tempo and volume of the chorus rises. As does the sound of the weevils making strange harmonic music behind him. It’s now too much and it’s overwhelming and he’s really losing his mind and he wants to just scream and-
“IANTO.” The raised voice of Jack breaks through it all as two broad hands on his shoulders force him back to awareness. Ianto blinked up at him and gave a slight shake of his head.
“I’m really sorry about this.” Is all he can manage to say before one hand reached up to curve around Jack’s neck as his other fingers tangle in the lapel of Jack’s coat and he yanked the man down into a kiss based on an overwhelming mixture of desperation for the song to end, pent up frustration, and passion that had been repressed since their roll around in the warehouse when they captured Myfanwy. There’s a noise of surprise from the other muffled by their kiss, but then Jack seems more enthusiastic about the kiss then figuring out exactly why he’s being kissed when he lets his hands slide down to encircle the Welshman’s hips instead of pushing him away.
Much to Ianto’s relief, the music and the weevils promptly fall silent and the tension slipped away as he relaxed into the kiss he shared with Jack and- Pale blue eyes shot open and Ianto yanked himself away as he realized exactly what he had done. Which was forcibly snogged his boss. He swallowed hard as Jack’s own deeper blue eyes opened and met his with a look and- he really didn’t want to think about what that look meant.
“I- I have to go.” He moved quickly around Jack to head towards the door when a hand on his shoulder stops him faster than expected. He can’t bring himself to pull away but he also can’t look at Jack so he just waited to see what the other would say or do.
“Ianto, you-” A sound of realization cuts off what Jack was going to say interrupted his own words and the Welshman feels a tug on his jacket, near the center of his back. He can’t help but look over his shoulder to see what his boss was doing after that but he didn’t expect to see Jack holding something shimmering and translucent in his hand.
“What is that?” He can’t help but ask as he steps closer to inspect it, the embarrassment fading for the moment.
“It’s an alien. The name isn’t pronounceable for humans but I’ve heard it called a Cupu-puff.” Jack brushed his fingers along the top of it and the transparent shimmering faded to an opaque purple puff with two oversized eyes watching them both. On top of the creature was an antenna with a glowing green bulb at the end.
“Cupu-puff?” Ianto repeated with a hint of disbelief.
“Cupid puff, basically. These creatures are known for attaching themselves to other species in hopes of getting them to fall in love and mate. They feed off of the endorphins of pleasure.” Jack grinned broadly at that. “I can relate to that.”
“So that thing attached itself to my back and crooned out a Disney love ballad, all in hopes of making me fall in love with you?” Ianto shook his head and turned to leave. “After everything that… Oh, fantastic. I’ll let you deal with it. I’ll start a file on it for the archives and-“
“Ianto.” It wasn’t his name that caused him to look back, but it was the tone. Soft and cautious. “It can’t pair you with someone you’re not… you’re not attracted to.” He glanced down at it, then looked back up at the Welshman. “You-“ The exasperated sigh from Ianto cut him off efficiently.
“Let’s no go down that path, shall we? Just deal with that thing. I’ll file, I’ll order you food, and then head home for the day. Okay?” Ianto expected a nod of agreement but instead, Jack lifted his jaw and straightened his shoulders.
“You’re going to eat too. With me. Here.” Ianto paused at those halted words, searching Jack’s expression for any sign of humor. Jack instead looked… uncertain? Well why wouldn’t he? He was apparently just as confused as Ianto was. Betrayal and hate shouldn’t lead to this so quickly but it seemed like it might be.
“Are you…? Is this?”
“I-” A vulnerable look washed over the uncertainty on the Captain’s face. “-don’t know. Let’s just call it a dinner between coworkers.” Jack tilted his head slightly in question. “So?” Ianto was silent for a long moment as he mentally went through the possibilities of what could happen. But then he just sighed once more.
“As long as I can choose the food. We’ve had Chinese for the past three days.” Neither acknowledged the relieved slump of Jack’s shoulders when Ianto didn’t slide back into his own shadows of solitude once more. And if Ianto thought about it, it would be the first time eating with anyone else since his return.
“Works for me. Figure it out while I deal with our new guest.” Ianto gave a nod at the command and headed towards the main part of the Hub. It wasn’t perfect and he could feel the tension surrounding them both still there, but for now it was better and that was enough.
“You’re not a killer Ianto.” Ianto heard Jack’s whisper of the word over his comm. “I’m not like you. I’m not a killer. You may be me, but you know nothing of who I am, or who ill become” Ianto argued, even if the words felt like lies on his lips.
The killer before him was right. He was curious, deathly curious as to why they had all lost two days of time, why his journal had been tampered with, and just what Jack knew that they didn’t about those things. He wouldn’t let the male get the better of him.
“Don’t assume you know me. Ill return tonight to gather your dishes.” He offered before turning on a heel and leaving, the thoughts still rushing through his head even though he had pulled down his professional mask to hide it.
A look of pure amusement is the only answer Ianto gives his twin in response to the outburst. Both know that's a lie and, if he were so inclined, he would list their past and come up around 95% on the mark. But why rub it in? Already he has planted the seed of doubt in the other's mind and that's enough for now.
"I don't assume anything." He exhales as he rests his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. He can hear the footsteps move away from his cell and raises his voice slightly in turn. "I know you because I am you."
After that, a comfortable silence falls upon the area. Yet he knows he's still being monitored; be it by Jack or another... well, he's not sure. All he can do now is wait because he's interested to see what will happen next.
'Twas the night before Christmas and within Torchwood Three
A story is about to start, one with events none could foresee
It’s important to note that Jack was not there,
The Captain was gone, though it’s unknown as to where;
The Weevils were silent, all locked up in their cages,
and other staff members were off spending their wages;
But cleaning the kitchen and scrubbing it down
Was Torchwood’s tea boy, lips downcast in a frown;
His jacket was gone, sleeves pushed up to forearms
But soon, through the silence, screeches the intruder alarms;
Alone and unprotected, yet with a threat what else could he do?
Ianto mustered his courage and towards the disturbance he flew;
Barely pausing in his dash towards the cog door oh-so-quick
He managed to reach for, and grab, a familiar hockey stick;
And peering around the corner, he saw the impossible appear
A hovering sleigh and eight mechanical reindeer;
Suddenly up stood the driver, looking twisted, dark, and sick
Nothing like the childhood tales of jolly old St. Nick.
As Ianto watched closely to find out what was Nick’s game
The man whistled, and shouted, and commanded by name;
"GO, DASHER! WITH DANCER! AND PRANCER AND VIXEN!
TAKE COMET! AND CUPID! WITH DONDER AND BLITZEN!
WE’LL MAKE TORCHWOOD OUR BASE, UNPROTECTED IT’LL FALL
AND SOON ALL OF HUMANITY WILL BE UNDER MY THRALL.”
The Welshman was unsure if he heard that all clearly
Then again, he realizes, invasions on Christmas happened yearly;
So with no other to help, he tries to formulate a plan
Of how to deal with eight robot ‘deer and one twisted man;
It would figure these things happened when he was alone
And out of his reach, ‘cross the room was his phone;
But then across the way, he sees at brilliant Tosh’s station
A new tech device that might be perfect for this situation;
So taking a deep breath, he sprints ‘cross the room
As Santa rages and rants, his voice promising doom;
A hooved kick to his gut sends him crashing onto his back
And as he turned over he was sure he heard a rib crack;
Oh, Santa’s eyes -- how they gleamed! His presence so scary
And as closer he steps, does Ianto grow weary
Nick’s putrid mouth quirks up with victorious grin,
And now, standing over Ianto, he’s sure that he’ll win;
Ianto swallows hard as he closes his eyes
So certain that this Christmas will be the day that he dies;
And flinching away as he waits for the attack
He silently wishes he said ‘I love you’ to Jack;
Yet the blow never comes and Ianto starts to wonder,
If luck was on his side, perhaps Nick made a blunder?
But, opening his eyes, the sight in front of him leaves him at a loss
For standing over Santa’s unmoving form is his ever-dashing boss;
Jack’s brows are knit together with clear care and concern
And he holds out his hand, which Ianto takes in turn;
The relief is so obvious, as Jack draws him in tight
Hands roaming freely to make sure he’s all right;
The Welshman whispers soothing words to set his Captain at ease
And it does take some time but soon Jack is appeased;
Then together they dispose of the body and ‘deer
And both are now certain Christmas is safe for the year;
Finally Jack winks at the Welshman and lets out a lust filled whistle
His mood changing course like a heat-seeking missile;
And laughing, he declares as he pounces on his lover with delight
"Merry Christmas to me, I get my present tonight!"
