the virtual me @icamumtaza - Tumblr Blog

26 tahun

seperempat abad lebih 1 tahun. kata orang, bukan umur yang muda lagi. seperempat abad lebih 1 tahun. mencoba berteman bersama hidup. seperempat abad lebih 1 tahun. berkenalan dengan berbagai krisis, berusaha lewat dengan baik. seperempat abad lebih 1 tahun. Tuhan tunjukkan bahwa iblis bukan hanya berbentuk lelembut, tapi juga berbentuk manusia. dan malaikat seringkali tak punya sayap, tapi berwujud orang-orang baik di sekitar. hidup tidak selalu baik, tapi Tuhan ajarkanku untuk menertawainya. seperempat abad lebih 1 tahun. semoga Tuhan tetap berikan hati selapang langit, seluas laut.

We debate a lot, we fight over silly things, and we often have different opinions on issues. We are 100% aware that we both are hard-headed. However, I'm so happy to realize that those debates shape me to have broader perspectives towards so many issues and to grow to be a better person. Sometimes I felt like my mind was blowing while we had our arguments, but never once I thought to be with someone other than you. And I don't think that I ever will.

it is hard to believe that a human is capable of loving that much that a human is capable of giving that much but now i understand because i am and so are you

I can't even think about a sweet caption without turning it into a cheesy one. But I'm so glad to have you through the ups and downs and the thick and thick (karena kita berdua gak pernah thin 😧). Thank you for being a home I can always come back to. Let's grow old together happily and healthyly!

Let's make it count.

I wish to always be able to see lights among darkness with you. Just as you lighten the mood when it's gloomy all day. Just as you send me trashy memes in our night conversations. Just as you make me laugh with your poorest, lamest jokes. Because all of those make me realize: It feels so bad not being with you.

And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one, 'cause most of us are bitter over someone. Setting fire to our insides for fun, to distract our hearts from ever missing them.

Daughters - Youth

Doubts

Recent events have made me realize one of my deepest fears: doubting my faith. All these years, I have been taught that this faith preaches love, peace, tolerance, and kindness. I have been believing that this faith is rahmatan lil 'alamiin, a faith that brings good to the universe, without any execption. It is true that you can't always judge a religion by the act some of its followers, but the thing is LOTS of its followers are preaching hatred and violence and anger and it's quite saddening. Then I begin to question thing: what has gone so very wrong? What have these people been taught for their whole lives? Why are they so full of hatred of those who are not in line with them? Because even God does not judge us until our very last days, why should we? Isn't he so full of love and forgiveness? Then why can't we forgive those who hurt us? Perhaps those people are trying to show their love to God. But is that the best way to show your love to God? Is there no any better way to show it? I do believe that God is good, that God is forgiving and full of love. I believe that He intends no violence nor hatred done for His sake. Then why should you and I?

justlittlethings

icamumtaza

MUD MASK, IN PARTICULAR!!!!!!!!

To love is to be vulnerable. The brokenhearted are indeed the bravest among us. They dared to love, and they dared to forgive.

Brené Brown

23 tahun

semoga Tuhan berikan hati yang selapang langit, seluas laut maaf yang tidak bertepi keikhlasan tanpa ujung amin.

Teruntuk yang datang lalu pergi, terima kasih untuk mengisi ruang Dan warna dalam hitam putih Biarkan kita menyembuh dan pulih Karena Ia tahu yang datang nanti Dan kita tidak Tapi niscaya, kita akan baik-baik saja

closure

I now understand why it’s so hard to ask for closure. closure, as any other things, does not guarantee you sweet ending. closure possibly leads you to goodbye. but one thing for sure, it ensures on what to do next. to stay, or to say goodbye.

I’ve never been a big fan of goodbyes. I tend to prolong goodbyes. though I know that it’s necessary to give space for new things and people. but this time, I told myself not to be a coward I used to be. I stopped. I said goodbye.

sure, it hit me hard. the next day was a depressive battle against myself. but I quickly told myself to bounce back. it’s still a battle even until now (though it’s not a depressive one anymore). the memories crush me into ashes. it’s painful even to be at places where we had been before. but I know that these days will eventually pass. that the wheel will eventually put me on top. that I will be fine. and the heartbreak will heal.

so if you’re reading this (which I don’t think will be possible), you should know that never once I regret the time we spent together. I do not feel burdened nor owed. but we’ve gone too far without being able to settle down. I thank you for maturing me up. for countless kindness you gave.

so long and take care. I wish you well.

Kata Bapak, berbisnis sama Tuhan ga akan pernah bikin kita rugi. Makanya, banyak-banyak ngasih, banyak-banyak berbuat baik. Niscaya Dia ganti sama yang lebih baik.