Back.
And so it begins. Always seem to come back here when I have shit to say but no where to say it. I honestly can’t remember the last time I was this pissed. Ironic since i’m pissed almost every day having to deal with the bitch. Fucking ignorant, insensitive, and just plain selfish. People are supposed to think before they act, right? Or am I expecting too much from people? Then again, people don’t give a fuck unless it directly affects them in some way, shape, or form. I put too much faith in those around me sometimes. I cut ties with people from my own hometown where I still live, cut ties with family, everyone. When I try to open back up and let people in, nothing good comes out of it. I love talking and hanging out with people, discussions of any sort are great. Whether it be talking about a joyful subject or a devastating one, I still love to hear people’s input and opinions. However, I don’t know if I can invest heavily in anyone anymore. Shit just doesn’t work out. Of course with me being who I am and going through what I did, I come off the bat with some harsh expectations, which is my own fault, I admit. Some people, however great and genuine they may be have such major flaws and slip up in fantastic ways that I couldn’t even fathom doing if I were in their place. Common sense? Knowledge based off prior experience? I don’t even know. Shit happens and I just look at the whole outcome like, are you really so dense? Good lord. I too have my own flaws, I must admit, I have a fuck ton. I really do, no one is perfect. I hold on to things normal people wouldn’t for the sake of sentimental reasons a lot. I’ve been noticing recently. With friends and those I care about, it takes a long time for me to let go, even after they’ve left for some time. Thing is, I do it on my own time, my own process of dealing with things. Whenever that process gets disrupted, that’s when I lose it. In any case, what’s done is done. No way of going back. Those memories are just that now, memories. Hell, the only regret I have is that I couldn’t get to the point where I could see the actual date that it all started. Dates are important to me for various reasons, and yet, this one date is something i’ll never know. It was good while it lasted.