summary: Its the petshop duo but in an au where Chifuyu comes home late and drunk :")
warnings: major character death, cursing, mentions of drinking, angst with no fluff <\3
pairings: kazutora and chifuyu
notes: FYI this is in Kazutora's pov because i find it easier writing it as first person
a/n: heyy yall!! im honestly in between crying about bajifuyu and kazufuyu and since i always see angst for kazufuyu then why not join it? :") i felt a little bit down today so i hope you enjoy reading this and your feedback would be gladly appreciated<3 sorry if theres errors or mispelling!
Well fuck. Its happening again. Chifuyu just came back home and now he's drunk. As usual. I wouldn't care honestly, as long as he's not out there hurting himself. Right?
" Heyyy Kazu-kun~~ " He's a mess. It just hurts to see him like this. But I couldn't blame him. I'd probably do the same if I lost someone I loved...
It has been years since that incident and it only has been two since my release and our friendship. I didn't expect him to come and pick me up that day either. So I figured this was my second chance in life, a life with Chifuyu Matsuno... but no. I know his heart still lingers for him. I'm not him. I may look like him. But he's gone.
I know I shouldn't blame myself for it. Its stupid really. Falling for a guy because he treated you like no one else did? Oh please. He's probably just doing this because its what he would've wanted. Baji Keisuke. He was my best friend, and he was Chifuyu's first love. They never admitted it to each other, but after hearing Chifuyu's drunken confession one night, it just made sense to me.
So I tried. I tried to look like him, act like him and if even possible, then Chifuyu might love me like how much he loved him. Of course, that's not the case now. I need to put this drunk guy to bed before he does something he'll regret tomorrow.
" Alright Chifuyu, let's get up.. "
" No. "
I swear to god. He does this everytime and its just so fucking frustrating.
" *sighs* Why not Chifuyu? You know that we have work tomorrow "
" But 'm wanna stay here with you... "
He opens his hands, reaching out for me. Stubborn. Stubborn as always.
" No, not tonight. Chifuyu, it's late. Lets just go to sleep. "
" But why are you here...? "
And we're here again. He's gonna blabber on about him. I can't do this again tonight.
" You're drunk... ugh whatever, just come here- "
" NO! Why are you here?! Why isn't he here instead?! I miss him! I miss him so fucking much! You won't understand because you're the reason he's gone! "
Well then... he finally said it. No matter how many times he tried to convince me it wasn't my fault that day, but I know what he feels deep down inside. Not surprised honestly... But why does it hurt? Hearing those words actually coming out from him? I really did fell for him that hard huh? No point now. I'll never get a second chance in life. Not even from Chifuyu Matsuno himself and I've accepted that a long time ago.
" Do you honestly ever shut up about Baji? Its always 'Oh where's Baji?', 'Oh I miss Baji', 'I wish Baji was here', but he's already SIX FUCKING FEET DOWN BELOW US! It's just pathetic at this point... "
I simply don't care anymore. I'll never be him and I knew that from the beginning. He wouldn't love me the same. I should stop trying and just accept it, but why don't I stop then? But for now, I couldn't bear to see his face anymore.
" You know what Chifuyu? I'm just gonna go to sleep. You know how to get to your own bed right. Just sleep on the couch if you couldn't make it there yourself. Goodnight Chifuyu. "
He'll forget it the next morning. Not a big deal. Everything will go back to normal. As usual. Hopefully I can move on from this, and I wish that Chifuyu would move on to someone new by the time. It wouldn't be me obviously but it's okay. I'll take care of him Baji, don't you worry. Even if it hurts me. I'll do my best, for yours and his sake. If I can't be by his side as someone he wants, then I'll be there as someone he needs. Sweet dreams, Chifuyu Matsuno. The one person I've ever really wanted in life.
Supernatural 2005-2020 —The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them, you. When they’re gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.
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