Litte words can hurt too

Pieces*22*Books*Music

[toukatan]

進撃の巨人 ▻ THE FINAL SEASON: CHARACTER DESIGNS

[ichigoichiewt]

This is so cool!!!

[ichigoichiewt]

What are we?

There are times that I would ask myself - What are we? What assurance do I have to call you mine at the end of this ‘game’?

We started our relationship really weird. We met online and became friends, but not that close tho, you’re just like someone I can talk whenever I want to. I’d always tell you how my day went on and you’ll do the same. Were we flirting? coz I think we were. LMAO but of course we’re born cowards. We’re to afraid to confront our feelings to each other even though we know that we felt something and that lead us to this unending circus. Well, at least we’re both happy, I guess? 

So we continued our ‘relation-shit’ - sometimes either of us would crossed the line but it was fine, we’re obviously enjoying each other’s company. Not until things went blurry. You became busy, which was, I understand - because I am busy and we’ve got our own lives, the last thing I want to do is to put a leash on your neck, that’s the line we shouldn’t cross. So I became more understanding, even though we barely talk now, I understand, because you’re on your peak of career. 

Not until I started to doubt you and our ‘relationship’. You don’t reply anymore. You’ll only talk to me whenever you want to and that made me frustrated. I invested lots of emotions and effort for this relationship to work but you ignored all of those. I’ve never been bothered in my whole entire life. So I asked you the question I’ve been asking myself before. 

“What changed?”

And they you replied,

“I’m sorry”

And from there I know what will happen next, the relationship that we were trying to built was slowly fading until it was not there anymore. So I just said,

“It was nice having you around, but this is also the right time that we part ways because to begin with, I was the only one who wished this relationship would work. Thank you for everything.”

That was the most painful I’ve ever sent in my entire life. 

[pocketss]

noooo bro please wake up :(

[pocketss]

noooo bro please wake up :(

[ichigoichiewt]

Jabami Yumeko 

I’ve tried my best. 

[mou-comics]

all the anxiety i kept in me,

i finally breathe out

and i let it go. 

[ichigoichiewt]

The unspoken words

It’s been months since we met. You’d laugh to my jokes and I’ll do the same too. It was nice to have someone to talk to. I’ve never met a guy who made me this comfortable. Sometimes I caught you looking at me intently while smiling. It was the creepiest yet loveliest smile I’ve ever seen and that was the day I start thinking all of the different what ifs. 

What if we’re destined to meet?

What if we’re destined for each other?

What if there’s a possibility of us?

Lots of what ifs. 

Last week I saw you walking on the corridor while reading some of the cases that was assigned to us. I was about to run to you when suddenly a gorgeous woman clung arm on your neck. Like she was choking you but she was not and then you both laughed. At that moment I felt like my world stop evolving and lots of rocks are suddenly falling up from the sky. 

You ruffled her hair and started talking about something. You were both laughing. Even the people that you both passed by are looking at you. It’s like you both created your own bubble and have no plan to burst.

I took a step towards to you...

Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

One...

Just like how the wind passed by, you both walk passed through me. I was even about to say HI to you but you were so engrossed with what you guys are talking and I felt like my whole world collapse.

Because I like you... a lot..

[ichigoichiewt]

We’re still ALIVE!

[ichigoichiewt]

There are times that we want to just vanish. But life doesn’t work like that, we may be dead inside, we still need to fight and live, because the world will never be in favor to us. Ever.

[ichigoichiewt]

AU of What Lies Beneath the Sand (Part 1)

This au happened right exactly after the Zalduas and Senyora Demotilla pushed Ace after learning their (Ace and Daniella) scheme

This will be in Ace’s POV

-----

I was broken after hearing the words from Zamiel. It fucking hurts. I know it’s not right to lie to someone but I got no other choice. I have to think for myself too. My stepmother deprived me with my parents’ wealth. I might be young but I know, hindi pwedeng walang iniwan sa aking ang magulang ko. Kaya ako pumayag sa inalok ni Daniella dahil kailangang ko ng pera para sa pag aaral ko. Pero ngayon, lahat ng ito nawala na. Ang maipapangako ko lang sa sarili ko ay babawiin ko kung ano ang sa akin.

-----

It was a rough 5 years. My Auntie Tamara helped me in settling in Cagayan Valley, she even to pay my tuition fee but I declined her offer. Dahil siguro sa dami ng nangyari sa akin, mahirap na para sa akin ang mag tiwala. Nevertheless, I took the degree that I want and where I’m passionate about. Architect. Hindi naging madali para sa akin ang pag tapos ng kursong gusto ko, muntik ko na noong tanggapin ang alok na pera ni Auntie Tamara, pero sa huli hindi ko rin nagawa, pero tumira parin ako sa bahay niya dahil hindi ko na siguro kakayanin talaga kung mag rerenta pa ako ng titirhan ko. Nag sikap akong itaguyod ang sarili ko, nag tratrabaho kapag wala pasok, pumasok akong waitress, ang tumanggap ng mga assignment ng mga kaklaseng kong tamad sa pag aaral. And good thing St. Louise University Tuguegarao approved my scholarship request, at least nakabawas ‘yon sa gastusin ko. Ginamit ko ang sweldo kong nakukuha sa pag wewaitress at ibang raket sa school requirements, and so far patapos na ako sa kolehiyo with the highest latin honor pa. This is the time na naaalala ko ang mga magulang ko. At gaya ng naipangako ko noon, babawiin ko ang akin.

-----

Naging mabilis ang pangyayari. After graduation, agad akong lumipad papuntang Middle east para mag trabaho at kumuha ng magandang reputasyon. The three years was like a roller coaster for me, I had my ups and downs, yung point na halos gusto ko na gumive up, but remembering all the pain, nag patuloy ako sa pag susumikap. I met new friends here, the Riegos were good, and hot but definitely not my type. But among them, mas naging close ako kay Vincent Hidalgo maybe because we’re sharing the same passion. The people around would gossip about our relationship but we didn’t care at all, simply because it was absurd, Yes, true like the Riegos, Vincent at good looking too, but he’s just really not my type, he’s just like a brother to me. But what is my type anyway?

“So after this uuwi kana sa Pinas?” Vicent asked me after his speech. Katatapos lang namin ipatayo ang isang 5 star hotel dito sa Dubai. It was the hardest and longest project we had. Dugo at pawis ang inilaan namin para dito, at ngayon, hindi ako makapaniwalang tapos na. Finally

“Not sure, you think I should go home now?” I asked him. He knows my story, hindi ko alam pero isang araw nalang, I found myself telling my story to him. He even suggested that I should go home and claim my parents’ properties, but I told him, I will but not now. 

Now, I don’t know if this is the right time

“Well I think you should, kasi wala ka nang makakasama dito.” I paused at what he said

“You’re going home now?” I asked him. 

“Yes, even the Riegos. I don’t know about Jax though, he got pissed off when we told him to go home with us.” sabi niya habang umiiling. Napatawa naman ako dahil doon. Jax is the last member to our group, he went here the latest.

“So you’ll go and see her?” I asked him, pertaining about this celebrity girl that he’ve been crushing for. 

“Psh. Eh ikaw kikitain mo na ba ‘yong ex-fiance mo?” He shot me back na agad ko naman inirapan. 

“Pwede ba, he’s not my ex-fiance. Ang kulit mo rin no?” I told him, a bit annoyed. 

“Chill, I was just asking.” He said while laughing. Again, inikutan ko nanaman siya ng mata.

The party went well, the boys I’m with are all wasted. These Riegos and Hildalgos are so sure that I will fucking take care of them, kaya pala ayaw nila akong uminow kanina kahit isang baso lang. Kasi kailangan nila ng nanny. So annoying, bakit ba kasi mga walang girlfriend and mga ‘to? oh right, lahat sila sawi sa pag ibig. Kaya kung makainom akala mo wala ng bukas. 

Habang binubuhat ko si Jax papunta sa sofa he’s talking gibberish.

“Fucking shit, talagang mas huk matanda? Sobrang huk tanda? Tangina huk lang, di hamak na mas huk gwapo ako doon.”

to be continued.

[ichigoichiewt]

The office crush

I don’t know when did this started, but I just found myself slowly getting attracted to this guy. Trust me, he’s not the most attractive in our office, I even used to hate him because of his attitude, too cocky and too arrogant. I hate how he thinks he’s the smartest person alive the suddenly a spark happened. I just found myself laughing at his lame joke and rebuttals to my other office mates and I love how he always looks at me while he’s about to make a joke, it’s like, he’s actually waiting for my reaction, and yep, here you go I’m laughing and smiling at your lame joke. 

I thought it would be just like that, you and your jokes, me laughing at you. Not until I caught you stealing glances at me, because I know how that does look like, well if it’s not obvious, I do that too. But never in my wildest dream that you will reciprocate those glances. And if sometime I caught you, my heart wants me to smile at you, but my mind chose to look away instead. Huh, what a coward we have here, it’s just that, I don’t want you to think that I look you that much. 

But as days passed by, our small interactions gets intense that I feel like you know something that I don’t, or maybe you’re really not that oblivious or was I giving you hints and signals? Sure, you smile and say hi to all, but why do I think that when you do those things to me, it has different meaning? Like you say and doing the same thing, but for me it has a different meaning? Oh gosh, don’t tell me I like you that much now? I thought this is just a happy crush?

But I was fine with it, really, really fine with it. Not until I heard you have a girlfriend, how cruel the word is to me. I felt how my world crush, thought I knew there will never be us, but I still hoped. This is so fucking funny. 

And now, I’m trying my best to lessen my interaction with you, I just really hope that I can do this, well, I’m just hoping that I can get a new job soon. I don’t know I can feel it, I’m leaving soon, and our hearts and minds will be at peace, or is it just mine? Because in the first place, I was the problem? I let myself believe that your actions have different meaning? 

Now, I’m frustrated, because I will never get an answer from you. What a hopeless case we have here.

Stay safe y’all :)

Nana korobi ya oki

[ichigoichiewt]

We can’t control anything

Today, I thought I can control something that I want, but I was wrong. Funny how confident I was that I can actually do it, but it was the opposite, which lead to another disappointment of my life.  This year really brings the worst of me.

Stay safe y’all :)

Nana korobi ya oki

[ichigoichiewt]

Today, someone told me how fucked up my life is. Yeah, fuck my life and suck it up because I will never give up this life. I will change, but I will never give up

[ichigoichiewt]

They don’t know your pain

Since I was young, I’ve been introduced on how unfair the world is. I bet we all have experienced different pain. And now that I’m already an adult, I didn’t know that the pain that I felt when I was young, multiplied the moment I grew up. Well it actually make sense, because the longer we get aged, the more we realized things that were beyond when we were young. 

The people around us might have seen how painful it is for us but not the feeling. They saw it, but they never felt it. These people tend to question you, and your decisions, say hurtful words because they never know how painful it is. Sometimes you just want to scream at them and say “I’m fucking trying, okay?! It’s just that it’s not working, but I’m trying my best to get it work!” but at the end you can’t do this to them, because it will just fuel everything up and you’re to tired for another session of shouting, instead you let yourself hear them out, all the hurtful words, suck it up. 

One day, we will be free to these kind of people. The time when we won’t need to suck up their words because it will not matter anymore. 

I hope we will all succeed. 

Be safe y’all :)

“Nana korobi ya oki”

[ichigoichiewt]

The hardest and easiest thing you will ever do in your life is love the people you choose to love

Andreau (The Space in Between)

[ichigoichiewt]

The Pandemic

The year 2020 was a big blow around the world. In just three months, a lot of us have suffered because of the unexpected events, but in contrary to that we all know that there’s a big chance that all of this will eventually happen, it’s just a shame that we were caught off guard, because we aren’t really ready for this. 

For the past months, a pandemic has arisen, causing the whole world to panic for their safety and the future. This pandemic is testing our very own country on how prepared our country actually. This is the time where we will see our own leaders love their people and their country.

In a country where I’m currently living, I can say that the government actions was far from were I expected. They have decided to suspend all classes for one month and the schools introduced different platforms on how the students will not leave behind by with their studies.We should be thankful that we are living in a generation where technologies and internet are  very accessible, that is why, classes will be given through online classes. 

But how about the corporate/businesses? How about the economy income? For example, some country airlines already cancelled all flights, and they are not accepting anything until of course further notice. Obviously, the country’s income will go down, which will make a huge impact in everyone’s lifestyle. 

This is the fight that all of us should face right now right now and it will take us time to beat this pandemic. I just hope that we will be able to learn something from this.

Stay safe y’all :)