allex darling

Put on this earth for music, kids, healing, & words. Natural hair, brown skin, & just Black enthusiast.

[iconically-laconic]

in fact, i might even go as far as to say that ion like myself on the days that i don’t go to the gym

[iconically-laconic]

am officially that girl who gets in a bad mood if she doesn’t get to the gym within a 24 hr period from her last gym visit

I’m 0% content rn

[iconically-laconic]

[iconically-laconic]

also never thought I’d be saying as an adult woman that I think “relationships are for white people”

but, sometimes when I really sit back

and think about the capitalistic nature of a union, am I actually wrong?

slaves weren’t allowed to get married and reap the benefits of an official union

and now?

fuck

I slept so poorly I can’t fully make the comparison I want but but there’s a modern day equivalent that involves jail, separating Black families, and still lowkey segregating us to neighborhoods where the education is poor, the safety is poor, the mental health is poor, the job opportunities are poor, the literal access to food is poor

who the fuck can think about a union when they’re fighting for their lives?

[iconically-laconic]

last night, I dreamt of you

[iconically-laconic]

raise your hand if you’re of the depressed crew that actually lost weight this season bc imagine actually feeling motivated enough to eat

[iconically-laconic]

confession: completing my master’s has been so incredibly isolating bc

1) the people in my family who have written (an undergraduate or master’s) thesis either did so 40 years ago or two years ago, but didn’t actually conduct research

2) people still barely understand my job and field

3) people don’t try to understand it

I’m scared to graduate.

Being a struggling student in this way has been such a big personality trait for me lately. I am scared of the freedom to quit some of my jobs, to have evenings to myself. I’m horrified by the idea of working full-time in my field and accepting the true start of a “career”

The world is the big bad wolf and I’m a house of fucking sticks.

[iconically-laconic]

I miss you the most when I’m vibing to (new) KCAMP music

But, I truly miss a memory now and move in peace about it. I smile when the feelings come.

I don’t recklessly

toxic-ly

reach out to you anymore.

[iconically-laconic]

I wish there was a place to go

when you just didn’t want to be anymore

oh, yeah.

I know that place

and while I don’t run toward it

I certainly don’t slow my pace

[iconically-laconic]

mondays are so hard for me. so hard

[iconically-laconic]

lol wanted to be at the gym an hour ago and now that I’m here (still with ample time) I just can’t make my feet go in.

ok

going in

[iconically-laconic]

sometimes I forget where to look,

but what I do know is

I am looking for joy in all the wrong places

[iconically-laconic]

every single one of us on this planet was given a life. and, to call it a gift may be an overstatement; to call it nothing would be an understatement. it’s something in between without a proper qualifier. mostly measured by what you accomplish, do, and feel and by who you meet.

and even these thoughts are not enough

[iconically-laconic]

[weltenwellen]

Erika L. Sánchez, from “La Cueva”, Lessons on Expulsion

[cannibalchicken]

[donkeydickjess]

It’s giving adhd

[iconically-laconic]

not the gym giving me the confidence again to roll down my window and holla at ninja