the mortifying ordeal of having feelings

[identityborrowed]

I have become daughter to myself

A child both better and the same as she was

As I was

As I am now

[identityborrowed]

A black hole rests

inside my chest

I placed it there just so

It eats my breath

And spans the breadth

I thought you'd want to know

I'm feeding it the parts of me

You couldn't bring yourself to see

Emotional lobotomy

I euthanized the parts of me

You criticized relentlessly

A burning kind of ecstasy

And oh

Oh

Oh, is it hungry

[identityborrowed]

Map the abandoned hallways in my chest

Explore the ruins I used to fill with you

And I could spend all my days screaming out

But half a conversation cannot stand

And im through expecting you to hold my hand

So

Keystones and telephones

While arches fall

I miss payphone calls

You made the bricks

And I built the wall

We built the wall

It's not my fault