holding on by a heartbeat

Socially awkward, Scottish, 31. Loves music, gigs, films, reading, photography, writing and tattoos.This blog is filled with all my favourite things. Expect cool people, cool clothes, tattoos, my favourite bands, travel and photography. And maybe a few cute animals thrown in every so often.Instagram: charline_84Twitter: charline84

[idiotkid]

Not gonna lie. I like how I look in this photo. Also hey! I never check this anymore.

[idiotkid]

Oh Bruno 😍😍😍

[idiotkid]

I was doing so well...

2017 started out so positive, I’ve been doing so well. And then a couple of comments were made about me at work this week and I’m back at square one. I’m crying (for the first time this year) and thinking about all my regrets and how I hate my life. There. I said it. I hate my life. I hate everything that I haven’t become, everything that normal people take for granted. I’m sick of being lonely. I want to be kissed, to receive affection, to have friendships.

Why did I buy my mums house? I thought I was doing the right thing. But I’m a 32 year old woman who has to sit in her bedroom like a fucking child every night, cos I’m still living with my mum. And because I have such a shit paid job and big mortgage, I don’t actually have any money to do anything to the house, so I can’t change anything. I saved up £12,000 for a deposit. £12,000!!! Imagine what I could have done with that money. I could have travelled the world, which would have made me a damn sight happier.

I’ve never been encouraged to do anything. Never been encouraged to be independent. My family have always held me back, wrapped me up in cotton wool. They’ve helped me hate myself.

Sorry for writing such a depressing post but I just needed to get this off my chest.

[illuminosity]

me, on my deathbed: *whispers* jesse pinkman deserved better

[idiotkid]

LA LA LAND

Was so good. Emma Stone is so pretty and Ryan Gosling dancing and playing keytar is so sexy. It's a riot of singing, dancing, brilliantly bright costumes. It's all lovely and up. And then the last few scenes hit you like a punch in the stomach and I left the cinema feeling so sad and deflated 😥 Still loved it though.

[idiotkid]

Work has been hard the past couple of weeks. I'm part of a small team of 5 (4 full time, 1 part time) and we process time sheets for 700 workers wages on a weekly basis. 1 full time member has been off sick for 11 days and counting and 1 full time member has been on holiday for 11 days. It's been so manic and stressful. I'm so insanely happy it's Friday and the weekend. Looking forward to a little shopping and a date with Ryan Gosling tomorrow 😍

[idiotkid]

Did my first workout tonight - abs & arms and I'm absolutely knackered. My limbs feel like jelly. Let's see how long I stick with this (I do really want to)

[cinemagal]

The colour Pink in The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

[idiotkid]

Did a 3.9 mile walk on Monday and a 2.35 mile walk today. Back to work tomorrow. Will try and do one long walk a week, weather permitting.

[xeptum]

[wilwheaton]

Don’t be fooled: every swan in this picture will murder your face and the faces of every single living thing you love if given the chance.

[idiotkid]

2017 💪

I'm feeling quite motivated just now. I know everyone feels like that at the beginning of the year with resolutions and everything, but I really want this feeling to last. 2016 was so awful that I just want 2017 to be amazing. I want to get fitter and I'm being really inspired by a lot of posts on Instagram. It's great to see what is really possible and what can be achieved. I've definitely improved the last couple of years, but I want to go further and eat better as well. I have so many ideas for tattoos and I just want to get them done. So excited. I'm one of those people who as the Arctic Monkeys lyric goes - thinking bout things, but not actually doing things. This needs to change.

[strangeparker]

New Years resolution: less bitter more glitter

[bookoisseur]

❤

[idiotkid]

I need to do more of this in 2017.

[1000drawings]

[politicalprof]

It’s going to be a very, very long year.

[wilwheaton]

I’m going to miss having an adult as my president.

[idiotkid]

Let's be honest, 2016, I'll be glad to see the back of you. It hasn't been a great year both personally & for the world in general. A lot of unexpected changes. But we made it out the other side. Hope 2017 brings more stability, health, happiness, peace and love ❤️ #2016yousucked #2017imcomingforyou #nye

[idiotkid]

Things I want to do in 2017

Get fitter (but I don't particularly want to go to the gym) would like to try yoga or meditation. More travelling even if it is just the UK (I miss going to random places for gigs). More tattoos (this one is a definite).