[the2headedcalf-archive]

this is so fucking cool

[kendallroy-deactivated20210425]

37 jokes reductress would reject if i submitted them but instead i’m just posting them on tumblr

I’m Not Just The Hot, Young, Conniving Ice Queen Who’s Going To Marry Your Dad And Ship You Brats Off To Boarding School — I Also Have Hemorrhoids

I’m Sick Of The Patriarchy Telling Me To Downplay My Accomplishments, Such As Getting Away With The Murder Of Natalee Holloway

Feminist Icon? Terrible Mom Ensures Daughter’s Future Therapy Sessions Will All Pass the Bechdel Test

Aww! Woman’s Parents Fled Hardships Of Communism Just So She Could Experience Hardships Of Capitalism

Couple’s Venmo Transaction History Paints Pretty Vivid Picture of Whose Idea It Was To Open Their Relationship

Bitch Who Had TWO American Girl Dolls Wants To Lecture You About Class Consciousness Now

Report: Gaslighting And Lying Just Kind Of The Same Thing, According To Lauren

5 Guys To Date In Your 20s Even Though They’re Not Gerri From Succession

Quiz: Is This Emotional Labor Or Just Listening To Your Friend Talk About Her Problems For Once?

Wow! Friend’s Entire Poly Relationship Drama Could Be Solved With Chore Chart

I Hope This Email Finds You Before The Owner Of This Remote Island Does, Because He’s Hunting You For Sport

5 Fights To Have With Your Boyfriend That Are Just The ‘Whitecaps’ Episode Of The Sopranos 

I Online Stalked My Ex’s New Girlfriend And Get This: She Used To Be Mormon???

Weird Quirks You Didn’t Know Were ADHD Symptoms That Are Just Having Enormous Bazonkers And A Dump Truck Ass

Goals! Woman’s Entire Understanding Of Stock Market Comes From Neopets

Haley Posting A Whole Lot About God’s Grace For Someone Who Gave You A ‘Backup Invitation’ To Her Pool Party In Sixth Grade

6 Movies To Watch Even Though Kathryn Hahn Isn’t Even In Any Of Them, So What The Fuck

Quiz: Is This A Serious Feminist Issue Or A Personal Problem You’ve Projected On Your Parasocial Relationship With An A-List Celebrity?

How To Settle Down With Jeff Even Though You Lack The Sizzling Chemistry Of Robert De Niro And Al Pacino In ‘Heat’

4 Theories About Kim On ‘Better Call Saul’ That Will Make Your Coworkers Say “Yeah, I’ve Been Meaning To Check That Show Out”

Report: Emily Identifying As Empath Now, Which, Not To Be Rude, But Emily?!

Quiz: Is That Movie A Feminist Masterpiece, Or Does It Just Have A Woman In It?

Inspiring! Jenna’s Handshake So Fucking Firm, No One Can Tell She Grew Up Without A Father

How To Pretend You Never Hated Anne Hathaway Now That Everyone Likes Her Again

Activism Win! Kevin’s Intersectional Feminism Definitely Not Just An Excuse To Call This One White Women A Cunt

All 5 Women On Bumble BFF Still Looking For The Abbi To Their Ilana, So Good Luck

4 Things Your History Teacher Definitely Told You That You Didn’t Retain Because You Were Writing Horny Draco/Harry Fanfic In Your Notebook 

‘There’s No Ethical Consumption Under Capitalism’ Says Woman About To Blow $77 On Polyester Tops From Fashion Nova

Fuck! Tamogatchi Definitely Dead By Now

Quotes From Gone Girl’s ‘Cool Girl’ Monologue To Take Out Of Context When Some Bitch Rubs You The Wrong Way

4 Inspiring Female Politicians To Call ‘Neoliberal Shills’ As Soon As You’re Totally Clear On What That Means

Huh! 100% of Lindsey’s Sexual Fantasies Attributable To The Alan Cumming Character In ‘Spy Kids’

Aww! Teacher Lonely Enough To Consider Confiding In Neurotic Third Grader Whose Parents Are Also Going Through Tough Divorce

Woman Who Just Mainlined 500-Comment Meltdown In Facebook Group Thinks ‘Gifted Kid Burnout’ Is The Reason She Hasn’t Read A Book In Years

Does She Believe In An Antisemitic Conspiracy About A Sex Trafficking Ring Of Satan-Worshiping Elites, Or Is She Just Kinda Quirky?!

31-Year-Old Woman Who Claims You ‘Can Pry Her Skinny Jeans From Her Cold, Dead Hands’ Claps Back At Gen Z By Becoming Lobbyist For Fossil Fuel Industry

Group Text Puts Aside Feminism To Really Just Go The Fuck In On Crystal

[cungadero]

thanks for letting me talk about a piece of media i love with you and responding in earnest interest with the intent of checking it out for yourself because of my recommendation. also how do you feel about being kissed directly on the mouth

[fivewrites]

I think the people who say “You don’t need to be critical of every piece of media you consume” fundamentally misunderstand what we mean by “critical”.

When we say “be critical of the media you consume” we don’t mean “be negative” as in, find every flaw and pick it apart CinemaSins style.

We mean “examine it”. Like, look at what you are consuming, and in many cases, enjoying, and ask yourself why you are enjoying it. Ask yourself who made it. Ask yourself if you are the target audience. Ask yourself if you are being represented by the characters you see. Ask yourself if the author has biases or political leanings they are trying to include in the story.

Just, ask yourself questions. The answers don’t have to be negative. That’s not what being critical means.

[recoverr-a-deactivated20210530]

making friends (especially after you’ve lost a couple or several ones) can be hard and incredibly isolating. finding people we can connect and be vulnerable with is no easy task, so often we feel like it’s a moral failure when things don’t work out between us and someone else. just know there are so many people in this world you have yet to meet who will love you and it’s okay to drop all this heavy relationship baggage now. you’re not defined by the people you’ve lost.

[idiotzukka]

imagine soaping up ur gfs naked titties and not wanting to fuck her after???

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

My advice to you is that if you wanna do something totally different and reinvent a little part of yourself but you’re afraid people will think you’re trying too hard: just do it anyway.

In high school there was a girl who wore heels every single day and I was so envious. I wanted to wear heels but I was a huge tomboy growing up and no one thought of me as feminine and I was worried people would think I was being “fake,” or trying too hard.

But one day I wore a pair and I got a lot of remarks, not all of them nice. And then I wore another and another until one day a girl said to me “I wish I could wear heels like you and [the girl I envied] but I couldn’t pull it off.”

And I realized I’d become known for wearing heels and it was just a thing I did now and nobody questioned it.

I know this is such a small thing but I have held on to this lesson throughout my young adulthood because it’s proven true again and again with bigger things like my career and my sexuality

When you first step out of the idea of yourself other people have accepted or invented and express a part of you that they don’t know, it’s scary. People like to think they know you you, and challenging their perception of you threatens them.

That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to express who you are.

You’re not fake or trying too hard just because you decide to share a new side of yourself!!!

[idiotzukka]

genuinely about to just pack up and just go live off the land somewhere I s2g I hate this

[bob-belcher]

Taron Egerton wins Best Actor for Motion Picture Musical, and Elton Johns reaction!

[mosticonicposts]

if you're 13 or younger can you 1. unfollow me 2. delete your Tumblr and go do something else like hone a craft or read or bike or something or even just watch avatar the last Airbender I don't want you people on this terrible website

[mosticonicposts]

I'm not even joking this place rots your brain the internet is the worst I'm saying this as someone who was on the internet since age 9

[idiotzukka]

am I crazy to think that I should not be told I'm too much of an inconvenience to be picked up from the airport??????

[mbrainspaz]

I really enjoy just existing in hotels. The long identical hallways. The soulless abstract art. The weird noises the air-conditioner makes. Strange city lights in the window. Six stories off the ground. Strangers chatting in the hall. Nothing in the dresser. No past, but an infinite present. 

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[yo-daddys-my-bitch]

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

10 of Pentz came thruuu

[violaslayvis]

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

[borkdork]

I could seriously use this money right now….

[ashashi-corner]

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

[virgocity]

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

[penprp]

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

[leradny]

I NEED TO FIX MY CAR DOOR

[getlostpeeves]

It fucking WORKED.

[teaboot]

Every person in a position of political power should have their daily needs matched to the lowest class of their country.

[teaboot]

You make $6 an hour now, Mr. Congressman, and you’re not allowed to sit down or take breaks during your 7.5 hour daily shift. If you don’t like that, then you’re welcome to make some changes

[betthearm]

This.

[norcross]

i’ve never understood being able to enact laws that will never impact you

[phinarei]

It legitimately works. When politicians chose to live on the food stamp budget for their state they worked to increase the allotment after only a week of living that way.

And honestly? It should include having to spend time living on disability, navigating their district in a wheelchair, and taking public transit.

These people should have to live with their choices the same way they force us to live with them.

[idiotzukka]

I can't,,,,, fathom,,,,, this bullshit. if I snap a little, not even a Big Snap, just a lil one,,, and I immediately apologize and say I'm feeling rlly anxious for this reason and this is why I snapped,,,, and u say "how am I supposed to know?" ??????? bitch because I literally just told you??????????? use a single ounce of compassion are u fuckin kidding me??????? imagine how tired I am

[freakonakaleesh]

I think its very cool and Sexy of me to have completely avoided interacting with or having any knowledge of game of thrones. that cultural zeitgeist went on for years, cost millions of dollars and wasted hours of people's lives. but me? I don't know her