He became my best friend.
One time I helped a coworker rescue a mama cat and her kittens that we’re starving hiding under the shed of her rental property. I fostered them all, naturally the kittens were adopted quickly. I was left with feral cat loose in my house that was was beautiful (once nourished properly) slightly deformed, her legs are are about half the length of a normal cat and her eye twice as large.
I’d feed her everynight as soon as I got home from work, though eager to see me and her supper, she would then very quickly turn on me and draw blood any chance she got. I found it hysterical and challenging. Needless to say we became one others family because eachother was all we had. Two moves and two or so years later I get phone call.... “mama cat” was gone gone. She had escaped out the front door when strangers were over and I wasn’t home.
It was clear she had become overwhelmed and scared and I wasn’t there for her. For a week or so I sat up everynight sitting in the yard with food calling for her. I had her favorite toys, sprinkled her litter all over the yard. Left my clothes draped on the railings of the front porch just to attract her to the familiar sents of home.
That’s when I met Charlie. I had seen him around before, I made note of him. But we never introduced ourselfs to one another... it wasn’t until my constant non threatening nocturnal presence, and high quality wet food, and tears that he began to check on me. Night after night he would sit closer and closer to me. Checking on me. After a while I recognized his behavior and locations at which he chose to reside along side of was more like a German shepherd than a cat. Charlie was trying to protect me. Take care of me. He was aware I was sad, and I was aware of his concern. At first I was angry with him. I’d yell at him to “GO AWAY, she won’t come back if you’re here!!” After days and days passed of sleep deprivation.. I gave up trying to shoo him. I honestly loved the company. Eventually mama cat was found, returned home safe and sound. But Charlie never left. Everyday I’d come home and he be sitting/laying just by my door step “hi Charlie, how was your day?” He always quacked back me (he’s a very large black and white tuxedo cat, he didn’t so much as meow, it was more a deep gutteral “quack”). Every morning I’d walk out the door on my way to work Charlie would be right there, “good morning Charlie!!’ Have good day big man see you when I get home.” “Mmquack” he’d respond. I loved him.
Every second I spent in the yard he stayed by my side. (I spent the majority of all my free time in yard) I took upon myself to get this perfect big man fixed, the medical attention he needed and to get him adopted. I finally found Charlie home. I’m Raleigh NC, my sister picked him up anc got him a loving home at farm, huge property, two loving doting single parents..... He ran away the second day.... I can’t sleep anymore. For a year straight all I did was run outside and make sure this cat with still alive, was happy, fed, hydrated. And then I trapped him had him driven over 147 miles away, and abandoned.
I cry every day. It’s so stupid it. It’s just fucking cat. Not even my cat. But here I sit on my porch at 3 am as I do most nights because I can’t ever sleep. But it’s not ok anymore, because now... I am alone. He’s not It here swiping me when I cry. Quacking at me when I make a distressed exhale, Trying the run to the back yard before me to make sure the cost is clear. He won’t be here when I wake up or when I get home. He’s scared, sad, starving and dying trying to get back home all because I though I was doing “right thing”.
I wreck everything I touch, and bring misery to everyone I try to help. I just didn’t realize that for the past year or so he was best friend. He would be the one I’d be sitting here telling this story too.
