Prettiness Isn't a Rent You Pay

[ourrevolution-deactivated202202]

“This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal. To my mind, that is what’s known as being stunningly and embarrassingly full of shit.” - George Carlin

…PolitiFact going through history to fact check this guy was like that time CNN went through history to dig up dirt on Bernie, and all they found were videos of him planting trees, and telling kids that racism is bad.

[fierceawakening]

PolitiFact going through history to double check this is still a good thing though, because it means we can truthfully say they did.

https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2019/sep/10/arlen-parsa/evidence-shows-most-47-men-famous-declaration-inde/

[ostolero]

to me it's a trolley opportunity

[cryptotheism]

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

[cryptotheism]

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

[cryptotheism]

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

[brothermouse-skeleton]

As a professional guard who always lies, don't worry about it, you're doing great.

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[orange-catsidy]

wow you have dogshit taste (remembers im trying to be nicer to people who like different things) uh i mean, it's beautiful how the breadth of human experience is so wide it encompasses those with good taste and those with dogshit taste

[my-dailydreams]

[animentality]

[tanadrin]

scrubbed the bathroom floor this morning. this sense of virtue and industry will last me easily into next week.

[koukorndog-deactivated20260108]

some of you would thrive in a monastery

[innerchildabortionclinic]

this is how all high protein dessert vids look to me

[lichcoil]

so there's a natural order to this world and we need atleast four million mans in boots with armor, vehicles, and firearms to enforce it, otherwise something unnatural might happen

[depsidase]

[actuallysara]

happy

[swampreligion-deactivated202501]

i love my misandrist mother i asked her one time if she liked lord of the rings and she said “i’m tired of men going on adventures”

[programmerhumour]

Once upon a time…

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

[thebeanestbad]

[personification-of-anxiety]

I really wish the overused sentence “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” was less relevant but here we are

[triassictriserratops]

[headspace-hotel]

Me: *seeing a doctor* Did the test come back positive?

Doctor: *has a doctorate in English Lit* I’m sorry, it’s a little more challenging than we thought. We analyzed your imagery, and it appears that you symbolize the fleeting nature of the American dream

Me: oh god

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

you can know the punchline but you can’t stop it from punching you.

[mighty-meerkat]

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

[moonlitstargazer]

[sigmaleph]

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing