i’ve been feeling too many emotions, but the one that sticks out the most is dejection. i feel defeated, beaten down, broken. i feel like the space that i’m taking up, doesn’t matter anymore, it’s never mattered. i feel the weight of 494 years of oppression, i feel the heaviness of minnesota, i feel the rage of protestors, i feel the ache of my fists as i beat through these racially charged murders against my black brothers and sisters. how dare you kill them. how dare you try and tell me how i should feel. i feel nothing. i feel empty. how dare you beat me like a dead horse and then wonder why i am so broken. wonder why i am so angry. i feel anger. i feel angry. i’m living in a country that would rather see me six feet under, that would rather put a bullet between the valley of my eyebrows and wish me nothing but pain. dear george floyd, the man with a family, with friends, with a job, with a life, with a plan, with a heart, with a soul. you’re more than a hashtag, you’re more than a video. dear oscar grant, dear trayvon martin, dear philando castile, dear ahmaud arbery, dear sandra bland, dear eric garner, dear mike brown. i’m sorry america failed you. i’m sorry you were living in a country that has preached to be built on the ideology of freedom and justice for all, yet you died without either. i’m sorry that i’ve lost track of my black brothers and sisters, that your names all just blend together in my head. that i sit here and scream because i feel like i’m drowning and everyone is watching but no one is saving me. i’m tired of educating. i’m tired of explaining why my voice is hoarse and my fists are bleeding. but one thing will never change. i won’t ever stop fighting. because i love black people with everything in me. and i see you. and i’m sorry. i’m sorry the country that you love has never loved you back. i’m sorry the shackles of oppression and racism are still tightly bound on our wrists. i’m sorry america failed you.
jacobvanloon
tangentwithtanner
amandla
pixelskylines
kianamaiart
izzy806
snowghoul
