She tried to focus on what he was saying, but every time she glanced over to her right she saw the bed. The bed where IT happened. The bed she reluctantly had to sleep in again for the next few days.
Her face was being slammed down into the pillow so hard she thought her nose had been broken.
No. No, that’s not what was currently happening. He was saying something about how she didn’t listen and she did whatever she wanted. She was trying to plead with him to get him to understand where she was coming from. He wasn’t budging.
Another slam. This time blood. She bit down on her tongue and the blood trickled out into three symmetrical dots onto the white sheets. She wasn’t sure why she always remembered the pattern of the blood, but she did. She would later lie and say the blood was from the dog. The dog was sick. Kathleen wouldn’t think twice about it. It was an easy lie.
She shook her head. Tried to refocus. Eat your sushi she told herself. She tried, but her appetite was gone. It tasted like cardboard. What a waste of money.
She was running out of energy and patience. Her voice cracked. She started to cry. He laughed.
No. That’s not what was being said.
“I am begging you, please, just take them down.”
“The damsel in distress.” He repeated for the third time that night.
Her heart sank. She felt hollow. Her head was spinning. She didn’t know what to focus her hurt and anger on. There was so much to be angry about.
He promised her he would never hurt her. Against her better judgement she believed him. And yet here he was digging the knife in deeper and deeper.
How could he be so cruel? Sure, she skimped on the details of how IT happened, but he still knew. He said he would never forget what happened to her and where, but he decided to torment her to anyway.
She knew that even if he relented and gave into her requests she would feel no peace. The damage had been done. That’s how he saw her. As someone whose trauma and feelings were something to be mocked. How could she ever confide in him again? He would just think she’s being helpless and attention seeking again.
She got no sleep that night. Not that she thought that she would.
He had hurt her but she wanted to talk to him anyway.
“I took several Xanax’s tonight and I’m still unable to sleep.”
She regretted the text the second she pressed send. She was looking for comfort, for understanding, for love. But he would just see the poor damsel in distress.
His replies the next morning confirmed her beliefs. He was cold. He was mocking. The sarcasm dripped from his voice. She started to cry, silently at first, but they soon grew louder and uncontrollable.
“I have to go” he said. “I have to go.”
areudirty
gracieabrams
gummygunk
ellievsbear
stormborns
titsay