For the past few days, I was away from the city visiting family. During this time, I discovered Day Time Television. I’m not usually one to care or even listen to a show that discusses what celebrities are doing or not doing, but when your mother and grandmother are sitting around a television, it will make you all ears. The host of the talk show began to discuss Lea Michele, the former star of Glee. Lea was in a relationship with her co-star, and he tragically died of an overdose in 2013. About a year later, she said she had “found love again” and still remains with her new partner. The debate was in reference to her beloved fans berating her for moving on.
Everyone who was around me a year after Joe had died knows there was no way in hell I could begin a relationship with someone else. In comparison to Lea; the circumstances surrounding Joe’s death, my role in his life and death, and our relationship was entirely different. The fact is, she also experienced a devastating loss of a companion at a tragically young age. There was quite some time when I would have preferred to sit in my pain, not move forward, ward off any potential love interest, and just simply sulk. However; for Lea to have found someone to love and love her, and also help her during an intense time in her life makes me a little jealous.
The death of a spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend is something that very little can relate to. It’s not a divorce. It’s not a break-up. It is literally a fucking bomb that explodes out of nowhere and leaves you with the feeling that your life is ruined. Judging how and when you attempt to move forward with your life is far from the positivity that any person surviving this bomb needs to experience. It actually makes matters worse, as something like this will leave a person with anxieties and insecurities that were never before present.
I wanted to hate life after Joe died. I tried pretty hard to not allow anyone close to prevent any additional pain, because I thought that it would just absolutely kill me. There is a point when you need to realize that sitting in pain and anger will actually just ruin your life. Anyone’s deceased loved one would not want to watch those they had left behind destroy themselves.
Surprisingly up until today- I probably would have chosen to continue to ward people off, freak them out, and grow into an old bitter bitch. When listening to this show, I could care less about what outsiders and fans were saying to Glee’s former star. Instead, I was hit pretty hard with the plot twist of her life. Lea chose to find happiness and attempt to share it with someone else. She could have sat in her pain, forged a path of self destruction, and completely given up on life. There may be nights when she has a long cry over a glass of wine, but she has chosen to live and love. I guess not all celebrity gossip these days is complete horse shit.
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