Baby, You're Like Lightning In A Bottle

I lost my mind. It's somewhere out there stranded. I think you stand under me if you don't understand me.

[the-emblematic]

So apparently a lot of Twitter users are jumping ship and coming here (which is hilarious) and I’ve seen a lot of “welcome to tumblr” posts going around (also hilarious)

But I don’t think I’ve seen a single one address how clout works on this app. Namely that it doesn’t exist. There’s no verification system. There’s no way to check how many followers someone else has. You can have 5 followers or 500,000 and no one is going to care either way.

Also, simply being on tumblr negates any clout you may have elsewhere. Taylor Swift uses this app. No one cares.

Yes this is a selling point

[no-chill-at-all]

[no-chill-at-all]

[captain-snark]

this poor man

[ky-ju-deactivated20231122]

I feel like practicing any skill would be way more fun if I could have a lil level increase thing that pops up in front of me every time I do good like in Skyrim

[ky-ju-deactivated20231122]

“Push ups increased to level 5”

“Writing dialogue increased to level 37”

“Coping mechanisms (healthy) increased to level 18”

[mothmanismyuncle]

buying too many snacks at the gas station increase to level 98

[pseudomantis]

cracks open a piece of amber and the bugs inside crawl out and walk away completely normal

[junebugzzz]

[retrogamingblog2]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thenatsdorf]

Boy reunited with lost dog. [source]

[nunyabizni]

[black-in-kansas]

[this-is-milo-deactivated2022022]

That transition from “what” to “oh” got me

[cweercrippledcrafter]

For anyone interested, he’s 14 and she’s 2 years old (his 12th birthday present), and she’d been missing for two and a half weeks so they’d basically given up on finding her.

[heart]

sometimes i wonder if in a previous time, you’ve ever passed by someone you’re close to now. like what if your best friend now, you passed by them at a grocery store when you were 5 and didn’t know. or like you passed by your future soulmate at a popular tourist attraction somewhere 10 years ago

[lessthansix]

[ratfuck]

next covid stimulus package is gonna be a fucking poster of a cat hanging on to a tree branch with “hang in there!” written in comic sans

[charlesoberonn]

All I’m saying is there’s 7.6 billions of us and only one God. We could take him out if we want to.

[charlesoberonn]

Too bad he’s so high up, we couldn’t possibly reach him.

[charlesoberonn]

Wait, I just had an idea.

It’s gonna take a lot of construction work, though.

[harbingerofsorrow]

Hey, we’ve already got it started in Florida, just come join me we’re almost Λορεμ ιπσθμ δολορ σιτ αμετ, ηασ ει vιδισσε δισπθτανδο cομπλεcτιτθρ, σιντ λαορεετ ιντερπρεταρισ εαμ ιδ.

[futuremoji]

Your most recent emoji will be your reaction to being cancelled

[idolizethelightinyoureyes]

😂

[najd-social-club]

Cleaning your entire room after being sad for a while is a different type of glow up

[neutralbacteria]

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

[mayuzane]

When the referee just realized you made an illegal move

[musings-of-a-monster]

Before COVID shut the library down, I was helping a little boy and his mom find books.

“What do you like to read about?” I asked. “Dinosaurs!” This is common request, but can mean different things, “Okay. Do you want a story about dinosaurs, or facts about dinosaurs?” “Facts.” I took him to the dinosaur section (567.9) of the juvenile nonfiction. He picked out a couple books, and I asked him if there was anything else he was looking for. “Do you have anything on DNA?” I had to think about that for a second. “I think so…but I’ll have to look it up.” The boy beamed, “I want to find out how DNA works, so I can bring them back!” “We just saw Jurassic Park,” his mom explained with a smile that did not waver when she added, “We didn’t learn anything.”

[maxtothemax]

the types of media i like can be placed in one of two categories:

type 1: oh my god this thing is amazing, i love it, i could go on hours long rants about how well executed it was. it has its faults but overall it's excellent.

type 2: i didn't say it was good, i said i liked it

[dolleyeresponse]

concept: all normal checkouts are replaced with self-checkouts but instead of losing their jobs the cashiers now get to sit on top of lifeguard chairs and periodically throw wine glasses at me like dracula while i buy my goods

[llonelyrollingstarr]

what is a customer? a miserable little pile of coupons