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🩸💔🩸

[idontknowshitbutu]

Can someone just be my friend pls

[echoesofsaturn]

"slut era" i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past

[idontknowshitbutu]

Can’t I just be loved the way I love?

Can’t I just be held for once?

[achillesinhighheels]

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

[idontknowshitbutu]

Why do I attract people who won’t let me love them ?

I want to drown in someone

I want to feel important

To feel loved the way I love

Am I not worthy?

Am rotten?

Maybe I’m just not meant for it

Maybe I’m stuck here forever

[alizahawthorne]

june 15, 2025

i cannot breath. it is as if every negative thought i have ever had has taken residence in my chest.

[idontknowshitbutu]

I’m done with this

[idontknowshitbutu]

Turns out I’m still fucking alone and depressed with out actually being alone this time why can’t I be loved the way I want ever

[idontknowshitbutu]

I need to know why I’m so unloved

Is it my fault for being myself?

Am I too much?

or too little…

Should I shrink even more then I already do

Or be bigger than everyone else

Should I just be the girl you want me to be?

Even though…

The comfort of that sweet darkness keeps tugging at my hand

It’s cool embrace just beckoning for my return

It’s getting harder to fight it off again

So maybe I need to become someone I don’t recognize

Then maybe… just maybe the darkness will go away

And I’ll be free

Or maybe this is just the end

[idontknowshitbutu]

Why…just why did you even talk to me?

Why couldn’t you have just ignored me and and went on with your life like before…

You were a stranger…

Then, someone I thought I knew deeply

Now you’re a ghost of my memory

Like the distant smell of your pillow

In the back of my brain like a cancer

Your hands on my skin is just a vagueness now

Twisting my stomach harder and harder

Until I imagine the cool release of this reality

Then I fall back

And I remember

I do not accept this ending

[idontknowshitbutu]

Did it feel this way for you? Did my arm around your back while we slept make your stomach churn the way his does to mine? Did my words ever disgust you? Did you feel annoyed when I gave myself to you? Did you ever even like me?

[idontknowshitbutu]

This just can’t be how it ends with you.

[perfectfeelings]

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.”

— Kim Culbertson

[idontknowshitbutu]

I need to speak to you. I need to see you you. I feel it so deeply it’s reaches a dark well in my soul I can’t bear to acknowledge.

Thinking about you feels like a feral animal has locked its teeth into my neck and it spits all the blood and pain in my face all over again and again and again.

I have never felt this pain before and it’s so brutally ugly but so painfully beautiful

[gregorkingofthedead]

\\Please don't leave me.\\

[tulsajesusfrk]