HEY I just wanted to say, I was sick the last few days and my adhd not-medicated brain vaguely remembered some tumblr post about the secret history and a rabbit hole (no wait not that) later I ended up re-reading your whole 'idon'treadthesecrethistory' blog the last few days (I was the url heenrywinter then!) and wooow nostalgia boy did it take me back. it was such a good ride I just wanted to say thanks and also how was that so long ago? and I hope you're well and happy!
I remember your url!!! I hope you're feeling better! And you're so very welcome.
I made idontreadthesecrethistory on a whim while procrastinating on homework in the library my last semester of college, because two of my online friends were constantly talking about the book and I wanted to stay in conversation with them, but had no time to read the book. It is possibly the best split-second decision I have ever made, and it means the world to me--genuinely-- that it had enough of an impact on my readers (!) that they have nostalgia about it (!!), because it had a huge, positive, and unexpected impact on my life.
Like I said, I started The Blog my last semester of college. I had just turned 22. I had also just ended a 3 year relationship, which was, with a few very brief exceptions, my first relationship. I didn't know what I wanted to do outside of school, except maybe be a freelance writer, and I had no idea how to go about that. When I took a professional, non-college class about 4 years later in the hope of figuring it out, it was useful, but useful in that it made me realize "uuuum, yeah, it's not actually worth all this bullshit to me when ultimately less eyes and feedback are gonna be on it than if I just posted it for free on social media." But despite knowing it was not only the right choice for me, but the choice I wanted, it still felt a little bit like giving up on a dream. And a big help with me getting over that fallacy was knowing that I could have an online presence and a following and fans of my work-- because I'd already done it. My two friends were the only people I'd even seen talking about The Secret HIstory, and they mostly did it on Twitter. i already knew I could build something out of nothing with my own talent, so all I really had to decide was if i wanted to put all this extra energy into trying to get paid for it-- and i didn't want to. That extra level of security in my own abilities-- especially when it was boistered by people, 4 years after the original run of the blog, said they would still be interested in me doing another project when I proposed it to them. Like, that just means everything to me.
I turned 30 about 2 weeks ago. Life isn't perfect-- this ask cheered me up in the middle of having to hold back tears from a work-related anxiety attack-- but it's waaaaaaay better than I feared back when I was about to leave college. I'm still friends with both of the two friends whose Secret History talk inspired me to create the blog, and talk to one daily. I made two very, very close friends from the blog (I will always remember the feeling of basking in the warm sun in one friend's pool after I flew out to visit, and thinking to myself, my writing got me here.). We also talk near-daily. I have a job that lets me work from home, pays enough above minimum wage that I can afford a rundown apartment by myself, and allows me to get paid to help people-- which is really what I want to do to earn money, if we insist on this capitalism bullshit sticking around. I'm going to another friend's pool on Saturday for her babyshower, and I have an (outdoor, well-ventilated) date on Sunday. I'm not used to it, but: I think I am actually happy. I hope you are, too. I hope every reader of that blog is. And if they are not, remember: this is NOT the only story you will ever be able to tell.
P.S.: While many people send/sent asks to idontreadthesecrethistory, I very literally would NOT have been able to keep the blog going if it weren't for then-tumblr-user sluttywidow. I don't know that person's current url, but as far as i'm concerned, they're a co-author (or at the very least, the equivalent of an executive producer, lol.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLlsmB1D4Q0
