I don't want someone who talks about the weather.

I’m cool but I also cry a lot.

[idontwantsmalltalk]

my new life motto ❤️‍🩹

[idontwantsmalltalk]

vor 3 jahren starb mein vater.

vor 1 jahr wurde ich vergewaltigt.

ich weiss wirklich nicht, wie ich es geschafft habe heute noch hier zu sein.

ich weiss nicht, wie ich es schaffe jeden tag aufzustehen. zu funktionieren, aber auch zu leben. weiterzuleben. ich wusste nicht, dass ich so stark bin. ich bin so stolz auf mich.

manchmal versteh ich was diese worte bedeuten. verlust. vergewaltigung. und dann werde ich taub oder bekomme eine panikattacke.

aber die meisten tage vergesse ich was passiert ist. verdränge es. ignoriere es.

irgendwie bleibt mir keine wahl, als einfach weiterzuleben. deshalb mache ich das halt.

[idontwantsmalltalk]

[idontwantsmalltalk]

“To survivors, your trauma is completely valid. Don’t let a run in with your abuser take your personal power away from your healing journey.”

- Sabrina Ftouhi

read an article and the last words is all I needed to hear!! ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

I saw him yesterday. I feel like it happened again. I walked away while having a panic attack and paranoia the rest of the day. I am so anxious that I will see him again bc we live in the same small city. I am so tired of scanning everytime, everywhere. Seeing him made me realise how real my fear is and how easy I could ran into him again. I don’t want to see him ever again. I will move to another city but only in a few months. I also hate that he drives me out of my own hometown.

[traumasurvivors]

It doesn’t matter what you were wearing. It doesn’t matter whether you were drinking or not. It doesn’t matter whether you fought back or froze. It doesn’t matter whether your emotions flooded out and you lost it or whether you were numb. It doesn’t matter if you reported or kept it quiet. It doesn’t matter if you became sex repulsed, or hypersexual or even both after. It doesn’t matter what your attacker’s gender was. It doesn’t matter what your gender is.

None of these things matter when it comes to whether you’re valid or not.

You are valid. Your emotions are valid. You have nothing to be ashamed about. You are not dirty. And it was not your fault.

I promise.

[idontwantsmalltalk]

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

somr days i sadly have to remind me about this.

[idontwantsmalltalk]

[idontwantsmalltalk]

[idontwantsmalltalk]

i can’t wait until this year is over

[jetlagsuffication-deactivated20]

[idontwantsmalltalk]

this.

[idontwantsmalltalk]

my healing song ❤️‍🩹

[shuttmyeyess]

[melanchol1e-deactivated20250809]

[sandmandaddy69]

[sappharic]

PTSD be like

[idontwantsmalltalk]

had to laugh bc of this

[vexheart]

[idontwantsmalltalk]

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[idontwantsmalltalk]

“I was going to die, sooner or later, whether or not I had even spoken myself. My silences had not protected me. Your silences will not protect you.... What are the words you do not yet have? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own need for language.”

- audrey lorde

[idontwantsmalltalk]

“My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you. But for every real word spoken, for every attempt I had ever made to speak those truths for which I am still seeking, I had made contact with other women while we examined the words to fit a world in which we all believed, bridging our differences.”

- audrey lorde

[purpleblu-e]

Mein Körper ist ein Tatort.