Uses of The Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde; there is nothing more erotic than experiencing life at its fullest, beyond external parameters.
Audre Lorde's essay, an exploration of the true meaning of the erotic, explained everything I knew about love and vulnerability through a new lens of sensuality and erotica. In the work, she defines the Erotic from its Greek origins, derived from the God of love, son of Aphrodite, Eros, who perfectly personified prolific power and polyphony. This piece underscores the importance of living within outwardly, using vulnerability as a breakthrough from inner suppression, and not aiding our collective enemy in our destruction by denying ourselves enjoyment. It's exploring indulgence with intention, pleasure without punitive psychological parameters, and contentment with curiosity and commitment.
Living within outwardly means to act within the interests and enjoyment of yourself, and to nurture yourself first to better show up for others, so the connection is sustainable for all parties. When we feel love, joy, and respect within ourselves, we are more easily able to illuminate those feelings to the people around us without feeling drained. Because when self-abnegation prevails, we become more prone to not show up for ourselves and by extension our community, that self-denial and shame suppress the Erotic within us and allows sorrow to fill the emptiness. Shamefulness—ascetic behaviors especially exasperate—does not provide an effusive enough root system for love and pleasure to bloom, only acceptance of the Erotic can. What it means to be truly liberated and living within outwardly means leveraging the Erotic within yourself, then radiating its rays to the people around you more radically.
Insecurity is one of the mightiest weapons against all relationships; romantic ones where trust and compatibility are put to question, friendships that are more competitive than a coterie, and family dynamics that are dysfunctional at best and destructive at worst. All of these relationships could be rectified once every individual adopts living within outwardly. This process will look different for everyone, but I believe simply taking this step to self-alignment will allow those once dysfunctional dynamics into radical relationships built on long-term connections and not short-term denialism and resentment.
"But when we begin to live from within outward, in touch with the power to inform and illuminate our actions upon the world around us then we begin to be responsible to ourselves in the deepest sense." (pg. 14)
Vulnerability as an act of power is how we begin to live from within outward and live life more erotically. "To be loved is to be known" is a common internet idiom of recent times. I take this phrase as the most loving, erotic action one can do is to know nuggets of their partner's character so fluently through curiosity and the willingness to learn. I think of the best moments in a romance book where the main characters are learning about each other, bantering past first impressions, and looking deeply within one another to fortify a connection. But, to achieve this, one must surrender to be known first.
To create a space to be vulnerable with others, you must first know yourself and allow the Erotic to become a foundational part of your life. The true power of the Erotic is exploring and expressing a previously doormat or unrecognized feeling with yourself and then sharing it with others. Utilizing vulnerability as an act of power means realizing those doormat feelings, understanding why they exist inside of you (question why that need has been unmet), and then using it holistically through systematizing with our needs and wants. When we look within ourselves and allow beloveds to do the same, we can actualize the extent to which we are capable of, and when we reach that space of satisfaction and enjoyment of living wholly, we can apply that to every facet of our lives. And that feeling is overwhelmingly powerful.
"The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire." (pg. 10 )
"Our erotic knowledge empowers us, becomes a lens through which we scrutinize all aspects of our existence, forcing us to evaluate those aspects honestly in terms of their relative meaning within our lives. (pg. 13)
Throughout the essay, Lorde emphasizes why unblocking this power of the Erotic is so paramount for women's liberation, and why its suppression by our patriarchal and racist enemies is due to them realizing the power before we do. We have been raised to keep ourselves smaller so those who benefit can live in the illusion of being taller. When you suppress or deny yourself the satisfaction of the erotic, you are directly aiding in that shrinking, tantamount to how your enemies do. When suppression and denialism prevail and fester inside the body—filling in the absence of the Erotic—they evolve into self-resentment and hatred. Why focus on hating yourself in a society that has made its mission to keep you suppressed and subservient?
Lorde encourages women to explore the Erotic through vulnerability, sensuality, connection, and creativity because, in doing so, empowers us enough to fight against the system that oppresses us. Suppression of happiness keeps us docile due to the dependence on sorrow rather than the hope for joy and growth. This, in turn, makes us more vulnerable to how the world already denies women satisfaction and makes us more acceptable to concepts absent from the Erotic—abuse and exploitation. Fully realizing your power as a woman and examining all the possibilities of yourself is the most liberating thing you can do. This is the true reason why this resource of the Erotic is prone to being vilified, abused, and devalued. As long as we still operate within the box they create, collective liberation will remain fanciful, despite it being so achievable once realized. That fear of evolving is what keeps us from breaking free of this vicious cycle, and them continuing to be indiscriminately powerful.
"The fear of our desires keeps them suspect and indiscriminately powerful, for to suppress any truth is to give it strength beyond endurance. The fear that we cannot grow beyond whatever distortions we may find within ourselves keeps us docile and loyal and obedient, externally defined, and leads us to accept many facets of our oppression as women." (pg. 14)
There is nothing more erotic than being vulnerable and understood by like-minded people who make life radically sweeter. When we begin to live within outward, stay in touch with our internal desires, and allow theses wants to show in our connections with others, we begin to take back the claim of our lives. When we fear enjoyment and love, we deny ourselves the possibility of bettering our tomorrows. For our collective betterment, let us put down denialism and pick up curiosity and fulfillment of oneself through radical action.
•Started: May 29th, 2026. Finished: May 29th, 2026
• Fifth Read of 2026
• Words from the story used in this report: abnegation, tantamount, ascetic
• Article I read that helped me understand deeper: X
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