If You Keep Making That Face

And Other Oddities in Art History

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I’ll make you a covenant you can’t refuse . . . Madonna and Child statue. Museu Frederic Marès. Barcelona, Spain.

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Ooh, ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Altarpiece depicting the resurrection, Bayeux Cathedral, Bayeux, France

#ResurrectionJitters

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Crucifixion selfie! Is it weird if I put my hand here? Christ Crucified with Joseph of Arimithea, originally from Església de San Millán de Porquera de Butrón, Burgos, late 13th or early 14th c. Museu Frederic Marès, Barcelona, Spain.

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When you’ve got it, flaunt it.

Musei Capitolini. Rome, Italy.

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Shoot THAT way.

Mestre de Soriguerola, Altarpiece of St Christopher (detail from panel depicting martyrdom of St Stephen), early 14th c. Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya. Barcelona, Spain.

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NEVER GET THEM WET

Grotesque, Church of Saint-Jean de Caen, Caen, France

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Smile! Oh God, no, don’t smile.

Roman mosaic, 3rd century, Archaeology Museum of Catalonia, Barcelona, Spain

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Excuse me while I vomit . . .

Gargoyle. Bayeux Cathedral. Bayeux, France.

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I hope you can see this because I’m doing it as hard as I possibly can.

Equestrian Statue of Charles Alexander of Lorraine. Grand-Place, Brussels, Belgium.

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That’s gotta hurt.

Stained glass window depicting the downfall of the Old Covenant. Musée de Cluny. Paris, France.

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And the nominees for best derp face are . . . The Met Cloisters.  New York, NY, USA.

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Your guess is as good as mine.  Garbage can. Aachen, Germany.

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Medieval Shrek? Grotesque head. Palau de la Generalitat, exterior. Barcelona, Spain.

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I’ve heard of shooting yourself in the foot, but this is next level. Retable of St Michael (detail) from the shrine of Penafel, c. 1410-1420. Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya. Barcelona, Spain.

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Enjoy Valentine’s Day, however you choose to spend it. Limestone corbel depicting two . . . acrobats, c. 1150-1200. From the Benedictine monastery of Notre-Dame-de-la-Grande-Suave near Bordeaux. The Met Cloisters. New York, NY, USA.

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When your bestie talks for so long that your smartphone breaks your wrist.

Alabaster statue of St Fiacre. Mid-15th c. The Met Cloisters. New York, NY, USA.

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Thanos snap! Altarpiece from the church of Sant Martí de Gia, second half of 13th century. Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya. Barcelona, Spain.