The destructive power of Caucasian smiling was first demonstrated when Hernan Cortes and a band of nearly 3,000 Sonrientadores smirked their way through the Yucatan peninsula in 1520, utterly annihilating a force of nearly 300,000 Aztec war-drummers after standing five feet apart from them doing absolutely nothing in front of the gates of Tenochtitlan.
In 1872, 4,000 Zulu musicians tried to overwhelm a British garrison of 150 at Rorke’s Drift, only to be repulsed with over 500 casualties after the surrounded, injured, and exhausted men stood guard and grinned non-stop for well over twelve hours.
Most devastatingly, in 1899, an uprising of well over 400,000 Chinese nationalists in Beijing was crushed when 6 European colonial powers, the US, and the empire of Japan deployed a force of well over 50,000 pro-life high school students wearing hats with nationalist slogans on them to walk into Beijing and smile at all of the Boxer Rebels. The Chinese, thinking that mental discipline and wushu skills would render them immune to Western emotional abuse, were nonetheless forced to capitulate under the onslaught, and the ensuing national humiliation would eventually lead to the total collapse of the Qing dynasty.
