waking up
you don’t know what day it is, know what time it is
but you know that it is too early,
too early to get up, to think.
it’s time to go to sleep again but you can’t
it’s too light outside, it’s too cold,
your dream is waiting for you
dragging you back in
but you can’t.
it’s the wrong day, it’s the wrong time
you can’t go now, you can’t leave
you haven’t even gone to sleep yet.
yesterday is now today and now today is tomorrow
it’s too bright, it’s too cold
if you leave now then you won’t be able to come back.
it will be night again
with the wind howling
and your brain screaming, ringing with thoughts
your eyes are peeled open, your joints aching, your feet cold and numb
you lie there waiting and thinking and waiting and tossing and turning and waiting and thinking
until it’s time to wake up
was you asleep?
were you dreaming?
you want to go back
it’s too early
not now
please not now
but it’s time
it’s the wrong time
