You know this about you, Nutbuster Guy.

#I hate you.#nutbuster #op.

@ihatejnutbuster

@iloveihatejnutbuster Do your math homework instead of embarrassing me online.

i’m only doing my homework if you do yours.

Fine. Truce until we both finish. Come over and we can do it.

Cryptic.

as usual, dude, you are overthinking it. this doctor has a really pained expression on her face, known as a cringe, so it looks like she doesn’t want to be at the doctor’s office, which is relatable because i did not want to be there either!

God I fucking love you. Do your fucking homework.

The Sexy Nic Cage Banana shirt–an artifact of great power, it draws me to it, and I succumb. $30 vanishes from my paypal. A t-shirt is printed and packaged. A mail-man cusses as he drops it, his hands full of stupid bullshit he doesn’t care about. I wait. When it arrives, it will be thrice my size, big and baggy and meant for another man. I’ll give it to him, and he will never wear it; I will. I won’t give it back, come hell or high-water, I will hold onto his shirt like I bought for myself. But anyone could tell, it was his first.

jeeeeeez dirk just buy one for both of us??

No.

@iloveihatejnutbuster Do your math homework instead of embarrassing me online.

@ihatejnutbuster hey dirk, STOP POSTING ALL OF OUR PRIVATE MOMENTS ONLINE!!!

It wouldn't be a fucking problem if you wouldn't attach our fucking names to everything.

Can we teach Bophades to sing the Mouth Moods album but with a Matt McConaughey vocaloid?

Nutbuster, spoken, 20 April 2017 (via ihatejnutbuster)

update: we totally can!! busting makes him feel good.

(via iloveihatejnutbuster)

*Bustin'

it’s not over until it’s over, dirk!

It'll be over when I delete your blog.

He made me push him on the tire swing for ten fucking minutes. Do you know how heavy he is? He’s short, but he’s a big dude, and a lot of that bulk is muscle mass. Gotta weigh at least twice what I do, and likely more. It wasn’t like I could tell him he’s too fucking heavy, or that my arms were about to snap, so I had to keep doing it until he released me from service to the swing king.

you have not done your service to the swing king. i demand a tire swing on every tree and to be pushed at least once daily on each one!

all hail the swing king!

haha, really though, you have very twiggy arms for a guy who says he works out a lot.

Can you mind your own business maybe? Maybe I'm not genetically inclined to being yoked like you, jackass.

@iloveihatejnutbuster Stop what you're doing, ya fuckin' animal. I don't care how many memes(monosyllabic) you've reblogged onto my posts, I will end you.

To recap: Nutbuster has played keep-away with his phone all day, and I don't know what he's saying about me on tumblr, and now I can't find out because I'm doing homework with the Wiz. I'll crack his case ASAP, but that won't be until I get an opening to sneak a peek at his phone.

I tried to review my blog one last time before the Wiz makes me give up my phone for the night, and deleted my last post.

#op.#not nutbuster

“Stop being nosy!” he tells me, shoving his stupid tiny hand in my face and pushing me away.

I’ll get you, you fucking dick. I’ll get you if it’s the last thing I do.

Who’s on tumblr now, you goddamn hypocrite?