You & Me @ihateutheniloveu - Tumblr Blog

I ran and ran. Ran from my demons. Ran from my thoughts. Ran from the sinkhole that is trying to swallow me. Ran from the quicksand that is trying to pull me under. Ran from the wave that is trying to drown me. And as I ran, my demons sat and laughed. They laughed because they know all this running won't save me.

Without you I have been able to experience more than if you were by my side. I was broken because of you, I was forced to live with pain because of you , I know what love is because of you. With every passing day you become more of a memory than a feeling and I’ve learned to understand that. I don’t know where we stand but in my head you don’t hate me, because we loved each other so strongly and that hating me would mean I am dead to you, I just know you that well. I am letting you go, I need my heart to do the same.

psychonaut99

Mëöw

And just like that the spell is broken. My pumpkin turning into a car, he finally sees me for me and yet I have to run because my shoes can’t fall. I can’t leave anything behind for fear of trying to see him again.

And yet how dare you…how dare you talk about him like he’s better than me. You talk about him in the sweetest way. You consider his feeling more than mine. When I am gone will you do that for me? I doubt it, because you know I am stronger than that. Everyone thinks I am stronger than that.

You didn’t think I was obsessed with you. Obsessed on how you smelled, obsessed with your touch, obsessed with your hugs, obsessed with your cock, obsessed with how you made me feel. I hate that you didn’t see it. You didn’t let me see it.

And I just became the guy who couldn’t get over it. If I would have seen past my broken head will we have been better off? Or will you have broken up with me when you were done with me? Have I made you feel the way you made the others feel?

You didn’t even have a nickname for me…

manderley

Wild Reeds (1994)

“A hui hou”

I don’t want to be fucked up anymore...

Do you ever feel like it’s not going to get better? They always tell us it’s going to get better but what if it doesn’t. What if it all just stays a mess, and shit is just fucked up. Are we lying to ourselves if we try and fix things? Is it just a facade so we can go to Birthday party and continue to lie to each other. Why do I need to spend time with people who hate what I am. I can’t change that and I will never satisfy them with who I am. Why bring myself to that. Why do I want it all to crumble? I want this to fall so hard that it breaks and it can’t be fixed. I am watching it fall off the table, I just hope it breaks into a million pieces.