How are you, really?

i like analyzing things

[haydenpanettieres]

MAYANS M.C. ↣ 3.09 “The House of Death Floats By”

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Emily & Miguel: Power & control

This post is long - REALLY LONG. I’ve tried to reduce it and separate it - but it’s not really working. So here goes. It’s centered around Emily and Miguel and the power imbalance between them and the abusiveness that he displays. I hope it’s somewhat interesting and not to hard to follow - if you read it in full that is.

The initial power imbalance There are several aspects in Miguel’s and Emily’s relationship that creates a power imbalance between them. First, and probably the one that relates to every other imbalance in their relationship, is the fact that she’s a woman. That doesn’t really need any further explaining. Women are generally seen as the weaker sex and there’s a long since decided role for women that still has deep roots in our society and in Emily’s life it’s very prominent. Dita displays dislike about Emily involving herself in the search for her child for instance. Devante uses a tone that reeks of aw, little girl and Miguel is somewhere in between wanting to be the sole provider and wanting her help.

One more obvious thing is the clear age difference between Miguel and Emily. It’s kinda like a spinn on the stereotypical old husband, young wife trope - except that Miguel, even though he’s no spring chicken, is still relatively young and very attractive. Kurt Sutter and Elgin James are so subtle in the way they decide use a stereotype without stereotyping that if you don’t look closely, you miss it. 

I think they met when Emily was in her final years of college or in law school and Miguel was in the start of his business career - the legal business that is. I have this idea in my head that Miguel tried really hard to impress her and she just rolled her eyes at him. Emily’s smart and strong, opinionated and a fighter, we’ve seen that in season 1 when Emily’s delivered info to Miguel about LO, called Devante out on his misogynistic shit and when she didn’t let herself get intimidated by Potter. She also found the info about the murder of EZ’s mother and called out Miguel’s hypocrisy in season 2. 

At the same time there’s an insecurity within Emily. She’s probably been told several times by her parents that she’s not good enough. When Emily meets Miguel the break-up from EZ is probably still lingering, even if it was awhile ago they ended in a way that never really gave them closure - she didn’t just loose her first love, she lost someone that was a security to her. On top of that she’d lost her baby (yes I say lost because I don’t think she’d have aborted it had the circumstances been different). This probably made Emily more susceptible to Miguel’s charm.

That insecurity is very apparent in season 2 when Miguel starts spending more time with Adelita. He used to worship the ground she walked on, she was his “touchstone” and all of a sudden his work is all about taking Potter down with the help of Adelita and Emily ends up being in the background. There’s a desperation in her actions in that season. She enters territories she’d never actually enter otherwise. She’s so desperate for the Agra Park thing to work because she never chose the cartel, she chose Miguel. 

There’s also a duality with Emily in season 2 - The cartel is, up until the kidnapping of Cristobal, in the background of Emily’s life. She didn’t see, she didn’t hear.  I think she stayed with Miguel in the hopes that he’d liquidate the cartel and go one hundred percent legit but now, he’s rising - he’s making more money and Emily’s spurring him on. Maybe because she wants to be more involved with him, close to him, move Adelita out of the way. She wants to feel needed. It’s a weird dynamic between them, like the abused wife that wants to please her man or something.

Never in control Miguel might’ve initially been a person she found to be what EZ once was - a safe harbor, a home, a lifeline. Not necessarily financial, more emotional. Emily sees Miguels way of treating her with loving words and gifts as affection, maybe she knows that there’s something else under the beautiful exterior, maybe she doesn’t. As Erin said, they choose men that are darkness personified, hinting that they seek it out, it comes naturally - almost as a way to punish themselves for not being good enough. Miguel’s affectionate behavior bleeds into darkness, or maybe his affectionate behavior is actually something sinister altogether - like he feeds on women wanting him, needing him, he uses it to get to them.

In the midst of her vulnerability Miguel displays behaviors of wanting for her to belong to him and no one else, and that’s dangerous and toxic. She doesn’t realize that behavior as problematic until season 2 - even though it starts in season 1 when he propagates to EZ that he need to leave Emily alone - because it complicates things. 

Emily’s very isolated. She has no friends, she’s got no one that’s just hers. Except for EZ when he gets out of prison, and even so, they’re not really friends either. They’re more in limbo than anything. And even though they’ve got a past - she’s got the right to spend time with whoever she wants. Or should have the right. Loyalty to a man does not derive from how few men you’re in contact with as a woman. Emily doesn’t need to go back to her man, or only stay by his side. She’s not Miguel’s property. She’s allowed to have relationships with other men - as long as she’s not actually cheating - and even if she wanted to - she’s could, it doesn’t warrant abuse of any kind.

His want for her to be a housewife - or work close by, offering her a job in his company - is toxic. Why? Well, she’s constantly under his watch, she’s doesn’t have the opportunity to make new acquaintances and friendships without those people having relations to Miguel. If Miguel were to demand information about what a person has spoken to his wife about - they’d tell him - in fear of loosing their job, or their life. Now, had Miguel not displayed other types of weird and controlling behaviors it probably wouldn’t have crossed my mind that she worked for him. It would’ve been fine.

Him having her ride with a platoon and not be left alone is, yeah, you guessed it: TOXIC. Freedom is not something that she has. You might think that Emily, just because she lives in an ocean of money and opportunity that she’s somehow free. She’s not. She has no privacy. And yeah, you could argue that Miguel’s cartel work is dangerous and therefore she needs to be protected - but at what cost? She’s constantly under the watchful eye of Miguel’s lackeys - which becomes more apparent in season 2 when Nestor’s following her every move without her knowing. They work for him - they abide to him. She doesn’t have the ability to do what ever she wants - and when she does, he abuses her, as seen in S01E05. As I said in a post that’s been deleted now: Miguel is, most of the time, abusive without actually doing it himself. He uses his staff to control her.

We’ve never actually seen Miguel give Emily any presents, probably because it’d be very stereotypical of him and Sutter and James want to avoid stereotypes. But I think he’d do something like that, considering his expensive taste in suits, cars and other things - I think he likes showing of how rich he is. 

Miguel comes of as one of those people who’d use presents to stifle someone. The wife’s mad? Get her a meaningless expensive present to shut her up and simultaneously tell her you care for her without actually asking how she’s feeling. She thinks you don’t love her? Diamonds, get her some diamonds. Diamond equals love. Him throwing all kinds of materialistic shit at her is toxic and it doesn’t matter how much he loves her because his behavior ends up being manipulative and controlling every single time. 

The comment you should be grateful feels like something that’d come out of his mouth to (and probably from people on the outside looking in). Not that many women get to live a life in luxury, he’d probably say. Like she should be grateful for something she never really asked for. 

Conclusion This became a long post - probably longer than all my posts so far - combined. There are so many red flags with Miguel and Emily - some of them so subtle you hardly notice them. In the first episode I thought they’d go the whole sugar daddy route which might seem cool and fun in theory. But it’s in fact a very common way for young women to enter prostitution so I’m glad they didn’t go that way with it and display it like it’s no big deal - it’s all fun, look at all the pretty things I get for being a companion. 

Miguel’s abusive behavior is subtle at times and yeah, he loves her and she love him, but it doesn’t matter when the relationship is so unhealthy. Writing this piece has given me a new perspective of the two as well. Emily’s desperate to not loose Miguel - why? Most likely because she’d be on her own otherwise and she’s not really ready for that and Miguel’s behavior is probably something he’s picked up from his childhood and I’m not sure he’s always aware of it. Miguel very insecure. Let’s be honest, no man comfortable within himself would ever restrain a woman’s social circle, career or freedom to roam. 

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what do you think will happen with miguel in season 4?

Thanks for the question! This is gonna be a long one ‘cause I don’t have the ability to keep it short.

This is really hard to answer because honestly, I don't know. This season had many great aspects but I found it to also be really messy. To say the least. I had a harder time following all of the storylines this season, more so than previous ones. 

On one hand I think Elgin James wanted to get rid of what he saw as dead weight from season two. It's about making storytelling more concentrated to a few specific people. Elgin James got rid of some people to move the plot forward, that’s clear but I think some were to compress time for the story he actually wanted tell.

Elgin James got rid of both SOA-members and Mayans from other charters to concentrate his universe to a smaller group of people. He also removed Palomo by having Adelita kill her. He got rid of Palo - who was a great villain - by having his own sister kill him - and with that there was a closure to the David and Taza storyline and a path towards an ending to the Riz storyline. He had Antonia move away and gave an answer to why fans believed that she and Bishop had a relationship. And also, the ones relating to your question, and the biggest conundrum of them all, he might've gotten rid of the Galindo family.

This is where I come to on the other hand. Honestly, I'm not sure that's where Elgin James is going. I have trouble understanding why they'd remove Miguel when nothing's really resolved there about his mother's death or the possibility of him being the brother of Angel and EZ. Then there's the Emily and Miguel storyline that hasn't really been resolved either - at least not in my eyes. It's also weird if Elgin James casts Miguel aside and replaces him with the other cartel leader. Was he called the Gardener or something?

This is really hard to answer. I mean, Miguel can't continue living in Santo Padre, or even in the U.S. if he's wanted by FBI, DEA - you name it. Unless they play the whole, they couldn't find anything on him-card. Which I wouldn't mind. Or perhaps he gets a really good lawyer and the charges are dropped. That could also work.

I would love to see Miguel try and fight to get Emily back - which is weird 'cause I despise toxic romcoms a la The Notebook where a guy can't take no for an answer. But (despite my stance on that issue) I really want it. It doesn't really fit into the show since it's not a romantic drama, but I think we need a bit of that in between all of the violence and darkness - and I think that’s a behavior he’d display. I also want them to fight about who gets what and Emily threatening to go public with information she's got about him. Ultimately I don’t want them back together - he’s toxicity personified - but I want both him and Emily to stay on the show. 

Miguel had and still has, in some aspects, the possibility to be a great ally or villain to the Mayans. Without him they’re not getting any heroine. And if the new rising cartel has gone into a deal with the others - well, then Miguel might be needed to keep Bishop’s crew afloat. I don’t know how though.

I also want him to be Filipe’s son because I want to see him interact with Filipe, Angel and EZ. He had no one after his mother died so that could be really interesting - not to mention finding out EZ is the one who killed her, and that they’re brothers. There’s so much potential. Think about all the funny comments that might come of out of Angel.

I’m not sure you got your question answered with this long post. But I hope so. Danny Pino is wonderful as Miguel Galindo and I think he has a huge fanbase that will disappear if he’s not in season 4 and since the ratings aren’t that great, it would be a crime not to let him continue on. Plus, there’s so much to explore about his character. I want more background story, which we’ve never really gotten much of, and future stories with Emily and his relation to the Reyes.

Maybe someone out there have some other ideas of Miguel in season 4?

[ihavelovednone]

Miguel’s grieving process

I saw a comment somewhere in the Mayans MC-tag where a few users called Miguel a cry baby and I just ... it got me thinking because I don’t feel like he is one. So this is a bit of a rambly, incoherent text about my view of Miguel’s grieving process. Also, long one.

The risk of stereotyping At the start of season 3 I thought that Elgin James just presented a stereotype, the rich businessman cheating on his little housewife. However, I think it goes deeper than that if you really stare it down, pick it apart. Miguel is an emotional human being, you can see it in the way he worries for his kidnapped son in season 1, in the way he worries about Emily slipping away from him in season 2. He was probably taught that crying is a weakness and men aren’t weak. They’re calm and collected, strong, resilient - and if someone wrongs you, you kill ‘em. He’s never learnt how to cope with sadness, loss, anger, or any other emotion that isn’t associated with positivity, that’s clear as day to me. He’s killing people left, right and center and has since season 1. 

Coping mechanisms I don’t think Miguel cheats ‘cause he loves Emily any less, or that’s she’s somehow done something to warrant cheating. No woman deserves to be cheated on. For Miguel, I think it’s a form of escapism, like how people that are depressed or riddled with anxiety sometimes turn to something that gives them comfort or release, something that takes their mind of it for just a second. And yeah, it’s not really a great comparison because it sounds like I’m condoning his behavior - and I’m not - but it’s the only one I got - and the outcome is the same. Escape. Forget. 

I also think one of Miguel’s coping mechanisms is distance, and I have a theory of it being related to anger and guilt. He feels guilty that he’s not broken down like Emily is and angry at his mother for leaving him like that and not reaching out to him - which makes him feel more guilty. Look at the way he distances himself from Emily. He comes home, barely says a word to her, demeans her, and then goes to have a shower and leaves again. He’s pushing her away. I know from my experiences, that sometimes when a person you love dies, you feel guilty after laughing, after feeling joy, love, comfort, whatever.

I also have another theory, and this might seem crazy. But because of the bond Miguel and his mother had, and I’ve touched on this in a different post - here - I think Miguel feels like he should have dibs on the grieving. I think there might be some jealousy there. He’s jealous that Emily’s grieving the way society tells us we should. Sometimes I think Miguel cheats because he can’t stand to see Emily be more broken down than him. 

The grieving process Grieving looks different for all of us. Some of us cry, some of us don’t. And sometimes it differs depending on how the person we’re grieving came to not be in our lives anymore. Dita’s death was traumatic to say the least. It wasn’t like she was just laying there, they’d burned her to a fucking crisp. It’s okay that it takes time. Emily’s somewhere between totally broken down - considering she’s on anti-anxiety medication to get the images of Dita’s body erased from her mind - and ready to get back to normal. She’s sick of the grieving. Probably because she’s gone through the process. 

Miguel copes by escaping to another woman. He wallows in pain and simultaneously puts the grieving process on hold. Every time he feels sad he goes to Palomo, he pushes the feelings of sadness out of the way. He’s not even returning the medical examiner’s calls because he’s so afraid that his mother’s cause of death is what he believes - that she committed suicide. 

Conclusion Some questions have come up whilst writing this piece. Why are we seeing Miguel as a cry baby? I don’t think his cheating ways warrant us to say he’s a cry baby. You gotta see behind the actions to understand that grief is complex. There’s nothing okay with cheating, but for someone like Miguel who’s clearly never learnt to cope with emotions it’s a plausible coping mechanism. Second question, doesn’t it say alot about us when we see a man in this state and automatically want him to get over himself? The stigma around grief is around us all the time. When it comes to Miguel that stigma is, to say the least, loudly expressed. No one’s telling Filipe to get over himself, no one’s telling Bishop to do it either. Also, something else to ponder over - I’ve never seen anyone saying the same about women grieving, why is that?

[haydenpanettieres]

MAYANS M.C. ↣ 3.09 “The House of Death Floats By”

[hvitserkk]

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The Cristobal kidnapping

This is part of my little crazy obsession with trying to analyze Emily’s character. I like doing this thing so I’m gonna continue. Maybe do some of other characters also, to spice it up - have any suggestions? 

Before Emily, in the first episode, is clearly not seen very much. I think there’s a deliberate decision for this from the writers (and producers). It’s to give the audience an idea of her as Miguel’s trophy wife, and for EZ, she’s the girl that got away. She’s supposed to be pure, innocent, the virgin Mary if you will. I think it’s to fool us into thinking she’s just a plot device in Miguel’s and EZ’s respective stories and also make us understand who she was before the kidnapping and how that traumatic event changes her. They ripped her baby from her arms and threatened her with a gun, she was so high on fear and adrenaline that she puked when they shot her bodyguard in the head. She couldn’t have gotten her baby back no matter what she did. Had they killed her, they still would’ve taken him. 

After After the kidnapping, I think she realized how little control she had. I think it just dawns on her that there’s nothing that she can do to get her son back, partly because she doesn’t know anything about the cartel’s work. I don’t think she’s totally unaware that Miguel does illegal dealings, I think they’ve had that conversation about what his dad’s been doing when he took over after his death. Because they were probably together before Miguel’s dad died, that’s the impression I got.

Beyond that, I don’t think Emily has any knowledge. The writers decision to have her be aware but not involved, it’s simple. She’s a woman and stale old men, and by that I mean Devante, don’t want women involved in business like that. Men usually have this idea that women steer with their emotions because they’re emotional beings which, apparently, men aren’t. 

The grieving process And talking of emotions. At first I found it odd that she wasn’t crying, mostly because I cry at everything myself. But then I thought, what does it say about our society, and me specifically, when we judge how people are grieving? Don’t we all act differently in grief? What about considering the stages of grief? Maybe in her head she’s chanting, it’s a nightmare, it didn’t happen, this isn’t happening. Maybe she’s in denial? Or maybe she’s just not a crier? I could go into a rant about the stigma around the right way to act after trauma, the right way to grief or be sad but I’m refraining. It’s hard, but I’m really trying.

The need for control Emily submerging herself into Miguel’s work is to have control over something. Pain or trauma that we can’t control, or feel we can’t control, makes us do that, doesn’t it? We dive headfirst into things we can control, like food intake. For Emily it’s to get involved in Miguel’s job. The just resting approach that both Dita and Miguel suggest clearly isn’t working for her. And that’s also a thing, he doesn’t take her worries seriously. She starts displaying erratic behavior, searching for any clue that can tell her where her son is, going to that square, reaching out to EZ. Anything and everything. 

Do I think Miguel gives her access to everything about his business at this point? No. Just the things that LO has done to affect his dealings. I’ll go into detail about what I think of Emily’s involvement with a cartel boss in another post.

Conclusion I think that Sutter wanted to make her into a different version of Gemma. There are other similarities with Sons of Anarchy on the show, as you well may know. By having LO kidnap Cristobal they gave her an agenda. She’s not props, she has her own purpose from the beginning. She’s there to fight for her son. 

Well, that’s my interpretation of why she starts taking part in Miguel’s work, or rather, taking part in rescuing her son.

[ortizobsessed]

“That’s how I’ve always felt. Like I’m about to be swallowed up by something. I’ve spent my whole life trying to lock it away.”

Ezekiel Reyes - Mayans M.C. S3E9

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ANGEL REYES | MAYANS MC (2018 - ) | 3.10 CHAPTER THE LAST, NOTHING MORE TO WRITE

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My mind’s spinning

I’ve been thinking alot about Miguel and Emily lately since their fate in season 3, and especially the finale, was really dramatic in alot of ways. I kinda wanna break them down into parts and analyze every detail of their relationship. Because there’s so much to explore with them, their dynamic, their individual personas, the changes and their ultimate demise. 

And it’s also because I seem to have a totally different view of them as a couple and individually than other people do. Um, I don’t know. I’m just rambling, sometimes you just have things in your head that you wanna put out into the universe. I’m not the only one, right?

[losaslut]

Laura and Taza Romero in Mayans MC Season 3 Episode 8: 'A Mixed-Up and Splendid Rescue'

[mitchmarnii-deactivated20220325]

endless favorite mayans m.c scenes: [3/∞]

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S03E10 Mayans MC - Steve

I just really wanted to dive into Steve’s suicide and what I liked and disliked about his character and storyline on the show. And as most of you know by now, it’s gonna be a long one so if you don’t feel like reading all of it, I get it.

First of all It was really hard to watch, I gotta say and there was mainly one thing about Steve’s demise that I did not like, which I’ve stated in a short note on my previous blog. I wanna explain my feelings of that scene on a deeper level. And maybe also Steve as a person.

Steve as a prospect seemed off to me from the get go. He didn’t have a record, no knowledge of guns, or violence for that matter. He was clumsy and somewhat awkward. I concluded that maybe he nagged his way into prospecting for the club. I mean, I don’t think there’s a shortage of criminals wanting to establish themselves in organized crime and, also because I think there’s a certain level of status that Motorcycle Clubs hold within that crime-genre, so choosing Steve over someone more qualified (like it’s a job interview - God, I think I need to put the wine down now) is strange to say the least.

He seems to have had a relation to Hank way before Hank became his sponsor. Maybe he was Hank’s neighbor, or maybe his mother’s. I don’t know. But they knew each other somehow.

Prospecting This time Elgin did what I think prospecting for a club might be like, there were constant yelling at Steve about his uselessness, What the fuck, Steve? - which I know seems funny, but it’s not - it’s toxic. Every time the members say something to degrade Steve, they take a piece of him, a piece of his soul. It’s like domestic, psychological violence. The difference is, Steve’s not the female, the wife, and the members aren’t the husband. But nonetheless, it’s got the same effect. It may seem funny to some, when they’re throwing that comment at Steve, but I never really got it. The little comments here and there that breaks a person down little by little, it’s heartbreaking.

Steve was, before he entered the club, a very vulnerable young man with very low self worth and low self esteem, if any. He wanted to belong somewhere, and he thought that the club was what was going to take him to the heights within himself that he wanted to reach. With the club the confidence would automatically come. Like you could drink it out of a bottle. He’d be somebody. Almost like when the nerd gets the makeover and all of a sudden he’s got all the girls wanting him.

Macho culture I think Steve was oblivious to the fact that killing a person, it destroys something within you, it leaves a mark. In Steve, it’s the not being able to sleep, constantly thinking of that persons family that eventually destroys him. There’s probably stress and feelings of shame and fear there that won’t give up and all of a sudden there’s no other options left. Because boys don’t cry.

I think Elgin James did a good job showcasing the impact that killing a person has on someone, because we talk way too little about it. How PTSD occurs and how it manifests. Mostly it’s referred to as something that appears in soldiers. We never talk of the victims of bullying, the people that are victims of gun violence or domestic abuse. We never talk about the police officers, the firefighters, the paramedics, or anyone that experiences something traumatic. We never see these individuals as people that are being exposed to the possibility of experiencing PTSD.

Steve being ignored, no one seeing his clearly distressed persona, the fact that he got more cheers than people trying to reach out and letting him talk about what he experienced, that says a lot about our society and about macho culture. EZ trying to instill his own coping mechanisms into Steve, that says a lot about what’s been instilled in EZ and also society’s view of men as these walking raincoats where "sad feelings” just rolls right of them and down into a puddle on the floor. Again, boys don’t cry.

The suicide What I didn’t like about Steve’s fate was the fact that he committed suicide in the presence of the club members. It seemed to be just for shock value, and to drive EZ’s plot forward. Also, I don’t think many suicides occur like that. It kinda felt like they wanted to do a version of Pyle’s suicide in Full Metal Jacket (Stanley Kubrik, 1987) but failed because it’s unrealistic to the audience.

I think it would’ve been more impactful had Steve got to have his moment, so to speak, more impactful if he had committed suicide in the comfort of his own home. A dark and lonely bedroom would, to me at least, have a deeper impact because that’s where they often take place. It would’ve shown Steve’s inner and also outer loneliness. Because even if he was becoming a member of the club, he really didn’t have many friends and they never really saw him as a “brother”.

Also, as I’ve already mentioned, it really rubbed me the wrong way when they used his suicide to move someone else’s plot forward. EZ could’ve still been impacted greatly by Steve’s suicide. It didn’t have to end like that. The fact that EZ needed to witness a suicide to choose Gaby, that’s for another conversation. All I wanna say is: it takes away from the severity of Steve’s actions. It puts the focus on EZ, not Steve’s pain. It’s almost on the edge of romanticizing suicide.

Conclusion I thought Momo Rodriguez portrayal of Steve’s inner commotion was really moving, he nailed that performance, and it probably would have had the same impact, had it occurred somewhere else. Using suicide like this, to move a character forward, it’s not the way to go. Maybe it has to do with my own relations to suicide that impacts my view of it, I don’t know. It just doesn’t sit right.

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Disclaimer:  When commenting on this post, please refrain from using the term “killed himself/yourself”. Mental illness affects many and suicidality is one of many side effects. Referring to a persons suicide as them “killing themselves” takes away from the severity of the illness. Suicide is never a choice, killing yourself is.

[mitchmarnii-deactivated20220325]

Sarah Bolger as Emily Thomas in Mayans M.C. [3.06 ‘You Can’t Pray A Lie’]

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S03E10 Mayans MC - Emily & EZ ending

So this is my interpretation (and my thoughts) of the scene between Emily and EZ in episode 10, season 3. It’s a lot of text but I had so much to say about it.

Beginning So. Emily shows up at EZ’s trailer and she’s somewhere between scared and hyperventilating. I understand her going to EZ. If it is as Erin said and they lived in an abusive home, EZ was probably the only person she felt safe with outside that house when she was younger, so to me it’s not that weird that when Emily feels scared or unsafe she seeks out the person that was her safety net for so long. Yeah, you could argue that they’ve been over for a decade and that she should keep away from EZ, but when you don’t have anyone (Emily and her sister are clearly not on speaking terms), who else are you gonna go to? Also, EZ hasn’t actually told her to stay away, so how is she gonna know if he wants her out of his life or not?

Emily’s discovering of the bags says a lot about her and EZ as well. You can see on EZ’s face that he’s really not that comfortable when she sees the bags on the sofa/bed. Like he’s feeling a bit guilty maybe? Or perhaps he’s uneasy because there’s still past feelings there? And Emily, she realizes something in that moment too. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about her facial expression shifting. She understands something. What? I haven’t really figured that out yet.

The thing about leaving She asks if he’s going with the girl, yeah, ‘cause she doesn’t actually know her name, and EZ doesn’t really say anything about her name either. It’s to me, weird that he lets a person so significant to him remain anonymous.

EZ explains to her that Angel knows that he’s leaving, and that he’s about to tell his dad and Emily asking if he was going to leave without saying goodbye to her, it isn’t a way for her to emotionally manipulate him but more about a realization within her. Emily used to be the center of EZ’s world and now she realizes how small of a part she has in EZ’s life. The fact that she’s so insignificant that he’s just going to leave without saying anything. And then she’s reminded of the fact that they, since he got out of prison, have had a rocky relationship. Their pasts trying to pull them towards each other and their presents trying to keep them apart.

Her sitting on the bed, among all those bags filled with EZ’s belongings, it’s like she’s now a small piece in EZ’s extensive memory bank, a piece that’ll become even smaller as time goes on and more memories gets stored in there. She’s trying to hold on to the time that she was a part of him, a time when she felt safe and happy, in love, by reminiscing about things they did back then. It’s like that break-up they never got is finally arriving and Emily, bravely, lets him go. EZ’s, I don’t know, maybe he’s not ready for this to come either.

EZ seeing her neck, that’s him portraying his old self, EZ the young boy wanting  to destroy anyone that hurt her. Her saying, it was an accident, I overreacted, it flows from her like water. It’s what she always used to say, maybe to calm him then, just as her words are now.

Symbolism Emily remembers the tarot cards, and I think it symbolizes a lot in Emily’s life. She knew her path, graduate high school, go to college, go to law school, marry EZ, live happily ever after. That moment between them, it’s like they’re together grieving the future they never got. And the symbolism of the soldier, he was her soldier in a lot of ways back then and even after he got out, it was a trained pattern, an instinct in him. Keeping her from that toxic household, keeping her safe and loved, happy. The dying soldier, the death of their relationship. The death of the police officer. EZ going to prison. The death of their unborn baby.

She also mentions how her cards are blank. I think it means that she’s out of the game, she’s done, she’s letting him go and I also think it symbolizes her as a person now, after almost being killed. She’s a clean slate, an empty notebook, a new year, filled with new possibilities. She’s free now. Realizing that Miguel almost killed her, it set something free inside of her, a cage opened within her.

The end of the scene That ending, EZ seeming almost sad, his jaw clenched. It’s like he’s shocked that it’s coming. Like he’s not really ready even though he’s been waiting for it since he got out. They never really got closure. She never went back to that prison after their argument, they never really had that break-up after he got out. Her kissing him, it’s not to try and win him back, it’s to say goodbye, and she does. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful. And it’s so brave of Emily, who’s never really been ready to let go of him, who’s always had a protector, to say that she’ll be fine now. On her own. She can take care of herself, she’s not a little girl anymore, she doesn’t need him. So she’s letting him go.

Emily staying or going? I really like Sarah Bolger as an actress so I want her to stay for that reason and I think this scene shows that something’s shifted inside Emily. Being with her sister, almost dying, it took her back to her roots somehow. I really liked who she was with Erin. Laughing, being carefree. I want to see Emily finally find herself, divorce Miguel and get sole custody of Cristobal. Because she seems like a really good mom and Miguel’s rarely with his son anyway. Maybe she can start a business (she has the skills), and maybe not get married, just live with her sister and son. How she’s supposed to fit into the show, I haven’t figured out in my thoughts yet, but I think she has potential.

I want to explore more of her past, her childhood mostly. If her dad’s this really shitty person, maybe they could bring him in. Maybe he’s a shady business man that EZ encounters when he’s trying to do business with the club and that somehow involves her. I don’t know.

Emily was a great character that got a really shitty re-writing in season 2. She never got a lot of scenes in season 3, except sporadic scenes here and there that, to many, made little to no sense. I think the show runners and the writers thought that they needed to make Emily more ruthless to make her fit in, but I think that was a wrong move and I want her to get to be who she was meant to be before they finish her off. Also, because Sarah Bolger was in the main cast and because of the criticism her character’s gotten, I think she deserves to go out on a high.

[hvitserkk]

Mayans MC  | 3x10 Chapter the Last, Nothing More to Write