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My body is too big for itself and my soul tries to crawl its way out through my mouth, so I bite my tongue and pretend I’m coughing

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Everytime I close my eyes I see you. I hear you saying my name with your sweet voice, singing it like a lullaby, and I melt into the words, sleep on the soft and stretched vowels, I took a nap on your lisp.

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I want to take a nap on the apple of your cheeks so I could stare at your eyes the first thing in the morning.

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Wash my body with the pink soap 4 times, my hair 7, and I still itch with his foreign touch on my skin.

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just so your tired mouth can kiss me every morning, I’d be a mug of coffee

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Coconut and vanilla,

The sweetest torture,

Your hair’s scent,

Drown me in you

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I hated him,

all the contempt in the world bubbled up inside my chest at his playful laugh,

and yet every night,

in the confines of my pink room,

when sleep won’t take me,

it’s his arms around me in my mind

Everytime.

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She laughed and that sound I thought was so ear-grating danced around us, filled the space

It tickled my eardrum

Softer than the piano she played

Lovelier than life itself

Hook, line and sinker, I fell for her

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I want to live, amplify my reason why

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My sun, amber and gloss, your eyes shone like glass, your face read fragile in a big red font, I’ll handle with care

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You caressed my purple bruises with your calloused hands and decided I didn’t deserve them, and all I could think of was how gentler hands hurt me much, much more

I spit excuses for the mottled green, rehearsed, eyes trained to my lap, and I look up, my eyes fall into yours and you read through my bullshit

For someone who didn’t crumble to the taunts and teases and hair pulls and kicks, would you blame me for not expecting to fall apart in your arms?

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I swear by the dearest thing to me; the sunlight bursting out of you, droplets catching onto my face when you’re excited

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Your warm words thaw my frozen bones

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And she was the gentlest creature,

The wind tickled her and tortured me with her mussed hair,

rain showered over her, cascaded down her lips, and assaulted all else,

the world stopped its revolutions when she slept,

my center of the universe, my all and none, my thoughts and love and purpose.

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In the mush of my semi-lobotomized mind, the clearest image is the gap between your teeth when you smile.

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