To the man whose love changed everything
But if you only knew how often your name still reaches from my lips to the gates of heaven
Not in desperation. Not in blame.
But in du'a. In stillness. In moments when the world is loud and yet your absence is louder.
You didn't leave because you wanted to.
You left because you had to. Because your heart was placed in an impossible position, one where love wasn't enough to protect us from what was outside of us.
I know your heart, and I know what it cost you to walk away.
You were the gentlest storm that passed through my life and left everything softer in its wake.
You didn't just love me, you revived me.
Your presence brought me closer to Allah. Your patience made me mend things I'd buried.
You showed me how to lead with love, not ego.
You taught me that strength isn't in silence, but in sujood.
You made me want to be better, not for you, but for the 'us' I prayed for.
And even now, I thank Allah for you.
Because whatever goodness lives in me today, it carries your fingerprints
And you've probably moved on,
Then may Allah place peace in every corner of your life. May He reward you for every act of love you gave me that no one else saw.
May He keep your heart soft and sweet, even if it's no longer beating for me.
There hasn't been a moment where you haven't crossed my mind.
In every quiet pause, in every plan I make, in every small joy I feel, there you are.
Not as a wound, but as a whisper of what once was beautiful.
You're not someone I can replace.
You're not someone I want to replace.
Because what we had wasn't ordinary, it was divinely timed, and deeply felt.
And even now, when I ache for you, I ask Allah to reunite me with you in a way that's clean, and right, and blessed.
If His Qadr writes a different story for you,
Then I pray another woman loves you even better than I did.
That she sees the light in you and guards it with her life.
That she loves you the way you deserve to be loved, fully, gently, with Allah always between you.
Because that's what you gave me, a love that felt like worship.
And if I'm never blessed to feel that again, then Alhamdulilah for having felt it once, through you.
You were a turning point in my life.
Not just a chapter, but the book that taught me how to read my own heart.
You were my answered du'a, even if the answer was temporary.
And now, you are the test I must walk through with sabr and surrender.
I still pray you're written for me.
But if you're not, then may Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
May He make the woman beside you a woman of adab, of warmth, of prayer, the kind of woman I still strive to become.
I'Il keep remembering you with nothing but dignity.
Because when a woman has known a love like yours, she never forgets.
She just hands it over to Allah, and says: Ya Rabb, You know what's in my heart. Write what's best. But if it's him, open every door.
With silent love, loud du'a, and no regrets,
A woman who carries you in every prayer, and always will.
germansingergirl
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