Things by KATH.

I do my own therapy.

[iikreamy]

Writing at 3:00 AM is my self-healing method.

Feel free to drown in my (personal) feelings, thoughts, dreams and words.

Also, ask me anything if you want to.

Meet me at: 💐 Bed of Flowers, 🌊 Ocean of Thoughts.

Sincerely,

K.

[iikreamy]

Can I kill myself?

[iikreamy]

I hate myself so much that becomes disgusting.

[iikreamy]

I could have died. Once.

But I didn't.

My man brought me back. Although I still think about my half-journey to the Hereafter, until now.

Stepped my foot on black liquid - I don't even know whatever that is - water or mercury. Everything is a vast of black and dark. I just could only feel at first, then my eyesight slowly adjusted to something in the noise. Ah yes, the ripple.

And the sparkling stars to show me the way.

I couldn't feel my breath, but I don't care anymore. And then a glimpse of coolness I felt, slipped on my skin. No sound to be found. Like I was in outer space.

I am an overthinking person, but in that place, I chose not to. I could finally find my mind at peace there. My thoughts were blank, and my head felt lighter and lighter.

Even though I didn't know where I was (at that time), I chose to sit with my knees pulled up to chest. And did nothing more. Compared to those previous stressful and tired days, that place is cool in both meanings. I could do this all day long, just to sit like that.

Suddenly, I felt a sense of regret about something. What was that for? What did I actually perceive?

A soft sadness of what I was about to give up behind my back.

My life.

A flashback was running through my eyes like a slow movie, about my past.

Am I going to die? I'm not sure.

I turned around and saw nothing.

Then a question popped into my head: "What if I never wake up and see the daylight again, will I be happy?"

I couldn't answer at that moment, but I knew I would eventually feel grief and regret of that place when I'm gone. Then, I continued sitting.

"Am I feeling lonely now?"

A bit. But I refuse to be active, just staying still and doing nothing. I wish I could do this all day with my brain freeze.

...

"HEY! WAKE UP!! HEYYYYYYYYYY"

"BREATH! KEEP BREATHING"

...

Felt like having a long sleep, yet I woke up after 2 seconds of passing out.

I forgot how to breathe. I hardly felt all of my senses coming back. My throat was dry as hell. And my voice... I could barely talk in trembling. It took time to be normal again.

So I just had a coma. Or I almost died. Once.

[iikreamy]

I'm a lost dreamer in soft sadness.

[iikreamy]

I have came back to reality

And wanted to k!ll my self already

Don’t do something like me

Cuz’ I just feel so lonely

So please…

[iikreamy]

Same energy with Misato Katsuragi from Neon Genesis: Evangelion the series.

Usually.

[iikreamy]

Actually, I wanna die soon. There is no need to keep living. But why am I still survive ‘till this day, at this moment?

Am I afraid of dying?

I cannot answer those questions, so I just keep surviving and wondering about this traumatic world, also waiting for the day I could pass away.

When I’m ready. When everyone is ready.

Therefore, I could put an end to my entire life and walk freely into the next chapter:

“The After Life”

[iikreamy]

"Sometimes you can trust a person, and then, when things are down, they forget about you."

[iikreamy]

"Viết cho nỗi buồn và cho những cơn mơ ngủ say." - Things by KATH.

[iikreamy]

Mỗi khi buồn,

Tôi sẽ muốn khóc.

Mỗi khi trống rỗng,

Tôi thường không làm gì.

Ngày hôm nay,

Tôi buồn vì trống rỗng.

Thật đấy!

Tôi phải làm gì đây?

[taylorswift]

Surprise! I think of Midnights as a complete concept album, with those 13 songs forming a full picture of the intensities of that mystifying, mad hour. However! There were other songs we wrote on our journey to find that magic 13. I’m calling them 3am tracks. Lately I’ve been loving the feeling of sharing more of our creative process with you, like we do with From The Vault tracks. So it’s 3am and I’m giving them to you now. 🌌

https://taylor.lnk.to/taylorswiftmidnights

[iikreamy]

It's perfect for 3AM.

[iikreamy]

Your blog is amazing haha

thank you so much even though I mainly write in my native language haha

[iikreamy]

Điều giữ tôi còn sống

Không nhận ra là đang đi đường vòng, chỉ là mỗi buổi chiều đi làm về tôi đều cố gắng ngẩng đầu lên nhìn bầu trời một chút, tìm kiếm chút khoảnh khắc vui vẻ le lói trong ngày - cũng là động lực sống nhỏ nhoi cho một ngày mai sắp đến.

Bầu trời Hà Nội thật đẹp, lại càng đẹp hơn nữa khi vào chớm đông. Một bảng palette màu dịu dàng hơn tất thảy những ngày oi bức trước đó, xứng đáng để tôi đặt hy vọng sống thêm một ngày, và mong chờ ngày tiếp theo lại đến để được ngắm nhìn khung cảnh tuyệt diệu này thêm lần nữa.

May mắn thay, động lực sống của tôi lại có thể giản đơn đến vậy.

Dẫu có se lạnh hơn một chút, vậy thì mỗi khi tôi khóc sẽ có hơi ấm hoà tan. Như thế là có thể ấm áp lên được rồi.

Hà Nội, cuối Thu đầu Đông, tôi lẩm nhẩm theo giai điệu của một bài hát đung đưa. Và tôi lại khóc không vì lý do gì.

[kurarah]

Shinseiki Evangelion: Mahjong Hokan Keikaku (新世紀エヴァンゲリオン 麻雀補完計画) Gameboy Color

[iikreamy]

I can't imagine the life without you since you have always been the part of my life. However, if anything happens and I'm sure it will be, I still have to live on.

One day, you and I will live in different universes with different timeline.

No, I don't want that. Please stay with me a little longer. I beg you...

Don't leave me alone.

[iikreamy]

Source from: Neon Genesis Evangelion.