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@iitspenance
hnnnfffFFF
i’m so sorry if someone made you think it’s hard to love you
Broadchurch s01e04
deweymoss:
{ @iitspenance }
Arriving at Alec’s house to find nobody there wasn’t incredibly surprising.
Arriving at the station to find he wasn’t there was odd.
Finding out, from Ellie, that he was in the hospital once again, was enough to shatter Dewey’s heart on the spot.
“He’s stable, though, no worries, there, didn’t T–”
“Where?” Dewey had managed out, and, as Ellie stepped forward to pull him into a hug, he pulled back. “Tell me what fucking hospital he’s at, Miller, come on!”
She told him the name, and, before she could get another breath in, Dewey was turning back to his car and speeding down the winding roads of Broadchurch before making it to the hospital in what must’ve been record time.
They wouldn’t let him in, not at first “visiting hours are over” and, “only close family now” and whatever bullshit they wanted to throw his way (a couple threats of a lawsuit and insistence that he most definitely was close family seemed to get them to change their tune fairly quickly, though)
When he made it to Alec’s room, he took in the scene carefully: Alec, asleep in bed, oxygen tubes going up his nose, with Daisy, sitting in a chair in the corner, working on what Dewey could only assume to be homework.
“Dewey?” She smiled, though confused as she crossed the room over to him. “I thought you weren’t coming.”
“…Huh?” He mumbled, pulling her into a tight hug, eyes not leaving Alec’s sleeping form. “What in bloody hell gave you that idea? I didn’t even–I’ve been blowing up your phones all day, I was so worried. Why didn’t somebody call? I would’ve been here sooner if–”
“Mum…didn’t call you?” Daisy mumbled, frowning. “She told everyone she would handle it, said you didn’t want to come because dad was stable so it wasn’t anything to worry about.”
Dewey froze, shaking his head. “I’ve not gotten a single call all day. I–when did this happen?”
“…Yesterday? Around eight, I guess. She was dropping me off and they started fighting about something and…” Daisy trailed off, “Well, he…”
There was a soft sob, and Dewey was pulling her back into a hug, rubbing her back slowly. “Hey, now, hey–it’s alright. He’s a real pain in the arse, y’know. He’s not gonna let anything take him down. Not even his own bloody heart, huh?”
She let out a half chuckle, wiping at her eyes as she nodded, and Dewey walked with her back to where she was sitting, as he dug into his pocket, and pulled out his wallet, handing her what cash he had.
“You want something to nibble? Saw a pretty banger vending machine in the hall, you know. They had miiiiini oreeeoooosss.”
Daisy nodded, and stood, taking the money from his hand, and walking out into the hall, just barely sliding past her mother as she walked through the doorway.
“Oh. Dewey.” Tess hummed. “Didn’t know you’d be joining us. Daisy had mentioned you were going to London for the month.”
“Hm. Did she?” Dewey tilted his head. “I suppose she didn’t know to tell you about the little tidbit that I’d be coming back on weekends, then.”
“Guess she did…”
“Probably because I hadn’t told her, since she wasn’t here when I left. You know what she did mention, though?”
“Oh, what’s that?”
“Funny thing, she said. Kids. Wild imaginations, and all. She said–” Dewey stood, clapping his hands together as he laughed. “Well, she told me, that you told everyone that you called me, and that I wasn’t interested in coming back. Which is such a strange thing to say–considering I had every intention on coming back tonight either way, and had I known that my fiancé had a heart attack, I certainly would’ve driven home yesterday, because unlike this ridiculous version of me you have concocted in your head, I actually genuinely love Alec, and I want–”
“Dewey, I–”
“No, no, shut up, shut up. Please.” Dewey begged. “You have been trying to sabotage my relationship with Alec for months now. Months! You’ve tried to keep Daisy as some sort of hostage to dangle above Alec’s head, you literally falsely accused me of a crime and had me arrested for it–something I very well could have you fired over, by the way, but I haven’t pressed charges yet because unlike you, I understand that you play a part in Alec’s and Daisy’s lives and I respect your place there, even if you don’t respect mine–not to mention this!”
He gestures vaguely around the hospital room.
“What kind of person sees someone they once loved have a heart attack in front of them, and their immediately response is to use it as some sort of–what? What even is this, Tess? You think Alec’s gonna wake up and see you tending to him and want to leave me for you? Why? So you can reject him again? You’ve already broken his heart, Tess–you’re literally the reason he’s in this bed right now! You two don’t work together, you have tried time and time again and finally, finally, he has found happiness with someone else and you’re trying to ruin that!”
Dewey paused, running his hands over his face.
“But you’re not doing that. You’re not ruining us. All you’re doing here, now, is ruining what relationship you have left with Alec, and with Daisy, too. You are being, quite frankly, a crazy jealous bitch and showing your absolute ugliest side to these people who are meant to be your family. You don’t have to like me, Tess, I don’t really care if you do, but you have to respect the fact that Alec and I love each other. That I’m fully intending on spending the rest of my life with him. Because whatever roadblocks you try to put in our way…we’re going to get around it. Because that’s what you do when you love someone, you find ways to make it work. You–”
Dewey’s gaze shifted back toward Alec, who was now shifting in bed, attempting to sit up.
“Alec.” Dewey breathed, rushing over to his side, and grabbing his hand. “Hey, whoa, take it easy. Okay? Hi. I’m so sorry I’m late I didn’t–” He huffed. “I’m sorry. How are you feeling?”
it was all so surreal. really. as if he was awake but underwater. drowning in that damn water all over again. he could feel it, suffocating like a weight on his chest. or maybe it was because of his heart. damn. damn. he was doing so well.
but then came the feeling in his hands. his fingers wiggling a little until he could plant himself more firmly in reality. he could hear dewey -- dewey? guess he would be here. and tess? or he was yelling about tess -- maybe it was miller? whatever it was he was upset.
upset enough that as alec regained consciousness his first instinct was to push himself off the bed. arms weak, and nearly collapsing under his own weight, but holding strong. dewey’s hand found his own as soon as he really could focus on his face. his bleary eyes then turning to tess, his heart sinking in his chest. of course.
❝ … you didn’t tell him? ❞
words left his lips, weak, but as sharp as glass. his eyes holding as steady as they could. of course, she didn’t. why would she. daisy probably had to -- or -- well -- his head spun with the possibilities and he had to shut his eyes tight against the thought.
❝ please, love -- ❞
alec frowned, tess’ head had perked up at that name. of course it did.
❝ dewey, love ... ‘m fine. -- it’s fine. jus’ help me sit up. you don’t have to baby me, here. i jus’ wanna know what's going on. ❞
overstressed and underfucked.
accidentally went and got myself killed yesterday but god wont let me die so im back
hozier // talk
people are unknowable. you can never really know what goes on inside someone else’s heart.
‘don’t touch me.’
It was a mugging.
Happened down a side road in town where there was no CCTV–no clear evidence of who the perpetrator was–no witnesses, and the victim couldn’t identify much beyond a very basic description: average height. male. early to mid 30′s. wearing a mask. Basically half the town was ruled in–along with a couple hundred tourists who were pouring in for the summer.
The trail had gone cold just about as soon as the crime was committed. There wasn’t anything to be done. For all they knew, the man in question had stolen a wallet and used the money to board the next train out of town.
Alec was stubborn, though. As usual.
“Not all cases get solved.” Dewey had told him over dinner–where Alec was reading through the rather thin case file, and not actually touching his plate. “You needn’t stress like this, love. Mind your heart.”
Alec didn’t seem to pay him any mind, though.
A few days later, the case was taken from Alec–not enough evidence to continue wasting resources, they had told him.
“It’s not your fault.” Dewey frowned when Alec came home rather late–but still sulking. “You’ve done your best, no need to let it bother you so. C’mon, we could–” Reaching out to wrap his arm around Alec’s shoulders, Alec tensed up, and shrugged Dewey off while stepping to the side.
“don’t touch me.”
It took Dewey half a second to register what Alec had just said–but once it had, he hesitated, but nodded, taking a step back as he gesturing back, toward their bedroom. “You should–I could make you something? Did you have supper? There’s some leftovers I can heat up, if–”
He felt his heart sink when Alec shrugged him off and walked toward their bedroom. Following on his heels, Dewey gently shooed the dogs off of the bed as Alec tugged off his suit jacket, and tie, and immediately collapsed into bed.
“You should at least change into…” Dewey trailed off as Alec rolled away from him, staring at the wall. “You’d be more comfortable.” He commented, as he climbed into bed next to him.
They laid in silence for what felt like hours, Dewey staring up at the ceiling, only to glance over every few moments to watch the steady pattern of Alec’s breathing.
Seemingly out of nowhere, though, Alec rolled over, and while it was hard to see in the dark, Dewey could vaguely make out tear tracks on his cheeks, as the DI silently shifted closer to him, a hand just barely grazing Dewey’s side.
“Aw, love.” Dewey whispered, immediately pulling Alec into his arms, and pulling him close, letting out a soft sigh when he felt Alec let out a sob against him, his hands clutching at the fabric of Dewey’s sleep shirt. “Come on, now, it’s alright. Let it out, then.”
After sometime, Alec’s sobs faded into small sniffles, and eventually, he went quiet, face buried against Dewey’s chest as he snored softly, Dewey’s hand rubbing comfortingly up and down Alec’s back long after he had dozed off.
“It’s alright,” He mumbled softly against Alec’s hair as he kissed him once more as his own eyes started to drift shut. “I’ve got you.”
—I’ll sleep in the car. —Don’t be daft.
hir·aeth
/‘hir,āeth/
noun a homesickness for a home you can not return to or a home that never was.
Alec “Tired AF” Hardy
Why does everyone use first names so much, like they all work in marketing? Why do people insist on doing that? I mean, if you look at a person, I look at you, you know I’m talking to you. I don’t need to say your name three times to congratulate myself on remembering it, to create some sort of false intimacy.
Happy (very belated) birthday, @alecharrdy! 💕✨