Take the Struggle out of the Juggle @ijustlove2balancethecrazy - Tumblr Blog

Family: FITBIT

To keep relationships in your family solid, strong and moving ever forward:

1) Never take another familly member's personal sacrifices for granted. Sometimes a mere "thank you" might be sufficient; but at other times, a tangible outward demonstration of your appreciation would be most appropriate - and go much farther.

2) Never grow stale in creative interactions within your nuclear family. People get tired of experiencing the same old "stuff" - like stale bread, or reheated oatmeal ... or grits. YUK!! It's best to observe and honor how a person's likes and preferences change over time, and then fashion creative responses according to those morphings.

3) Never think that your repetitive casual missteps will always be easily overlooked. At times, your sins of careless omission or commission towards another can cause large heartache and damage. Think of how other family members react to what you do. You just might learn a few things about yourself that others have known for quite some time.

As a nationally certified personal trainer, ijustlove2balancethecrazy as I consider Family Fitness. I will be one of the first to agree that physical fitness is vital to everyone's quality of life maintenance. However, I will also astutely share that regularly caring for relational fitness will carry you farther and provide greater meaning for your life - as well as the lives of your closest significant others.

Be physicially fit - yes. Be relationally FIT - always.

#family #relationships #familycloseness #marriage #parenting #children

Family: A PLACE CALLED HOME!

How have you shaped your home life - once the door of your house closes out the world? Are you a terror to your tikes or a blessing to your bunch? I would hope that we all would consider how we act behind closed doors as we mold our children. Our kids need to see home as a safe place that will always be there for them, no matter what - like a catch net that keeps them from falling into a black hole somewhere.

I'm not speaking of enabling or producing children who feel entitled to anything; I am suggesting that we all love on our kids (big and small) and that we do it with all our might - taking nothing for granted. Consider their many crazy moments as memories we will hold dear within our hearts on some future and possibly lonely day.

Home. “When I think of home, I think of a place where there is .... “ How will your kids fill in that ending? Think about it.

ijustlove2balancethecrazy as I make our home a place of provision, growth, love and acceptance. Here's to hoping you are doing the same - behind your own closed doors in your place - A PLACE CALLED “HOME”!

#home #family #children #love #acceptance #parents #mothers

FITNESS: NEVER TOO LATE 2BEFIT!

It you fail to move (exercise) your body, it may fail to move you in a protective way that avoids injury. Suppose you happen to trip over a wrinkle in the carpet. If you have built memory into your muscles from consistent exercise, your body will instinctively engage itself to protect you in a fall. This is why conditioning your upper body (hands, wrists, arms, torso) is essential to besting any such mishap. Exercises that require lifting weights and pulling against tension bands are good ways to achieve upper body strength.

While conditioning your upper body, also focusing on balance is critical. Balance routines initially have an awkward feel as limbs war against supporting offset weight. Still, working with your body to grow accustomed to right responses in such situations is key for balance mastery. Your core (intra-abdominal muscles) develop and automatically engage, granting you the ability to pull inward and away from collapsing onto a weaker side.

As you condition your upper body and perfect balance, also perform maneuvers to increase your flexibility. Having the ability to truly stretch a muscle, twist your torso, or to reach comfortably overhead can prove to be life-saving. They enable you to manipulate your body possibly towards safety in the aftermath of a fall.

The better equipped you are to handle unusual situations life can present, the better you are at not succombing to serious injury - because your body can overcome unusual physical events. Carpets do wrinkle and gravity does occasionally win out over us; therefore, we would be wise to prep ahead and then emerge in body victory - because we prepared ourselves 2BeFit!

ijustlove2balancethecrazy as I swing my 35-pound baby (kettle bell) and Powerwalk the planet. And I really self-actualize as I specialty train people in their 30′s, 40′s, 50′s and beyond - showing them that it’s Never Too Late 2BeFit!

#seniorfit #exercise #powerwalk #fitness #health

Family – Untie the Knots!

Most parents wish to avoid promoting negative attitudes and outcomes within their homes. Here are some ways to help your family benefit from intentional positive living - Untie the Knots (NOTS) to make life more enjoyable in your home. Here are Nots you might want to unravel:

- NOT spending enough time with each family member. Taking your spouse and kids, separately, on fun morning, afternoon or evening outings helps you get to know them better while focusing individually on them. It’s a beautifully exclusive way to both affirm and empower them.

- NOT acknowledging a loved one’s dreams and aspirations. Regardless of oddity (and some dreams can seem quite looney-birdish), imaginations are ways a minds sometimes test/prove/resolve matters for bigger developments later in life.

- NOT keeping promises to family members. If you say you are going to do something, then do it! If you fail them (especially children) with your words, they won’t trust you to guide them later - when they might desperately need a good word from you.

- NOT requesting forgiveness when you are wrong. The best way to build confidence in your child’s heart is to let them know you, too, are inclined to error. If you gloss over your own mistakes, especially when it impacts them, they will resent you for it - possibly for a lifetime. Ask forgiveness and then silence yourself - oftentimes parents like to say, “I know it was wrong for me to do/say that, but you should not have . . . “ Whenever you ask forgiveness, be careful not to continue conferring blame and guilt upon them.

- NOT keeping time for family as sacred. If you habitually prioritize everyone else’s schedule above your family’s, yours will see that they are not really your truest loves. Your actions and schedule screams loudest. Though they may not confront you on it, family members will indeed harbor resentment and learn to plan you out of their own future grown lives.

ilove2balancethecrazy as I regularly Untie Knots that rob my family of full life-experiences they deserve from me. I encourage you to do the same.

#family #parenting #mothering #childrearing #promises #familytime

Eating at Wright’s BBQ; Two families of children in business - mine and the 4 Wrights - ready to take over!

Family - TEAM ON!

On a recent trip through Mexia (muh-hay-yuh), Texas, my family and I happened upon the best kept secret in the middle of the state. It’s the Wright’s BBQ restaurant – a family-run restaurant, currently being run by a 3rd generation owner. From the time I crossed its threshold, I immediately sensed that something was powerfully, radically, and positively special about this place.

It wasn’t that it has withstood the test of time, now in its 60th year - although that is most impressive for any business. It wasn’t that their barbecue was extraordinarily succulent (do know that I’ve been halfway around the world and back, having sampled my share of barbecue in sundry places; Wright’s BBQ was honestly, hands-down THE BEST I have ever tasted!). It wasn’t even that the owner graced me by standing outside near the roadway waving arms as sort of a beacon after I had phoned for help with directions. All of that was worthy of note, but paled in comparison to what stood out to me as most impressive.

Four young children sat at a table nearest the cashier station, totally and peacefully engrossed in innocent diversions. They noted me, but continued to enjoy one another in play. At one point, I overheard them singing in hushed tones so as not to disturb patrons. It was when I paid my ticket that I learned these were children of the owner - the 4th generation who would one day carry full responsibility of this family venture. The very powerful, radical positive aspect of all was that, instead of playing basketball at a community center or instead of wiling away idle hours at home until the adults would return, they were there at the restaurant, eagerly responding to specific requests to assist. These children were being groomed to one day take charge of the operation, and they were doing so without negative attitude nor “push back”. Bouquets to their parents for purposefully and lovingly guiding them, their posterity.

When children are welcomed as active contributors in a family business, they grow in character unlike in any other place. Children in a family business learn what it means to be Family TEAM ON! Here are four ways their growth happens:

1. SELF WORTH: As they work real matters and interface with real people, they learn that there is true industry in their own young hands. This industry helps them realize small successes that add up to even bigger successes in every other area of their lives – for success breeds success.

2. PATIENCE: Learning to wait quietly without demand nor doting, until the right time emerges for other preferred activity - it forms a conscience acceptance that all gratification cannot happen precisely when we desire it. These young children were sitting . . . waiting . . . otherwise engaged in creative delight and in full control of themselves (so young – how rare).

3. CONFIDENCE: They are able to observe proper behavior and then to mimic it. It’s in the mimicking that they realize the extent and value of their contributions to the team. The more they do, the more they learn; the more they learn, the more they contribute. The more they contribute, the more they are equipped with confidence.

4. FAILURE RESILIENCE: When members make mistakes, those younger come to understand that mistakes are a part of success and life. Mistakes should not be looked upon as terminal events. Children then witness what it means to recover and to come back stronger and wiser than before.

Ijustlove2balancethecrazy as I also teach my children how to go Family TEAM ON in our own family business ventures. Like the family of Wright’s BBQ, we find there is something powerful, radical, positive and even sweet about positioning children on the family business team. Not only do they grow in character, but they also appreciate the value of good and honest work – for generations.

[Wright’s BBQ at 602 ½ N. MLK Jr.; Mexia TX 76667; (254)562-9042]

#family #children #teamwork

SuperMama Reality Check!

If you had told me years ago that one of the most valuable lessons I would learn as a mother would come from Milne’s Winnie the Pooh, I would have laughed you off; however, it did. We were watching a Pooh movie when baby kangaroo, Rue, alongside his panicking friend, Lumpy - a Hefalump, ended up miserably lost in the 100 acre woods. Lumpy only calmed after Rue announced, “Let’s just go find my mom. She will make everything all right!” How I both loved and absorbed that innocent description of me, a mom. It made us moms sound so magically heroic for every situation. The reality, however, was that Rue had “set the bar” of performance for us moms unreachably high. That anyone could ever make everything all right is merely a statement of fairytale proportions. Still, I know many a mother who daily strains under self-accepting pressure to deliver only life joys and perfection to her children.

Here is the reality of motherhood, as I have come to see it, while still in the midst of growing up the second half of our nine children. My role as “Mama” is to provide the best loving care and guidance for my children that I can, while also teaching them to persist through their own shortcomings and challenges. Understanding that my words and actions of encouragement may be all I can deliver in many situations, especially as the children grow into independence. Just as children are not born with instruction manuals, mothers aren’t women who magically transform into hocus pocus miracle workers for their kids – making everything all right. The sooner we understand this point, the better we can then function and throw off unrealistic notions that only set us up for failure and depression.

In my home, my children know my imperfections and mistakes – like the time I climbed onto a shopping cart in the grocery store to give them a visual of how wildly they were acting one day in public. In a less-than-magical moment as I proceeded to climb onto the front end of the shopping cart…just about when I hoisted my second foot towards the front wheel bar…did the darn thing roll out from under my feet, hurtling me like a rag doll up and away from the cart. In a whirlwind instant, I found myself doing a mad backstroke through the air for what felt like an eternity. And then - Slam!!!! There I lay, looking up at florescent lights and hoping no one I knew or didn’t know had seen me. My kids shrieked (maybe it was howling laughter I heard). In disbelief and shock - too shocked to be embarrassed – they raced to peel my crazy-acting carcass off the floor.

My reality check moment of that day: Let kids be kids and NEVER, under any circumstances, climb onto the front end of a shopping cart!

Yes. Mamas make silly mistakes more often than we wish to admit. Still, that’s the stuff of which life is made. But, we can learn most from those unsavory moments that land us flat on our backs. As we represent who we are to our children, we must teach them to see us as fallible people who love them with unfailing hearts. And when their tasks/expectations lists press us into the unrealistic, we must take a reality check stance to sort out the following:

Figure what is really needed in the situation and how we do (or don’t) fit into its resolution. We sometimes serve best as a “door”, guiding our children to another for help on a particular matter.

If we find that we are capable of taking action, figure precisely what we must do while also recognizing our limits.

Figure what we must not and cannot do. Responding to our children with a “No”, or “That won’t work for me” is perfectly acceptable. It could be for them to dig deeper within themselves to find the answer. It could also stop us from enabling and handicapping them by always trying to solve their problems.

Ijustlove2balancethecrazy as a Master of Mayhem (a Mom) when I consider my purpose, abilities and limitations. Regularly performing such a Reality Check keeps me from trying to be supermom. Yet somehow, I still manage to still look like one to my kids. (Neat supermom photo from nearlynetworked.com.)

#supermom #reallifesupermom #realitymom #raisingkids #familydynamics #mamasolutions #equippingkids #moms

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Take the Struggle out of the Juggle turned 2 today! That's just about when a toddler begins mastering the art of vocal expression. So this tumblr baby post is about to really make some noise. Stay tuned!

#tumblr birthday #tumblr milestone

FOCUS: Bully Strategy

If you are tired of being bullied, or want to help someone survive a bullying ordeal, here is a helpful strategy for you:

B – BE. Be Ready! Stop expecting that delight awaits you at every corner; yet know that when you are living life on a higher plane than others, they will lurk and wait for opportunities to pounce.

Be Watchful! Stay in the ready stance knowing that it’s a wise/ watchful person who sees trouble on the horizon and prepares for it.

Be Brave! Don’t underestimate yourself, yet know you are worth defending - live with brave confidence that causes others to question whether they should bother you in the first place.

U – UNDERGIRD. Undergird yourself with real power by getting fit to not only exude power but also to be able to deliver it, if necessary; you will be an irresistable target if you physically neglect yourself.

L - LOOK. Look at your habits to understand what makes you appear weak enough for another to have sized you up for an easy fight; and then change into tougher posturing.

L – LISTEN to wise counsel of those who can help you either conquer that bully (unfortunately sometimes by engagement) or by ceasing from whatever actions cause you to encounter them, especially when alone; it’s when you “go it alone” that you can sometimes miss angles of clarity that could come from the eyes of an astute onlooker, who may have once experienced the same - and survived.

Y – YELL. “Yell” or otherwise “emphatically tell” your situation to others who can help you not stand alone – because they now know of your plight; oftentimes, we assume that other people can see the misery we experience, when they are actually oblivious to our suffering.

Ijustlove2balancethecrazy as I embolden others to stand up and face those negating forces in others who want to beat them down. I, too, survived years of being tremendously bullied as a child/teen and am most qualified to offer strategy to others being so victimized today.

photo from cutsceneaddict.tumblr.com

Read more: http://www.thebullyproject.com/

#bully personalsafety selfdefense fight

FOCUS: sunRISE SUNset

If morning breaks to find you facing yet another day with a doldrums perspective, you are overdue for a FOCUS reset to escape the dread of sunRISE at every SUNset. Make it your goal to live with more IMPACT until your personal, relational and professional goals shape forward. One way to do it:

I = Invest in the lives of those closest to you, whether it be family, friends or colleagues; it takes the strain off of you always looking at life only through the lens of what is happening to you.

M = Maintain connections with people who give you much-needed boosts to help you see the brighter side of life, while diminishing time spent with others who are toxic to your progress, health and state of mind.

P = Play games and spend fun time delighting in “smelling the roses” in/around your life by sometimes getting up a little earlier to do mundane tasks so you can spend good daylight doing more of what you prefer.

A = Attitude of the Indomitable Don’t just roll over and play possum stiff when life hands you a proverbial bucket of worms; daily fight urges to give in/up and live with an urgency that shouts: “I am not expendable; I must prevail!”

C = Commit to follow your passion(s) that give life thrust to live with a self-fulfilling purpose; it may be starting a new craft or brushing off that old saxophone to toot your own horn – it does not have to mean running off to join a foreign mission in “Darkest Peru”.

T = Traction means sticking to that direction you establish, even when it becomes difficult to hold on to your dreams and pursuits; it’s when you willingly slacken your grip that you find the winds of pressure ever shoving you back to an undesirable restart – a place where you should not wish to remain.

Ijustlove2balancethecrazy as I live with more IMPACT, positively anticipating each sunRISE versus dreading the next day to come at every SUNset. You go do the same.

#focus #perspective #impact #attitude #lifebalance #enjoylife

FAMILY: BRO Love Glue Stick!

When my family didn’t have Wi-Fi due to our rural location, I spent plenty of time at a local McDonalds accessing their system. As I did, I noticed that the happiest customer families/friends commonly celebrated, counseled, consoled and connected with one another. I now give you what I gleaned as necessary for the glue that sticks people together in such relationships of true Brotherly love – or BRO Love, as I term it.

BRO Love needs a “B” for Backup, which means

Providing a catch net of love when another slips or falls,

“Being there” with verbal salve to soothe an aching heart as another fights through a tough spot (even when you know they brought it on themselves),

Speaking up for another when you’ve the power to do so, especially when someone cannot do it for themselves,

Holding a “brother” accountable, telling them when they are wrong, yet doing so constructively to get them “back on track”- it protects them from being enabled by you.

BRO Love needs an “R” for Respect, which means

First understanding what necessitates your own proper personal regard (personal limits, goals, standards, boundaries, preferences) that protects you from being tread upon by others (even family members),

Honoring and regarding the personage of another in ways that accept and acknowledge who they really are versus who you wish them to be.

BRO Love needs an “O” for Outreach which means

Actively, physically extending yourself to another in ways that matter,

Reciprocating (giving back) and not always being the receiver in a relationship, lest others weary of what they might see as a leech nature in you,

Stabilizing to provide support that prevents another from falling or from never “getting back on their own feet”,

Embracing others with meaningfully strong hugs, taking the time to lend a shoulder of comfort (as others weep, rest or rebound), thus extending your heart through the service of your arms to communicate that you care.

The three very handsome, smiling young men you see pictured are brothers I’ve watched grow over the years – standing together in a pose that exemplifies true BRO Love, having been raised in a home where love and family were richly defined as the necessary glue to keep life worth living. Would such a picture of you/yours portray the same?

ijustlove2balancethecrazy as I teach/demonstrate/enjoy BRO Love benefits in my own family. You go apply this same BRO Love Glue Stick and prosper yours in this New Year.

I commit to write no more than 10-sentence blogs – purposeful bite-sized reads for busy people who want to “Take the Struggle out of the Juggle” for Family, Fitness and Focus.

#family #brothers #brotherlylove #love #bonding #respect #outreach

Focus: How to EXPECT for CHRISTMAS!

Christmas time is here – the Most Wonderful Time of the Year to learn How to EXPECT:

E...ntitlement

X...ray

P...rayer

E...ntertainment

C...hocolate

T...raction

ENTITLEMENT (No) – giving what you don’t have to get somebody what they don’t need because they/you feel everybody else is doing it. No sensibility in that, right?

X-RAY VISION (Yes) – taking the time to look deeper into the hearts of your friends, family and others to understand how to supply their deepest needs for kinship; helping them have their most basic needs met, like regularly praying with them for a job, sharing your financial savvy to help another stretch a dollar, visiting that lonesome senior, anonymously buying a young family’s meal at a restaurant, or

If you have funds to expend and Dare to be Radical: Step forward and offer to pay the grocery bill for the person (people) in line just ahead of you. Once the cashier states their total, tell the cashier you wish to cover it. Obviously use wisdom, sensitivity, and quiet regard so as not to draw attention…and say a warm “Merry Christmas” to the party you are offering to bless. (Hey! Be prepared to get turned down and maybe even negatively regarded. Only mildly, humbly back off in such a moment. Your feelings will only be hurt if you allow it. Just refine your approach and try it again some other time for another.) Otherwise, know you have made a major difference for some else.

PRAYER (Yes) – remembering to talk to God, without ceasing, about everything. (Pass me driving alone in my car and see my lips moving - I am enjoying my past time of singing or just talking to God.)

ENTERTAINMENT (Yes) – of things wholesome: bake cookies, play board games, read a good book, laugh out loud – not on social media - with friends and family

CHOCOLATE (You Bet!) – dark, high antioxidant chocolate. If you don’t eat chocolate, let it represent whatever treat you enjoy. “Bless your flesh”, but if you overdo it, “Pay the Piper” with a work out!

TRACTION (Yes) – the birth of Christ marked an incredible genesis for us. We can/must mark Christmas as a time to refresh, reclaim, and regain tougher mental resolve and focus. The need for us then is to maintain personal traction against the bullying and stress life enacts upon us all. Let us promise ourselves to no longer slip, slide, blame - accepting victimization, and waffle when the fight comes to us. Try this:

1) Do the hard stuff first.

2) Don’t be surprised when bad things happen.

3) STAND UP and often STAND ALONE, if you must, for what you know is right.

4) Make that positive difference.

Ijustlove2balancethecrazy as I encourage myself and others living with purpose to EXPECT the right things for Christmas.

I typically only write 10 lines. But it’s Christmas! Extra lines are my Gift to YOU!

#christmas #holidays #merrychristmas #happyholidays #santa #gifts

Family: THE EYES OF MUCH. . .

As a child, I recall times when my mother would deeply impress her thoughts upon me – in an instant – without even slightly parting her lips, but simply by my connecting with her “silent”, yet powerful, eyes.

I believe we have lost sight (pardon the pun) of the power and impact of our eyes that both edify and destroy. They sparkle with joyous delight or dim with a gloomy darkness where envy portrays; they accept or reject, love or hate, guide or mislead, support or undermine, warm or chill.

As a parent, I am oftentimes aware of the impact I have on my children through my eyes. I can break or mend a heart; I can soothe hurts at a distance or strike concern in a child for wrongdoing. I can build them up or tear them down – in just a knee-jerk gazing moment.

Let us get into the habit of loving our children with our eyes to help them later when they one day view our eyes through their rear view mirrors. You’ll want them to KNOW as they go, that The Eyes of Much Love, Acceptance, Concern and Grace are being worn on YOUR face - always and forever for them.

Ijustlovetobalancethecrazy as I work to bring out the best in my children through my eyes. You other parents/guardians, go do the same, while time is on your side - before your eyes are one day closed by Him who holds you as the Apple of His very own.

#family #love #acceptance #mothers

IDEAS for Family, Fitness, Focus

“Take the Struggle out of the Juggle” for Family, Fitness and Focus

FAMILY: Instead of delivering a Facebook poke or a quick text to your grown-up child, do one of two things: 1) if your child is local, get in your car and go to them, bearing a package of something they enjoy and a card that tells them you love them, or 2) for those who are not local, pick up the phone and call - don't text - and let them hear the love in your voice. Remember to smile as you talk; smiles do transmit over electronic lines.

FITNESS: Go for a 20 minute leisurely walk instead of going to the gym or exercising on a stationary bike or treadmill in your bedroom. The weather is hopefully pleasant enough to allow such. If not, find a mall and go for an early morning stroll indoors before the stores open.

FOCUS: Practice keeping a “cooler head” and not “blowing your top”. Stress is often what triggers irrational responses; irrational responses typically cause us to damage relationships and to live with regrets. Do a quick read of the information at the following link – see what it offers you to help minimize your stress:

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20425626,00.html

#family #fitness #focus #stress

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