https://youtu.be/_hts4MGL6uk?si=tG2qKLvSACDy_YdM
I wanted your opinion on this because you're a black woman and will probably understand this more than me
Also, I'm gonna give a little bit of my opinion, women need more support in families. They need support from their mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, brother, sisters, friends just anyone they know. Women with kids get so much put on them and it's unfair that everything is put on them
This took me a long time to answer because I spent quite some time thinking about this, because frankly I'm not certain what thoughts you want from me, but I'll try.
First of all, I should say I'm not a black American. I'm Nigerian, and the man in the video seems at some points to be talking from a black American perspective. Nevertheless, I do have opinions.
Women do need support from families, yes. But more than that, women need to rely less on men when it comes to childrearing, not more. That may seem contradictory, but let me explain.
One of the problems I have with mainstream feminism is that it encourages the idea that there's nothing wrong with doing certain things that put you at higher risk of being hurt or let down, because men should be better people. Indeed, men shouldn't be as awful as they are, but also we can't force them to be better. When they decide to act out, there's very little we can do to prevent that.
Knowing that, why would I have kids I don't want because of a man? Okay, say I figure out I don't want them after I have one. Why would I have more? Barring instances of abuse, where the woman is put in more danger by trying to leave, why would I stick around and keep having those damn kids?
I've always been an advocate for women having children when they want, how they want, that they can support themselves. Married or single, I don't believe a woman should ever factor a man into her childrearing plans, except the conception. He can pitch in, and if he's in your life and home, he should be pitching in. But I believe that when a woman has a child, she should have considered what her life would be like if she does it on her own. She should consider what it would be like if that man dies, leaves, becomes abusive, loses his job, starts drinking, goes insane. And she should only have a child if she believes that she'd be able and happy to raise that child in any circumstance no matter what the man does. If he stays perfect, helpful and involved, she wins. If he behaves like men typically do, she loses very little.
The first video where the man was filming and mocking his partner for crying because she didn't want their 2 kids and was pregnant with a third was sad to watch, but he said something. He said "we're not doing no abortion", implying that an abortion was an option. Why then would she sit down and tell that man that she was pregnant, but also didn't want it? The correct thing to do was to pop down to the clinic and get that baby out.
Yes women deserve more help from their families, especially the fathers of those children. But when that help isn't coming, what can we do? We can't sit around and cry and wail about it. We can't force them to give us what we deserve. We need to do something, anything we can. And sometimes that's an abortion.
TL;DR: Women think about men too damn much. Think less about that man's feelings and think more about abortions, your own life and your own freedom.
