good girl

req are open

[ijustloveharry]

HOW COULD HE DO THIS? Is soooooo good!!!

thank you 🥰🥰🥰

[ijustloveharry]

Prompt Request - "Hey, random request, but Harry x sister and she gets her period unexpectedly with him and she’s so embarrassed and mortified (maybe crying) and doesn’t want him to know and he just kinda figure it out (don’t know how though) and is sooo sweet about it 🥺" / 2k words / siblings & fluff

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Steph stared at the mess in her underwear, completely frozen in place. Of course she got her period while her parents weren't home.

They had gone away for the weekend, sparing their kids the details but taking some needed alone time.

Harry was 17, he was old enough to watch his 14 year old sister for 3 days. Hell, they would have left her alone at this point. They couldn't head out fast enough.

"Text me if you need anything" Her mother had said, suitcase in hand

"Try not to need anything" Their dad said to Harry, winking at the two of them.

"We'll be fine." Steph rolled her eyes.

They left after that, kissing both their heads before piling into the car.

Steph wondered if Harry was planning to throw a party or if he meant it when he promised not to.

He didn't have anything planned. Steph was a nark and he figured he could just go to a friend's house if he wanted to hang out. That was true, Steph usually told their parents when Harry made bad choices. She had a pretty firm grasp on right and wrong.

"Pizza for dinner?" Harry asked, knocking on her bedroom door. She was hidden in her ensuite bathroom but could hear him lightly.

"Sounds good." She yelled back, hoping he couldn't tell she had tears streaming down her cheeks.

She debated texting her mom, but decided she was old enough to deal with it on her own. It was bound to happen - she was the last of her friends to get it and she knew it was only a matter of time. She wasn't going to tell Harry, it was mortifying enough and she didn't want to drag him into it.

Huffing, she put the stained underwear back on and snuck out of her room. She went into the main bathroom and scavenged the drawers. Nothing, to her dismay.

She didn't really want to snoop through her parents things, but figured her mom might stash them in their own bathroom. Nothing, she just found tampons and she didn't really want to go there. Her friend's mom had warned them profusely about toxic shock syndrome and Steph figured it wasn't worth the risk. She just shoved a ton of toilet paper in her underwear and headed to the kitchen.

"I can pick it up, if you want. I was gonna take my bike to the store so I'll be out that way anyway."

Harry looked at her puzzled, they had just gone to the store the previous day and couldn't possibly think of what she could have forgotten.

"The store? What for?"

Steph shuffled awkwardly

"Just forgot something yesterday. I'll be quick"

She couldn't dart out fast enough, and Harry followed out the door after her.

"I was gonna pick it up anyway - just placed the order. Let me give you a ride, weirdo."

Steph cursed to herself and nodded. How fast did this it happen? Was she gonna bleed in the front seat of his car?

She pushed the anxiety away and hopped in. The ride was silent and he could tell something was off about her, but decided to leave it. She was probably going to meet some boy and he was satisfied he had intervened.

She didn't get out of the car when they got there though. She just sat and stared at the doors to the supermarket. What if she ran into someone she knew? What if Harry asked to look in the bag when she came back?

"You should get the pizza." She stated "I can walk back."

Harry eyed her for a moment, and decided that no, she would not walk back.

"All good, I'd like to get some soda anyway. I'll just come in with you."

"Fuck." She mumbled to herself. Harry pretended not to hear. What was she up to?

She abandoned him in the store quickly, rushing towards the pharmacy. He opted to get the soda and figured they would meet back at the checkouts.

He waited for a few minutes, but she didn't come. He was about to get impatient before she was darting past, heading out the front doors without a word. Harry quickly left the soda and followed after her.

"Hey - what are you doing? I haven't paid yet, where-"

He was cut off by her wide eyes, which were not directed at him. He turned to follow her gaze and there was a security guard eyeing the two of them.

"Sorry - I didn't pay but I left the items inside." Harry said awkwardly "Wouldn't bring em out without purchasing them, obviously..."

"Maybe you wouldn't." The guard said simply "But she did"

Steph's palms were sweating. She hadn't taken the whole pack - just a few pads to hold her over until her parents got home. She figured it wasn't a big deal and shrugged. He wasn't going to search a young girls pants.

"Miss, are your parents with you? I'm going to need you to remove the contraband, please."

Harry's eyes shot at his sister, who was standing there squeamishly. Is she fucking kidding?

"Jesus, Steph. What've you taken?" Harry turned to the officer "I'm sure this is a misunderstanding. She wouldn't do that."

Steph was nervous now. She had gotten caught and made everything worse than it needed to be. She debated running the few blocks home and locking herself in her room until Monday.

"Saw the whole thing on camera." The guard said, remaining firm. "Gonna need her to give it back or I'll have to call the police. Please don't make me do that."

Harry's mouth fell open, and he stepped back towards his younger sister.

"Well, Steph? Give it back."

Steph shook her head. She was mortified and she didn't want to make her embarrassment even worse. She'd rather go to jail.

"We can also just ring it up, if you're willing to pay. Can just call it a misunderstanding." The guard offered.

Harry eyed his sister and groaned, following the guard back inside. Steph stood by Harry's car and cursed herself for allowing this to happen.

Harry's demeanour was different when he came back, carrying the torn open package of pads she had left in the aisle. This was a delicate situation and he was not equipped to handle it. He sighed before unlocking the car.

"You don't have to steal." He finally mumbled, and Steph looked out the window.

"You should never steal." He said again. He debated calling his mom but thought back to what his dad had said.

"Sorry." Steph said sheepishly, sinking further into the seat. "I didn't mean to get caught."

"You shouldn't have done it to begin with. Why - er, why didn't you just tell me?"

Steph scoffed, still refusing to look in his direction.

"And then what?" She sighed, still looking out the window "Then what would you have done?"

"And then we could have went to the bloody store and got some pads - jesus." Harry ran his hands through his hair "You're lucky he was nice, that could've been way worse."

Steph shrugged, praying for the conversation to be over. It couldn't possibly be worse, she thought.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I don't care." He said, eyeing her quickly as he made the short drive home. The pizza was long forgotten. "And you shouldn't be ashamed, you're allowed to talk about it."

"It doesn't feel like it." Steph said, almost in a whisper. She was so embarrassed and emotional and she didn't know what to do. Harry was about to say something else before she burst into tears. His gaze softened.

"Hey - look, it's okay. It happens to everyone, or, every young girl, I guess." Harry cursed himself and hoped he wasn't making it worse. "Mom may have had some-"

"She didn't." Steph said, finally looking at Harry. "I looked and she didn't."

"Okay." He said plainly. "No biggie, we could've just went and got some then, you don't have to be embarrassed, and you definitely don't have to steal."

Steph began to cry harder, and buried her head in her hands. It was a big deal; she didn't want this to happen and it did and now everyone was going to know. Everything was going to be different and she couldn't handle that.

"I don't want this - I don't want to be a girl" She cried, fresh tears pooling from her eyes. "I feel so sad and angry and also weirdly happy and my stomach hurts and I'm overwhelmed"

Harry smiled to himself. She was going to be okay, he thought.

"Yeah, I've heard that happens." He said, reaching out to her. "We have a heating pad to help the cramps, and I think advil or whatever should help a bit too. In terms of the emotions, yeah I mean that sucks and I can't pretend I relate but we can have ice cream and watch a sad movie or something"

Steph sniffled and glanced to her brother. He was being nice, she thought, and she didn't have to be a bitch even though she kind of wanted to.

"Okay." She finally said "Am I gonna feel like this forever?"

"No" Harry laughed "Not forever. Just like once a month for the next 40 years. It'll get easier."

Steph chuckled at that, wiping the tears from her eyes. Her chest tightened as she realized she should have just gone to him - she was being stupid and she was lucky he was there to take care of it.

"You can always come to me for anything, you know" He said softly "Especially if you're embarrassed and feel like you can't go to anyone else."

"Okay" She agreed. She shed a few more years before climbing out of the car. She stopped and checked the seat of the car, sighing in relief that she hadn't bled through the make-shift pad she figured was barely holding on.

"it would come out, you know." Harry said knowingly. "Cold water gets blood out pretty well if you're quick, i've had my share of nosebleeds and sport injuries and it doesn't stain that bad. Don't worry."

"Thanks, Harry." Steph smiled. She would be okay.

"No problem" He chuckled. "You're silly."

She smiled sheepishly and headed into the bathroom. Harry made sure she was okay for the rest of the weekend and didn't tattle on her when their parents got home, to her relief.

"Some things don't need to be shared. It'll be fine."

"Thanks" Steph smiled.

She didn't have a problem leaning on her older brother after that.

[ijustloveharry]

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? / 4.2k words / pt 4

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It had been nine months since they officially broke up.

Their breakup wasn't public, but people figured it out when they weren't really seen together. And Harry's new album told the world what they had already anticipated.

Y/N's heart was still sore, but the hole in her chest had lessened and she learned how to have fun again.

She took the job in Australia, and was relieved to find out she wasn't as recognizable there as she was in America. Her name still came up online, but I guess people didn't expect her to be here so they didn't approach her the same way they did in LA. She was grateful.

"Guess what I got?" Her roommate, Malika, sung as she sat across the table.

"Chlamydia?" Y/N joked

"In college, yeah, but not today" Malika retorted, pulling a slip from her back pocket "I got us a treat"

Y/N's eyes lit up.

She could use a treat. She had been working a lot, and very hard. People out here were much more intense than her, and after taking a year off of school, she was a bit rusty compared to her colleagues. She caught on quick; she was resourceful and knew her stuff, but she felt like she had been working in overdrive to meet deadlines. She needed a break.

"What kind of treat?" Y/N pryed. She really hoped it wasn't work related.

"Well, not to be weird, or anything, but I hear you blaring Harry Styles across the hall every so often." Y/N swore the colour drained from her face at the mention of his name. "And he's performing in Sydney next week! This guy I'm seeing knows a guy who knows a guy.. and I was able to get us tickets to go on Thursday!"

Y/N felt bad that she couldn't feign more excitement. She didn't know how to break it to her.

"Jeez - tough crowd." Malika caught on "Guilty pleasure? Is he not really your fav?"

Y/N smiled sheepishly, and pulled the tickets from her friends hands.

"No - yeah. That's great. Sure, we can go."

She could admit she hadn't thought of him much these days. She had been so busy and hadn't relistened to his new album in a couple of months. When it came out in May she listened to it almost too much, sobbing to the steady stream of songs that were undeniably about her, and once the heartbreak subsided she hadn't found much reason to listen to it again.

"I don't know many of his new songs. 'As it Was', of course, but most of the others are gonna be unfamiliar to me" Malika said, taking the tickets back "If it sucks we can definitely leave early"

Y/N knew it wouldn't suck. If Harry was one thing, it was a good performer. She wondered how long she could get away with concealing the fact that she knew him. Hopefully forever.

Thursday came quickly, and Y/N's nerves were heightened but she just pushed through.

"Ummm okay, great seats." Malika boasted. They weren't that great, Y/N had seen many shows from a lot closer, but she kept that to herself.

"Best seats in the house" She lied.

Y/N was self conscious. She spent hours deciding what to wear and ended up just buying a whole new outfit. Nothing crazy - she wore some flared jeans and a white crop top. She felt comfortable but still dressed to impress. She was satisfied.

The concert was great. Nothing made Harry more attractive than when he was dancing around on stage. His stylist was getting more ambitious and so was he - and Y/N's heart ached listening to the series of songs she had spent so long crying in the bathtub to. She tried to not let it affect her.

The night went quickly and she was happy that no one seemed to recognize her or come up to them. They left shortly after the show and that was that. Y/N figured this was good closure and she was happy that being there didn't seem too weird. He didn't know she was there - and she was going to keep it that way. This is what she told herself, anyway.

The next day, though, she realized she didn't get out of there without getting caught.

"Ummm???? you didn't tell me you fucking DATED him?" Malika furrowed her eyebrows as she shoved her phone into Y/N's face. Of course she was going to be photographed at the concert; of course his fans would recognize who she was.

"Yeah." She admitted. What else was she supposed to say?

"Well? Want to elaborate, or?"

Y/N shrugged. Why couldn't her friend just goggle her name like everyone else?

Malika tapped her foot, patiently waiting for her friend to give her any further information.

Y/N sighed and filled her in, and she was grateful that Malika was, 100%, on her side.

"Well I can't believe you didn't tell me, but I'm glad you broke it off. Dating someone famous seems like a lot of work."

She shrugged. It was. But Y/N had to admit she hadn't thought about anything other than Harry since the show the night before. He was so charismatic and she missed the way he made her laugh. He was never himself like when he was on stage.

Before she could reply, her phone began to ring. Face up in front of them, Harry's contact popped up onto the screen. She let it ring for a moment, debating whether or not to even answer. Before Y/N knew it, Malika smirked, taking it upon herself to pick it up.

"Hi, this is Y/N's phone. Who is this?" Malika answered, she placed it on speaker. Y/N rolled her eyes.

"Oh - uh, this is Harry. I was hoping I could speak to Y/N, if she's available..."

"Mhmm" Malika ruffled her papers, pretending to be flipping through god knows what. "She's a very busy woman, who was this again? Harry... Harry... Harry who?"

"Harry Styles" She could tell he was clenching his teeth. She wondered if it was because he was nervous or because he was frustrated. Maybe both.

"I don't have a Harry Styles on the dial through list. Could I take a message? Get her to call you back?"

Y/N gave her a look, and Malika put up a finger pleading her to wait.

"Of course, yeah. Yeah. Um, can you just tell her I would love to chat? Maybe go for lunch? I'm only in Sydney for two more days but I was hoping I could maybe see her...."

"Sure, I can pass that along." Malika paused for a moment. "Anything else?"

"Uh - yeah. Um, how is she?'

Y/N was reaching for the phone now, to Malika's dismay.

"Oh! She's just walked in, You can ask her yourself, please hold."

Y/N rolled her eyes at her friend, sucking in a breath before connecting the line, turning it off speaker in the process.

"Hi Harry." She said sheepishly

"Hey" He let out a breath "How are you?"

"I'm okay - yeah, been good. I decided to go for that job here in Sydney. We head out to Cairns every few weeks and, yeah it's been really good."

She paused for a moment

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. Touring, you know, the usual." They were silent for a moment.

"I saw you came to the show last night." He paused "Did you enjoy it?"

"Of course I did, Harry." She smiled at his modesty. "You always put on a good show."

"Thanks." She could tell he was smiling "One of my best ones, I reckon. Almost like I knew you were there."

Almost, she thought.

"You should've texted, could've got you free tickets or somethin - saw you after the show'"

"My friend surprised me with them, actually"

"Oh" He didn't know what to make of that. "Well I'm really glad you came. I've, uh, missed you."

"Yeah - of course. I miss you too. I loved the new album too, by the way."

She cursed herself at how awkward this was. What was she supposed to say?

"Thanks, I had some pretty good inspiration"

She smiled to herself

"Yeah"

"Well uh - I'm in town for a few more nights. I was hoping I could see you, maybe? Catch up a bit. If you're free! I know you're pretty busy and stuff-"

"Never too busy for you." She admitted. She cursed the butterflies in her stomach. "I'd like that, when were you thinking?"

"Tomorrow? For lunch - if you're free. I can send a car."

"Sounds good. I'll text you my address."

"Okay." He sounded satisfied "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"See you then." She bit her lip. Malika was looking at her with her eyebrows raised.

"Can't wait."

~~~~

If Y/N thought she had a hard time picking an outfit for the concert, she was in for a rude awakening. She had tried on everything she owned and nothing seemed appropriate for a 'private lunch date with former celebrity boyfriend'.

Malika had never been more invested in anything than this. It didn't take her long to realize that while Y/N should want nothing to do with him, she was clearly still interested and Malika was going to make sure Y/N took the chance while it was in front of her. She had never seen Y/N even remotely interested in someone, and after looking them up online she understood that Y/N had been downplaying her relationship with the celebrity. Y/N needed a life. She needed excitement; and this was the first time Malika had seen her even remotely nervous for something.

"Ugh - stop" Malika demanded. "One sec."

Y/N waited for her friend to return, nervously biting the corner of her lip as her mind raced.

The cargo pants Malika let her borrow were perfect. They were loose enough that she felt comfortable but fit her waist perfectly. She made a mental note to go shopping and get a few outfits, since she clearly hated all her own clothes.

"Lookin good." Malika grinned. Y/N decided to give up on the thought of doing her hair and just let it fall naturally. She needed to stop worrying. She would be fine.

"Thanks." Y/N said, rubbing her palms onto the front of the pants "Is it too late for me to cancel?"

Y/N was nervous. She had no idea was to expect from this lunch - were they just going to catch up? It had been almost a year since she had seen him last, and she had changed so much that she wondered if he would be different too. She suddenly felt she was being irrational and shouldn't have let Malika answer the phone in the first place.

"Yes it is." Malika rolled her eyes "You're going."

Y/N wasn't sure what she wanted out of this, and that was her issue. She had finally moved on, and she was just going to open back up the very thing that tore her apart to begin with?

"You're over analyzing." Malika said softly "Just go to the fuckin' lunch, and if it doesn't feel right just be honest and don't do it again."

Y/N nodded at her friend. She still wasn't convinced, but she wasn't going to argue with her.

"Just remember he's a dirty cheater and you're allowed to take this as closure. If that's what you want."

"Thanks."

Malika was right. She didn't have to put any pressure on this - maybe Harry was feeling the same. Maybe this wasn't going to be anything other than a quick lunch from the past. She decided to just go in not expecting anything, it was safer that way.

Checking the time, she decided to head outside as the car should be there soon.

"Ms L/N?" The driver asked, pulling up to the curb.

Y/N let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Is this a mistake?

"Yes." She smiled, climbing into the back seat. "Now, where are we going?"

"Surprise." The driver said knowingly. "Bit of a drive so please make yourself comfortable."

Harry had been frantic from the moment he got off the phone with her. He needed this to be good - really good. If it didn't go well he knew he would never see her again, and he was determined to stop that from happening.

She came the show. He reminded himself. She wants to see him, or she simply wouldn't have come.

She didn't tell you she was coming, though. He thought. He brushed it away. It doesn't matter. She still came.

Harry had planned something good. They were going to a seafood restaurant, one with a glass floor so you could see fish and sharks swimming below your table. He had only been there once but he remembered thinking she would love it. He never had the chance to take her before so he wasn't going to let the opportunity pass this time.

It was a bit outside of Sydney. He probably shouldn't have committed to going so far from the venue but honestly, he would've cancelled tonight's show if she had only been available for dinner. They're lucky she was good for lunch - he stopped worrying about that.

He opted to going there early, he had rented out the main floor so he knew they wouldn't be bothered. He didn't want to risk anyone coming over and bringing up their past, so it seemed easier this way.

Harry was nervous. He didn't know what to expect, and even worse, he didn't know what she was expecting. He had missed her a lot, anf he would get back together with her in an instant if that's what she wanted. But he didn't want to pressure her. He just wanted to see her and was relieved she had accepted the invite.

She came to the show. He reminded himself. She said yes to lunch. She wants to see you.

Harry repeated those thoughts a few more times before heading out. He decided to drive himself, hoping that maybe she would want a lift home after and they could spend the drive back together.

No pressure. No expectations. Whatever happens.

Harry breathed out, starting the car and making the drive. He couldn't think of anything other than her the entire ride there.

Y/N was starting to get antsy, alone in the backseat with just her thoughts. It was further than she expected, which would be okay if she was even a bit familiar with the roads in Australia. She didn't even know what direction they were headed.

Eventually they hit the ocean, and she regained a bit of familiarity. At least they're on the coast; she loved to be near the ocean and immediately took comfort as she watched the waves in the horizon. She wondered if Harry remembered that or if he had someone else make the reservation.

It was a short ride after that, the driver stopping outside a small building on the edge of the beach. She thanked him and climbed out - taking a look at the small restaurant. There were no other cars around and minimal people along the beach.

Y/N was relieved for the privacy and made her way inside.

There were few employees, but they were expecting her and ushered her to the table promptly. Y/N didn't even have time to register who was around, her eyes glued to the glass floor. There were fish swimming beneath her - sea turtles and bass and a few more she didn't see long enough to properly identify. She couldn't stop herself from smiling widely.

"Hi." Harry greeted, standing as she arrived at a table right in the middle.

"Hi" She repeated, biting her lip. Y/N didn't know what to expect but it sure as shit wasn't this.

"You look great" He smiled. She felt underdressed compared to him but that was okay. Better to be underdressed than overdressed.

"This is so fucking cool." She gushed, squatting down to look at the aquarium beneath them. "Like really cool"

"Yeah - I came here for a work thing a few years ago and thought you might like it. I ordered a bottle of wine but you can get whatever."

Y/N nodded, looking back at Harry. She took her seat and he sat back down in front of her.

"Wine is good." She said, and Harry smiled. She was just as he remembered.

"How are things? Are you enjoying Australia?"

Y/N bit her lip again, eyes darting between the man across from her and the water just inches below them.

"So far so good." She smiled, flipping the wine glass right side up. "People are nice here."

"Nice people attract nice people." He said, pouring some wine into her glass. "I'm doing a few shows so it's been cool to stay here for more than just one or two nights"

Y/N nodded, taking a sip of the wine. It was very good, not that she was surprised. It probably costed more than her rent.

"Yeah it took me awhile to adjust to the time difference but I think once I finally settled into that, things just sorta went up from there."

"Good. I'm still struggling with the jet lag." He admitted, pouring himself a glass "But I definitely can't complain."

Y/N nodded again. It was definitely less awkward seeing him in person than the phone call they had the day before.

"So." He started, looking at her expectingly "Tell me about your work"

So she did. She told him about the job and the people - and the cool things she had seen since coming here. She was able to see some species she had only looked at in textbooks and was happy to talk about the experiences she'd had so far.

Harry nodded along, listening intently. He kept up even though she used the scientific names that went right over his head. He admired how smart she was and was relieved when he found out she had taken the job after all. She deserved it and he was happy she came to that realization after they split up. She didn't need anyone and the confidence looked good on her.

Y/N talked about fish for awhile. She talked about seeing sharks when she scuba dived and the nice family from France that just about shit when they saw it swimming near them. Y/N wasn't scared, though, and told him how proud of herself she was for taking risks she didn't know she was capable of.

"Congrats on the number one, by the way." Y/N complimented, turning the conversation towards him. Harry shrugged. He didn't care about commercial success but was happy to have the label ease off since the album was doing well. He knew she was aware of what he had written about so he didn't delve much further.

"Seriously - I hear it everywhere. Drove me crazy the first month or so but now I just smile everytime I go into a store and they're blaring it." She said

"Thanks, yeah. I almost didn't want it to be the lead single but I knew it was one of the best songs."

Harry was more or less the same as the last time Y/N saw him. His hair was a bit longer, not much but the extra inch or so looked good on him. He was dressed different - but she kind of liked it. He seemed more comfortable than she had ever seen him before. She was happy for him.

"I filmed another movie" He shared "Think it'll be my last one for a bit, though. Was a lot more work this time around."

"I can't wait to see it." She admitted. She had seen the last two films he was in and he did great. It was weird to see him pretending to be someone else, but she was proud that he stepped out of his comfort zone. He needs that - everybody needs that.

"It's not the same without you, though." He said, and she looked at him puzzled.

"What's not?'

"Touring - travelling, I dunno. Life I guess. My life. It's been a long time since I was out on the road without any reasons to go back."

Harry had gone back to LA everytime he was off. He didn't call her, or go to her house or anything crazy. He just felt a kind of comfort being 'home'. He chuckled at how many times he felt close to her when she was actually halfway across the world, unbeknownst to him.

"Me too." She admitted "It was weird to know what days you didn't have shows and not count the moments until they came."

Harry nodded, deciding not to comment on the fact that she knew at least some of his tour schedule.

"I didn't know you were in Australia though" She said "I sorta got lost in my work the last few months and it's funny how that happened right when you were nearby. I just about shit when Malika pulled the tickets out - I honestly didn't even know you were coming to Sydney."

Harry smiled sadly, he hadn't thought of her for a few months either. This leg of the tour had been constant - and she was so far away back in the US that he hadnt thought about what she was doing or if he may run into her in LA. His days off were spent writing and cooped up in the hotels.

"I didn't know you were in Sydney either." He smiled "Until I saw an article that you were at the show. Most of my team was surprised that I didn't know you attended."

Y/N bit her lip. She didn't want to admit that she decided against texting him that she was going.

"Yeah - I'll admit I had hoped I would fly under the radar." Harry was silent at that, so she quickly added "I'm really glad I got caught though"

Harry smiled to himself and finished his glass of wine, reaching to pour himself another.

"Yeah I kinda figured you didn't want me to know so I went back and forth about calling you." Harry said, and Y/N bit her lip

"Glad I did though" He winked and she let out a breath

"I was stupid to think no one would recognize me." She mumbled "I had gone so long without anyone knowing who I was I think I just assumed everyone forgot."

"I love them, but my fans never forget." He replied

"Yeah." Was all she said. She wasn't upset that people knew her anymore - she had really gotten used to it and had grown more accepting of the fact that it was just a part of being with someone famous. She was pretty lucky - people generally liked her. She was upset that she was naive enough to think it had really subsided, though.

"I'm still glad you came, though." He said, almost in a whisper.

"Me too." She finished her glass, turning her attention to the menu. "So, what should I order?"

The rest of the lunch went smoothly. They took their time eating and catching up, and Harry was sure he would never get her off his mind again. It was going well, really well.

But Y/N still wasn't sure what his intentions were. Would he want to be with her again? Was he happier without her? They both seemed to be doing okay but she felt her stomach drop at the thought of this lunch coming to an end. She didn't want to go back to her life without him after finally seeing him again.

She knew what she wanted so she decided to get it together and be straight forward.

"Uh, weird question. Is this a date?"

Harry nearly choked on the last bite of his food, not expecting her to say that at all.

"Oh um." He started, and Y/N regretted asking. "I don't really know, honestly."

Y/N sighed in relief. She didn't really know either. At least they were on the same page.

"Do you.. want it to be?" He finally added, turning his attention from his plate to the woman before him. He knew what he wanted - and yes, he hoped it was a date.

"I think so." She bit her lip. She was doing good, but the thought of reconnecting with Harry excited her more than anything. She was scared; she still felt a bit worried that things wouldn't work out between them. But now she knew she would be okay if they didn't. She could admit she wanted to try and that being with him right now made her feel like the last 18 months hadn't really happened.

"Okay." He smiled. He didn't expect it, but he definitely wasn't going to complain. He had prepared for the worst so he was happy to be pleasantly surprised. "Then it's a date."

Y/N blushed, nodding as she finished her third glass of wine. She didn't know where this was going to go or if things would work out between them, but that was okay. She was okay with that.

"We don't have to pick up where we left off." He said softly "I mean - let's just take it slow and see how things go."

"I like your rhymes." She smiled

"Thanks, It's the songwriter in me" He joked

"Thanks for calling me." She said "Not sure I would've ever gotten the courage."

"Not sure where mine came from." Harry said. That wasn't true, he saw she was at the show and knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't at least try. She came and he knew that meant something.

"Well, I'm really glad you did. I didn't think this.." She motioned between them, not really sure what to call it "Was even on your mind anymore."

He wanted to tell her that he thought about her for months after they broke up. He wanted to tell her that she was the only thing that mattered and he was a mess without her in the beginning. He wanted to tell her he hadn't been with anyone since because he knew it wouldn't be the same. He wanted to tell her a lot of things - but he decided to just enjoy that they could move forward now.

He was pleased she even wanted anything to do with him and he wasn't going to do anything to mess it up this time. He would make sure of it.

"It wasn't." He decided on. "But I think that's why it was perfect."

She nodded in agreement. It was perfect, and they both knew they would work hard to keep each other this time. She wanted to, though. And she was happy things would only go up from here.

"It is perfect."

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hope it was a satisfying ride. thank u guys for all the love - I wasn't expecting that at all so I'm glad you bullied me into writing more parts 🤪❤️

Requests are open if u want more angsttt or whateva

[ijustloveharry]

Damn you know how to write angst so well that it just sucker punches me in the gut every time. Love it though!

Thank you omg!!! always my most stressed over stuff so im so happy you guys like it 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[ijustloveharry]

Prompt ; "Hii can you write Harry styles × sister where she is younger than him and feels like he is neglecting her and favouring her twin more and also she is bullied at school . Something angsty with a happy ending." / 4.8k words / platonic anst & fluff & sibling stuff

Requests are open.

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Harry loved his sisters, and he'd do anything for them.

Gemma was older; she could take care of herself but Harry still felt responsible for her wellbeing.

Natalie and Gwen were a year younger, and Harry felt even more pressure to make sure nothing happened to them.

They didn't attend the same school as him this year, Harry had just graduated and was off to college. He stayed in town in case his mum and sisters needed anything.

Natalie got a boyfriend over the summer - and Harry wasted no time making sure to check if he was worth her time. He was. Harry and Jason got along pretty well and after getting his seal of approval, Gwen felt Natalie bonded with Harry in a way Gwen never got to.

Gwen loved her older brother. She loved her sister. But she always felt second best to everyone in their family; she didn't have any special people to bring home, she didn't have any major hobbies or extra curriculars. She did okay in school and worked a weekend job at the bowling alley.

Harry came with his friends most Saturdays - Gwen loved that he would visit her at work and grill her coworkers about her life and how well she was doing. She didn't have anyone to go out with on the weekend so seeing Harry and his friends made her feel like she was a part of something.

Until Natalie and Jason started getting invited.

Gwen didnt want to be petty. She couldn't come right out and tell Natalie that it was her and Harry's thing and that maybe she could just fuck off for once in her life. Natalie and Gwen loved each other but they were "much too different to hang out together all the time."

I guess Harry and Natalie weren't too different to hang out as friends, though.

Gwen began to dread Saturday nights, She even tried to switch to the morning shift, but no one wants to work Saturday nights. They all have plans with their friends.

Like clockwork, they rolled in around 830pm. Gwen always had a lane reserved for them, and bowling shoes ready. Harry always came early to make sure she was having a good shift before his friends showed up.

The last couple weeks, though, Natalie and Jason had arrived first. Natalie didn't talk to Gwen, avoided her almost, and by the time Harry showed up they were all eager to start their game.

Gwen hated Natalie for that. She didn't say anything, though. She just shut up and kept working.

When they were finished with their rounds, the group piled to the counter to drop off the shoes they had just finished with. They were discussing an upcoming party, and Gwen tried to tune out so she didn't feel too horrible about not being in invited. Harry noticed she was checked out.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked. Gwen shrugged.

"You guys should come on Saturday - a couple guys girlfriends are your age so it'll be good. I think it's at Bryan's - let me check the texts"

"I'll be there. But I dunno why you bother with her, Harry, she's not going to want to go to a party"

"Sure I do." Gwen said swiftly "Why wouldn't I?"

"Oh, it's just, who would you hang out with?"

Harry looked at Natalie puzzled, before turning back to Gwen "It's at Bryan's, 11pm. I'll bring you guys some booze."

Natalie didn't get Jason to give Gwen a ride. She said they wanted to hang out just the two of them before heading over. Gwen opted to take the bus. She bought a new outfit, she thought she looked pretty cute. The top was a bit smaller than what she'd usually wear, but that didn't bother her for once. She felt good; she looked good. And she wanted to meet people and her usual clothes weren't prepared for this kind of social interaction.

Gwen brought a bottle of vodka. She had gotten it from their aunt years back and never had anyone to drink it with. She was in twelfth grade, she decided she didn't need anyone to share vodka with.

"Hey - I told you I was gonna get the liquor." Harry teased, He was not impressed with his sister's low cut shirt but decided to leave it.

"Where'd you even get that, anyway?" Natalie asked. Of course she was already here.

Gwen chose to ignore her and headed towards the kitchen. She placed the bottle in the sea of others and mixed herself a drink. She didn't know what she was doing but she figured confidence was key.

It wasn't. She was sure she had never had anything that tasted worse, and she stood in the kitchen until she finished her drink to try again for round 2. It was just as bad.

"Damn, looking to get fucked up?"

Gwen stopped pouring the clear liquid, turning to the source of the voice. She didn't think she had ever met this guy before.

"Steve" he introduced

"Gwen" She smiled.

"Let me show you" Steve offered, using a shot glass to measure the amount of alcohol for the drink. "Two shots is usually more than enough"

"Oh, I put way more than that"

"I saw." Steve laughed "Wasn't sure if you just liked your liquor."

"Not a big drinker" Gwen admitted

"Not yet" He winked, clinking his cup against hers.

"Harry's sister?" Steve asked her

'Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I dunno. Similar vibe."

Gwen wondered what that meant, but decided not to ask. Harry had a good vibe, she thought.

"I think they're playing never have I ever in the living room if you want to mingle"

"Sure" Gwen shrugged. She didn't really know what people were 'supposed' to do at parties.

"Can we join?" Gwen asked, piping up when they entered the circle

"Gwen - you've never done anything, so I'm not sure you'll get much out of this game." Natalie giggled, rolling closer to Jason. Gwen's grip tightened around her cup.

"Never have I ever.... fucked in a car"

Most people drank, including Natalie, but Gwen wasn't embarrassed that she hadn't had sex. She was 17, she was fine.

They went around the circle, and Gwen was starting to get a bit sweaty. She hadn't drank once yet.

"Never have I ever.... kissed someone in public"

Gwen decided to drink. It wasn't really true, but I mean - she had kissed her relatives on the cheeks and that counted enough for her topsy state.

"C'mon, you know she's lying." Natalie mocked, pointing directly at Gwen "The past five minutes is the most attention she's ever gotten in her life."

It was that moment Gwen decided to leave the game and head back to the kitchen.

"You're such a bitch, you know that Natalie? Why do you always have to make everything worse?" Harry's voice could be heard, Gwen tried not to care about any of it.

The colour in Natalie's face drained, clearly not expecting her brother to scold her in front of a room of college freshman.

"Let me, man. Enjoy yourself." Steve smiled. Harry didn't like that.

"All good - seriously, all good." Harry threatened.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her brother asked, joining her in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm good." She smiled. Honestly, she was good. Those drinks she had were pretty strong.

"Don't listen to her, she's just going through it-"

"I don't give a fuck about Natalie, Harry." Gwen interrupted, finishing off her drink "She's always like that."

Harry was surprised to hear that. "What do you mean?"

"I mean she goes out of her way to make sure people don't want anything to do with me. It's fucking weird, but I'm used to it. I don't know what her problem is and I don't give a fuck."

Gwen poured herself another drink and Harry eyed her skeptically. He wondered how much she'd had.

"Jesus - I'm fine." She said. She wasn't fine. She was drunk.

"Uh huh." Harry wasn't convinced.

"Thought this was a party" She mumbled, finishing mixing up her drink the way Steve taught her. "What do you know about Steve?"

"Don't talk to Steve." Harry said simply. He didn't elaborate.

"O-kay." She smiled "Who should I talk to them?"

"No one. This was a mistake."

That pissed Gwen off. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I thought you were gonna wear a cardigan or some shit not come here looking like you're trying to get laid."

Gwen raised her eyebrows at her brother.

"I'm not.. trying to get laid, Jesus. Does it look that bad? Should I change?"

Harry realized his mistake, and cursed himself for commenting on her appearance at all.

"No - God, no. I've just never seen you dress like that, is'all."

"Maybe I should more often" She smirked, grabbing two clean shot glasses from the stack. "Now do a shot with your baby sister?"

Harry chuckled, he didn't want to condone her drinking any further but he also wanted to give her room to be a teenager. He was still a teenager himself and he needed to remember that.

"Sure."

He watched as Gwen poured the liquor into the small glasses, clinking them before they shot it back. Gwen winced. That was the worst.

"Harry, I'm not really feeling well. I think I might need a ride home." Natalie was standing at the kitchen door; she looked absolutely fine, for the record.

"Guess it pays not to drink so much in never have I ever." Gwen mumbled. Harry caught it but he refrained from chuckling at her remark.

"I thought Jason was driving you?" He said simply, He'd just started drinking. He didn't want to leave.

"He wants to stay" Natalie pouted "Please? I wouldnt ask if I didn't have to"

Harry cursed to himself and agreed, heading to the door to find his keys and jacket.

"Shotgun." Natalie smirked to her sister

"I'm not gonna go just cuz you are." Gwen said simply, glancing through the different types of alcohol on display. "Have fun at home though."

Natalie was about to protest, but Harry came back and wiggled the keys at her.

"Ready?"

"Gwen says she's not coming, I can just wait until she's ready to go." Natalie said, sighing "Annoying but I'll be okay"

"All good. She can cab home with me later. Tell Jason he's a dick for me."

Gwen saluted them goodbye, and was left alone in the kitchen again. She decided to explore.

"Hey, I'm Gwen. How do you guys know Bryan?"

The group stopped their conversation, huddled around the fire in the backyard. They were passing around a joint, Gwen assumed before walking up, and she figured they would be the most open to meeting someone new.

"Econ." One guy finally said "You're Harry's sister?"

"Yeah." She shifted. She wondered how they knew Harry.

"You must be the hot one, right? I heard one of the twins was smokin and the other one was a total loser. Must be glad you're not your sister."

Gwen shuffled uncomfortably. Did Harry say that?

"Unfortunately I think I might be the loser." She joked. "Glad I can pass as Natalie though."

"Yikes, my bad. Jason was telling everyone that, I didn't realize the other sister was even here. Want a hit?"

Gwen hesitated before taking the lit joint, inhaling the smoke way too much. She coughed slightly, but suppressed it enough to play it cool.

"First time smoking weed?" The girl next to her asked "Hey, sit down."

She shuffled over slightly and Gwen found a seat next to her.

"I'm Carmen, this is Zack. The asshole, over there, is Dex. Don't listen to him."

"Yeah my bad." He interjected "You definitely look like the hot one."

Gwen smiled to herself at that, proud she went out of her comfort zone. The shirt showed a lot more chest than what she usually opted for so she was happy to hear it was paying off.

"You're in grade twelve, right? Do you know what you want to do when you graduate?" Carmen asked, smiling at her warmly.

Gwen did know, but she debated sharing.

"Neuroscience." She finally said

"Fuck yeah, smart and hot. My kind of girl." Dex said. Gwen blushed.

"Shut the fuck up, Dex, Harry will beat your ass to a pulp." Zack cut in

Gwen rolled her eyes. "He probably wouldn't even notice."

She was right. Harry had come back and was playing beer pong inside. He knew Gwen was somewhere. Natalie was home and Gwen was around - that was good enough for him.

"Yooo can I have a puff?" A girl leaned in, smoking the joint from Gwen's fingers. It had just been passed back to her and was nearly gone,to her dismay.

"I'll light another" Carmen read her mind, passing it over to Gwen. "Neuroscience is cool. I'm in education, which sucks so far."

Gwen nodded. She had yet to meet any of the people her own age that Harry had mentioned earlier that week.

"Like you wanna be a teacher? Ewwww" The drunken girl exclaimed. Gwen never caught her name.

"What do you want to do?" Carmen asked her politely

The girl shrugged, plopping to take a seat on the grass.

Gwen maintained conversation - she was surprised she could keep up when they discussed their intro classes. Who knew all her reading would benefit her at a party so much?

"Hey - there you are."

Harry's voice cut off Carmen's story. Gwen was really invested so she waved Harry away.

"Hey Harry" Dex smiled, standing to give him and embarrassing bro hug. Gwen hated seeing Harry talk to his male acquaintances.

"Keeping and eye on her?" He raised an eyebrow at Carmen. She laughed.

"She can take care of herself."

Gwen smiled at that, but her felt the ping in her chest when he immediately walked away. He would have stayed and looked out for Natalie.

"Wanna go inside? I could use another drink" Gwen turned to Carmen. She nodded and gathered the few things she had askew on the seat next to her. She told Gwen it was to prevent guys from 'helping themselves and feeling her up'.

They did a shot in the kitchen before moving to the basement. It was the only place Y/N hadn't ventured yet but Carmen immediately headed that way.

It was busier down there. There was a pool table and a steady flow of beer pong rounds going on.

Behind the table was a whiteboard - Harry's name scrawled at the top. He was the current champion, I guess.

"Wanna play doubles?" Steve came up to the two girls, wagging the ball.

"I don't do beer pong." Carmen rejected "But you go ahead."

Gwen shrugged. Why not.

They played against another couple, Gwen couldn't quite remember their names. (Jen and Mike? Jesse and Mal? She didn't know).

Her and Steve won, to her surprise she was actually pretty good.

"Damn Styles, where you been hiding your sister?"

Gwen froze at Steve's forward remark. She knew Harry wouldn't like it.

"The library." He slurred. Oh, he was drunk. She had never seen him proper drunk before.

"Well all that physics or whatever helped her slay at beer pong. We'll have to vs you and Hannah sometime."

Harry stopped for a moment, before carrying on without another word. Two hours ago he told her not to talk to Steve, and now he was totally fine to leave her alone with him? What the fuck, Harry?

"Think I need another drink" She didn't "Wanna head upstairs?"

Steve nodded and the trudged up the stairs. That, Harry noticed. He got a scolding for embarrassing Natalie on the car ride home - he wasn't going to make that mistake again. He'll leave her. She's fine. Steve's fine.

"Have you had fireball before?" Steve asked, pulling a Mickey from his back pocket

"No" She admitted, reaching for a shot glass.

"Nah" He brushed her hand away, passing her the plastic bottle "Just swig it from the bottle"

Gwen obeyed, downing the liquid quickly. It burned, really burned, and she decided she liked fireball.

"Good, right?" Steve asked, taking a swig for himself. "So tell me about you."

"What about me?" Gwen asked, leaning on her hands on the counter "Not much to tell."

"Tell me what you like. About your friends. I dunno." Steve was leaning with his back against the counter, fully looking at Gwen

"I don't have many friends" She admitted "I don't get along with people my age much."

Steve smiled at that. He liked her.

"People your age kinda suck." Steve said

"Yeah." Gwen agreed "Especially my sister."

"You have a sister?" He asked

Gwen was about to tell him that she, in fact, had two, when Harry trudged up the stairs.

"Wanna come out for a blunt?" Harry asked

"Sure" Gwen replied, glancing at Steve expectingly. He shifted awkwardly, declining Harry's offer.

"Don't smoke much." He shared "I'll catch you around"

Gwen pouted at his swift exit, following after Harry to the back porch.

"So, who's Hannah?" Gwen teased. Harry didn't look over at her.

"Literally no one." He finally replied "I told you not to talk to Steve"

Gwen shrugged "It's not like you were talking to me."

"I'm not your fucking babysitter" He mumbled, kicking a rock as he puffed on the freshly lit joint.

"Exactly. I can talk to whoever I want."

Gwen was proud of herself - really proud. The liquor looked good on her, she thought.

"You're still my sister." He said, passing it over to her. "And Steve is no good."

"He was nice to me." She stated "And didn't cross any lines."

Harry scoffed, finally taking a seat beside her.

"Not yet. Did he offer you fireball?"

Gwen got defensive, why was he being like this?

"So what if he did?"

"Exactly" Harry chuckled "Fuckin Steve."

"I haven't done anything wrong"

"I didnt say you did."

"Well you're implying-"

"I am not implying anything. I'm just telling you not to talk to Steve."

"You're being an ass, and I'm going back inside."

Gwen left the porch swiftly, joining the sea of people. It was just before 2am, and it seemed like the party was in full swing. She glanced around for anyone she may have met earlier.

"Hi! I'm Fatima." A girl smiled, coming into Gwen's line of sight.

"Gwen" She said, relieved to have joined a conversation instead of continuing to awkwardly looking around. "Got busy all of a sudden."

"Yeah, that always happens at Bryan's parties." Fatima smiled knowingly "I'm Bryan's girlfriend, by the way."

"Nice to meet you." Gwen said "I'm having a great time."

"Do you go to school with him? What's your connection?"

"Harry's sister."

"Ohhh." Fatima said knowingly "He gave a pretty hefty pep talk to the guys before tonight. Said everyone better leave you alone or there'd be hell to pay. Probably scared them all off, hope you haven't had a hard time meeting people tonight"

She talked fast, Gwen almost missed what she had said. She found Harry's protective nature endearing - maybe she should find him and apologize.

"Wait, I thought his sister name was Natalie?" Fatima stopped, pulling someone over "The girl Harry was warning everyone about, what was her name again?"

"Natalie." The girl confirmed "She left though"

Gwen stood there awkwardly, unsure how to respond to the current conversation in front of her. Guess Harry really wasn't worried about anyone being interested in her.

"Oh, I'm Cherry by the way." The girl stuck her hand out "Harry's girlfriend, if you know Harry."

Gwen smirked. Oh, so Harry had a girlfriend?

"I'm Gwen, Harry's sister. Natalie is my twin, she went home cuz she wasn't feeling well." Gwen suddenly felt very, very petty. "Guess she can't handle her liquor."

"Guess not." Cherry said "have you seen Harry? He left to play beer pong ages ago but I haven't seen him awhile."

"Last I saw he was talking to Hannah." Gwen smiled "Looked friendly."

Cherry looked at her baffled. Guilt immediately flooded to her gut as she realized what consequences could come.

"Interesting. Excuse me, I'll be back."

Fatima looked at her, eyes wide.

"Do you know who Hannah is?" She asked, Gwen shrugged.

"No but Harry's a fucking prick so I'm sure he'll deserve what he gets."

At that, Gwen turned on her heel and headed towards the kitchen.

Carmen and Zack were about to pour shots, which Gwen gladly agreed to join in on. She poured herself another drink and chatted with them in the kitchen for awhile. She had almost forgotten about Harry, until he came storming in.

"Gwen, can I talk to you?"

"Kinda busy" She brushed off. Carmen eyes the two anxiously

Harry's eyes narrowed at the empty shot glasses and the half finished cup in her hand.

"I was thinking we could go now."

"You can do whatever you want Harry, it's none of my business."

Harry was getting frustrated. He obviously couldn't leave her here, but he was ready to go home.

"I met Cherry, She seems lovely." Gwen smiled sickly. Zack scoffed.

"She's not." Carmen said, removing the cup from Gwen's hand "But Harry knows that."

Harry rolled his eyes at the pair, narrowing them slightly.

"So have you two fucked again?" He asked. Carmen froze and looked over at Zac. Zac was glaring at Harry

"Again? Zack what the fuck." Carmen slammed her cup onto the counter and stormed out. Zac cursed and followed after her.

"Spoiler alert: they haven't fucked yet." Harry said. Gwen shrugged

"Who cares if they have." She picked her cup back up from the counter and continued to sip on it slowly. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend" He mumbled, pouring himself another cup "Thinks she is though"

"I think that means you have a girlfriend." Gwen stated "better break up with her if it's not serious"

Harry was tense now, more tense than Gwen had seen him in awhile. She wondered about the inner workings of his love life, but he always spared the women in his life of the details. There was no one serious enough for him to talk about.

"Think that's done now." He admitted, downing the rest of his drink before promptly refilling it "On my ass about how my sister said I was making out with Hannah"

Gwen snorted, placing her empty cup on the counter next to Harry's. He hesitated before filling it with water.

"That's not what I said"

"Well whatever you said - thanks. Been trying to get her to leave me alone since grade eleven."

That surprised Gwen. They went to the same school for two years - she had never even seen Cherry before. She wondered what else she didn't know about her brother.

"I was" He said. Gwen looked at him questioningly "Making out with Hannah, I mean."

"Oh" Gwen didn't know what she was supposed to say to that. "Was it good?"

"No" Harry laughed, tapping the cup of water in her hand.

Gwen obliged and sipped the cup.

"Sorry to hear that." She finally said

Harry shrugged. "Such is life."

"Not my life." Gwen said quietly and Harry glanced at her

"I've never kissed anyone" She admitted

"What?" Harry asked, He didn't believe her "Don't you have like a nerdy study boy - er or girl? question mark? that you run off to all the time?"

"No" Gwen laughed "Is that what you think? I head to the library at night to meet a mystery boygirl"

"That's what Natalie thinks."

"Natalie is a pro at making shit up."

"Yeah." He agreed. "So you just run off by yourself and, what, read?"

"Basically, yeah. Sometimes I cry."

Harry frowned.

"Well why don't you ever want to come hang out?"

"What?"

"Like parties and stuff, Natalie always says you don't want to come."

"Natalie has never onced asked me." Gwen said

"Of course she hasn't." Harry mumbled "What a bitch."

"Yeah, I mean you've never invited me either. Natalie's always with you" Gwen said pointedly "Literally always."

"Yeah because she begs me to come." Harry rolled his eyes "She's so annoying."

"She is annoying" Gwen agreed. Tonight has been very eye opening.

"I knew you'd like my friends more than she would - sorry, I guess I shouldn't have taken her word for it."

"Why do you think that?"

Harry shrugged. "Because we get along better."

"We do?"

Harry looked at her like he had been hit by a bus. Suddenly Gwen felt bad, really bad. She clearly didn't know Harry as well as she thought she did.

"I mean - yeah. Uh, I thought so.."

"I always thought you liked Natalie more."

"I mean, you're both my sisters and I love you guys, obviously I love her to death. But she's always needy and she's kind of stupid so I don't love to have her around all the time because I feel like I gotta keep an eye on her, or whatever. I dunno. I guess I just trust you more to handle yourself."

Gwen laughed to herself, and Harry joined in shortly after.

"Yeah I used to be really beat up she didn't want to hang out with me - be my friend, I guess, but as I get older I just think she's right. We don't have a lot in common."

"Yeah but honestly I think that's what kills her. She's pretty insecure, and I think you make her jealous. Did you see her face earlier when you said you aren't gonna leave? I thought she was gonna shit"

Gwen laughed. She wished she had confided in Harry sooner.

"Love her though." Gwen said.

"I love her too, but it's always about her. I don't think she wants to come and meet my friends - I think she wants to tell her friends she has college friends."

Gwen knew that was probably true, but she didn't comment on it further. She had never heard Harry complain about Natalie. It was refreshing.

"Gotta protect her or whatever but God I would love to stop worrying about her all the time."

As if on cue, Jason came in, giggling, hand in hand with some blonde girl Gwen had never seen. Harry's jaw tensed.

"Let me." Gwen eased.

"Don't mean to be a party pooper, but this guy gave my sister, his GIRLFRIEND, chlamydia. Might want to avoid him." Gwen said to the girl.

The girl looked at Jason disgusted, and stormed back to the basement. Jason was about to scold Gwen off before he realized who she was. His mouth dropped to an o, and Harry watched the scene unfold from behind the island.

"Yeah. You should probably just go."

"I dont-"

"Get the fuck out, Jason." Harry said, not moving from his spot.

Jason rolled his eyes and left. Harry and Gwen burst out laughing.

"She deserves it though." Harry said "Obviously I wouldn't tell her that and he did seem kind of nice but I'm not surprised that she doesn't know how to pick them."

"I don't know how to pick them either." Gwen teased. Harry looked at her confused

"Steve?" She reminded

"I really like Steve."

"What?" Gwen laughed "Well then what the fuck was your problem?"

"I know Steve." Harry said simply "He's nice. Of course you find the one nice guy whose ass I don't want to have to kick. I figured Natalie would be my problem tonight, not you."

Gwen smiled to herself. She liked Steve too.

"Never in a million years would I have guessed it would be Nat going home early. I figured you'd bus out of here at like 1130 or some shit and she'd get shitfaced and I'd have to hold her hair back."

Gwen was surprised, and clearly her face showed it because Harry lightly shoved her shoulder, pointing to the last few sips of her water.

She finished it off and tossed the cup in the garbage.

"Ready to go?" Harry asked

"Sure." She shrugged. She felt she had gotten what she wanted and more out of tonight.

"Oh! Are you guys leaving?" A voice snapped Harry and Gwen to the patio door, Steve was walking in and slid the door shut behind him.

"No man - just me. Take care of her for me, yeah?" Harry smiled at Gwen knowingly

"Of course. Have a good night."

Gwen was about to protest but Harry waved his hand to stop her. "Have fun."

"Bye Harry" Gwen smiled at her brother. He gave her a quick hug.

"Text me if you need anything" He whispered, Gwen softly nodded onto his shoulder.

"Be safe!" Harry called back, heading out towards the front door.

"So, how about another drink?" Steve smiled

[ijustloveharry]

HOW COULD HE DO THIS? / pt 3 l 3k words

already wrote part 4 I promise it's coming 😛

that'll be the last one tho

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Y/N was trying. She really was.

And Harry had been great to her. Sometimes she even forgot about everything that went down. Until she remembered again.

Her whole life changed, that's for sure. She was publicly dating Harry Styles. Publicly dating him after he publicly cheated on her.

People loved her. People pitied her. She didn't care what people thought about it. She just wished she could go back to normal.

But she didn't really know what normal was anymore.

Harry gave her the right amount of space. They took a step back and it had been good for Y/N. She believed she could still make it work.

Sometimes he tried too hard, though. She didn't want to be spoiled, she didn't want to go on vacation every weekend. She wanted to look at fish and study and not have every fucking teacher take her aside and ask her if the classroom was "really the right fit for her." She paid her tuition. She paid to be there and she didn't care if she was the topic of conversation at the back of the room. It wasn't her fault the other students were distracted. It wasn't her fault and she wasnt going to let things change if she could help it.

She couldn't help it. Her project partners spent more time asking about Harry than about the subject material, and she was sure she was inches from her breaking point.

She didn't want to talk about it; especially not with strangers. She wanted to get into seminars and co ops because she was skilled in her field, not because her presence gave the school and advisors more exposure and funding.

She was seconds from leaving her dreams and career behind because they didn't feel like they were even hers anymore.

She cried about it often. Harry knew how this whole ordeal had affected her.

He wanted to make it up to her. He had to make it right. He got her a job offer in Australia - she'd get to work in the great barrier reef and have opportunities she would have only dreamed of doing 6 months ago.

She liked it better when they were just dreams. At least they were her dreams.

"I'm sorry - I'm just trying to help." Harry exasperated. She didn't want his help. She didn't want anything from anyone and she was annoyed that everyone seemed to want something from her.

She couldn't go to the gym. She couldn't go to the grocery store. She couldn't even take a regular airplane, for godsake. She couldn't help but feel the resentment building and infecting the relationship she had committed to rebuilding.

Harry could feel it. He hoped it would lessen but he could feel it getting worse. The harder he tried the worse it got. Y/N wasn't the same and he didn't know how to handle that it was his fault.

He didn't handle it; he ignored it. He told himself he deserved the guilt and shame and let it fester instead of going to her. Maybe it would've been different if he had.

"I know you are, Harry, but you've done enough, don't you think?" She snapped. She had been snapping at him a lot. He was supposed to be the only thing that didn't stress her out. Wasn't that the whole point of going through all of this?

She could forgive him for cheating, she thought, but she wasn't sure if she could ever forgive him for the way her life had changed. She tried to ignore it because she knew it wasn't his fault. She knew it was a risk from when they got together and she still only endured half of what he went through.

Harry was silent. He felt bad enough, and he completely shut down when she directed her anger at him. He deserved it. She had a right to be angry.

"Sorry, H." She sighed, running her hands through her hair. "I just don't know who I am anymore and I don't know what to do."

Harry was still silent. He didn't know how to comfort her. He felt he had tried everything to make her happy again.

"It doesn't matter that you're meeting them through me, Y/N" Harry sighed. "It was your qualifications that have them interested, I'm just helping you get your foot in the door."

"And don't you think that's the fucking problem? Everyone will think I'm only there because I road your coattails and I'm not interested. Please drop it."

She was being unfair. Knowing someone was everything - nepotism and networking meaning a hell of a lot more than working your way up. That's the real world. She didn't care. She was too proud.

Harry rolled his eyes, he was starting to get annoyed. She was being too stubborn about this and he was furious that should would let an opportunity like this slide by.

"It wouldn't have mattered to you a few months ago that I got you the spot so I'm not sure why it has to be different now."

"It's completely different now." She muttered "And a few months ago you could've gotten me an interview, maybe, but for them to just offer me a spot? You just don't get it."

He didn't get it, and she wasn't helping him understand.

"You don't need to do an interview because I've basically told them everything about you already" He rolled his eyes "They know who you are and what you've done."

She slammed her textbook down, finally directing her cold stare right at Harry.

"Exactly. That's exactly why I'm not doing it."

Harry sighed in defeat. Is this how it was going to be? Every time he wanted to do something nice for her she'll think he has ulterior motives?

"You didn't even apply when I told you about it, Y/N, it's not like you tried to get in on your own."

She bit her lip at that. It was the truth, she hadn't applied. She didn't know what she wanted and she hadn't applied because she would have to go if she got in. She didn't think she wanted it that bad.

"I didnt want to" She shrugged "Okay?"

Harry let out a breath. At least she was being honest for once.

"Uh, no, not okay." He said "What the fuck do you mean? Why not?"

Y/N didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to do anything. She didn't tell him that.

"Because its been ruined like everything else." She mumbled, and Harry sighed loudly.

"Why does it have to be, though?" He pleaded with her

"I don't have any safe space away from everything, Harry. Everywhere I go - work, school, out; you're everywhere. My friends and family ask about you, I get hundreds of messages a day about you. I'm tired. I have nothing for myself and it's exhausting."

Harry didn't have a remark for that one. He felt the guilt go even deeper.

"I'm just gonna go home tonight, I think. I have some more studying to do and I'd like to get ahead of my next project so maybe we can do something together this weekend. Okay?"

Not okay, he thought, but he wasn't going to push her anymore.

"Whatever, Y/N, I'll see you then."

Y/N left without another word or a kiss goodbye. She felt stupid for thinking anything would go back to the way it was. Things were different, they were both different. Maybe they just didn't fit together anymore.

Maybe she should've just let go when she had the chance.

~~~~~

The remaining weeks of the semester went by fast. Y/N stopped trying as hard. The teachers gave her good grades anyway. She didn't think there was a point anymore and she wasn't sure she was even going to go for the last two seminars of her degree.

Y/N had no more ambitions. She didn't accept the job in Australia, to Harry's dismay, and she told him if he brought it up again she would leave and never come back. He stopped bringing it up.

Y/N had skipped previous two classes and she wasn't sure she could force herself to go today. She thought about bailing on her final exams and projects and just doing nothing. It didn't matter anyway. Harry was supposed to pick her up after class and she debated just going to the school 15 minutes before so he wouldn't know.

She didn't care what he thought, but it seemed easier than fighting with him.

She opted to stay home and scrolled through her phone instead. She could retake the classes if she decided she wanted to. She could do whatever she wanted, and she wanted to do nothing.

An hour went by quick, and before she realized it Harry was calling her. Checking the time, she realized he had likely been waiting at the school for a good 20 minutes.

"Hey, sorry. I forgot to text you - I didn't go to class. You can just come over if you want."

She heard him sigh, but he didn't say anything other than a short "okay" and hung up. She should've just told him to go home.

It wasn't long before she was buzzing him in. She found her spot back in her bed after opening the door and didn't say anything before crawling back under the covers and resuming the tiktok she had been watching before he arrived.

"I'm worried about you."

Y/N pulled her gaze from her phone and looked at him hovering in the door frame.

"You've given up and it's not fair to me." He sighed

"I haven't given up, I'm here, I'm with you, aren't I?" He was being ridiculous. She didn't want to have this conversation.

"No, Y/N, you're not." He said quietly "You've been totally checked out for the last three months and I've tried to be patient but it's like you don't even want this to work."

Y/N scoffed at him

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, I'm not kidding." He stated plainly. She was furious that he was able to keep his composure while simultaneously pushing her over the edge. "It's like you want me to fucking hit the point where I have to leave you so you don't have to be the bad guy."

"Leave then!" She shouted, tossing her phone to the other side of the bed "Fucking leave if this is so hard for you, Harry."

"You know that's not what I want" His jaw clenched "I just want to feel like you're trying to make the best out of everything that's happened."

Y/N laughed at him, really laughed. A mocking laugh that unsettled Harry to his core.

"I am trying, Harry, and i'm fucking miserable anyway."

"Don't you think I know that?" He said sadly. She wanted him to fight back; she didn't want to feel sorry for him.

"You don't get to be upset when you did this." She said cooly "Everything was fine until you fucked up."

"I can't take it back and if you don't think you can forgive me for it, I don't know what the fuck we're even doing, Y/N."

He was being serious. He was being rational. Y/N wasn't, and she didn't appreciate the shift in conversation.

"I don't know either." She admitted. She had spent so long finding comfort in her anger that she didn't know how to handle how heartbroken she really felt.

Harry didn't feel like hers anymore. Nothing felt like it was hers anymore.

"I dont want to do anything anymore"

Harry knew this. He could see her getting less involved in her school; he could see her pulling away from her friends, from him. He felt helpless - she didn't want anything from him and he didn't know what to do.

"Why did you do it?" She whispered. She didn't know if she wanted to know the answer. "Was I not enough for you?"

Harry ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't have an answer for her.

"I don't know." He admitted. He sighed and sat on the bed next to her. "I really, really don't know."

"I think I need to know." She said simply "That's not good enough."

Harry sighed. He wished he had the answers.

"I was lonely and you weren't there, I guess." He licked his lips, Y/N waited for him to elaborate.

"She didn't mean anything. I didn't love her - hell, I barely knew her." He wasn't sure how any of this could possibly help. "She wanted more and I was upfront that I never wanted anything to do with her again."

Y/N nodded. She wasn't sure she trusted herself to speak.

"Nothing more happened, other than the photos you saw. I shouldn't have gone to the beach with her, I guess. I knew when I left the hotel that it felt wrong but I told myself I was reading too much into it. I told myself I would never do that to you so I had nothing to worry about."

Y/N's looked away at the mention of the photos.

"I was wrong." He gulped. "I hate myself for it, but I can't take it back. I was going to be home that weekend - I was going to tell you. I didn't think you were going to find out the way that you did, but I also wasn't going to lie about it once you found out. I care about you a lot and I never, ever wanted to hurt you."

"I just thought we were so solid" She stated "I thought it was the best we had been, and if that wasn't good enough for you I don't know if I ever will be"

"It had nothing to do with you" Harry assured "Nothing. If you had been there I wouldn't have even thought twice, I was just away for too long and lost sight of what we had and what was important."

"I pushed it too far and I shouldn't have worked for so long." He confessed "I love working and I wanted to make it a priority, but I sacrificed the only thing that was more important, and I'm really sorry. I can't take it back and I know that but I'm willing to work hard to fix this. I can't fix it by myself. You have to be willing to work to forgive me and find a way to trust me again or you're just going to hate me, and that's the last thing I want.

Harry couldn't look at her, he didn't want to see her face. He could read her to well.

"I know I want to be with you and marry you one day - now more than ever. She didn't compare to you at all and it was a stupid kiss and I stopped it before it was anything. It wasn't an affair, it wasn't anything other than a mistake."

"I just want you to hurt the same way you hurt me and I don't know how to get past that." Y/N admitted "I want to forgive you, but I don't know how"

"I don't know either." Harry said "But you can't do it alone. We have to work through it together and we can't if you shut me out."

Y/N had been shutting him out. She had wanted to create distance to protect herself from being hurt again. She didn't know how she could ever be vulnerable with him after how he had made her feel.

"I just want things to go back to the way they were" she said softly

"It won't, Y/N." Harry sighed sadly "I'm sorry - but it is different now. I know it's my fault. And I know it's my fault that the whole world knows and that sucks but you have to figure out if you thinks it's worth building something new because that's what we have to do."

She didn't want something new. She wanted her old life back. She desperately wanted what they had and she didn't know if she could patch the wounds enough to make new good memories.

She began to cry, and Harry hesitated before pulling her into a hug. She cried into his shoulder and he held her silently until she stopped.

"Maybe it's just too hard" He sighed. She couldn't see his face but she could tell he was crying too "Maybe it's just too much and we just need more time"

"Time hasn't done anything except make it worse" She sniffled

"I know, baby" He sighed, resting his chin on her head "I don't want to let you go but I also can't let you to resent me. If you need more space - more time, then that's what we have to do."

They were both crying now, neither of them wanting to finish the conversation they had both been so scared to have.

"I don't want to let you go" She whimpered

"I know, but you can always have me back." He promised, pressing a kiss to her head. "Maybe we both just need some time to forgive me, you know?"

Y/N knew what he meant. He hadn't forgiven himself, either, and was spending all his energy consoling her and it wasn't helping their relationship. They needed space. They needed to make room to love eachother again.

"Okay." She whispered. They were still hugging, and she held him just a little bit tighter.

Harry never wanted to let go.

"Okay." He cried "Okay - I love you and I promise I'll always love you."

"I love you to, Harry." She confessed, hot tears falling from her eyes "I'll call you."

"No you won't" He smiled sadly. "But that's my own fault."

She sniffled as he kissed her, unbothered by her wet cheeks. He really kissed her; he knew it'd be the last time.

"I'll see you, Y/N."

"Goodbye Harry"

[ijustloveharry]

bestie pls a part three and a resolution for the angst cheating piece 🙏

🙉🙉🙉

[ijustloveharry]

‘HOW COULD HE DO THIS’ MADE ME SOB?!? hello 😭 amazing top tier angst, pls continue

she's comin 🏇🏇🏇

[ijustloveharry]

I know it was just a kiss, but she doesn’t know that right? I’d love to see a happy ending, but Harry really needs to work for it more!!

he gets no happy ending I s2g u guys asking for angst and I'll give it u angst. working on it rn 🤪

[ijustloveharry]

he gives a lousy interview basically guilt tripping her and all her shitty friends and family members are pushing her to take the man she shared four years of her life with who fucked another woman 100% willingly back and punched her friend and humiliated her worldwide😭😭😭😭😭😭ikyfl

omg 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 promise he didn't fuck her tho

I just couldn't break them up yet I love him too much but y'all are coming for me so maybe pt 3?????????? 🤣

[ijustloveharry]

REGULAR REBOUNDS / 2.1k words / fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're breaking up with me?" I asked, eyes wide.

Carlos and I had only been together for a couple months, so this was nothing too heartbreaking, but it was definitely unexpected.

"Yeah I just don't feel like we are really clicking, you know?"

No, I don't know.

"Sure. See you around" I rolled my eyes, exiting his car. Who takes a girl on a date and breaks up with her when dropping her off?

I pulled my phone out, scrolling to a contact that hasn't been clicked in awhile.

"Hey" he answered on the first ring

"Hey, you busy?"

"Nope. You and Carl broke up?"

"Carlos - yeah. Ugh, I'll explain more when I get there. You aren't seeing anyone?"

"Nah. Figured it was only time til this ended and I didn't want to leave you hanging." He mocked

"Whatever. I'll be there in 5".

I hung up and drove the couple blocks to Harry's apartment.

Harry was not boyfriend material. The first time we slept together was at a party in my first year, and he made it very clear that he did not date and that wouldn't change. Luckily, I told him I had no interest in dating him either.

Alas, a beautiful friendship was formed. A very hot, sexual friendship, but a friendship nonetheless.

I sent Harry a quick 'here' text before heading up the steps to his house.

"Hey." Harry winked as I sat down on the couch next to him.

"Hey Y/N, sorry to hear about you and Carlos." Niall smiled from the other sofa.

I shrugged, taking Harry's beer from his hand and finishing it off.

"Wasn't that serious anyway" I replied.

"At least you'll be around more" Niall smirked knowingly

"For now" I said, caving from Harry's pout and getting us each a beer from the fridge.

"Liz and Marty are gonna be over in a bit, and I think Ryder was also gonna stop by."

"Itll be nice to see them all." I smiled, handing Harry his beer.

"Yeah well, ya disappear every time you get a boyfriend"

"Conflict of interest to hang with my fuckbuddy and his friends when I start seeing someone. I'd love to stay friends, but I think Harry gets custody of you guys whenever we have to separate."

Niall laughed, feeling his pockets. "Ah, fuck. I'll be back."

He left the room, leaving Harry and I alone in the living room.

"Hi-" I was interrupted by Harry pressing his lips to mine, hand snaking onto my waist.

My eyes fluttered shut as he deepens the kiss, taking my beer bottle and placing it to the side. His hand found my bum and he pulled me into his lap, hands reaching into my hair.

"Whoa, get a room. I was gone for two bloody minutes!" Niall laughed, waving a joint.

I turned from straddling Harry's lap to sitting with my legs draped across, accepting the joint from Niall.

"Thought you didn't smoke?" Harry raised his eyebrows

"Carlos got me into it, surprisingly." I smiled, holding it out for him.

Harry leaned in, taking a hit from my fingers instead of grabbing it himself.

"I'll have to thank him for showing you how to have a little fun"

"Thank him for wasting my time" I mumbled, taking another hit before passing it back to Niall.

"Is that Y/N?"

Ryder's voice could be heard from the living room.

"Hey Ry" I smiled, standing to give him a hug "how have you been?"

"Not bad. I'm happy you're back with Harry! I've missed you."

"We're not together" Harry clarified, pulling me back down onto his lap. "Just fucking"

"Oh whatever. It's quite confusing from an outside view, yeah?"

"Marty and Liz are coming too, grab a beer and siddown bud" Niall said, pulling Ryder onto the couch next to him

"What about Carter?" I asked, noticing someone was missing

"He moved to LA" Harry mumbled "that's why Niall and I are roomies now"

"Whoa. Ive missed a lot." I laughed "Harry will have to fill me in later"

"We will be very busy later" Harry whispered, nipping at my ear

"Oi! I know you lot have been apart for however long but I don't need to keep seeing it" Niall said

"Sorry mate, but if you don't stay elsewhere tonight you're gonna have to hear it too"

"Harry!" I slapped his arm, chuckling at his warning

"You can stay with me" Ryder offered, feigning disgust

"We were gonna go to that karaoke pub off campus later if you wanna come with." Harry said, rubbing my leg

"Sure." I smiled, finishing the last of my beer. "What time were you guys thinking?"

"Whenever Marty gets here, I guess" Niall answered, passing the joint around again

"What's that?" Marty asked, poking his head in the room "I heard my name"

"Y/N!" Liz said, rushing over to give me a hug. "It's been forever"

"Yeah sorry I haven't been around much"

"Are you coming out with us?" Marty asked, hanging his coat

"She is, and we are leaving right now so you should probably put that back on" Harry said, standing to give Liz a hug.

"We have so much catching up to do" Liz said, taking my hand and leading me to walk with her.

"Ask away" I laughed, Liz and I leading the way to the bar.

"What happened with Carlos?"

"He took me on a super romantic date and then told me we 'didn't click' while dropping me off"

"Ouch"

"I mean yeah, getting dumped doesn't feel great" I shrugged "but we weren't together for that long."

"3 months is a decent amount of time" Liz reasoned "it's okay to be bummed"

I shrugged, not sure what to respond.

"Maybe now you and Harry can declare your love for one another" Liz wiggled her eyebrows and lit up a joint

I rolled my eyes, grabbing the joint from her hand "No"

"I didn't know you smoked"

"I'm a changed girl" I grinned

"Changed enough to commit to Harry?"

"Shut up" I laughed, nudging her off the sidewalk "We're just friends"

"Friends who have super passionate sex"

"What makes you qualified to define our sex as passionate?" I raised my eyebrows

Liz shrugs "lucky guess"

"What about you and Marty?"

"What about us?"

"I dunno. How are things?" I asked

"Complicated." Liz answered honestly

"Good complicated or bad complicated?"

"Complicated complicated"

I rolled my eyes and glanced back at the boys, seeing them yards behind us.

"I can't wait to do some shots and sing some karaoke" Liz cheered

"It's been so long since I've been" I smiled, seeing the bar up ahead

"Oh I guess hey? Well, if you're lucky I'll sing a duet with you"

"How romantic"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Two shots of tequila please" I ordered, grinning at Harry

"Ugh, tequila is disgusting"

"I drink to get wasted, not to enjoy the taste" I rolled my eyes, downing both shots

"Hey!"

"You complained, so you didn't get one" I shrugged, walking away from the bar and leaving him to pay

"Y/N! You should sing" Niall called from a little further ahead

"Im definitely not drunk enough yet" I laughed, pointing at the stage "You should go up there"

"Tell ya what, let's go do some shots and sing something together"

"Done deal" I grinned, heading back in the direction I came

"I'll never be able to convince Harry to sing, so at least someone wants to do it with me"

"Actually, he went up a couple weeks ago" Niall said, ordering a round of shots

I raised my eyebrows, glancing around for his curly hair

"Here you go" Niall handed me 3 shot glasses

"Cheers" I squinted, examining the clear liquid

"It's revolting. Get it over with as fast as possible"

I shot back all three, gagging on the last one.

"There you are" Harry said, finding his way to us "You owe me $14"

"You owe me an explanation" I replied, crossing my arms

"I'm gonna go pick a song" I gave Niall a thumbs up as he walked back to the stage

"What's up?" Harry asked, hand finding my waist

"I hear you sung some karaoke when I wasn't even here" I fake pouted "I think this hurts even more than my breakup 3 hours ago"

"Sorry about the breakup" Harry winced "and the karaoke was a huge mistake and never going to happen again"

"Nuh-uh. I can't believe you'd finally do it when I wasn't here!"

"I was trying to impress a girl" Harry mumbled "and it didn't even work. Please drop it"

I raised my eyebrows "So you're not trying to impress me?"

"I don't need to impress you, I can be myself around you. Plus, you'll sleep with me regardless"

"Why do you have to be an asshole when you're being endearing?"

"Just being myself" He grinned, slapping my ass as I left to go sing karaoke

*****

"You were really hot up on stage" Harry mumbled holding my hand as we walked back to his and Niall's house.

"Thanks" I laughed, lighting the joint Niall handed me on our way out of the bar

"I cant believe your BOYFRIEND convinced you to get stoned and I couldn't" Harry pouted, puffing the joint

"Ex-boyfriend, and I couldn't get you to do karaoke so I think we're even." I giggled.

The shots we took post-karaoke were still very much affecting Harry and I both, easily noticed by the way we were zigzagging around the sidewalk.

"Can you believe I let the girl PICK the song and she still didn't leave with me" Harry grumbled "fuckin tease"

"I'd never do that to you" I pouted, stopping to steady myself on his arm. "I feel a little silly"

"You are silly" Harry chuckled, "come on."

Harry squatted down so I could hop on his back

"Weeeee!"

"Oi! Stop kicking your legs or you're gonna knock us both over"

"Sorry" I giggled, holding the joint to his mouth

"So you wanna talk about Carlos?"

"What about him?"

"Are you actually okay? I know that rebounding is kind of our thing, but it happened today so it's okay if you just wanna talk about it"

I hiccuped, trying really hard to focus on his words. Harry must be much less drunk than me to coherently say all those words.

"We were together for like one second and we didn't even sleep together" I confessed, likely due to the liquor

"What?" Harry stopped, turning his head to look at me. "No wonder he broke up with you. How come?"

I shrugged, taking a puff of the joint "might be the liquor talking, but it's never as good as it is with you"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I was honestly pretty relieved when he broke up with me. I wasn't expecting it, and I didn't plan to break up with him, but I dunno. I was excited when I realized that meant I got to call you and finally get laid"

"Can I tell you a secret? And this might also be the liquor talking."

"Wha?"

"I called the last girl I hooked up with Y/N. While I was cumming. Yikes"

"Whoa, what?" I said, blaming the butterflies on the alcohol

"Yeah, I was even hanging out with her for awhile and thought it might go somewhere. Then when we finally slept together, I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole time"

Harry stopped, letting go of my legs so they hit the ground. I moaned in protest, leaning on his arm

"I think I'm too drunk to have sex" Harry mumbled

"That's too bad, I was really banking on you doing most of the work"

Harry laughed, finishing off the joint and tossing it in a nearby garbage

"I hate to be like, needy, but can we just go lay in bed and cuddle?" Harry asked sheepishly

"Yes please. This weed is making me extra relaxed"

The rest of the walk to Harry's was short and uneventful. He offered me his jacket and then hung it up when we got inside.

"Hey Y/N?"

"Hm?" I asked, cuddling into him further. The feeling of his body heat and the duvet were consuming in my current state.

"Don't go away this time, yeah?"

"I'm not going anywhere, H. This bed is so comfortable"

"No" he chuckled, pressing a kiss to my forehead "let's just see where this can go"

I sat up, eyeing him curiously

"Harry Edward Styles, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?*

"I hate labels, and I definitely wouldn't want to ask you when I'm this drunk. But you're one of my favourite people, yeah? So... Just stick around for a bit"

"Plus - the killer sex" I mumbled, nuzzling back into his chest

"Plus the killer sex" Harry agreed

[ijustloveharry]

possess me... please / 3k wrds / smut

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N loved making Harry jealous.

Because when he was possessive, ugh, she just submitted in a way she couldn't usually.

"Hey baby" He smiled, leaning to press a kiss on her lips. "Thanks for doing the dishes"

"Of course."

She spent most of her time at his apartment these days. She had her own, but it was mostly forgotten and she went there every so often to get a few things. She even did most of her laundry here. She wondered if he would ask her to move in soon.

They were getting pretty serious, she thought, and she didn't really know how to bring this up to him.

The first time she really noticed it, they were at a party at a friend of a friend of Y/N's.

Y/N's ex boyfriend was there, unbeknownst to her, and told Harry all about his 'ex that couldn't compare' and shared maybe more than he should have about their sex life. Harry listened, but he didn't care too much. He just wanted to hang out with Y/N and she was off playing beer pong with one of her friends (which she won, for the record.)

Both men were shocked, to say the least, when Y/N walked up and their eyes lit up in the same way.

Their breakup wasn't messy, it just wasn't getting serious for Y/N and it was for him, so she broke it off.

It didn't take long for Harry to click that Y/N was the girl her ex had been bragging about all night.

Harry fucked her hard that night. He fucked her really, really hard, and he wasted no time proving to her why she was with him.

"Babe?"

Harry jolted her from the memory, her hands lazily soaking in the dishwater. The dishes were long forgotten as her mouth watered and her core tightened.

"Hm?" She looked over to him

"What do you want to do tonight?"

Fuck. She thought, but she didn't need to say that yet.

"Do you wanna go out? We could get a couple drinks, maybe dance a bit. I dunno." She shrugged

Harry raised his eyebrow. Y/N wasn't usually one to go out, but he didn't want to pass up the opportunity to see her in a low cut dress.

"Yeah - sure. That sounds good."

Y/N smirked to herself. She had ulterior motives, but he didn't need to know what.

She dressed up well - just enough Harry wouldn't tell her to change, but almost.

It was short. Low cut - he didn't really care who saw. But her long legs drove him absolutely crazy and he knew any guy wouldn't pass up the opportunity to look at her ass basically on display. He decided not to care and to just enjoy the view for himself. It was all for him, at least.

Y/N picked a trendy bar. A hookup bar. But Harry figured it was just foreplay. They would dance and flirt and maybe even fuck in the bathroom. He wasn't gonna say no.

Harry was wrong. Y/N chatted up every guy in that bar except him. Y/N basically ignored him all night and then, when he asked her if she wanted to go, she said she was having too much fun and he could go if he wanted.

Now that drove him crazy.

He didn't go home. Of course he couldn't - not with her dressed like that. So he waited. He sat in a booth and he watched her flirt with guys all night. He became increasingly more infuriated by the moment. What the fuck did she think she was doing?

Harry's last straw - she was talking to someone by the bar. Her hand kept grazing this guys arm and while it was seemly innocent, it drove him fucking nuts. He wanted to be patient and cool and let her have fun, but she hadn't said one word to him all night and he figured she couldn't care less if he was even there. It needed to stop now.

"Y/N" Harry said sternly, interrupting the worst conversation she had had in awhile. She didn't let Harry know that, though.

"Harry! Hi! I forgot you were here."

He stiffened.

"This is Sam"

"Hey" Sam was clearly uncomfortable. He was not in on Y/N's tricks.

"Sam was just telling me about the new car he bought! He wanted to show me the heated seats."

"I bet he did." Harry's jaw clenched, and Y/N could feel the pooling in her underwear. "But I think it's time to go home now."

"Aw." Y/N pouted "You aren't having fun?"

Sam had snuck away. He didn't know she had a boyfriend. She didn't tell him on purpose.

"Not really, no."

"Shame." She smirked "Most fun I've had in awhile."

Harry knew what she was doing. If it didn't click before, it sure did now. She was doing this on purpose, and he was fucking furious.

"Time to go." He repeated "Not asking."

"Hmph." Y/N pouted, tracing a finger down his chest "Are you sure you don't want to meet more of my new friends?"

She wanted to see how far she could push him. She wanted to make him mad, really mad. But this was new territory. She didn't know where the line was.

"Yep. I'm sure." He placed a hand on her back firmly, and leaned into her ear "Time to go, Y/N."

She shuddered at his tone, and nodded softly. She didn't trust herself to speak.

The cab home was silent. Harry was contemplating whether or not to fuck her or make her sleep on the couch.

"You don't think I look good?" She asked when they got back to his apartment, turning to show off her ass. "Everyone said this dress is really flattering."

Harry stayed silent, watching her intently as she pushed buttons he didn't even know he had.

What was her goal here?

Y/N smiled to herself. She knew her goal. She was almost there.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go back? I got a few guys numbers - Jake, I think, and Tony. They seemed nice. I bet they're still up if you wanna go to bed.."

"I don't want to know their names, jesus Y/N."

Y/N's mouth clamped shut. She had one more trick up her sleeve.

"Well, that doesn't seem very nice. They were all very friendly to me."

"I bet they were." He growled. He hadn't moved from his spot since they got back.

"Oh! I even got a picture with one. Wanna see?"

No, he absolutely did not. She showed him anyway.

"Look - this is Justin. Isn't he cute? Just moved here, I think. Unless that was Peter. I dunno, every guy I've talked to the last few hours have just kinda just blended together. Even you!" She giggled

The photo was too far, she later learned, but it set off a fire in Harry that Y/N hadn't expected.

The guy was too close to her. His arm was too low around her waist. His eyes were clearly looking down her chest, and Y/N looked far too interested in him for Harry's liking.

Harry moved quickly, getting close and grabbing the hair at the back of her neck.

"Excuse me?" He fumed "What was that?"

Y/N wasn't scared. She knew Harry wouldn't hurt her. She trusted him. She wanted this.

She giggled, and titled her head almost mockingly.

"I think maybe you're not so special after all. There's lots of guys out there, nice guys, with big hands just like yours."

That would have really upset Harry if he hadn't realized she was doing this on purpose. She was trying to get a rise out of him and it was working. She was too proud of herself for his liking.

"I'm only going to ask you once to get in the fucking bedroom and you better take that dress off and burn it." He spat. He wasn't going to let her win. He would show her.

"Of course." She cooed.

She didn't listen. She was still wearing the dress when her came in.

Harry made her watch as her took a pair of scissors and cut it off of her, and then cut it into pieces. He told her it clearly made her a bad girl and it needed to go away forever.

Y/N didn't think she could melt further into the bed.

"What the fuck do you think you've been doing?" He asked her, tossing the scissors aside. "What's the goal here, hm?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" She giggled, tilting her head. "What's got you so riled up?"

Harry grabbed her cheeks with one hand and her throat with the other, looking her dead in the eye.

"You won't remember any of their names when I'm done with you." He threatened. He squeezed her neck harder and watched as her body softened into the sheets.

"Yes daddy." She mustered out. Harry released her throat but kept his grip on her face. She loved when he did that.

"You've been a very, very bad girl." He said coldly, removing the belt from his pants. "So bad I don't even know what the fuck I'm gonna do with you."

"Whatever you want, I probably deserve it."

He flipped her over onto her stomach, the motion was swift and almost knocked the wind out of her. But he was still being too gentle, she wanted him to-

SMACK.

Pain and pleasure oozed through Y/N as she felt a familiar sting on her ass.

"Do you know how many guys probably thought they had a chance with you?"

SMACK.

"They wouldn't even know what to do with you." He laughed. It was patronizing, and Y/N fucking loved it. She wanted more.

"Mmmm you just said you didn't know either."

SMACK SMACK SMACK.

Y/N groaned at the impact, all the sensations pooling at her core. Her clit was throbbing - she didn't think she ever wanted him more.

SMACK SMACK.

"I know exactly what to do with you darling." He teased, leaning to whisper in her ear "The question is what to do first."

He quickly looped the belt around his hands, wrapping it around the front of her neck and pulling her back by her throat. Y/N was seeing stars - her ass was still stinging and she had never been so needy for him.

"You've made me really upset." His teeth were clenched. He tightened the belt around her neck. "So mad I almost dont even want to fuck you."

He released her and she collapsed forward. It took her a second to regain her composure.

"That's okay. Jeff or Peter or Darrel might-"

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK.

Harry was really giving it to her now. He wasn't holding back; she's really pissed him off and she needed to be put into her place.

Harry pulled her up by her hair, her body was twisted and it looked uncomfortable but he didn't care. He forced her to look into his eyes.

"What the fuck did you say?"

"I said-" Harry threw her back onto the bed, cutting her off before she could say anything else.

SMACK.

He tossed the belt to the floor. She watched as he removed his remaining clothing and crawled up next to her.

He grabbed her throat and watched as she squirmed. He loved this, but he hated that she knew exactly how to get him here.

He wouldn't let her win.

He released her throat just before she passed out. She was weaker now, she was relaxed. She couldn't wait for him to fill her up.

He could tell. He was going to drag it out as long as possible.

"Sit up." He demanded. She obeyed, rotating onto her knees and she sat back in front of him on the bed.

Harry got up, not quite standing, but kneeling on the mattress so he was towering over her. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and shoved his cock into her mouth, fucking her throat like he owned it.

He did own it. She will be a good girl and tell him that when he's finished.

Her eyes watered at the rough way he was shoving his dick into her throat, his hands pulling on her head so he could get deeper with each thrust.

"Think I give a fuck what you want?" He taunted "I don't care if you want every other guy in North America. You are mine, do you understand?"

Y/N could barely nod, Harry's grip on her hair so tight it was stabilizing her head in place.

He removed his cock and yanked on her hair. She groaned from the tugging and he almost lifted her right off the mattress. She gasped and he forced her onto all fours.

Without warning, she shoved two fingers inside her from behind. She cried out, and Harry smirked as he found her sweet spot. He thrusted his fingers in and out until her legs were shaking.

"You better not fucking cum" He spat

She was close, and hearing his tone only drove her crazier.

"I'm close" She mustered out, she moved her hips to maintain speed.

"What did I say?" Harry smacked her ass with his palm, removing his fingers and grabbing the back of her neck. He pulled her up so she was kneeling up with her back pressed against his front.

Harry's hand snaked around to grip the front of her throat, squeezing her into him.

"You're so filthy I almost dont want to put my dick in you." He groaned "Do you know how many guys you were all over tonight? You think any of them could fuck you the way I could?"

Y/N knew it was time, so she shook her head no. Harry kept his grip on her throat and used his other hand to palm at her chest. He flicked her nipples until she was squirming beneath him.

He reached his hand down her front, beginning to toy at her clit so slowly Y/N thought she might burst. He flicked her most sensitive spot until she was whimpering for him.

"Beg for it." Harry let go of her throat and she fell to the mattress. She rolled to her back and looked up at him.

"Please fuck me" She begged "I need your cock so bad, daddy."

Harry spit on her, and she reached for his biceps, scratching down them the way she knows he likes.

"Please please please" She was desperate now. "I've been empty without you all night."

"Yeah?" Harry asked. His eyes were blown wide and he couldn't see anything other than that stupid fucking photo.

He grabbed her neck, leaning down to speak lower to her.

"Seemed like you were drowning in cock all night."

Y/N shook her head, she was his baby now. She didn't want anyone else. Only him.

"No daddy - I'm only yours. None of them know how to treat your baby right."

Harry's cock twitched, and he could only restrain himself so far. He wasn't done with her. Not yet, at least.

He got up and headed to the bathroom, second drawer; just where they left it.

He turned the vibrator on and returned, immediately pressing it to her clit without warning.

"What was that? I'm not sure I felt you really meant it." He pressed the vibrator to her clit harder, and she moaned from the intense pleasure.

"I'm all yours daddy. All yours" She could barely breathe. She wasn't going to last long.

"One more time." He pressed two fingers into her, rubbing the vibrator against her aggressively. She was going to cum, it was happening.

She cried out as she came on his fingers. He watched her every second - watched how her body moved and her eyes rolled back. She was the hottest thing he had ever laid his eyes on. She was all his.

She cried for him when she finished, hearing her plea his name only drove him more crazy. He turned the vibrator off and immediately shoved himself inside her.

She was sensitive from the orgasm, but he didn't care. She was his and he was going to fill her up to prove that to her.

She didn't waste any time wrapping her legs around his waist, giving him access to thrust deeper and harder. He grunted as he got closer; incoherent mutterings of "daddy's girl" "all mine" "I'll show you why".

Y/N thought she was going to cum just from watching his face.

His eyes squinted shut as he got close, focused on maintaining the rhythm that would send him over the edge.

Y/N took the opportunity to nip at his ear. She pressed kisses down his neck. She wanted to please him. She wanted him to have all of her.

Harry's orgasm found him quick. He filled her up with his cum and he didn't stop thrusting until he was finished with her.

Y/N could tell she was going to be sore. Her ass hurt from where it was pressed to the sheets but neither of them could care about that right now.

Harry backed away and watched as she pushed his semen out from inside her. He moaned at the sight of his ejaculate oozing out of her cunt.

He couldn't help it; he quickly pressed his lips to her clit, sucking on it aggressively.

Y/N immediately moaned, her neck falling back into the pillow as her eyes clamped shut. Harry wasted no time licking her clean and flicking his tongue against her. It wasn't long before she came again, her juices saturating his face as he let her ride the whole thing out.

Y/N was satisfied. Y/N knew Harry would give her what she wanted.

"Thank you Daddy." She said when they were finally finished. Harry tossed the vibrator onto the floor and rolled over to cuddle against her.

"You're welcome." He boasted, pressing a quick kiss to her neck. "Someone had to put you in your place."

Y/N blushed, their actions from the evening catching up with her. Harry loved when she got shy after sex. Harry loved her so much.

"I did it on purpose." She whispered, rolling to look at him "I don't want anyone else."

"I know." He said "You fucking better have, or I'd kill them all."

Y/N turned back to face the edge of the bed, her smile was wide and she bit her lip to stop it from getting any bigger.

"I didn't think you had it in you." He finally said, running his fingers through her hair. "I'm proud of you. You know Daddy so well."

Y/N melted at that, and she could feel the heat pooling inside her once again.

"Good. I'd love to do it again sometime."

And they did, many, many times.

[ijustloveharry]

DRUNKEN ANGEL / 2.3k words / fluff

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Y/N was absolutely wasted - but that was the goal. She hadn't been with anyone in awhile, not since she admitted to herself she had feelings for Harry.

Harry was her ex boyfriends best friend. She had dated Paolo for a couple of years, their friend groups combining after only a few months. He eventually cheated and Harry had been the one to tell her. The group took her side and they haven't seen Paolo since.

Harry was hesitant to cross any lines, he felt slimy enough ratting out his best college buddy. Normally he would mind his own business but Y/N was too good for Paolo and she needed to know that.

Harry was pretty drunk tonight too, but stopped drinking after Y/N ordered a round of shots for the group and took so many there was barely enough to go around for the rest. He hadn't seen her totally drunk in a long time - and tonight she was extra touchy. This further drove him to stop drinking because he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from doing something they might regret.

"Harrryyyyy" Y/N sung, wandering over to the booth he had been sitting at for the past half hour.

"Where have you been?" Y/N sighed as she sat down, placing her arm on the table. "I've missed you"

Harry smiled at his drunken friend. He had been watching her the whole time - dancing with their friends and heading to the bar for another round of shots. He had a good view of the area from the booth and wanted to make sure nothing happened as she continued to intoxicate herself.

"I think I might be drunk." She grinned at him, forgetting she just asked him a question that he had yet to answer.

"I think so too." He said softly, offering her the rest of his water.

"Yuck - I thought this would be liquor"

"Don't think you need anymore of that, love."

Even in her drunken state, Y/N noticed how she was affected by the nickname.

"Am I your LOVE" She slurred, finishing the rest of the water "Cuz I'd LOVE to be"

She fell into a fit of giggles and Harry rolled his eyes, brushing off the insinuation of her comment.

"C'mon..." Y/N's hands found his waist, hands travelling up to undo a few more of the buttons on his shirt "I know you've thought about it."

"Ahem-" Harry shifted in his seat, leaving his friends hands where they are. He hoped if he didn't answer, she would move on. She didn't.

"I just wanna see your tattoos" She emphasized the ooo, tracing her fingers over the swallows on each side of his chest.

"You've seen 'em before, love." He stated simply, selfishly allowing her drunken self to run her hands on him.

"Yeah but I wanna lick em" she stuck her tongue out, and lifted it in a swift licking motion. Harry swallowed thickly.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" Y/N smiled innocently, tracing her finger further down his freshly exposed chest.

"Getting me all riled up" He swallowed, her hands toying with the buttons of his shirt.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about." Y/N pouted, and Harry internally groaned at the feeling of her hands on him. He was now really worried he would be too drunk to control himself

Her hands travelled to the band of his slacks, and it was that moment he stood up from the booth. She stood up beside him with a confused look on her face.

"Maybe we should get you home." He breathed out, against his drunken judgement, and steadied her as a large group swept by behind her.

Y/N stumbled, falling into Harry's chest. A giggle escaped her lips as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"So you're saying you want to go home with me?" Her hands found the hem of his shirt and she took the opportunity to let her hands roam up his back, hugging him close as her hands pressed against his skin.

Harry coughed and grabbed her arms firmly, lowering to be at exact eye level.

"Can you tell me what's happening right now?"

Y/N pouted again as she sunk into his grasp. The feeling of his hands on her arms sent a fire through her she hadn't felt in months.

"Um, no."

"Exactly, time to head home."

Harry grabbed her hand softly and led her to the doors of the bar, flagging down a cab for the pair.

Before he could get a word in, Y/N gave Harry's address to the driver and gave him a knowing grin.

He tried not to make a mental note of the fact that she still knew his address by heart, even completely obliterated.

Her fingers traced his thigh next to her, at first it was innocent. She drew a heart and a penis and spelled "Harry sucks" with her finger. Harry leaned back against the seat, trying to steady the alcohol fog swelling in his brain.

Before he knew it, Y/N's hands travelled further up his thigh, and she barely grazed him, but started to caress the bulge in his pants. Harry's hand shot down to stop hers and she giggled, using her free hand to cover her mouth.

"Whoopsie" She smiled, shrugging as she glanced out the window.

"Harry's House!" She cheered, as if she hadn't just given the driver the directions to get there a mere 5 minutes ago.

"Thanks mate." Harry smiled, handing cash to the driver.

"Have fun" The driver winked, heading out after the pair were safely on the sidewalk outside his building.

"C'mon, Y/N" Harry said softly as he led the drunken girl into the lobby.

Y/N was close to him in the elevator, partly because it just felt so good, but also because she was realizing her level of intoxication as she struggled to stand in one spot.

"Weeeeeee" She sung the entire ride to the 6th floor. Harry couldn't help but smile widely at her.

"Drink this, please." Harry said once they got into his apartment. She was seated on the bar stool and he placed a glass of water in front of her.

"Yes daddy." She barely spoke, but Harry froze. His eyes went dark and Y/N noticed.

"Mmm you like when I call you that?" Her eyes fluttered as she sipped the water slowly. Her tongue came out and she licked the side of the glass.

Harry cleared his throat, adjusting his pants and excusing himself to change.

He splashed cold water on his face and grabbed an extra tshirt and shorts for Y/N to change into.

"All done." She boasted when he was back, holding the empty glass in her hand "Now what's my reward?"

"Change of clothes and a good night's sleep." Harry stated, avoiding looking at her. His willpower was fading and that stupid baby voice she's making is driving him crazy.

"Hmph" Y/N mumbled and took the fabric from his hands. "Think I'll need some help."

"I think you got this." Harry encouraged, refilling her cup of water.

She shook her head, swaying as she stood.

"I think I'll get stuck."

Harry raised his eyebrows at her and sighed. She could barely walk as she turned toward the bathroom.

"Okay, okay." He caved, steadying her as she held the wall for dear life.

She slid down to the floor and waved her arms up at him.

"Carry me daddy pleaaseee" She pouted.

"You gotta stop calling me that, Y/N." Harry pleaded, scooping her small frame from the floor below him.

"But I can tell you like it." She whispered in his ear

Harry didn't disagree, but chose to remain silent as he placed her sitting at the foot of his bed.

"Y'know I think it's okay if we kissed a little cuz I don't think I'll remember much." Y/N hiccupped, raising her arms so he could help remove her shirt. She started to unclasp her bra and Harry cleared his throat, turning to look away from her vulnerable state.

She got Harry's shirt over her head, and gave him the okay to turn around.

To her persistence, he helped peel the jeans off her legs and he placed them with her other clothes on the floor.

Y/N looked at him silently, suddenly realizing her efforts haven't been reciprocated. She sulked as she realized he really doesn't want her.

Tears began to fall from her eyes and Harry noticed immediately, kneeling in front of her and brushing the tears from under her eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, looking at her properly for what feels like the first time tonight.

"Why don't you want me?" She barely spoke as more tears spilled silently down her cheeks. "What can I do to make you want me?"

"Jesus Y/N" Harry stood up, running his hands through his hair. "You're very drunk."

"Exactly." She huffed, wiping her eyes with Harry's shirt "It should be easy to want me"

Harry laughed softly at her statement, and sat on the bed beside her.

"I want you so bad it hurts - but not like this. Okay? Not when I know you won't remember it"

Y/N fell silent at his words. Who was he to tell her what she wanted?

"I'll remember" She whispered, looking up at him with doey eyes. She was irresistible, and his stomach fluttered at the look of her in his clothes.

Before he knew it, she was pressing her lips to his. He groaned - immediately kissing her back and fisting her hair in his hands. His head was swimming with her warmth and the alcohol and the half hard-on he had been sporting since she first touched his skin at the bar.

"Y/N" He stopped, his forehead pressed to hers.

She whimpered, and Harry thought he was going to lose it right then. He considered letting her win and taking her the way he'd always dreamt of. He thought about ripping her shirt off and running his hands over her and making her scream his name so loud all the neighbours heard. But he knew he couldn't.

"Okay." She agreed, climbing back into the bed and under the covers.

"Will you sleep with me?" She asked softly, and Harry had to resist or he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

"I can't, baby"

She sighed, and looked up at him pleadingly.

"Promise you'll tell me you love me tomorrow?" She said quietly - so quiet Harry almost didn't hear her.

His heart leaped and he walked up to the side of the bed and sat beside her. More serious than he had ever been in his life.

"Yeah, yeah. I can do that." He licked his lips, telling himself it's better to wait. Not like this. You like her way too much.

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, and she hummed as she fell asleep quickly. Harry let out a shaky sigh and sat with her for another moment, really taking in the last 45 minutes.

His anxiety turned to excitement, knowing Y/N wanted him too - even if she was drunk - was enough to get him excited to wake up the next morning.

~~~

Y/N woke to the smell of coffee, her head pounding as she pulled the cover over her head. It didn't smell like home - she shot up, looking around in a panic, before she realized she was in Harry's room. She sighed in relief and glanced at the side table, 2 advil and a glass of water waiting for her.

She strolled out to the kitchen - she didn't remember much about last night but assumed Harry had to take care of her or else he would've dropped her off at home.

"Good morning" Y/N said, drawing Harry's attention to her. "Thanks for taking care of me last night, I don't really-"

Before she could finish, Harry had pressed his lips to hers softly and her eyes widened in surprise, but she relaxed into him and sighed as she melted into the kiss.

Absolutely flabbergasted, she stood with her mouth open as he walked back to the eggs cooking on the stove.

"Good morning. I think I love you." He smiled shyly, pouring them each a cup of coffee.

"Oh- I'm sorry what?"

Harry smiled as he handed her the cup.

"Yep. So, unless that's an absolute no, I'd love to fuck you on the counter after breakfast."

Y/N's mouth fell open, did she wake up in the right body?

"Did we have sex last night?" Y/N scratched her head "Cuz I don't remem-"

"No, we didn't, but you teased the fuck out of me. I was a total gentleman and said NO but I am saying YES now." Harry grinned as he lifted her to be seated on the counter, standing between her legs. "And I think I'd love it if you continued to wear my clothes and sleep in my bed."

Y/N blushed and looked away. She cursed herself for drinking so much.

"Um, so, what exactly happened?"

"That's a story for after breakfast." He smiled, moving his head to regain eye contact.

"Do you think I could kiss you again?" He asked, and Y/N blushed again, nodding slowly.

He pressed his lips to hers, sighing into her and placing a hand on her hip. She wrapped her leg around him and he smiled, swiping his tongue against hers.

"Thanks" He grinned, heading back to finish breakfast.

"I think I love you too, by the way." She blushed, toying with the hem of the t-shirt she was wearing.

"Good. Then we agree - I'll fuck you on the counter after breakfast."

"Yes" She whispered, struggling to admit what she wants.

"Yes, daddy" He corrected, pointing the spatula at her, "and I expect you to say it with more enthusiasm next time."

[ijustloveharry]

HOW COULD HE DO THIS / pt 2 / 3k words

thanks for the love xx here's part 2!

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Y/N woke the next morning alone. She wasn't sure if Harry had left or if he slept on the couch - but she had been laying in her bed for over an hour because she was too scared to find out.

What were they supposed to do now?

Even if she was willing to stay with him, how would it work?

Her heart told her to try to fix it; her brain told her to stop being stupid. Usually her gut was the deciding factor but the only thing she felt was nauseous.

Finally getting the courage, she padded out of her bedroom and into the living room.

Harry wasn't there.

Part of her was relieved, and the other part of her was disappointed.

He had left a letter on the counter, but she couldn't bring herself to read it. She pulled the ice cream tub from the freezer and plopped on the couch. She figured there wouldn't be a better day to have ice cream for breakfast.

Today she felt more rational. She felt like she could really figure out if she could ever get past this or if he really pushed her too far. They had been together for four years, and he hadn't come close to making any major mistakes until now.

Y/N did what any rational person would do the day after someone destroys you; she made a pros and cons list.

Pro: He's Harry styles

Con: He's a dirty cheater

Pro: He treats you well

Con: Until he fucking cheated

Pro: You've invested four years into this

Con: He risked FOUR YEARS by fucking cheating

That got her nowhere, obviously, and she sighed in frustration as she was left even more confused than when she started. She was clearly angry. Sure, she was hurt, but anger was the only thing surfacing right now.

She decided to go to the gym, hopefully that could help her let some of it out.

Y/N packed her gym bag and decided to head to a different gym than usual. Harry always went with her when he was in town - they got a private space, of course, but she didn't want to think about him right now.

Walking into the unfamiliar space, she glanced around and looked for an open treadmill. None. She groaned.

She decided to start with a stretch, hoping that a machine would be vacant when she was done. Y/N was about to pop her headphones in before a familiar voice called her attention.

"Hey - I know you!"

Y/N looked at the source, and saw the same man from the night before. James? Justin?

"Jesse." He said knowingly. "Y/N, right?"

"Yeah" She said, and he took a seat on the mat next to her.

"What the fuck are the chances, hey?"

Minimal, Y/N thought. She hoped he wasn't stalking her.

"Hope you're not stalking me, I workout here everyday and I've never seen you here."

That made her laugh, and it lightened her chest just enough to remind her that she might be okay. She can still laugh. She can still have fun.

"Trying something new, actually. Guess it was meant to be."

"Guess so." He grinned, mirroring her stretches. "I'm here with my friend - er, or whatever"

He indicated to one of the guys on the treadmill.

"Complicated?" Y/N asked

"Very." Jesse smiled sheepishly "He's confused."

"Him and I both." Y/N sighed

"Can I get your number? I meant to ask yesterday but we er- got a bit sidetracked."

"Sure." She said, typing the digits into his phone.

Y/N was kind of relieved to have someone to talk to. She had been ignoring her friends and it was nice to see someone who knew what was going on.

"How are you?" He asked, standing to stretch out his arms

"Been better" She laughed "Harry was outside my apartment when you dropped me off yesterday."

Jesse wasn't looking at her though, and Y/N turned her head to where he was looking.

The TV was playing some trashy gossip show, one she normally wouldn't pay attention to. This time she did. The photos of Harry were up on the screen, the current topic of discussion whether or not he was a cheater or if everyone had been wrong about him actually even having a mysterious girlfriend.

"Guess all Harry's are cheaters, huh?"

Y/N gulped and shrugged, pulling her gaze from the photos she had been trying so hard not to think about.

"Guess so." She mumbled

"What do you do?" He asked "For work, I mean."

Y/N was grateful for the change of subject.

"I'm getting a master's degree in marine biology." She explained "I go back for my last year in September. Right now I'm working as a scuba instructor."

"Oh - that's super fucking cool."

It is super fucking cool, Y/N thought, but she didn't feel the need to say that. "What about you?"

"I'm getting a business degree" He shrugged, offering no further information. "Don't know what I want to do so figured it could be the most universal."

"That's very true." Y/N agreed. She wondered how old he was.

"Do you wanna do something? I was going to do a group class at 11 but I could blow it off."

"Like what?" She asked

"I dunno. There's a cool coffee shop down the road"

"I think coffee will amp me up a bit too much, I came here to blow off some steam." She admitted "But I could just get a water or whatever."

"Well if you want to blow off steam, I have a pretty good idea.."

Y/N raised her eyebrows "Thought you were gay?"

Jesse blushed, realizing how he had sounded.

"Uh" He cleared his throat "Yeah - I meant, I know a place that you could get some anger out. Smashing things, axe throwing, that kind of stuff."

Y/N laughed at his flustered state. They could be friends, she thought.

"Yeah, let's go."

~~~~~~~~

It did help her blow off steam.

She used Harry's emergency credit card and bought out the whole showroom - $1050 to be exact. She smashed glass plates and toilet seats and everything they had into tiny pieces. She whacked the baseball bat around with everything she had and she felt so, so much better afterwards.

"Hell yeah." Jesse cheered, high-fiving her as she finished with the last items.

"That's exactly what I needed."

"Good." He smiled "Hey - isn't that Harry Styles?"

Y/N immediately froze, and Jesse noticed the change in her stature.

"Y/N" Harry said calmly. She had yet to turn around to face him

"Wait you know him?" Jesse asked, baffled. He was excited, Y/N assumed he must be a fan.

"Yes." She sighed, turning to face the man she had finally just forgotten about.

"Harry fucking Styles." Jesse said under his breath "Harry! Ohhh, damn."

She winced as the wheels turned in Jesse's head. His eyes narrowed at Harry.

"Hey - I used to really like you and all that so it totally sucks that you're a huge dick"

Harry's jaw clenched at the man beside her, and Y/N silently prayed Jesse would stop.

"Y/N is fucking great-"

"I know. I don't need you to tell me that." Harry said between his teeth.

"Well, apparently you do." Jesse retorted

"How'd you even find me here, Harry?" Y/N hoped to stop the two men from going at it.

"You used my credit card." He said simply

"Yeah - I kinda figured you owed me." She mumbled.

"Sure." He said. He didn't really know why he came here.

"Okay... Is that all, or?" Y/N was starting to get annoyed.

"I just needed to see you." He pleaded.

"Should've thought about that before you cheated in front of the whole world" Jesse muttered. Harry's eyes snapped to him

"Who the hell are you again?" He growled. Y/N stepped in front of Jesse.

"Okay - Harry, let's just go outside, yeah?"

He didn't move, though, he kept his eyes locked onto Jesse.

The two stared at each other for what felt like hours, and Y/N shifted uncomfortably between them.

"You don't have to go anywhere with him, you know." Jesse said to her, and Y/N knew he meant well but wished they would both just shut the hell up.

"Why don't you just mind your own business, mate." Harry growled, his annoyance growing my the second.

"You don't need to be so rude." Y/N snapped back. "I'm leaving now."

"Let me drive you-" Both of them said, stopping to glare at the other.

"Can you just fuck off, please?" Harry snapped at Jesse, who just glared back.

"Think you're the one who should fuck off, mate." Jesse mocked.

It was then Y/N walked away. She was supposed to be taking the edge off, and this was not helping.

"I'll find my own ride." Y/N said simply, she couldn't believe either of them thought they were helping.

"Now look what you've done." Harry rolled his eyes, and Jesse looked at him flabbergasted.

"Look what I've done? We've had a great time and you came in and ruined her whole mood." Jesse snapped "I don't even know her that well and can tell she doesn't want to see you"

Something in Harry snapped at that, and while Y/N didn't see it, she heard the impact. She turned around to see Jesse on the floor, holding the side of his face

"Let's go." He growled at her, pulling on her arm. She ripped herself from his grasp.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? No- I'm not going anywhere with you." Y/N said "You should just go."

"Y/N-"

"Just fucking go - Harry. I don't want to see you. Stop calling me, stop finding me, just fucking go." She said calmly. She didn't want to escalate anything further than it had been.

Harry sighed in defeat and left, offering an apology to Jesse before he walked away.

"I'm so sorry Jesse" Y/N cried once Harry was gone "I don't even know what the fuck just happened."

"I do." Jesse smirked "He was jealous."

He removed his hand from his face, revealing a forming bruise on his left eye.

"Oh my god" She cried harder "What the fuck"

"It's all good." Jesse shrugged "I can take it. I egged him on, I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be sorry" She mumbled, wiping her under eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.

Y/N had never been afraid of Harry. She wasn't sure she really was, she didn't think he would hurt her, but she had never seen him be violent and was shocked anyone could push him that far.

Maybe she didn't know him very well.

~~~~~~~~~~

Of course someone had recorded it.

'Harry Styles fist fight' was trending almost everywhere, and Y/N couldn't be more humiliated.

You could see her very clearly in the photos and videos. You could hear Jesse's remarks. The whole world knew now.

They had never been photographed together, ever. He was very careful, very particular, and wanted to keep her separate so it didn't make things more messy for their relationship. Paps were aggressive, fans were aggressive, and Y/N had gained over 500,000 followers on instagram that same day.

She locked herself in her room. She had countless notifications from strangers and multiple unanswered texts from her loved ones. She lost her job. Negative publicity never did good things for regular people.

The internet applauded Harry for 'defending her honour'. People assumed she had been cheating first and that Harry just snapped. Others assumed she had cheated with Jesse to get back at him. Most agreed Jesse must've deserved it. It's all people were conspiring about.

Y/N was furious. She didn't understand what was going through his head and she couldn't believe he allowed her name to get out there like this.

He didn't call her.

Granted, she told him not to. But she figured he would reach out given the circumstances.

She didn't know what to do. She had some money saved, she could be fine for a few months. This wouldn't wreck her schooling or her career. She could sell a statement if things got bad. She was lucky money wasn't her biggest concern.

Her phone buzzed on the side table and she groaned at the thought of someone else she knew asking her why she didn't tell them she was dating Harry Styles.

Can't believe there is photos of me getting my ass beat by Harry Styles

She smiled at Jesse's text.

Wasn't an ass beating, but yeah, not your best look.

Made Trevor super jealous though. Makes no sense.

Trevor = treadmill boy.

Maybe he was jealous you blew off blowing him to smash shit with some random girl.

Don't think thats it.

Y/N wasn't sure what that meant.

I think you should forgive him.

Y/N was appalled by that

Wtf why would I do that

I think he really loves you

Y/N rolled her eyes

Too much maybe.

Can never love too much.

Ok

I'm being serious. He's hurting

I don't feel bad for him

You shouldn't. But you should call him, at least see if he's ok

Did he hit your head too hard

No, maybe reading too much fanfiction tho

Y/N snorted, so he was a fan.

Was getting punched by Harry Styles on your bucket list or something?

Maybe

Weirdo

I just think he's desperate and desperate people have really stupid ideas

I'm not desperate so I'm not sure I should go along with your stupid ideas

Hey!

Y/N smiled to herself

hey

Just think about it

okay, jeez

thank u.

Y/N plugged her phone in, ending the conversation there. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to think after that.

Sighing, she got up from the bed and headed to get a drink from the fridge. She paused as she saw the unopened letter on the counter. She hesitated before opening it.

Y/N

I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't know how to forgive myself so I don't know how you could move past it either.

Please meet me for lunch? Our favourite spot? Noon? We don't have to talk, we don't have to do anything. Just come if you feel you want to or there is any part of you that thinks this can be fixed.

I love you,

H.

Y/N breathed out. Clearly she didn't show up for lunch, and she tried to push down the guilt she was beginning to feel.

"No" She said to herself aloud. It wasn't her fault she didn't want to read it, and it's wasn't her fault he reacted the way he did.

She did decide to call him, though.

"Hey" He answered solemnly. She could tell he wasn't himself right now

"Hey." Y/N but her lip. She didn't know what she wanted to say. "I just read your letter."

Harry let out a breath, but didn't say anything right away.

"Oh."

"Yeah, sorry, I didn't know what it was going to say when I saw it there yesterday and just didn't really wanna read it yet. Obviously, I didn't realize."

"It's okay." He assured. "I'm really sorry about yesterday."

"Yeah." was all she said. He should be sorry.

"I don't know what came over me." He admitted

"I dunno, H, but it was fucking whack." She was biting her lip hard now. She really didn't know where she was hoping this would go.

"Yeah." He said. They sat in silence for a moment.

"It was an employee." He broke the silence "That sold the footage."

"Oh." She replied. Who cares?

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Well it did, Harry."

He sighed. "Yeah, I've been on calls all day about how I'm supposed to fix this."

"And how are you supposed to fix this." She said. It was a statement more than a question. He couldn't fix this. Her name was already out.

"I can't." He said. "Not anything I'm willing to say, I guess just let it blow over."

She was angry at that, and decided not to hide it.

"I'm so glad it'll just blow over for you, Harry, but my entire fucking life just changed and I'm not sure that it'll ever go back."

"I know." He whispered. She could tell he was crying.

"How could you do this? Did you really think that was going to make it any better?"

"I wasn't thinking at all." He admitted

"Clearly." She rolled her eyes.

"You didn't show up for lunch, I got the notification about the credit card and I just drove there. I didn't think about any of it. I just wanted to see you and try." He rambled "And then you were there with some fucking guy-"

"Some guy is named Jesse, and we're literally just friends Harry. I met him at the bar two days ago and the fact that you even found him threatening is absolutely insane. Do you think I would do that? Do you think I could? We haven't even broken up yet-" Y/N was crying now

"I didnt-"

"You didn't what, Harry? You didn't think? You hadn't thought about that? That's all you've been saying. That's not good enough. You should be thinking about me. But you've only been thinking about yourself, and that's the problem."

Harry was silent at that.

"Yeah, okay. You're right."

"I don't know what to tell you or how could you possibly fix this but I know that whatever is going through your head is absolutely not working for me." Y/N sighed "I just need space, Harry. I need space to stop being so fucking angry so I can see if I can even stomach forgiving you."

"Okay." He finally said "Okay, I'll leave you alone, Y/N, I promise."

Tears were spilling down her cheeks. Is this what she wanted?

"I'll call you Harry, when I'm ready. I promise I will." She meant that. Either way, she would tell him how she feels.

"I have to go." He gulped. "A few things I have to do for work."

"Sure." She sighed.

"I-" Harry hesitated and Y/Ns heart shattered at that.

"I love you too, Harry. But I think that's my issue right now. Loving you hurts too much."

Harry hung up the phone and rested his head in his hands. He only waited a moment before making the call he was sure he'd regret.

~~~~~~~

Y/N's new job started a little over a week later. Didn't take her long to find something that was out of public access, somewhere that wouldn't get bombarded with calls and emails asking for information about her. No one would know she's hidden away in the back.

She was working in a small aquarium, identifying fish that had been rescued and direcing them to the proper rehabilitation centers in the country. She liked it way more than scuba diving.

She had her headphones in, rummaging through a textbook as she listened to Taylor Swift. Classic breakup anthems to help her through.

Her phone buzzed, but she ignored it. She was on the clock; couldn't be that important.

But then it buzzed again. And again. and again.

She groaned and finally gave in, pulling it from her back pocket.

Jesse Hey, did you see this?

Mariana Ummm ok Harry tho?? maybe I take back the long rants from before - if you don't take him back, pls give him my number

Bethany Yo did you see that Harry interview.... sorry to bring it up if you did but didn't want you to be blindsided if not. text me back!!!

Dad why does this harry boy have your name in his mouth

Brotha do we need to beat up Harry Styles or are you believing his stuntin ass

Harry hope I didn't cross any lines x I love you

Y/N stared at the screen silently as she debated watching it. She only had 16 minutes left in her shift but she wasn't sure she could wait that long.

Sighing, she clicked the video and held her breath as it began to play.

"Harry!" The host cheered as he came out. Harry looked good, really good, and Y/N cursed his stylist for doing this to her heart.

"Hello." He smiled. Y/N was sure she couldn't be the only one who knew it wasn't genuine.

"So, what's up?" The host raised his eyebrows "Got some new music coming out?"

"Not quite." Harry fiddled with his rings. He was nervous. "A couple movies, though."

"So I've heard. Not sure they can top your latest performance, though."

The screen behind played the clip of Harry's fist hitting Jesse, and Y/N winced at the impact. She hadn't seen the video yet, and it looked much worse than it seemed at the time.

"Yeah... Not my best moment" He said sheepishly. He didn't look up at the screen.

"Wanna tell me what's going on here?" The host trailed, prying for more

"Just like the final straw in'na huge series of mistakes, i guess."

Y/N couldn't tear her eyes away from how he was playing with his hands. He was very nervous.

"Vague, okay. Can you tell me who this is" The screen zoomed in to Y/N's face, catching the exact moment she realized what had gone on. She looked scared, she looked upset. Harry had never seen her look at him like that; It made him sick.

"Biggest mistake." There was a ghost of a smile on his face "I fucked up pretty bad and I guess this was my way of trying to make it up to her. Didn't work."

"Can't imagine why." The host joked

The screen flashed to the pictures of him on the beach

"Fucked up like... this?" The host asked, and Harry turned to look this time

"Yeah. They're real, to settle the debate. I cheated, and have never regretted anything more in my life."

"Damn, can't believe I didn't even know you had a girlfriend. I've been giving your number out to loads of girls who I thought you'd pair nice with."

"Thanks" Harry deadpanned "But I only have eyes for her"

"For.. her?" The screen flashed back to the earlier photo of Y/N and her stomach knotted. She hated that people knew who she was.

"Y/N, yeah." Harry said, running his hands through his hair. "There isn't much to say about it, yeah? She was perfect and it was great and I fucked it up. I tried to fix it and I fucked it up even worse."

"Well I don't know about that." The host said, the screen flashed back to the punch. "You look like a hero to me"

Something flashed in Harry, and his nostrils flared.

"That doesn't make me a hero. That doesn't make me brave. It's bad enough I have to see my lowest point back on video, but people applauded this like it's okay?" Harry licked his lips, trying to remain his composure. "Her face in that video broke my fucking heart. It doesn't make me big or manly. It makes me a coward and I'll be lucky if she ever looks at me again. She doesn't need me to defend her. She doesn't need me at all - and now she doesn't even want me, so I'm not sure why anyone thinks that this is impressive."

Y/N was surprised at Harry's vulnerability. He always shared as little as possible and he never commented on the things people said about him.

"Wow - damn. I guess yeah." The host clearly wasn't expecting that, indicating to Y/N that Harry had went off script. She couldn't help but wonder what he was supposed to say.

"It's nobody's business, and obviously I run that risk with my work, but that has nothing to do with her." He stated plainly "My mistakes aren't her mistakes. I loved her - I'm in love with her, and I fucked it up and that's the whole story."

The host nodded in agreement, and strategically narrowed the interview towards a fight scene in his upcoming movie. Y/N stopped the video there and sat in silence for a moment.

She knew this was for her. It would have blown over for him- he said it to her himself. But he would rather his reputation tank than have her name out there as anything other than the narrative he could steer it to.

Y/N cried, then. Y/N AND HARRY was trending on twitter and she couldn't bring herself to click on it. She had gained another hundred thousand followers on instagram and she wanted to throw her phone in the fish tank and just leave the face of the earth.

But she didn't. She called Harry.

"Hi" He said softly

"Hey"

"Sorry - I hope I didn't make it worse."

"You didn't." She admitted. She wasn't going to tell him that he made it any better, though. "Can I see you?'

Harry was silent for a moment. This wasn't his motive - he wasn't trying to fix anything this time. He just needed them all to stop.

"Are you sure?" He finally asked "Cuz I wasn't trying-"

"I know you weren't. And no, I'm not sure. But I want to come over, is that okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's okay."

"Okay, I'm on my way."

[ijustloveharry]

The new angst piece was SO good. I think I’ve re-read it four times already. Do you think you’d ever write a second part for it? Would love to see what happens after!

Omg thank u 🥹

Yeah I kinda knew it needed a part two when I finished it 🙈🙈🙈🙈 I'll work on it tonight for u guys ❤️

[ijustloveharry]

HOW COULD HE DO THIS? / 3.1k words / angst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N was trying not to let it bother her.

The media makes something out of nothing all the time - and she was aware it was part of Harry's work sometimes.

But he has to have seen it.

And to not even call and check in?

She took a deep breath and ran her hands over her face. The bath water was cold now, determined to stay in until she had brushed it from her mind. Unsuccessful, she drained the tub and towels down.

Checking her phone, she curses at a missed call from Harry.

She brushed off the voice telling her to ignore him until the morning. She decided to text him instead.

Hey, sorry, I was in the bath. Miss you lots.

She decided not to outright ask about the photos spreading through the internet, telling herself these things always get blown out of proportion. They were undeniably him, sure, but they could be photoshopped. People are good these days - and she didn't want him to think she was insecure or couldn't handle being with someone as exposed as he is.

Instead of texting her back, she saw Harry's face pull up on her screen indicating a FaceTime.

"Hey" She smiled as she answered. Fake it til you make it.

"Hey" He said softly, glancing down away from the camera. Y/N's stomach dropped. Something was off.

"Did you see the pictures?" He asked simply

She let out a soft breath

"Yeah, of course I did." She sighed "They're everywhere, Harry, and everyone I know keeps asking me about it. Kinda hard to ignore, actually, they look pretty real this time."

Harry sat silently and Y/N felt an overwhelming dread to stop the conversation before it went any further.

"Y/N-"

"I don't understand how they can get away with this kind of stuff! Its so-"

"Y/N" He interrupted, firmly this time. "Please just listen"

Y/N's mouth clamped shut at his tone. She didn't like where this was going at all.

"It's not -" He ran his hands through his hair. She looked at his face on the screen - really looked, and could tell he hadn't been sleeping.

"They are real" He sighed to himself.

Y/N's entire body froze.

She wasn't expecting this. Really - she had spent so long telling herself that it happens all the time that she hadn't really considered it to be true.

How could he do this?

"What?" She said simply. She was in shock - too shocked to yell at him or cry or do any of the things her brain was screaming at her.

How could he do this to her?

"I'm so sorry." He said in defeat. The unreadable expression on Y/N's face scared him more than he could admit.

She wasn't upset, actually, she was livid. How could he do this to her? And get caught by paps, nonetheless. She had been defending him to her friends and family and she was embarrassed that she really believed they were fake.

"I didn't- I didn't think there were any pictures. I was going to tell you. I wanted to tell you right away but I wanted to do it in person. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

Hot tears were streaming down her face now. They were the kind of tears that couldn't be forgiven. Tears or rage and betrayal and mistrust. She couldn't even look at him.

"I don't want to look at you so I'm going to go"

"Y/N please." He pleaded softly "I really want to talk about this"

"I don't give a fuck what you want, Harry. I'll call you if I decide I want to talk about it." She hung up before he could get another word in, and allowed herself to really break down now that she was finally alone. When her tears subsided, she unlocked her phone and found the countless articles exposing the affair.

The photos were innocent, mostly. Harry and the young actress laughing on the beach. She stopped when she found the one she was looking for, Harry's curls seen as his lips were pressed on hers as his hands were wrapped around her waist.

Harry was gone all the time. He worked abroad constantly and she knew he had countless woman at his disposal, but he promised Y/N he only had eyes for her. He assured her she would never have anything to worry about. She broke out in sobs again as she realized just how stupid she had been for really hoping - believing that they were fake.

She didn't want to know who she was or how Harry knew her. She didn't want to see him ever again.

He was supposed to be back in LA this weekend, he was going to come to her house straight from the airport. She hoped he didn't.

She didn't want to call her friends. She didn't want to admit to anyone that she was wrong and that the photos of him all over another girl were, in fact, of him and that he was capable of doing this to her. She didn't want to be alone, either.

After crying on and off for a few more hours, she decided she needed to do something or she was just going to get worse. She had already called in the rest of the week and needed to escape her apartment before she suffocated in memories of Harry.

So Y/N got dressed up. Really dressed up. She did a full face of makeup and put on Harry's favourite bodycon dress and she walked the streets of LA until she found a bar that she could drown her sorrows in.

She settled on a small, dingey pub. The younger crowd settled on the dancefloor and the older ones by the pool table or bar - she took an empty seat and ordered herself a drink, Harry's favourite drink, and drank to forget. She ordered another when she was done and she had four shots to follow that. Four shots down the throat; four years down the drain.

The alcohol didn't help though. It just made her want to call him. She had left her phone at home because she couldn't stop looking at the photos and the hundreds of messages flooding to her asking if they had broken up. She didn't really know if they had.

"Can I?"

Y/N was snapped from her self pity by a young guy, about two inches shorter than Harry. He seemed nice. She could pretend he was him.

"Yes you may" She smiled, straightening up a bit.

"What brings you here? My friends are out there dancing but I'm not much of a clubber, I'd rather drink at home like a normal person.

She laughed at that, unsure if he was trying to insinuate something or if he really just felt that way. This wasn't right. He wasn't Harry.

"I don't drink much." She admitted, the liquor catching up to her a bit. "Think I might be drunk"

The boy raised his eyebrows, smiling at her. "Are you here by yourself?"

Y/N realized just how vulnerable she was, and it made her want to drink even more. She wanted to drink until she didn't care about any of that anymore - she didn't care what happened to her or where she ended up tonight because it didn't matter. She would still wake up tomorrow and see those pictures and everything she was feeling would come back.

Then she burst into tears, and the guy shifted uncomfortably, clearly not expecting her to get upset.

"Hey - I haven't had anything to drink. Can you let me drive you home? Are you okay?"

His concern seemed truthful to Y/N, and it's not like she wouldn't have gotten into his car (hell, his apartment) if she was single. So she nodded softly, following him out to his car. She told him her neighbourhood and he was relieved to see she wasn't too far from home.

"Sorry, I just gotta call my friends and let them know I'll be leaving. Itll be quick."

Y/N stared out the window, feeling like he didn't need a response. The dial tone rung through the bluetooth in his car.

"Jesse! Where you at man, you disappeared on us!" His friends voice could barely be heard over the music. Y/N wasn't sure she even got his name. Jesse.

"Yeah man I'm just giving a girl a ride home. She's pretty gone and seemed to there by herself, so, didn't feel good about just leaving her there."

"You're too nice man! Supposed to be a fun night out for ya"

"Being decent isn't inconvenient, but ok. I'll be back to pick you guys up soon."

"See ya man."

The call ended then, and Y/N shuddered at the sudden silence.

"I - uh, have a boyfriend" She said quietly, almost apologetically.

"Okay. Where's he at? He should know not to let someone so good out of his sight or someone else might swoop in." Jesse teased, and Y/N burst into tears again.

"Hey - sorry. I was just kidding. I promise I'm not gonna try anything. I'm uh, actually gay. So"

Jesse scratched the back of his head.

"No-" Y/N could barely make it through a sentence. So she gave herself a minute to let the sobbing stop. "He just cheated on me, actually."

"Oh." Was all he said, realizing his comment was obviously not very funny, given the circumstances. "I'm sorry."

Y/N shrugged. She was sorry too.

"I really believed he didn't."

"You guys didn't break up then? or he cheated on you and just fucking left you there? Look - I know I don't know you or anything but that's definitely not cool. Hey, what's your name again?"

Y/N smiled for the first time today, and thought before she answered.

"Y/N." She said. "And no, he's out of town. I saw some pictures."

"Ah." Jesse said "I'm Jesse, and the guy is clearly brain dead cuz you've been lovely company so far. Crying and all."

Y/N snorted at that, smiling again.

"Thanks." She said "I don't know how to forgive him"

"Why the fuck would you" He retorted, baffled at her statement

"I want to" She admitted. She was drunk and in a stranger's car and all she wanted was to see Harry. She wanted him to be waiting for her at her house and she wanted time to go back so she didn't know any of this. She just wanted the man she fell in love with.

"There are plenty of fish in the sea, Y/N." Jesse said softly.

"Not like him" She barely whispered, tears threatened to fall down her cheeks. "I don't think I'll ever want someone else."

They pulled into her block, and she pointed to the building on the side of the road.

She didn't get out of the car, though.

She saw it from when they came up the block, but now that they were close it was confirmed. Harry's car was in the parking lot.

"Are you going to be okay? Do you need to call someone?"

Y/N gulped and shook her head no.

She climbed out of the car and grabbed her purse from the floor of the front seat.

"It was nice to meet you." She said "Thank you, really."

"Not an issue." He smiled, waving her off as he drove away.

She wasn't ready to go in so she sat down on the curb. She wasn't alone for long.

"Who the fuck was that" Harry asked, and Y/N glanced up to see his tall frame hovering behind her.

"Jesse" She said simply. She didn't know who he was or what he did. "The gay man who gave me a lift home from the bar"

Harry realized then that she was drunk, and cursed himself knowing he was likely the cause.

"C'mon, let's go upstairs." He said softly, reaching to lift her from her spot seated on the ground.

"No" Y/N snapped, pulling herself from his touch. His heart shattered in his chest. It was beating so hard he could barely breathe.

"I don't want to go anywhere with you." She growled, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Please, baby, it's cold out here and I can tell youve been drinking"

Then Y/N cried, for what felt like the millionth time today. She can't even imagine how her makeup looked right now.

"I flew out right after you hung up and I couldn't buzz in and you haven't been answering my calls. Ive been worried"

"Oh now you're worried about me" She finally replied, standing from the sidewalk. "Well I - am absolutely fine. I made a new friend because I had no phone or way to get home. See? I'll be fine without you."

Harry didn't think his heart could break any further, but it did. He watched the woman he loved crumbled into pieces in front of him, and felt nothing but shame and guilt and regret. But it didn't matter how he felt, he wanted to be there for her.

"I just want to talk"

"I already said I don't want to talk to you" Y/N said, walking towards her building. "So just fuck off and find some other girl since it's clearly so fucking easy for you"

"That's not fair, Y/N"

She laughed at that- laughed at him. Was she supposed to pity him?

"Poor Harry - made a stupid choice and couldn't pay people off fast enough to fix it" She spit, staggering up the sidewalk into his face "I feel sooooo bad for you. Must be hard actually taking responsibilities for your actions"

Harry stayed silent. He knew he deserved that, so he let her continue to belittle him.

"You know what the worst part is?" Her tone changed, and Harry's eyes met hers for the first time tonight. Harry gulped.

"You think you can fix it." She said simply, and Harry's entire world came crashing down around him.

"I can, we can!" He insisted, reaching for her hands.

"It was perfect. I thought we were happy and you've ruined it and I can't see anything other than your hands on her. So no, Harry. I don't fucking think you can."

Tears were streaming down his face. He knew this could happen, he knew she might not ever look at him the same again.

"I don't want to see you anymore, Harry. I don't want to see you ever again. So get the fuck out of my way"

It was that moment she swayed a bit too much, and Harry caught her before she could fall. She burst into tears and she was suddenly so angry and sad and overwhelmed and she didn't know what to do other than cry.

"How could you do this to me" She sobbed "I loved you more than anything and you did this to me"

Harry's tears were hot as they pooled silently from his eyes. He didn't know what to say. He didn't have any excuses - he was tipsy and lonely and it had just happened. He immediately regretted it and it didn't go any further. They had just been hanging out as colleagues, and it got out of hand. She was too friendly and he was too polite to stop it before it got out of hand.

He wanted to tell her that Gisele pushed for more - told him she liked him and that it could be their secret. He wanted to tell Y/N that he told Gisele he didn't want anything to do with her and that it was the most fucked up thing he'd ever done in his life. He wanted to tell Y/N how much he loved her and that he would do anything to make it right

But he didn't, she didn't want to hear his excuses. Those were to comfort him, not her.

So he held her as she cried and hit his chest and tore him apart. He deserved to be the receiving end of her pain.

She finally stopped, and she looked up at him as he cried silently and took her insults without defense. She held onto him as if it was the last time she ever would.

"I can't trust you now and I don't know how we can be together when you leave for months."

"I won't leave" He whispered "I'll stay with you and we can buy a house and we can have a normal life. I don't have to go anywhere because there is no point if I don't have you to come home to"

Y/N wasn't sure if he really meant that or if he was just saying what she might want to hear. She didn't know if she wanted to find out.

"You know that's not true, Harry. You have work and contracts and obligations - and so do I. That's why I couldn't come with you in the first place, which was a mistake, obviously."

"I'll retire." He pleaded "We can both retire. I've got loads saved - we can travel together or move away somewhere. Anywhere you want, Y/N, please just don't give up."

Their whispers and whimpers were the only noise in the night air, and Y/N realized just how cold she really was.

"Let's go inside." She finally said, cursing at herself for giving in to him. "But that doesn't mean anything."

Yes it did. Harry thought to himself, but he just nodded in agreement with her.

When they finally got inside, Y/N said in defeat "I don't know how I can be with you when I can't even look at you."

Harry couldn't look at her either, her fragile state was tearing him apart from the inside.

She was still in the dress she had wore out, and she wanted to curl up in Harry's hoodie and watch a movie. She wanted to pretend she wasn't angry and sad and confused and just forget for a moment. She wanted to stop feeling like this.

"I dont want to talk about it anymore" she said, exhaustion catching up to her. "I'm tired, Harry."

His eyes softened as her anger dissipated into hurt. He would never forgive himself for being the cause of this.

"Okay. That's okay. Tell me what you need Y/N - please"

She believed the regret in his eyes. That made her feel even more stupid and vulnerable - but she believed him.

"I don't know" She began to cry again "I don't know how to make this feeling in my chest go away"

Harry knew exactly what she meant, so he went to her. He wrapped her in his arms and let her cry into him until she fell asleep. He carried her to bed and changed her into one of his t-shirts, tucking her into bed as his tears fell at her exhausted frame.

How could he do this to her?

[ijustloveharry]

MORE THAN FRIENDS / 1.8k words / fluff

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"Do you want to watch a movie?"

Harry cut off her thoughts with his question, his arm lazily draped behind her on the back of the couch. The small gesture would never have even crossed her mind, but lately her feelings have been... different than usual. His raised eyebrows and cheeky grin only furthered the flips in her stomach.

"Sure" Y/N gulped, sinking further into the couch as she tried to focus her attention away from the handsome boy and to the TV screen.

Harry and Y/N met in high school, never super close but had mutual friends so knew each other decently. Once everyone graduated and left town, only the two of them remained at their weekly movie nights. After months of hanging out alone, becoming friends led to blurred lines. Cuddles and sleepovers eventually turned into a friends with benefits agreement.

They had both promised to stop anything before things got serious. No sex - everything but - to avoid complications. It took them four months and three days to break this rule, and had been sleeping together for a few months since. Y/N felt she was getting in too deep and had told herself she would end it - that was three weeks ago and her feelings had only gotten stronger since.

Maybe, she convinced herself, if she just pulled back a bit they could phase out of it naturally. Maybe she didn't have to have the awkward conversation of "I think I might want more than a shag" and hope and pray he would want to remain friends after her horrible confession. Maybe she could just shove the feelings away and pretend she wasn't thinking of having his babies everytime his cock was inside her. Maybe.

"Y/N" Harry stated, once again pulling her from her thoughts.

"Hm?" She met his gaze, which was looking at her expectingly.

"What would you like to watch, love?" Harry's question was patient, though she then realized he had just asked her this as she stared silently at the blank screen.

"Whatever works" She shrugged, and he tilted his head at her response.

"Are you okay?"

Her stomach danced at his concern, more giddy than annoyed that he could read her so well.

She shrugged, not trusting herself to open her mouth in case all her feelings spilled out.

"What's up?" He placed the remote aside and brushed some hair from her face, the eye contact absolutely killing her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it. Sinking into the couch in embarrassment, she wasn't sure she was brave enough to say what she really wanted to.

Harry stared at her as she held back. He had no idea what she was thinking and that didn't happen very often. He was concerned. He really cared.

"I think-" She took a deep breath, and it was at that moment the air in the room changed. Harry straightened a bit at her serious tone.

She rolled her eyes at herself, looking away from him and playing with the strings of her distressed jeans.

"Hey" Harry said softly, placing a hand on her cheek to return her eyes to his. "You can talk to me, I promise I won't bite."

Y/N burst into tears at this, taking Harry totally off guard.

"Whoa - hey, what's up? Come here" Harry was in front of her now, pulling her into a hug.

This only made her sob further - and suddenly, she realized the severity of her feelings. This could end everything. She should have just said everything was okay.

After her crying stopped, she felt relieved that the weight on her chest was slightly lighter. She had never felt so insecure in her life and realized just how much of her feelings for him she had ignored.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it." He said. The pair were still hugging and she was thankful that she couldn't see his face when he said it.

They untangled from the hug and she looked at him, concern written all over his face.

"I do want to talk about it, but I don't know if I can."

That scared Harry, really scared him. All Y/N did was talk, but she had been particularly quiet lately. Each time they saw each other his stomach sunk more and more as he could feel her pulling away from him.

"Talking always makes me feel better, but don't force what you aren't ready to say"

He wasn't sure that was the best advice but the fear in his heart forced him to speak selfishly. He didn't know how he felt, but knew he didn't want to lose her.

"I want ice cream"

Harry chuckled, releasing a sigh he didn't realize he was holding in.

"Let's go get you some ice cream, then."

~~~~

They were mostly silent in the car, Harry's hands gripping the steering wheel for dear life.

Y/N looked out the window, she wasn't as scared as before, but was definitely embarrassed and it was almost harder to cope with that. Now he will really know how deep her feelings are when she tells him, and she bit her lip at the thought that might scare him off even further. She tapped her fingers on the top of her thigh and tried not to break down in front of him again.

Harry noticed her demeanor. He could feel it radiating off of her and he had never been so panicked in his life. He thought things were actually going good - he could have stayed in this bubble forever and he had been so sure she felt the same way.

He finally couldn't take it and pulled off onto the side of the road, putting on his hazards.

She finally looked at him, confused, and was about to ask before he cut her off.

"Please don't" He said helplessly

"Wha-"

"Just, please let me. It's okay if you aren't ready to say.. whatever you're thinking, but I think I know what I have to say."

That wasn't totally true, but he trusted that the right words would come out.

Y/N nodded slowly, eyes focused ahead as she avoided looking at him.

"I can't lose you." He paused for a moment, but Y/N waited, hoping he would tell her what she needed to hear. "I know we didn't really plan for this to be more than something casual, but I think it is. I know it is. And that's fucking scary - obviously, especially since I've shagged half of your friends. But I have never been so sure of anything in my life and I can't let you go before it even truly starts."

She looked at him, absolutely gobsmacked, but he continued before she could say anything.

"You are so smart, and funny, and you care about people even more than my mum and I didn't think that was physically fucking possible. I'm disappointed every morning I wake up without you there and I'm sorry I've been too chicken shit to say that but you make me really fucking happy and I didn't want to push you or make things worse or shatter whatever it was that we have been doing."

He gulped, wiping his hands onto his sweatpants.

"I can tell you've been distant, or upset, I guess, and maybe it isn't even about me and I'm just pent up for no reason but I have literally never felt like this in my life and I have no idea how to handle it or how I was supposed to tell you but please, please don't end it because I really think I want to be with you forever and I can't let you go without saying that."

The mix of emotions in Y/N was so overwhelming that she didn't know how to react.

So she laughed, she laughed and she could not stop and she grabbed onto his bicep to hopefully reassure she wasn't laughing at his words.

"I think I'm in love with you, Harry." She admitted, absolutely feeling safe to do so now. "I don't want to leave - I've been scared shitless that if I told you I would lose you."

Harry laughed now, too, realizing his fear was rooted in the same place as hers.

Then he cried. This took her by surprise, and she unbuckled her seatbelt to get closer - to fully comfort him.

"I love you too and I really thought you were going to go away"

"No - I'm sorry, Harry. I should've told you sooner instead of letting it fester and stressing us both out even more."

"I should've told you too" He admitted when his tears stopped.

She smiled and looked into his eyes, and she didn't hesitate before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. It felt different - not that it was bad before, honestly - but their confessions solidified them in a way they were unprepared for.

Harry deepened this kiss, wrapping his palm around her thigh and tugging her fully into his lap. He pulled the seat back so the steering wheel wasn't pressed into her, and the pair made out until they both began to laugh again.

She couldn't believe how ridiculous she felt and she placed her head into his neck as their laughs turned to giggles.

"I think I want to marry you one day. Soon, hopefully." Harry said quietly.

Y/N's heart soared at that as she shot up, looking him dead in the face.

"Really?" She couldn't hold back her grin as she realized he was just as serious as she was, and took comfort in the fact that he had been holding back in the same way. Suddenly she felt less alone - knowing he was struggling with the thought of losing her as much as she was of him.

"How could I not?" He smiled back, his hand running through her hair. "You're perfect"

"I don't know about that." She blushed, looking down between them.

"I do" He whispered, tilting her head so their eyes could meet again. He placed a quick kiss to her lips and she gave him another hug, fully sinking into him as the exhaustion from her emotions started to catch up with her.

"Still want some ice cream?" He asked, kissing the side of her head.

She shook her head no, squeezing her arms around his waist a little tighter. She just wanted him, all of him. For as long as he'd have her.

"Let's head back then." He swore his smile would be on his face for the rest of his life.

Y/N purred and pulled away, climbing back to her spot in the passenger seat beside him.

"Guess this means I gotta stop seeing other guys." Y/N teased, pulling her seatbelt back on and holding his hand between them.

"Ha ha." He deadpanned, pulling around and back towards her place.

She glanced at her phone to check the date - Nov 10. The start of their forever. She smiled to herself as they rode back in silence. A much better silence than before. Content - things were definitely as they should be.