、☆

she|her i write sometimes #fangirl english is NOT my first language

[ikigaidao]

Pt. 9, Pt. 10

summary: You owe him. For what?– let’s just just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

content warning: mdni, strong language, smoking, violence, mentions of wounds and blood

word count: 2 853

,,Seongje!” You desperately pulled at the door handle again.

,,Unlock the door.”

He didn’t even look at you,

,,No.”

,,Im serious, Seongje.”

,,So am I.”

You fold your arms, glaring at him, pure disbelief plastered across your face.

,,You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

A dry laugh escapes him.

,,Funny. You didn’t have a problem listening to Baekjin.”

That hits a nerve.

,,At least he didn’t replace me without saying a word.”

He finally turns to look at you,

,,Is that what you think this is about?”

His cheeks were flushed, his breathing still uneven. His jaw was locked so tightly you thought his teeth might crack.

,,Isn’t it?” Your tone was petty, dry.

He studies you for a long second, then, he lets out a short humourless chuckle.

,,You’re unbelievable.”

,,And you’re an asshole.”

Another beat of silence passes.

The car was humid from the rain.

Water drummed steadily against the roof, the sound filling the silence between your uneven breaths.

His hand suddenly tightens around the steering wheel.

He stared through the windshield for a few long seconds before finally speaking.

,,You saw me with her.”

You don’t answer.

That was answer enough.

A tiny smirk appears on his face– not because he is mocking you, but because he finally understands why you’ve been acting the way you were.

,,You’re jealous.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

Then, you immediately snapped back,

,,Don’t flatter yourself.”

,,Then why are you angry?” He pushes.

You look out the window.

,,Drive.” You let out an annoyed sigh hoping he just listens to you for once.

,,Answer me.”

Of course.

,,Drive.”

He didn’t.

His fingers tapped against the steering wheel once. Twice. 

,,Look at me.”

You scoffed, keeping your eyes on the rain streaking down the window. It was starting to pour again.

,,No.”

,,Y/N.” He just couldn’t let this go.

,,What?”

,,Look at me.”

You finally turned your head.

His expression had changed. The anger was still there, but now it looked… tired.

,,You scared the shit out of me tonight.”

The words hung in the air.

You frowned.

,,You don’t get to say that, Seongje.”

,,Why not?” He was scanning your face for answers.

,,Because you spend the last days pretending I didn’t exist.”

Silence.

,,Of course…” that earned an annoyed huff from you. The silence. 

,,I was trying to keep you out of it.”

,,By replacing me?”

,,Yes.”

,,With her?”

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

,,You really think that’s what this is about?”

He leaned back in his seat, letting out a slow breath.

,,You’re impossible.”

,,Im impossible?” 

,,You walk into Baekjin’s office, take a job you know nothing about, almost get yourself killed…”

His laugh was short, humourless.

,,Then you look at me like I’m the asshole.”

You roll your eyes,

,,You are the asshole.”

He just looks at you.

A long beat passes again.

Then, despite himself, the corner of his mouth twitches.

,,Yeah.”

You were exhausted.

After everything that had happened tonight you just wanted to get home.

,,Can you just…go?”

You look into his eyes, your voice barely above a whisper.

,,Please.”

He didn’t answer.

He simply started the engine and pulled away from the curb before the police noticed his car parked down the street.

Sirens still echoed throughout the night, slowly fading as the club disappeared in the rearview mirror.

The drive felt like hours.

You started noticing the path is different than if you were being taken back home.

,,Seongje, where are we going?”

You immediately turned to look at him, visibly confused.

,,To my place.”

,,What? Why?” Your tone was almost whiny, you needed to sleep.

,,You’re not gonna be on your own tonight. End of story.”

Oh.

You were too tired to fight it. At this point you just wanted to lay down in bed and drift off.

Your vision was getting blurry and you could swear you would’ve fallen asleep if the car didn’t stop so abruptly.

You were in front of his apartment complex.

He shut the door behind him and took the bag with the money from the back seat.

You climbed out of the car, groggy.

You yawned and walked in his steps towards his designated apartment on the second floor.

Suddenly Seongje stopped in his tracks. 

And when you see his apartment, you do too.

You look at him, his expression changes–not soft, just tired.

She was there.

Sitting in front of his apartment.

Her mascara was smeared, puffy eyes, cut on her forehead and near her lip, hair a mess and bruises all over her arms.

,,What happened?” He asks.

You just stare in disbelief. The first thing that crosses your mind is that she’s there because she got caught.

Oh, how wrong you were.

She was sobbing and trembling, unable to even answer the question.

So he asked again,

,,You got caught?”

She shook her head slowly, looking up at him.

He sighed.

,,Get inside.”

The girl nodded immediately.

You stayed frozen.

Because she listened to him.

Because she knew where to go.

Because she looked like she belonged there.

You hated yourself for it.

You hated that, for a moment, you forgot the obvious. The girl sitting in front of you was hurt. She was scared.

But your mind couldn’t get past the image in front of you.

Her walking into his apartment like she had done it before.

Like she had a place there.

You hated how jealousy could make you forget the part of yourself you were most proud of.

The part that cared.

How stupid.

Then Seongje looked back at you.

His expression changed slightly– not much. Most people probably wouldn’t have noticed.

But you did.

He knew exactly how this looked.

And the worst part was, he probably didn’t even know how to explain it.

,,Y/N, come inside.”

He pulled a cigarette from the pack, lighting it as he stepped toward the apartment.

It was almost ironic.

He had spent so much time outside tonight, and the first thing he does after walking inside his apartment was fill the air with smoke again.

You hesitated.

,,Y/N…” 

A warning.

Not angry.

Just firm.

Slowly, you took a step forward– listening to him.

Because somehow, after everything that happened tonight, you still couldn’t bring yourself to walk away.

 This night couldn’t possibly get any worse at this point.

The soft light from the lamp in the corner of the living room filled the dark apartment. You walked towards the couch and sat down, your body finally starting to feel the exhaustion from everything.

Then your eyes drifted back to her.

She was sitting quietly, staring out the window.

The city lights reflected faintly on the glass, the distant sounds of sirens and passing cars filling the silence between you.

For once, she didn’t look like someone who belonged here.

She just looked scared.

Seongje disappeared into another room, returning a minute later with a first aid kit in his hand.

He took out the supplies for your wound before handing the rest of them to the girl sitting on the right to you.

,,Do it yourself?”

She nodded, taking them carefully.

,,Thanks, Je” she whispered.

Your chest tightened

Je?

A fucking nickname?

You hated how quickly your mind jumped to conclusions.

You needed to calm down.

A heavy breath escaped your lips before you could stop it.

Her eyes immediately moved towards you. You looked away, pretending you hadn’t noticed.

A second later, the couch shifted beside you.

Seongje sat down.

Close.

Too close.

His thigh brushed against yours, and suddenly you were painfully aware of every inch of space between you.

His voice dropped lower, almost too quiet for anyone else to hear,

,,You’re next, I’m taking care of that wound when she’s gone.” 

For a second you forgot how to breathe.

Because that wasn’t Seongje’s usual voice.

There was no teasing.

No arrogance.

No stupid smirk.

Just him.

The room stayed quiet for a moment.

Seongje’s eyes stayed on the girl sitting across from him.

She looked exhausted– scared.

The kind that wasn’t fake.

He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees.

,,Start talking.”

She looked up at him, wiping at her face quickly.

,,I…”

Her voice cracked.

Seongje’s expression didn’t change.

,,What happened?”

A few seconds passed.

,,Why were you outside my apartment crying?”

,,I was supposed to finish the delivery…”

Her fingers tightened around the fabric of her sleeve.

,,But someone stopped me.”

Seongje’s eyes narrowed.

,,Who?”

She hesitated.

,,Some guy named Jae.”

The room went silent.

You looked up immediately.

The burning cigarette between his fingers stopped halfway to his lips.

,,Jae?”

The way he repeated the name made the room feel colder.

Jae. 

You felt sick. The name itself felt wrong. Not because you thought he was innocent.

But because some part of you still couldn’t process what he turned into.

Your stomach twisted.

Suddenly your first thought wasn’t anger.

This happened because of you.

,,What was his point of all this?” His voice was low.

Seongjes words pulled you out of your thoughts.

,,He said…”

She took a brief pause– looking at you now.

,,He said next time it wouldn’t be me.”

You froze.

She continued,

,,He said next time he’d make sure it was Y/N.”

Seongje immediately looked at you.

Not the girl.

You.

Because his biggest fear just became real.

Nobody moved.

The girl looked between the two of you, suddenly realising she had said something she probably shouldn’t have.

Seongje didn’t take his eyes off you.

Not even for a second.

,,You should go clean yourself up.”

His voice was quieter now.

The girl blinked, almost surprised.

,,What?”

,,You heard me.”

He looked at her briefly.

,,Get some rest. I’ll handle the rest.”

She nodded slowly, standing up from the arm chair.

,,Okay…”

She hesitated, looking at him one last time.

,,Thank you.”

He didn’t answer.

Not because he didn’t hear her.

But because his attention was already somewhere else.

On you.

The door clicked shut behind her– leaving just you two in the dimly lit apartment.

Suddenly the apartment felt too quiet.

The sound of the city outside became the only thing filling the space between you.

Cars passing by.

Distant voices.

The faint hum of the light from the lamp.

Neither of you spoke.

You couldn’t.

Then you heard the sound of his lighter flicking open and closed between his fingers.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

A habit.

A distraction.

You knew him well enough to know when he didn’t have an answer.

And that scared you more than anything.

There were too many things sitting between you, too many words that had been ignored for too long.

You looked down at your hands, picking at your fingers without realising it.

Seongje watched you.

You hated that you could feel his eyes on you.

You hated even more that a part of you wanted to look back.

Because now you knew.

The girl wasn’t taking your place.

She never was.

Your throat tightened.

,,Why?”

His eyes lifted to yours.

,,Why didn’t you tell me?”

The words came out quieter than you intended.

,,Because you would’ve done exactly what you did tonight.”

His tone wasn’t angry. 

Just… clinical.

,,So you just decide what I can handle?”

Your voice started getting louder, the anger finally breaking through.

,,You pushed me away, you replaced me, and now look what happened.”

Your eyes flicked towards the door where she had disappeared.

,,She got hurt because of this.”

Your voice cracked slightly.

,,If you just hadn’t pushed me away, maybe it would’ve been me.”

The words let your mouth before you could stop them.

Seongje’s expression changed.

,,Don’t say that.”

But you couldn’t stop anymore.

,,Why? Because it’s true?”

Your eyes burned.

,,She didn’t deserve that, Seongje.”

You swallowed, trying to hold yourself together.

,,She was just someone you put in my place because you thought you could protect me.”

A bitter laugh escaped your lips.

,,And now she’s the one being used as a warning.”

You stood up, unable to stay still anymore. Your fingers immediately found your mouth. Picking the skin like you could somehow release all the frustration trapped inside your body.

,,If it wasn’t her, it would’ve been someone else.”

The words hung in the air.

He lit another cigarette, staring at the flame for a second longer than necessary before taking a drag.

,,He’s not after her.”

His voice was quiet.

,,He’s after us.”

You stopped moving.

Smoke left his lips slowly as he looked away.

,,He’ll use anyone to get to me.”

A pause.

,,Because he knows he can get to me through you.”

The words came out almost like he hated admitting them.

And maybe he did.

Because Seongje had spent his whole life making sure nobody could reach him.

Nobody could hurt him.

Nobody could become a weakness.

Until you did.

Your chest tightened.

Because buried underneath all the fear and anger was something you didn’t want to admit.

He was scared because of you.

Not because you were a burden.

Because you mattered.

The room fell silent again.

This time, neither of you rushed to fill it.

The anger was still there– the questions were still there.

But so was the fact that you were both exhausted.

Seongje’s eyes dropped to the side of your neck.

The small cut that had been forgotten between everything else.

His expression changed.

,,Sit down.”

You frowned.

,,Seongje–“

,,Y/N.”

Hit tone wasn’t angry.

Just firm.

You hated that you still listened, once again.

He sat down in front of you, opening the kit. The apartment was so quiet you could hear every small movement– the opening of the disinfectant, the rustling of the bandages, his breathing.

,,It’s not deep.”

,,You don’t know that.”

His eyes lifted to yours.

,,I do.”

You almost laughed.

,,Of course you do.”

After he cleaned the wound he suddenly spoke again,

,,You’re still staying here tonight.”

You looked at him immediately, ,,Excuse me?”

,,It’s late.”

,,I can go home.”

His jaw tightened.

,,No.”

,,Seongje–“

,,I’m not arguing about this.”

You’ve had enough.

,,You don’t get to order me around anymore.”

A pause.

,,…Please.”

The word caught you off guard.

Because Seongje didn’t ask for things.

And Seongje never said please.

,,I don’t have any clothest to change into.” 

You shifted your weight, suddenly feeling the cold of your rain-soaked clothes again.

,,You can borrow one of my shirts.” 

His answer came without hesitation.

Silence settled between you.

Then, slowly, you nodded.

He picked up the first-aid kit and disappeared down the dark hallway towards his bedroom.

A minute later, he came back with a folded black t-shirt in his hand, his expression unreadable.

,,Here.”

You took it carefully,

,,Thanks.”

Your voice was barely above a whisper.

You slipped into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind you. The light flicked on with a soft click.

You peeled off your clothes one piece at a time, wincing slightly as the fabric brushed against the cut on your neck.

Finally, you unfolded the shirt.

Your movements stopped.

A white wolf was printed across the front.

His favourite one.

You’d seen him wear it more times than you could count.

And now…

He’d given it to you.

Your heart skipped for reasons you didn’t want to think about.

You slipped the shirt on.

It smelled like him.

A warm feeling spread across your chest.

You fixed your hair a bit before leaving the bathroom, heading to his bedroom, where the light was coming from now.

You stepped into his bedroom, tugging the oversized shirt down over your thighs.

Seongje looked up for a brief second before looking away again.

,,Come here.”

You walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed while he checked out the cut on your neck again.

Another silence.

You glanced towards the hallway.

,,I’ll sleep on the couch.”

,,No.”

You sighed.

,,Seongje–“

,,You’ll sleep here.”

,,There’s literally one bed.”

,,I’m aware.”

You scanned the bed, memories of the one time you slept over flooding back.

,,You’ll be uncomfortable.”

,,I wasn’t the last time.”

,,I don’t want to kick you out of your own bed.”

He looked at you, almost annoyed that you were still arguing.

,,You’re not.”

You searched his face for a joke– there wasn’t one.

With a quiet sigh, you climbed beneath the grey sheets, leaving as much space between the two of you as possible.

A second later, the mattress dipped as Seongje laid down beside you.

The room fell dark.

Rain continued to tap softly against the window.

Neither of you said goodnight.

There were still too many things left unsaid.

You lay on your side, facing the door of the room, convinced he had already fallen asleep.

Then you felt it.

His hand.

Not holding yours.

Not pulling you closer.

Just resting lightly against your hip.

Like he needed to know you were still there.

You closed your eyes.

For the first time in a long while…

You didn’t fall asleep alone.

taglist: @luvnarra @d1seongjeglazer

[ikigaidao]

Pt. 8, Pt. 9

summary: You owe him. For what?– let’s just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

content warning: mdni, strong language, drugs, guns, gunshots, knifes, smoking, violence

word count: 3 997

The screen on your phone lighting up made your heart stop. The rain drumming against the window seemed to disappear.

You stood frozen. 

It could only be a message from your parents– what the hell were you even doing right now?

You let out a shaky breath, forcing yourself to walk over to the couch.

You picked up your phone. 

For a second you just stared at the screen before finally unlocking it to see the message.

Unknown number.

: seongje told me to contact u

: ill be taking over some of ur delivery routes, just letting u know

Cold washed over you.

You should be relieved.

Relieved that you’re not tanged up with the Union as much anymore. Relieved that someone is finally taking over the work– it’s what you wanted at the end of the day. 

Then why does it feel wrong?

You didn’t reply.

You knew who it was.

The girl, always the girl.

Who the hell was she?

You scoffed at yourself.

This was getting ridiculous. He slept with you, and now, he’s acting as if you were just another face in the crowd. Someone he spares just one glance at on the street and never thinks of again. 

Your jaw tightened. Your grip on your phone grew tighter.

Fine.

He thinks he can just cut you off?

You were still connected to the Union. You could still take jobs.

Just not from him.

You didn’t even know why you suddenly cared to prove yourself to a gang you’d spend months trying to avoid. There wasn’t a single logical thought behind what you were about to do.

Only anger.

And whatever consequences came with it.

You needed to find Baekjin. 

Your thoughts raced. 

Adrenaline prickled beneath your skin.

Seongje had mentioned a few places where Baekjin usually spent his evenings. If you were lucky, maybe you’d find him there.

Before you even realised it, you were already in your bedroom, changing out of your school uniform to your regular clothes– plain black top, black jeans and your checkered Vans.

You quickly glanced out your bedroom window,

The rain was still pouring out the dark sky with no intention of stopping.

You pulled on a hoodie, the material immediately warming up your ice cold skin.

Then you shoved your phone into your back pocket and headed to the front door.

You couldn’t even care to pick up an umbrella on your way out.

You walked with purpose, the cold air with the rain ironically fitting your exact state of mind.

There was an old warehouse where Baekjin usually hung out. He had an office there for his studies.

That guy had to have a small study room in each spot the Union owned.

It was only a few blocks from your apartment, nothing too far, hopefully he will be there.

The walk there was a blur.

The storm only grew more violent. 

By now, you were completely drenched.

You were about to cross the street– 

Then you saw him.

With her.

Again.

She was getting into his BMW.

Just like you had not so long ago.

Seongje walked carelessly around to the drivers side. His orange windbreaker bright against the grey rain. He flicked his cigarette into a puddle without a second glance.

His expression was unreadable.

Almost bored.

To you, it was anything but that.

Your body was ice cold,

Yet something was burning inside of you.

Any remaining doubts you had were completely wiped out of your mind the moment she closed the passenger door.

The traffic light turned green.

You crossed the road without looking back.

The warehouse was only a two-minute walk away.

The closer you were getting, the less sense you had left in your poor, confused mind.

The less you cared about the consequences.

The alleys were getting narrower, while the buildings were getting older.

Purple and red neon signs buzzed above unknown bars and gambling joints, trying to lure people inside to drink away their paychecks– or lose what was left of them over a poker table.

A few men stood beneath the awnings despite the rain, cigarettes dangling from their lips as they argued over money that was already gone.

You looked ahead.

Finally, you spotted the warehouse.

Your steps got faster, the only thing you cared about was talking to him. 

You wrapped your fingers around the cold metal handle and pulled. The heavy warehouse door groaned open.

The smell of dust and weed hit you the moment you stepped inside.

Your nose scrunched from the smell of it.

There was a small light on around the corner lighting up the empty building a bit. If you weren’t so angry you’d be probably shitting your pants right now.

You hated being in abandoned buildings at night.

The place was eerily quiet– a few chairs had been knocked over, empty cans of cheap beer scattered across the floor alongside trash you tried not to step on.

Puddles covered the cracked concrete, rainwater dripping through holes in the ceiling in slow, steady drops.

Just making your way through the warehouse felt like a task in itself.

You stopped in front of the office door, your hand hanging in the air, unsure if you should knock.

,,You can come in, you know.” 

A hoarse, firm voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

You grabbed the handle and pushed the door open, closing it behind you.

And there he was.

Sitting at his desk.

Uniform still on,  hair perfectly in place.

Papers–math homework, neatly organised– were spread across the desk.

He didn’t even look up at first. Just a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Did he already know who you were?

You hesitated before speaking, taking a small step closer to his desk,

,,I work for Seongje. . . Geum Seongje.”

Your voice came out quiet.

You opened your mouth to add more, but he cut you off,

,,I know who you are,” 

He finally looked up.

His gaze landed on you properly now– slow, measuring, like he was trying to figure out exactly what kind of situation you were talking in as.

 ,,Why are you here?”

His tone was flat. Bored, almost.

You swallowed, straightening slightly. 

,,Seongje doesn’t need me anymore. Give me someone else’s routes.”

Your words came out more confident than you expected.

The silence that followed felt heavy, only broken by the water drops hitting the warehouse floor from your dripping clothes.

Baekjin watched you for a moment.

Not surprised.

Not confused.

Just thinking.

Like he knew something you didn’t. 

And in less than five seconds, he understood.

Not everything– but enough.

Enough to know this wasn’t about work. 

It was about a misunderstanding– about Seongje. Of course Seongje didn’t bother to explain anything to you. That wasn’t his style.

Baekjin leaned back slightly in his chair.

He didn’t play with emotions. Didn’t care for them, either.

But people were useful.

And you had just walked in offering yourself as one.

Business was business.

Whatever was going on between you and Seongje wasn’t Baekjin’s concern.

,,There is one job I can think of..” 

His stare was dead, tone clinical.

His expression never changed, like this conversation meant nothing to him.

,,Can I take it?”

Your voice came out thinner than you intended, your confidence held together by nothing but stubbornness.

A smile slowly spread across his face.

Not a warm one.

But the kind of that made your stomach sink.

Like you just made a deal with the devil.

,,Sure.”

You quietly let out a breath you were holding.

If only you’d  seen yourself through his eyes.

You were trembling.

Hoodie soaked by rain,

Chapped lips,

Dark circles under your eyes.

A girl trying far too hard to prove something.

Perfect– no one would suspect anything.

Too innocent for anyone to pay attention.

Too desperate to ask the right questions.

,,There’s just one condition.”

He folded his hands on the desk.

,,That package is worth way more than anything you’ve delivered before.”

He paused.

,,Im gonna need you to deliver two kilograms of cocaine.”

Your breathing stopped. Eyes opening wider in shock.

,,…Cocaine?”

The word barely escaped your lips– your brain refused to process anything he just said.

Baekjin raised an eyebrow,

,,What?”

,,Got cold feet already?”

,,What? N–No.” 

Your answered too quickly.

,,I was just…making sure I heard you right.”

He studied you for another second.

Then leaned back in his chair once again.

,,You offered.”

His voice stayed perfectly calm,

,,Im simply giving you what you asked for.”

The room fell silent– too late to back out now.

You nodded in response, gripping your dripping sleeves of your hoodie.

,,Perfect.”

He stood up, straightening his uniform, before walking towards the door.

,,Follow me.”

You nodded, immediately falling into step behind him. Waiting for whatever came next.

He led you to the back of the warehouse. Old furniture was stacked everywhere, covered in a thick layer of dust. Broken shelves leaned against the walls, and abandoned boxes were scattered across the damp floor.

You let out a quiet cough,

,,Sorry.” 

Baekjin didn’t even acknowledge it. His attention was elsewhere.

He gripped one of the heavy wardrobes and shoved it aside, revealing a hidden safe built into the wall.

You froze.

His head turned towards you.

,,Turn around.”

Your eyes widened.

,,Oh… right. Sorry.”

You immediately faced the opposite wall, obeying his words. You nervously picked at the skin around your thumbs. Your heartbeat was so loud you could hear it in your ears.

A series of quiet clicks echoed behind you as he entered the code.

,,Okay.”

A metallic clunk followed.

,,Turn around.”

You obeyed.

Your eyes landed on the open safe.

Your jaw dropped.

There were thousands, no– millions worth of drugs and guns stacked in there. Baekjin reached inside without hesitation– to him it looked as ordinary as taking papers from a filing cabinet.

He pulled out two vacuum-sealed bricks wrapped in brown tape and held them out to you.

You hesitated before taking them.

The weight of it caught you completely off guard.

,,I’ll text you the address and time.” 

He closed the safe and moved the wardrobe back in place like this is not a literal crime scene that could grand him a life sentence in prison.

,,Okay..”

He walked back into his office, coming back seconds later to give you a plain, black backpack.

,,Gonna need you to deliver it tonight.”

He glanced down at his phone before looking back at you,

,,You can go, that’s all.”

You nodded.

Baekjin reached for the handle of his office door, but paused halfway.

His head turned slightly in your direction, though he never actually looked at you.

,,Good luck.” 

A quiet chuckle escaped him before he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

The click of the lock echoed through the warehouse.

You were left standing alone in the darkness, with only the pale moonlight spilling through the broken windows.

You quickly shoved it into your bag before you started walking out.

The air was horrible here. How did he manage to be there for hours?

Your phone buzzed in your back pocket, you took it. A message from Baekjin– time and place.

It wasn’t as far as you thought, in fact you were surprised it was in the city centre.

You searched up the exact address.

You blinked.

You looked at the address he sent you again– it was correct.

A strip club.

Rain poured down around you. You stood beneath the small roof outside the warehouse for another minute before finally forcing yourself to move.

You needed to find a bus stop to get there.

You still had an hour, which should be enough, but you didn’t want to risk walking all the way there.

It took you less than five minutes to find one.

The stop was empty.

No bench. Just a rusted bin overflowing with trash scattered across the wet pavement.

A bus eventually pulled up.

You got in.

Sat down.

You were fidgety, your heart was racing.

You held onto the backpack like your life depended on it.

The city blurred past the rain– speckled windows. You watched strangers come and go, wondering how every single one of them had a life just as complicated as your own.

It was strange.

Your brain had never fully wrapped itself around the idea that everyone around you had their own story.

None of them knew what you were carrying.

Two bricks of cocaine rested quietly inside your backpack.

The bus stopped again.

This time, two police officers stepped inside.

Your heart dropped into your stomach.

They walked slowly down the aisle, casually talking to each other.

One of them glanced in your direction.

You stopped breathing.

Then they kept walking– passing right by you without a second look.

You let out a breath you hadn’t even realised you’d been holding.

Thank god.

You stepped off the bus, the rain growing lighter with every step you took.

The streets were alive.

People laughed, hurried across the sidewalks, or brushed past you without a second glance.

The place was impossible to miss.

A giant pink neon high heel glowed above the entrance.

Your phone buzzed.

You pulled it out and glanced at the screen.

You stopped in your tracks.

seongje: why aren’t you home?

As you were about to shove your phone back into your pocket, it buzzed again.

You let out an annoyed huff.

seongje: where are you, Y/N?

You held the power button until the screen went completely black.

Enough.

You slipped the phone into your back pocket and kept walking towards the entrance.

Seongje’s pov:

No answer.

,,Fuckin’ pissing me off, huh?”he muttered under his breath.

He had been ringing your door like a madman.

Enough is enough.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small lock pick. It wasn’t unusual for him to carry one. You never knew when you’d end up trapped somewhere and need a quick way out. 

He worked at the lock for a few seconds.

Click.

A smirk tugged at his lips.

He pushed the door open, fully expecting to find you inside, probably ignoring him on purpose.

Pretending you weren’t home.

Instead…

Silence.

You were nowhere to be seen.

The apartment was dark.

Empty. 

His brows knitted together.

,, Y/N?”

Nothing.

He shut the front door behind him and walked straight to your bedroom.

Maybe you were asleep?

The door was wide open.

No one.

He stood in the doorway for a second.

Where the fuck were you?

He pulled out his phone and quickly typed a message.

Delivered.

No reply.

He typed out another one.

:why aren’t you home?

:where are you, Y/N?

No answer.

His jaw tightened.

Without another thought, he turned around and stormed out of the apartment.

The front door slammed behind him, the sound echoing through the empty hallway in your apartment complex.

His thoughts were racing.

What the hell were you doing?

He had no idea where to even start looking.

Then it hit him.

Baekjin.

If anyone knew where you were, it would be him. There were cameras all over the Union’s territory– where you, luckily, lived.

Someone had to know where you’d gone.

He cursed under his breath and pulled out his phone again.

He scrolled through his contacts before finding Baekjin’s number.

He pressed call and lifted the phone to his ear. 

It rang once.

Twice.

Then–

“What?”

No greeting.

Typical. 

,,Can you get one of your guys to check the street cameras? ” Seongje said quickly. 

,,I need to find Y/N. She’s been avoiding a delivery she’s supposed to do.”

Silence.

“…Avoiding?”

Something about Baekjin’s tone made Seongje’s stomach drop.

“No.”

Another pause.

“She came to me.”

Seongje stopped walking.

,,What?” 

“She came to me asking for work.”

His grip tightened around the phone.

“I needed a courtier tonight anyway.”

The blood drained from Seongje’s face.

,,…What job?”

Baekjin sounded almost amused.

“The shipment.”

A long pause.

“The two kilos.”

His heart stopped. His hands were sweaty.

The cold outside did not matter anymore.

Nothing mattered anymore.

Except finding you.

,,Tell me where you sent her.”

“The club in the city.”

Seongje didn’t even bother saying a goodbye.

He shoved his phone into his pocket and practically ran to his car.

His thought were a mess.

Everything around him blurred together.

He wasn’t just angry anymore.

He was terrified.

His keys shook in his hands as he unlocked the BMW. He threw himself into the driver’s seat, barely taking a second to slam the door shut before starting the engine.

The tires screeched against the wet pavement as he sped out of the parking lot.

It was only about a ten-minute ride.

If he pushed the car hard enough.

His grip on the steering wheel was so tight his knuckles had turned white– the grip iron.

One of his legs bounced uncontrollably.

His jaw stayed clenched the entire drive.

,,Fuck…”

The word came out almost like a prayer.

If anything happened to you…

He didn’t even bother to park properly– not caring about getting a ticket at all.

His legs were carrying him towards the door of the club.

Pink led lights were shining through the tinted windows, music blaring through the building more loudly with each step he took.

He brushed past the people waiting in line to get in, the security guard immediately recognizing his already familiar face.

He just nodded and let Seongje in without a second thought.

He took two steps at a time to get to the upper wing of the club where the deals were usually made. There were several rooms on that floor– each for private dances or playing tables with hookers all over.

Upstairs, several doors lined the hallway.

Seongje’s jaw clenched.

Please don’t let me be too late.

Y/N pov:

You sat alone in one of the private rooms.

The music from downstairs vibrated through the thin walls.

Your backpack rested between your feet– you hadn’t touched it once.

The second hand on the clock seemed louder than the pop music echoing through the whole club.

Every minute felt like ten.

Suddenly, the door opened.

Two guys. One barely clothed girl.

She didn’t even glance at you, immediately heading to the pole at the back of the room.

They sat down, the couch sinking under their weight.

No greetings. Just blank stares and the screech of their lighters.

,,So..” 

The bald one looked at you. His gold tooth caught the red neon light.

,,Heard you’re gonna be the courtier.”

You swallowed, gaze flicking between them and the girl dancing at the back of the small room.

,,You have what we asked for, baby?”

Baby.

Your stomach sank.

Your mind immediately drifted to Seongje.

Snap out of it.

,,…Yeah.”

You glanced down at your backpack on the filthy ground before looking back at them.

They smiled.

The bald man nodded at the other guy. He reached behind the couch, pulled out a heavy duffel bag, handed it to the bald man first, then passed it to you.

You took it without a second glance.

,,Check it.”

You unzipped the bag. It was filled with money.

Okay, this is good so far.

You nodded, and then–

Sirens.

Your head snapped towards the door.

The men were on their feet in an instant, snatching the backpack and leaving you behind.

The girl ran after them, heels clicking on the ground.

You stood up, taking the duffel bag with you.

The moment you opened the door, chaos erupted.

People were running round.

Men were zipping up their pants.

Strippers were fixing their underwear while running towards the exit.

Then you heard a gunshot.

You froze.

You needed to get out– quick.

You ran through people, trying to find an exit. Instead you found probably the main dancing room.

There was a huge bar, six poles, and a lot of people– including the police officers.

You panicked, unknowing of where to go.

You took two steps and then–

A hand.

Before you could even think you found yourself being grabbed, knife held against your neck.

He’s shaking

,,Don’t move, darling.”

The man was terrified.

Police pointing rifles at everyone, including him.

Everyone was yelling.

,,POLICE! DON’T MOVE!”

Doors slam.

People scream.

Someone fires the first shot, then everyone starts shooting.

The smell of cheap liquor hit your senses as he told you to stay still.

You shut your eyes, praying to the gods he wouldn’t do anything to you.

The hold he had on you was too strong, you couldn’t do anything.

He was shaking too much, the knife grazed against your neck. Slicing you in the process.

You yelped from the pain, the feeling of blood dripping down your neck was all you could feel.

Then–

A gunshot.

For a moment you thought you were dead.

Then, you slowly opened your eyes again. The guy was lying on the ground, blood spilling from his shoulder.

You couldn’t breathe. 

You couldn’t think.

You just ran through the crowds of panicked people.

You tried to claw your way out, steps quick with hurry as you didn’t even look in front of you.

Suddenly you crashed into somebody.

You glanced up.

You couldn’t believe your eyes.

Were you fucking high?

,,S–Seongje?”

Your voice was shaky. You were trembling.

He had seen the whole scene unravel.

The knife.

The blood.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

His eyes landed on the thin line of blood running down your neck.

Everything else disappeared.

The shouting.

The sirens.

The guns.

He only saw you.

Without a word, he grabbed your wrist and dragged you outside.

The cold night air hit your skin.

You were in complete shock, not even realizing he had already unlocked the car and shoved you inside.

He slammed the passenger door shut before rounding the hood and climbing into the driver’s seat..

The sound of the door slamming snapped you out of the trance you were in.

He snatched the bag from your lap and threw it onto the back seat without a second thought.

Then he grabbed your face.

Carefully.

Turning your head to look at your neck.

A shallow cut.

You were fine.

Thank god.

,,Are you hurt?”

You couldn’t find your voice.

,,Answer me.”

His voice was breathless.

,,It’s nothing.” You snapped back, refusing to look at him.

He stared at you for a second, like he couldn’t even process what you’d just said.

,,…Nothing?”

A dry laugh escaped him.

,,You call someone holding a fucking knife to your throat nothing?”

His hand tightened around your jaw.

He ran his thumb near the wound without directly touching it.

,,Do you have any idea what would’ve happened if that cop had missed?”

You looked out the window, escaping his hold.

,,Why would you even care?”

A beat of silence.

,,Because something could’ve happened to you!”

The words came out without thinking.

He was annoyed at himself for saying that out loud.

Annoyed at himself for yelling. Because that meant he cared.

He hit the steering wheel with his fist.

Then, silence.

,,You think this is a fucking game? Walking into Baekjin’s office without telling anybody?”

,,You replaced me.”

He couldn’t believe his fucking ears.

,,I tried to fucking get you out!”

What?

You froze.

Your whole body was on fire.

You slowly turned around,

,,You never told me that.” 

,,Didn’t think I’d have to.”

You couldn’t listen to it anymore. You felt like you were suffocating in the car. It was getting smaller with each passing second.

You opened the door.

And you started walking.

He stayed in the car.

Of course.

Five second.

Ten.

He grips the steering wheel so hard he barely feels his hands.

,,…Fuck.”

He gets out.

And he runs after you.

Seongje grabs your wrist and pulls you back.

You struggle as he practically shoves you back into the passenger seat again and locks the doors.

taglist: @luvnarra @d1seongjeglazer

[ikigaidao]

Pt. 7, Pt. 8

summary: You owe him. For what?– let’s just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

content warning: strong language, mentions of violence, smoking

word count: 1 937

Your mind was all fuzzy.

The first thing you registered was the sharp buzzing of your phone.

It took you a few seconds to realize what had happened. And where you were. 

Seongje was nowhere to be seen–not that you were surprised. He still could be in the living room. Probably not, though. 

You stared blankly at your screen, replying to a few messages from your parents while your mind was somewhere else entirely.

mom: are you okay?

mom: miss you.

Thoughts and distant smell of him on your skin creeped up to you. It felt like vines dragging you underground. With each thought or faint smell of his cheap cologne–you were deeper and deeper in the dirt. It was choking you out. Still, no matter how much your hands tried to claw their way up, you still sinked.

The morning sun warmed your skin through the small bedroom window.

It was 7am–early enough.

You pushed yourself upright, only to immediately regret it. Your legs felt weak, tingling beneath you.

,,Shit..”

You were basically babbling random curses under your breath the whole way to Seongjes bathroom

It was small.

Just a shower, a sink, and a mirror hanging above it.

The air smelled faintly of mens shower gel and cigarette smoke. 

,,Does he have to smoke everywhere?” An annoyed huff was all that could be heard in the tiny bathroom.

Once you managed to look somewhat presentable, you headed into the living room.

Empty.

,,Of course.”

An annoyed sigh filled the empty apartment.

You checked your phone again.

Nothing.

No messages.

A knot tightened in your stomach.

When did he leave?

Did any of it mean anything?

Was all of it just lies, lies, lies?

You hated yourself for even asking. You were basically digging your own grave at this point.

Your feet carried you towards the front door, wanting to get out of the sin–filled space. It was suffocating. 

You couldn’t look at it.

The fresh air outside hit your face immediately.

It felt clean–almost cleansing.

As if the apartment behind you had never existed.

Cars passed by.

Students laughed somewhere in the distance.

The city kept moving.

Everything felt painfully normal.

Except you.

You shoved your hands into your pockets and kept walking.

A part of you regretted everything. 

Another part regretted nothing at all.

Something about Seongje was so thrilling–the way you never knew what was gonna happen next.

He was so adverse, it was killing you.

You never knew what he was thinking.

Never knew what he was going to do next.

Geum Seongje was impossible to understand.

And somehow, that only made it harder to walk away.

You never meant for it to get so far. Even when you were 17, you always kept your distance. You knew what kind of person he was. And somehow you still ended up in that bathroom in the club that night.

It was intoxicating.

Even more so than the alcohol in your system.

It felt like a freight train with no brakes. You got on, unknowing of the outcome it would have.

Stupid of you to think it would be the last time.

It was never like that with Seongje.

No matter if it was the packages, the way your body always reacted to his touch–earning that smug smirk on his face, or even whatever the hell was going on between you two.

It just kept happening.

The sharp sound of your name being called broke the spell of your daydream, bringing the bustling street rushing back into focus. 

It was Ha eun.

,,Hey, Y/N!” 

Her long black hair framed her face with her perfectly-styled bangs. Smile plastered all over her face.

You picked up on your steps, heading towards her.

The sun painted the sky a faint blush, while morning air quickly warmed against your skin as your feet carried you to your friend.

jaes pov:

The pounding of his head woke him up from the blackout sleep he was deeply in. The first thing he could hear was the beeping of a machine next to his bed.

He was in a hospital.

The room was dimly lit, curtains shut. His eyes were burning. Everything oh his body was hurting.

It took him a few minutes before he started to remember.

Seongjes look.

The way he beat Jae up.

And the reason why he did it.

Was Seongje more to Y/N than she admitted that one day in school?

His thoughts were racing, he didn’t know what to think or what to believe. All he knew was that he felt extreme rage at the fact that seongje beat him up over some bitch again. 

flashback:

He lead the way to some corner next to the stairs— ,,Look, what the hell was the other night? Where were you after? And why do you even know that guy?” He just spit the questions out on her and she knew she had to explain or he’ll keep digging until he actually finds out.

,,Look Jae, I don’t know the guy personally. I saw him a few times when i was out, yes. But that’s all. About where was I.. i had to go home,” she said firmly ,,Not like that’s any of your bussiness though.” She just scoffed, ,,Nice nose you have by the way..” Y/N smiled and turned around—walking away from him. He just stood there trying to gather some of the few things you said to him, you were never really a sharing type of a person. But something wasn’t clicking.

There was something going on.

And he will find out what the fuck is it.

You decided to go get some ramen after school with Haeun. You were both hungry and needed to get through some homework together. 

The both of you went to a ramen place near your school–it was pretty popular and had really good food. 

The place had a flickering neon light on which you knew so well. 

Oreno ramen.

The smell of noodles being made hit your senses the moment you opened the door to the place. It was huge–had two floors, pretty dim lights on, flowers all over, neon signs all over.

It was a really relaxing place to be at.

The place was absolutely crowded as always. You had to wait at the host desk for a bit before the waitress walked you to your table.

All you could smell was broth mixed with perfumes of the students and office workers here.

You didn’t even realise how relaxed your body was until you saw him.

He was a few tables in front of you, but you could clearly see him from your seat.

You stopped in your tracks.

There he was, sitting on a couch, legs spread, arms stretched out on the top of the seat.

But he wasn’t alone.

He was nothing close to being alone.

Your heart dropped– a strange heaviness settled in your chest.

You didn’t even know why. 

Its not like he was yours to begin with.

A girl.

The girl from the video.

He wasn’t touching her nor talking to her, his focus was on the group of guys around the table now. Faint sound of laughter here and there was all you could hear.

The girl was giggling at literally anything Seongje said.

,,Hey, you gonna sit down or no?” Haeun broke you out from your analysing of the whole scene unravelling in front of you.

,,Yeah, sorry” An awkward humourless laugh escaped your lips as you sat down. Your skin coated with cold sweat and absolute rage hidden under it.

The study date went on, you ordered food and you both were currently waiting for it.

You were trying to explain some equations to Haeun, then she said something so stupid that made the both of you burst out laughing.

Then you felt eyes on you.

His eyes.

You looked up, he only looked at you for a brief second.

An empty look–like you were a stranger just annoying him with being too loud for his own liking.

He looked at the guys again, talking like nothing happened. As if you were nobody. 

Then the girl put her hand on his shoulder. And he didn’t push her hand of off him.

Your throat tightened.

You looked down, the world around you shrinking all at once. He looked absolutely unaffected.

,,Here’s your ramen, ladies.” The waitress almost startled you, you shook a bit.

Get it together.

,,Oh, thank you so much.” You smiled, the scraping sound of the ceramic bowl against the wooden table as you dragged it closer to you echoed in your ears.

You’ve talked about school with Haeun for another 30 minutes, the ramen long time gone and paid for. 

You glanced at the direction of Seongje’s table again–and that’s when Haeun had enough.

,,Are you crushing on the Wolf guy or what, Y/N?” The question was absolutely innocent. Just something to tease you with.

,,What? No, no I’m not.” You shook your head immediately looking elsewhere ,,Im just annoyed they keep talking so loud.”

Your friend just nodded and looked at the table Seongje was at again,

,,You think they’re dating? They look kinda cute together..” She kept talking about something else, the question being rhetorical.

You needed to get out.

Now.

,,Haeun I’ll need to head home,” 

You started stuffing your textbooks and pens back into your bag ,,I forgot I needed to clean my room today.”

You glanced at her as you already stood up, the heavy bag resting against your shoulder.

,,Oh, okay girl, see you tomorrow.” She smiled completely unaware of your inner panic.

You just nodded, walking away from the seat before you heard your name being called.

You stopped.

,,Y/N! Thank you for the help with the homework again!” Her head was turned, facing you, as she waved you a goodbye.

You just showed her a small finger heart, before you started walking again.

You didn’t even look at Seongje again– you couldn’t.

The sun was setting outside.

The cold hit your bare skin under your skirt.

Your steps were quick, everything around you turning into a mush as you got closer and closer to home.

Small drops of rain started falling on you

Thank god you were unlocking the front door.

You slipped inside before the rain could properly start.

The apartment was quiet– too quiet.

Complete opposite of the thoughts in your head.

Your kicked your shoes off and dropped your bag near the couch. For a few seconds you just stood there.

Staring.

Thinking.

That girl.

Her hand on his shoulder, the way he didn’t move away.

The way he looked at you.

No– the way he didn’t look at you.

You laughed quietly to yourself, a pathetic sound.

,,Get over it.”

The words felt stupid the moment they left your mouth.

You two weren’t . . .anything.

You walked over to the window. The rain was getting heavier now, drops running down the glass.

You reached for your phone, no messages.

Not from him.

Not even a stupid order.

A delivery task.

Nothing.

Your stomach twisted. You hated yourself for even checking like some stupid girl crushing on someone.

You hated yourself even more for caring.

Was she your replacement? Did she do the delivery tasks now?

Outside, thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance. You locked your phone and tossed it onto the couch.

Tomorrow would be different– it had to be.

You were done letting Geum Seongje get inside your head–

Before you could even finish the thought,

Your screen lit up.

Once.

A new message.

You stared at if from across the room.

taglist: @luvnarra @d1seongjeglazer

[ikigaidao]

i’ll be posting, my hands have been hurting a lot lately and i’ve been having some issues with them—so here is an edit i made :) i also make edits btw, yugenshizuka on tiktok<3

[ikigaidao]

Pt. 6, Pt. 7

summary: you owe him. For what?–lets just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

content warning: mdni, strong language, rough sex, degrading, slight bondage, violence, overall just adult content

word count: 4 680

present moment:

Your steps just mindlessly took you to school on autopilot. You didn’t know if you were more pissed off or confused. How could he be so fucking difficult? 

You genuinely didn’t fucking know what to think.

Was he into you?

Or not?

None of his words, his looks or his stupid actions would leave your mind alone. It felt like your head was boiling inside out. Just searching for any type of relief. 

You had given up on hooking up with some guys you couldn’t give less shit about. Never ended good anyway. Seongje always somehow ended up in the same spot as you, beating up the guy.

A sigh escaped your lips.

Before you could get any more lost in your thoughts your best friend nudged into you.

,,And what are you doing here so early?” her tone was playful, curious.

,,Oh, hey,” a smile creeped up on your face. You missed just being normal with her. Casually talking about random stuff.

Lately you’ve been so preoccupied with Seongje and his stupid antics, that you missed out on your life before all this.

,,I was just finishing up on some math homework, wanna copy it?” you offered her the paper filled with ink, she nodded,

,,Ah, you’re speaking my language Y/N..” a dramatic sigh of relief filled the empty room you both were in.

It was nearly the time people would start coming up to school. 

Groups of girls giggling on the hallway, guys yelling at eachother. 

The muffled sounds of them just echoing in the classroom.

Fresh air drifted through the open window as you sipped your coffee.

,,You know…” your friend started carefully,

,,Uhm, you hung out with jae a few times, right?” she stared at her paper, mumbling the sentence out.

You raised your brows, a bit suspicious now.

,,Yeah..?” the curiousity lingered in your tone,

,,Well, he got beat up so badly he actually ended up in hospital.” her tone was quiet before she continued ,,That Wolf guy did that shit. I don’t know why, but pictures of jae’s face are everywhere..” she took her phone to show you,

,,Oh my god..” your jaw was on the floor. You truly couldn’t recognize who it was if it wasn’t for the stupid necklace he always wore.

You stood up, not sure exactly why.

,,I-I need to go.” the words left your lips in a hurried tone, the only thing you heard before your ears started completely ringing was a “yeah, of course, go.” from her before your legs carried you out of the school building.

You didn’t know what to do. 

Where to go.

You had absolutely no plan or tactic to solve this, were you even trying to solve this? It already happened anyway.

You stood in front of your school.

Your legs felt heavy.

The sun that was shining so beautifully not even two hours ago? Felt dead cold on your skin right now.

,,What do i even do..” you just whispered to yourself as students brushed past you completely unaware of the situation you were in right now.

Did he do it because of you?

That’s ridiculous, how would he know.

But did he know somehow?

Your body suddenly started moving again, you needed to know the truth, whatever it was.

The Union had a main building they always hung out in, the bowling alley. 

You always tried to avoid it as much you could, but here you were.

Again.

The door to the place creaked, the smell of dust and cigarette smoke immediately hitting you.

The light was dim, you took the stairs down, it was dirty.

Suddenly you were in the main room. There were guys laughing at something, didn’t notice you just yet.

The place looked a lot more unwelcoming throughout the day. Just some building most people would avoid.

A few seconds passed before one of the guys noticed you.

He had messy hair, an ugly grin.

,,And what a pretty lady like you is doing here?” He took a few steps forward, a playful grimace on his face.

,,Um, I need to talk to Seongje.” you tried to sound as firm as possible. 

,,Is he here?” your gaze turned to the other guys as well. 

They started laughing. Fucking jerks.

This was pointless.

,,What’s so fucking funny?” a sudden voice,

Seongje.

He was here.

He came out of one of the back rooms. Probably where the important people hung out.

The room fell silent, Seongje looked at them before he glanced at you.

And he froze. 

You froze.

,,Get the fuck out.” he mumbled an order dedicated to the group of idiots.

They all got up,

not a word was exchanged.

One by one they walked up the stairs until it was just you and him.

He breathed out, looking around the place. Then he looked straight at you.

Finally the silence was broken,

,,I wanted to talk to you…” your voice was quiet, you kept fiddling with your thumbs.

He observed everything, as per usual.

Seongje didn’t speak. He took three lazy steps with his hands in his pockets before he was right in front of you.

Your brain was foggy with his lingering presence,

You tried to gather your thoughts,

,,I.. saw the photo.” You took a brief pause,

,,How did that happen?”

Your sentence was more like a whisper if anything.

He smirked.

For a moment he just stared at the floor, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek.

Then he looked back at you.

“You skipped school for that?”

The corner of his mouth twitched.

“Thought you’d have figured it out already, princess.”

He laughed quietly, continuing,

,,Guy put his hands on you.” 

A shrug.

,,What did you think was gonna happen?” his eyes never left yours.

A warm feeling spread through your chest.

Before you got pissed off all over again.

,,You do that shit for all your delivery girls, or just me?” your tone came out sharper than you intended.

He look amused.

A slow smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

,,Are you jealous?”

You scoffed.

,,Answer the question.” the smile never left his face.

,,No. Why would I be?”

A pause.

,,I don’t do that shit for anybody else.” 

His tone was still teasing, but you could sense a hint of seriousness in it.

,,Then why do you keep treating me like shit?” your head tilted, you needed answers: a scoff of his and a “go to school, baby” wasn’t enough anymore.

Silence.

He looked away for a second.

Then laughed.

Not because it was funny.

Because he didn’t know what else to do.

,,You really wanna have this conversation?”His eyes found yours again.

Suddenly your bodies were too close. The air wasn’t enough, again.

You were thinking of an answer for a second before he grabbed your wrist.

Of course.

He dragged you out of the building.

He was moving too fast

His legs were much longer than yours, taking steps two at a time while you struggled to keep up.

,,Seongje! Slow down.” Your words barely seemed to register.

He kept going,

Purposeful.

Focused.

Like he already made up his mind about something and nothing was going to stop him. 

Reaching the parking lot, he pulled his keys from his pocket and pressed the unlock button. The headlights of his BMW flashed.

For a moment, it felt like nothing existed except his heavy breathing and quick strides.

,,Get in.”

He grabbed your arm and guided you toward the passenger door.

Seongje rounded the front of the car while you climbed inside, confusion twisting in your stomach.

The second he got behind the wheel, he started the engine.

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

His heavy breaths filled the small space between you.

He didn’t even bother putting his seatbelt on before pulling out of the parking lot.

Fast.

Too fast.

You glanced at him.

His fingers tapped restlessly against the steering wheel. His jaw was tense.

His chest rose and fell quicker than usual.

Something was wrong.

And that scared you more than if he had been angry or his usual self.

The city blurred behind the windows. The silence heavy between the both of you. You wanted to say something.

But what? It’s not like you could stop what was about to happen.

Whatever it was.

,,Seongje.”

No response. His grip just tightened around the steering wheel. Knuckles turning white.

You glanced at his hands before you looked back on his face.

,,Say something” your tone was desperate for anything, ,,please..” 

For a second you thought he was going to ignore your words again, but then a humourless chuckle escaped his lips.

No smugness to it.

No cockiness.

No joke to it either.

,,You really don’t get it. Do you Y/N?” 

You couldn’t tell if he was actually mad or just annoyed.

You tilted your head, he glanced at you.

His eyes were filled with something you couldn’t quite name.

The car stopped. Still he didn’t talk, he just turned the engine off.

,,Get out of the car.” He opened his door and before you barely closed yours he was already locking the car.

Wrist.

And he walked with purpose again.

,,Seongje, seriously,” You were starting to get frustrated.

,,Can you stop acting like a fucking psychopath for five minutes and talk to me?”

His keys jingled in his hand. A smirk appeared on his face at your frustration..

,,Princess, you’ll get your answers soon.”

He let go of your hand and stopped in his tracks.

Wind brushed against the both of you. The air was hot. The sun not shining anymore.

Goosembumbs rose on your skin.

Seconds felt like hours. Everything felt like too much. 

Every touch. 

Every word.

A part of you knew where this was headed. 

The realisation settled heavily in your stomach.

The door to his apartment finally opened. His fingers hooked around your wrist again before letting go a second later.

The door clicked shut behind you. The sound of the lock echoed through the apartment. 

He stepped in front of you, his eyes hungry.

Like someone who had spent months wanting something and had finally decided to take it.

All you could do was back off subconsciously, your back hitting the door.

You took a slightly open mouthed breath, his gaze turning to your lips.

Fuck, this is so bad.

You fucking need him right now.

You’ll for sure regret it later.

,,You’re doing it again.” Seongje took a step towards you, practically caging you in right now.

You looked up at him,

,,Doing what?” 

His eyes never left yours, looking at you like you were the only person left in this world.

Your limbs tingled all at once.

,,Looking at me like you want me to ruin you.” 

His index finger traced your jaw, he licked his lips.

,,Maybe I do.”

It felt like sin to say it out loud after all this time. You barely whispered it. Almost like no one was supossed to hear those words come out of your mouth.

His jaw tightened.

That’s it.

Before you could think he started kissing you.

His hands were everywhere.

It was hungry, like he is punishing you for wanting you so badly. 

You kissed him back, your tongue licking his lip.

He breathed out like it was a relief for him.

His grip on your waist was firm, almost possessive, and it sent a shiver straight to your core.

Everything felt rushed.

Like if you two separated even for a second, the other would disappear. 

His lips kissed your jaw before moving onto your neck, each touch carrying the same intensity that had been building between the two of you for months.

,,S–Seongje..” His name left your lips in a shameless moan.

,,Jesus christ–“ he muttered under his breath.

For the first time he looked just as affected as you felt.

You could feel his dick on your inner thigh becoming harder,

And harder.

Your cunt was soaked already. 

The ache was unbearable.

His rough fingers traced around your cleavage, stopping on the swell of your breast. 

He let go of you for a second, tugging off his red bomber jacket without a care for where it lands.

His eyes swept over you.

Your lips were absolutely ruined already.

Your breathing uneven.

For a moment he just stared. Then a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

,,Feeling needy already?” 

He was absolutely wrecked himself, but he’d never admit that out loud.

His jeans were painfully tight,

,,Just do something,” you held onto his shirt in a plea,

,,Before I change my mind.”

When he reached for you again, he took your hand.

Not your wrist.

Your hand.

The small difference made your heart skip.

Without another word, he led you through his apartment. The smell of cigarette smoke lingered in the air, clinging to the walls.

His bedroom was plain,

Grey sheets, a half-made bed. Nothing dirty, just messy.

The door shut behind you.

He pushed you with his index and middle finger,

You took an unconscious step back and ended up falling onto the edge of the mattress. Catching yourself just in time with your hands behind your back.

Your gaze lifted to him.

You were completely at his mercy.

His chest rose up and down, he looked absolutely breath-taking. 

He looked you up and down, smirking in victory.

You subconsciously rubbed your thighs together, the only noise in the room being your skirt shifting.

And his ragged breaths alongside yours.

,,Still sure, Y/N?” His eyes were dark.

He knew your answer.

You just nodded slowly, 

That was not enough for him.

,,Uh–uh, use your words,” he took your jaw in his hand, towering over you.

,,You’re a big girl, I want to hear you say it.” He caressed your lip,

Then he put his hands in his pockets.

Dead serious stare.

,,I…” You mumbled your words out, clenching the sheets, 

Seongje raised his brows.

Waiting.

,,I want you, Seongje.”

He was on top of you the next second. His hands found your blouse,

He unbuttoned it one by one. Savouring it.

He never had you this way, completely to himself.

The blouse scrunched around your sides, completely revealing your chest to his sight now.

His pupils were blown wide, 

Jaw tight,

You were wearing a basic white bra, nothing special since you had no idea you’d end up here.

He breathed out, clenching your top in his hands on each side of you. 

Then he looked at you.

His mouth was slightly opened. He couldn’t get enough air in. 

How could he wait out for so fucking long? 

Fuck, he was a fucking hero for keeping his hands off you for years.

His hand slipped on your collarbone.

His fingers tracing carefully over it, before he slowly moved his hand down between your breasts.

A shiver ran down your spine.

He was looking at you while doing all of this.

It was erotic.

You’ve never experienced such intimate moment with anyone.

Then he cupped you, you whined in surprise. His gaze turned to your chest again, his hand moving all over it.

You were flushed all over, your breaths filling the small room.

,,I need it off.”

He was already moving, lifting you up to remove the last piece of clothing on your upper body. The cold air immediately hitting your nipples as they hardened.

Seongje almost fucking moaned at the sight of you.

You were so soft, so open for him. His mouth was on your nipple in seconds. His hand massaging your other tit, while he sucked on your nipple. Saliva all over it. You held him close like someone was gonna snap him away from you any second now.

Your eyes closed in bliss, a moan slipping past your lips. 

,,There she is.”

He hummed against you in satisfaction. 

He was between your legs, his erection visibly poking your stomach now, adding to the sensation.

He couldn’t get enough. You were squirming under him from all the pleasure. When he decided it was enough his gaze lifted again.

His lips wet from making out with your chest.

He moved you around to put you just where he desired. You let him. 

Suddenly you were on his lap. His back leaning against a wall. 

His hands on your waist, he moved them against him, as he leaned in to kiss your neck. Placing kisses on the spot that made your breaths louder. 

He was making you his. Hickeys marking your whole neck and chest. His rock-hard dick hitting the perfect spot on your cunt through your panties. 

It was endless. The movements getting faster.

Rougher.

His breathing was too heavy not to hear anymore.

You were a panting mess at this point.

Dripping.

Fidgety.

Sensitive.

He stopped grinding you against himself, a whine caught in your lips from the loss of the stimulation.

His glasses were foggy around the corners, cheeks a bit pink.

His tip was already leaking with pre-cum, he was fucking loosing it. If you’d be a random girl he would be pounding into you already.

But this was different.

He wanted to take his time on you.

,,Staining my jeans already?” 

He was still so full of it.

An annoyed huff escaped your lips, unbelievable. 

Before you figured out what to say, his hand trailed down to your cunt.

He breathed out, eyebrows furrowing together.

,,You’re fucking drenched.” It was almost a whisper in mercy. 

He looks at you like he is coming undone, as if its hurting him.

You just hum in response, too desperate to care.

His fingers trace your folds through the thin underwear you’re wearing, you shake in response. The touch was sensual, almost tortuously slow. 

Your tongues meet again, just adding to the pressure he was creating. He was holding himself completely back, he needed to hear your pleas. Begging, like he is the only one to make you fall apart this easily.

He was.

Your hips moved on their own against his fingers, but before you could do it again, his other hand found your hip. Holding it with bruising force.

You whimper at the sensation of him everywhere. His middle finger hooked around your panties, tugging them to the side. Breeze hitting your folds and core. He bit your lip, sliding his tongue inside before his fingers touched your bare cunt. 

,,Fuck..” You moaned out, voice shaky and breathless. 

His dick twitched against you from the sheer pleasure of feeling you whole.

He moved his fingers, before he stopped just right above your entrance. A frustrated grunt earned from you by all the teasing.

He separated his fingers teasing you in a V shape around it. 

,,Oh my god–“ Your vision went completely blank for a second from the ecstasy of the movement he kept repeating.

He only chuckled in response, his pride swelling from your reactions.

Then, without a warning, he slipped two fingers inside of you.  

Your wet walls immediately sucking them in as a ragged, loud moan left your lips.

,,Fucking hell.” Seongjes voice sounded pornographic. 

He didn’t even move his fingers yet. Both of you just taking a second to get used to the sensation of feeling each other.

Your hand was clutching onto his shoulder like your life depended on it. Just searching for any kind of grounding and stabilization.

,,Look at me.” His voice was firm, hoarse.

You could barely register his order, before he hooked his fingers around your jaw,

,,Look at me while I do this to you.” 

His fingers started moving the moment your gaze met his. You opened your mouth in a silent gasp, your eyes almost watering from the pleasure. His mouth was slightly opened, just barely. His forehead sweaty. You could fucking cum just from the sight of him like that. 

He was pumping them in and out of you, the slick of you making it all so easy for him.

The eye contact was never broken.

His hand holding your side of neck to stabilizate you.

His fingers slipped completely inside of you. Just staying there before he started scissoring them inside of you.

Your vision went white.

Moans louder than before.

,,There.”he mumbled to himself as he hit your most sensitive spot.

His pace never faltering, he kept the movement going. You were falling apart around his fingers.

,,Are you gonna cum around my fingers, baby?” 

The slick noises of his fingers and your cunt meeting were filling the room, making Seongjes twitching erection unbearable to handle anymore.

You were completely shameless, he thought.

His pupils were completely blown wide. He looked like he was having the best high of his life.

Your cunt rhythmically clenched around his fingers.

You were close.

So close.

,,Fucking slut.” he muttered his words out before slipping his fingers out of you. Leaving you empty, mad and aching.

Your eyes watered from frustration.

He was just watching you, enjoying the view.

His hand caressed your cheek once again, a taunting smirk on his face from amusement.

,,You want me to make you finish so bad?” 

Seongje almost fucking came in his pants from the pathetic look you gave him. 

,,Seongje…” It was an annoyed sigh, your legs were shaking, you were ruined.

Yet he insisted on hearing you say those words.

His hands slipped on your thighs.

The touch was possessive.

,,I want you,” you guided his hand to your cunt again. His digits grazed around your slick folds,

,,now.”

The last bit of restraint he had was gone.

His eyes were completely dark.

Filled with lust and something else you couldn’t quite name. There was a slight hint of care behind his rough touch and mean words.

He unbuckled his black belt, taking it completely off his waist.

A sound of his zipper suddenly made everything feel too real.

Were you going to fucking ride Seongje?

He shoved the jeans down just enough to free himself.

Your mind was too drunk with his touch to reconsider all of this, your body just screaming for more of him.

His dick sprung free, the sight of him made your knees buckle, and your heartbeat pick up even more. If that was even possible.

He was thick, his tip swollen, red and leaking with the slick precum. You were seconds away from just fucking moaning at the sight.

He noticed you staring so hard, a smirk appearing oh his face.

,,What? Cat got your tongue?” 

Your gaze lifted back at him, shame twisting in your gut from getting caught staring so hard.

Instead you started kissing him.

Your tongues dancing together, saliva connecting you both. He was biting your lip, taking it into his mouth and sucking on it. 

Your hand wandered off, grabbing him.

The touch send a shiver down his body, he breathed into your hot mouth. You smiled at his reaction. Enjoying the effect your touch had on him.

You started moving your hand in up and down movement, stroking your thumb against his tip.

God he wasn’t gonna last long, he needed to fuck you already.

His hand lifted your hips and guided your entrance to his cock. 

You were completely leaking all over him,

,,Still sure you can handle me?” 

His voice was breathless,

Your mind hazy,

And then he slapped your body down, his dick sinking into you without a warning.

The moan that left your lips was long and loud. The stretch hurting so good.

A choked moan left Seongjes lips,

,,O–oh, fuck..”

His head lifted upwards, eyes closing from the pleasure.

You were so fucking soft inside. So warm. 

It was killing him.

Your whole body was aching with need as it started moving on its own.

A small thurst, 

It was too much. Too good.

You held onto his shoulders for support, lifting your hips again, before sinking down.

Seongjes  hands were squeezing your hips, knuckles turning white. 

The he looked at you.

And he moved you towards him, the movement hitting all the right spots inside of you.

You never experienced something this good.

,,You drive me insane.”

His words added to your pleasure, warm feeling spreading through your chest. You were a complete moaning mess. Your hips rocking against his pelvis as you chase your high with him.

The rhythm got faster, room hotter,

The light outside? Dimmer.

How long was this going on for?

His lips found your nipples again. He was growling into your chest, his hands grabbing your ass now. He was moving you on himself as he pleased.

Then his dick hit a sensitive spot inside of you.

Your vision was nonexistent again. A ragged moan filling the small room.

,,That’s it.”

His words went straight into your sore and sensitive core. 

,,Taking me so well..” He was whispering his words against your neck now,

Marking you.

Then he slipped out of you, earning a disappointed whine from you in return. Before you could complain any more, he was standing behind you.

He pinned you in place,

Your cheek hitting the soft sheets, as he pulled your ass up.

One hand settled on your hip to steady you.

,,Be a good girl and stop moving for me for a bit, hm?” 

His tone was soft. Like he was lecturing a misbehaved child.

All you could do was a weak nod in agreement to his statement.

The head of his cock nudged your cunt. Your breathing stopped.

And then he buried himself inside of you once again. The force of it making you whine his name out.

A sinful, wet sound of skin slapping echoed in his apartment.

You felt so stuffed you couldn’t even remember where you were. 

His pace got unbearable really fast. He was pounding into you like his life depended on it. He pulls your wrists behind your back–a sudden weight of something being wrapped around them.

He was using his belt to tie you up.

,,S–Seongje, oh–please–“ the words were muffled and weak, a desperate plea from your body. 

,,Fuckin–“ 

Thurst.

,,Get it–.”

Thurst.

,,Now, hm?” 

He was asking you a question you couldn’t even answer. You were practically sobbing now, inching to your high you craved so bad.

Seongje himself was absolutely loosing it. His hunger to make you cum all over his cock making him groan out.

,,Cmon–cum for me, baby” 

His words made your pussy clench around him.

,,Soak my cock. Show me how much you want me.” 

His hand grabbed a fistful of your hair, the angle and his words making the coil in your lower stomach break.

,,F–fuck” and breathless pleas of his name was all he heard when you broke. Your pussy soaking him and spasming around his length.

,,Shit–gonna fill you up, yeah?”

You were sensitive and moaning, just nodding at his question.

,,Please, fill me up.” 

That was his undoing.

,,Fuuuuck– oh fuck–“ 

A sinful groan of his was all you heard before you felt his hot cum in your cunt.

He was holding you down on his cock, slowly riding out his orgasm–the grip so strong it will for sure leave bruises.

Your wrists sprung free, the sound of his belt hitting the floor was your wake up call.

He pulled out, the cum leaking out of you still. The sight of it made his head spin.

This wasn’t enough.

After this there’s no way someone else would see you like that.

You fell on the bed, body weak and aching.

He moved you to his pillow, tucking you in the soft sheets. The contrast of your hot body with the cold fabric was ecstatic.

,,Gonna take a shower, yeah?”

You just nodded, your eyes closed.

Normally he would’ve told any other chick to get the fuck out,

But something about this moment didn’t let him. 

Before he could come back, you fell asleep.

Your mind turning black.

tag list: @luvnarra @d1seongjeglazer

[ikigaidao]

Pt. 5, Pt. 6

summary: you owe him. For what?—let’s just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

content: sexual content, smoking, drinking, cursing, explicit content, mdni, violence, blood

word count: 1837

You pushed yourself off the floor where you’d broken down.

You sniffled and started walking into your bathroom.

The familiar scent of lemon hit your senses and you flicked the light on.

You had mascara smeared all over your red cheeks.

Puffy eyes stared back at you from the mirror.

You cried for almost half an hour.

You were exhausted.

Confused.

Frustrated.

Jae was an asshole. You knew that.

But you never expected him to actually do something.

You just sighed, flicking the light off in the bathroom and opening your bedroom door.

You sat down on the edge of the bed, the sheets rustling beneath you.

Your head just kept spinning back to seongje and his attitude towards you.

Just like when you were 17.

,,Ugh..” you sighed, completely annoyed.

Your mind was made up. You were going to ignore seongje.

Completely.

If he’ll need a delivery girl, he can ask the other one.

You’re done.

You tucked yourself in your soft sheets and turned your phone off completely. You don’t wanna deal with any type of messages from anyone tomorrow.

The morning was calm.

You cleaned some laundry that was lying on the floor, cooked yourself rice and shrimps and watched some tv show.

Your mind felt blank,

And for once you weren’t fighting it.

Your phone was off for the whole day, and you kept it that way, but before you would go to bed you needed to turn on an alarm to wake you,

do not disturb will do, the alarm will ring anyway.

The next morning you got ready and decided to walk to school a bit earlier so you could finish some math homework before your classes.

It was a bit windy outside today, the sun was rising,

gold light illuminating your facial features.

The streets were pretty much empty since it was around 5:00am.

You smiled to yourself, enjoying the rare peace and quiet.

Until a hand suddenly wrapped around your wrist.

Before your brain could even process what was happening, your back hit a cold brick wall.

,,What—“

You didn’t even finish the sentence before you saw the familiar face.

Full of cockiness as always.

,,The fuck you think you’re doing?” seongje tilted his head and looked you in the eyes.

You decided to play it cool,

,,Going to school?” You pretended to be annoyed at this whole interaction just furrowing your brows.

,,You’ve been ignoring my messages,” he leaned towards you, one hand on the brick wall,

The other held a half-smoked cigarette.

,,I don’t like that.”

He blew the smoke right into your face.

You squeezed your eyes shut before the smoke could make them water.

,,Yeah, like i give a shit, geum.” You softly pushed him from your way, just acting nonchalant now.

You just wanted to piss him off, probably.

A part of you enjoyed how annoyed he truly looked behind his smirk.

As you were about to take a step forward he stepped in front of you.

Flicking his cigarette on the cold wet ground.

,,Mhm,” he grabbed you by your waist,

Both hands on each side of you.

The contact was electric, and you hated that.

Your breath hitched from the surprise.

He pinned you back against the wall, the smell of his cologne hitting you.

,,Did i hurt your feelings, Y/N?” He put on a taunting smile, just mocking you now.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, just attempting to get away from his grip.

He didn’t let you.

Just stepped closer to you,

Your bodies touching now.

,,Seongje, let me go.” You mumbled out, your body already giving you away, again.

The logical part of your brain was still hanging on, so you kept trying to push him away.

He just smiled, looking down on you.

Then he leaned closer, his lips trailing against your ear,then he stopped moving,

just his lips hovering over the part of your neck just under your ear.

His hot breath brushed against your skin.

Goosebumps rising along your arms.

Your heartbeat sped up.

Your hands clenched into fists.

“If that night didn’t mean anything to me, I wouldn’t be standing here right now.”

he whispered, waiting for you reaction.

He felt every single little twitch of your body.

Every small ragged breath you took when he was near you.

He knew he hurt your feelings, and he knew exactly what made you so upset,

You were so cute trying to pretend like you didn’t give a shit.

He liked the challenge.

Your head lifted subtly,

A weird feeling washing over your whole body.

He chuckled, softly kissing the place connecting your neck and shoulder.

The fresh air outside suddenly wasn’t enough for your lungs. Everything felt hot.

Too hot.

You were fidgety and he noticed, as always.

He just smirked against your soft skin, he absolutely enjoyed tormenting you this way.

You breathed out, your hands automatically resting on his shoulders for support.

,,Then what’s gotten into you that day?” the words left your lips in a breath.

,,Why can’t you just leave me alone seongje?” Your tone was weak.

Desperate.

He froze.

His head lifting up slowly before he was looking at you again.

Studying every little micro expression your face made.

A smirk curled up his lips,

,,You should probably go to school, baby.” His eyes scanned your whole body, before he let you out of his grip.

You didn’t fight his words, your mind was clouded from the lack of answers he gave you.

If only you knew.

He’d seen what happened that night.

And jae was currently lying in a hospital bed because of it.

the night of the incident:

He was in his usual arcade spot, the daylight long gone.

While you were outside drinking your struggles away, he played his usual match of league of legends.

But then a guy came to him.

Seongje didn’t turn, didn’t speak.

Just didn’t acknowledge the guy at all.

,,S-seongje, there was some trouble in our streets, some guys harassing a girl, she was probably drunk,” He mumbled his words out, before he continued,

,,They made a lot of noise, probably good to check them out, before they drive attention towards our spots.” He finished his sentence.

,,Show me the footage.”

Seongje finished his match.

The blue victory flashing on his screen.

He turned in his chair,

The footage was boring.

Just another drunken mess.

Another problem he was ready to hand off to someone else.

Until he saw you.

His jaw clenched.

The room suddenly felt smaller. He replayed the footage.

Once.

Twice.

A group of guys, and you.

The one with the hand around your throat, he knew him.

A humorless laugh left his lips,

,,Go.“ he said, shoving the phone back into the guy’s hands.

,,I’ll deal with this one.”

He was already moving before he had time to think.

Heavy footsteps clashing into the ground, his breathing quick with fury.

Seongje didn’t know where they exactly were. But since it was a bunch of dumb motherfuckers he expected to hear them.

Loud fuckers.

He was right.

Five minutes hadn’t even passed before he heard them.

He clenched his fists.

His pace faster now.

Then he saw them in an alley, they were talking about something seongje didn’t catch.

He just walked straight ahead, not stopping in his tracks.

,,Who the fuck are y-“ jae didn’t even finish his sentence when a punch landed in his stomach.

He whined and held the spot that seongje hit.

But he didn’t stop there.

He grabbed a fistful of jae’s hair and slammed his head into the brick wall.

The other guys tried to fight seongje, but failed miserably.

The rest took one look at him and ran.

Seongje just breathed out, taking his cigarette pack and putting one of the cigs in his mouth.

,,Fucking annoying..” he mumbled looking at jae.

He towered over him, jae barely conscious opened his eyes a bit.

Fear lingered in them.

Seongje smiled.

,,You enjoy harassing women?” his tone was completely detached.

He crouched with a smirk plastered on his face,

And then he punched again.

And again.

And again.

Until jae was barely recognizable.

Then he took his phone out, his breathing still rigid from the adrenaline.

And took a photo of the bloodied body lying on the pavement.

He tucked his phone back into his jeans.

Took his glasses off, wiping the blood off of them into his black shirt.

Then he started the walk back to his apartment, unhurried as ever.

The door to his apartment creaked along with the the keys landing on his counter in the kitchen.

Sweat coated seongje’s skin, the smell filling the room.

He took his windbreaker off, tossing it onto the floor.

Then his black shirt, only his chain on his upper body remained now.

He undid his belt, the leather lazily hanging on on his waist now.

As he undressed completely before he went in the shower, he just muttered “fuck” under his breath.

Even though he beat up a guy moments ago, he was pissed as ever. Your eyes kept flashing in his mind.

The water was boiling. He needed to feel it.

He couldn’t fucking stop thinking about you.

He was like a fucking 13 year old boy going crazy over some chick.

His hand wandered off to his dick, he breathed out.

One hand on the wall,

his eyes closing,

He started pumping his dick, the thought of you being under him on your knees got his dick twitching.

His arm was propped up against the wall up to his elbow, and he rested his head against it for support.

,,Shit–“ he breathed out, the noise filling the steamy room.

His mind kept creating scenarios of him fucking you, his dick just sliding in.

You were so wet just from his words and fingers.

How wet would you be if he actually fucked you?

How loud you’d actually be if you felt him inside of your soft cunt? You were so fucking beautiful when you were falling apart under his touch.

He was irritated at the fact that he couldn’t pound into you right now.

Your cunt just welcoming him so sweetly, soft noises escaping your lips.

His pace got quicker.

Seongje’s jaw tightened.

The way you whined under his touch,

the taste of your lips,

How the fuck did he get here?

He was achingly close, just doing whatever to make him finish now.

All of the frustration settled in his dick,

His tip was swollen and red, his thumb grazed over it,

He growled.

The image of your wet cunt and your furrowed brows as you came around his cock was his undoing.

,,Fuck, fuck–“ he almost moaned those words.

Thick sprouts of cum just falling onto the tiles and disappearing with the running water.

It took him a few seconds before he gathered himself again, brushing his hand through his wet hair.

He just chuckled to himself,

This is becoming a problem.

[ikigaidao]

Pt.4, Pt. 5

summary: you owe him. For what?—let’s just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

content: strong language, power imbalance, alcohol, harassment

word count: 1365

On the way home you were almost running. You tried to get home as fast as possible without breaking down on the street.

What the hell was your life?

Everything was chaotic. Your body felt like it didn’t belong to you anymore.

You unlocked the front door and locked it behind you again.

Then you just stood there.

Staring at the window few steps away in the living room.

Tears prickled in the corners of your eyes and you desperately tried to make sense of tonight.

It was supposed to distract you from him.

But it ended up being him.

Again.

You wanted to disappear into your room and never exist outside of it again.

But there was another part of you that refused to cooperate.

You liked him.

You liked how he made you feel.

And you hated what it did to you afterwards.

The thought made your stomach turn, so you brushed it off.

Yo were exhausted.

Confused.

Frustrated.

You changed into your pajamas and crawled into bed, the sheets smelling faintly of vanilla and laundry detergent.

The comfort of it hitting your senses.

Your mind wouldn’t stop.

You needed out.

The problem was there was no out.

You know what he said and when seongje says “do as i say or ill ruin your fucking life”you’ll do it.

He might not beat women,

But the psychological warfare was far worse.

As you got up the next morning, you saw it was raining.

Nice.

You loved the rain, it was comforting for you in a way. You opened the window in your room and the sound of drops falling echoed in your ears while the smell of rain hit your nose like a freign train. You smiled,

But then you opened your phone.

New message,

From seongje, of course.

A sigh escaped your lips and you opened the chat.

asshole: princess, tomorrow.

: do i come to the usual spot?

You just pretended nothing ever happened and everything is the same. You tossed your phone on the bed and went to the living room.

You turned the TV on, but you didn’t really see anything.

Your mind kept drifting off to whatever happened between you and seongje.

The whole day was a mess. You couldn’t focus on anything.

You were clumsy, things fell from your hands.

Eventually it started getting late.

You turned on your alarm.

Took a shower.

Once you blow dried your hair and brushed your teeth, you laid down.

After the horrors of the weekend, you finally fell asleep.

School was it’s usual bullshit. Tests, gossip and more tests. On the lunch break seongje finally answered to your message

asshole: 8pm, usual spot.

Something about his tone seemed off.

Your stomach twisted at that.

You let out a frustrated breath and put the phone down.

,,Y/N what’s wrong with you lately? You’re barely ever here mentally, like hello.. i need to tell you gossip,” she was shaking with you now, which earned her a laugh from you. ,,fucking finally, jesus.” She just rolled her eyes in a playful tone and continued,

,,You know that Wolf guy? The one i told you about, im not sure if you remember..”

oh you do know that guy.

,,Yeah, I remember, beats up people and tall?” You played it off nonchalantly,

,,Yeah, that one. Today he was seen with some girl,” your grip tightened around your cold water bottle ,,probably some delivery girl that works for him. He was messing around with her, you think he’s actually into someone?”

She was totally amused by the whole situation which was, of course, valid. If you didn’t know seongje like you knew him you would be in shock as well.

At least in a different kind of shock.

You were sick.

,,What.. do you mean? Messing with her? I thought he was just psychotic mafia or whatever typa guy.”

,,I mean messing like.. messing. He was touchy, nothing too extra, but still. She was pretty as fuck too. Oh my god I think im actually jealous.” She was giggling now, not paying attention to the so called gossip anymore.

Few people talked to you at school.

You couldn’t remember a single thing they said.

The moment you were walking out of cram school it hit you.

You were never special. He was never just into you.

How could you fucking let him do what the fuck he did. Tears started streaming down your cheeks. You knew seongje is an asshole and you don’t take shit he says seriously, but it still hurt your feelings a bit.

Whatever, life goes on.

You were waiting, it was few minutes past 8pm and that’s when you heard footsteps.

You turned around.

His school uniform was still on.

No backpack tho. Cigarette between his lips and smoke curling around him.

He was a step in front of you now, stopping. His shadow loomed over you.

,,You just take this, instructions are on it.” He mumbled nonchalantly while taking a drag of his cigarette.

You were absolutely baffled at his attitude towards you.

,,O-okay..” you nodded and took it.

He started walking away.

You stopped him, holding his sleeve.

His head turned a bit, then he turned around completely, just measuring you with his eyes.

,,Why do you pretend like nothing even happened between us the other night? Im not pissed off at you for anything else besides the fact that you act like this now.” You looked at his cold eyes,

He smirked.

Of course this was amusing to him.

,,Because you’re the only one acting like something happened.” He looked at you like you were stupid. You brain didn’t even know what to think anymore.

,,What exactly were you expecting?”

He tilted his head,

,,Flowers?”

What the fuck.

You were so stupid. So stupid to even consider the fact that he could..like you in his own fucked up way.

A humorless laugh escaped your lips.

His completely detached eyes never left your face.

Your legs started walking on autopilot, you purposely nudged him in the shoulder to at least stupidly punish him by that.

He stood there.

Turned around to look at you walking away.

His smirk never left his lips, but something inside of him twisted.

You didn’t go home. You went to some corner shop. You bought soju, a lot of it actually.

Then you just sat down on the edge of a curb. You drank one bottle,

Then second,

Third.

You were wasted now.

You stood up and stumbled from the impact.

As you were walking, halfway home, you heard laughing.

It was pretty late, almost midnight,

At least you think.

Your steps got quicker, your muscles tightening with a bad feeling.

The guys were following you.

They got closer and closer,

You got more and more anxious.

You turned around the corner, without looking, you stumbled into a tall body.

It was one of the guys.

Jae.

,,Well, well…” he smiled, ,,What you looking so tense for, love?” His hand lifted and he tried to brush a strand of your hair,

You snapped his hand away.

He grabbed you by the neck. ,,The fuck you think you’re doing?”

His tone was toxic, full of bad intentions.

,,I just wanna go home, i had a rough day.” You mumbled your words out half wasted.

,,Oh, you’re drunk?” He turned to look at his guys.

They were step away from you now.

Your poor intoxicated mind didn’t even register how fucked you were.

,,What are we gonna fucking do with you after that little stunt you pulled at me in school, hm?”

They all laughed.

Okay, you have to do something.

Anything.

You kneed the guy holding you between his legs,

Then you ran.

They chased you, just cursing you off.

You fiddled with your keys,

Wrong key.

,,C’mon..” you mumbled to yourself.

Finally, the right key.

You unlocked it, looking behind you for the last time.

They weren’t far.

But far enough for you to let out a breath of relief.

You shut the front door of your apartment. And you broke down.

Completely shattered.

Everything was too much, you had no peace.

You won’t go to school tomorrow, you need at least one day off.

[ikigaidao]

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4

summary: you owe him. For what?—let’s just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

content: violence, drinking, smoking, strong language, mature themes, slight smut

You had a plan to go clubbing today with one guy you knew.

Since it was saturday you could get relatively drunk and be out late tonight.

You ordered some take out food and ate it while watching TV—it was nearly 7pm.

Your que to start getting ready.

You put on a nice black bra with black thong.

Then you put on a black dress that had a hint of black glitters littered on it.

It smelled like fresh laundry, so you decided to put on some perfume too–

Wrists.

Neck.

And cleavage.

You smelled like cherries and your hair had a lingering smell of expensive vanilla.

You decided to put on bolder mascara to highlight your lashes and you put on a lipgloss.

Nude one, just to spice things up a bit.

The club you were going to was one of the more popular clubs near your neighborhood.

The hype was so huge because there were prison-like bars separating different parts of the dance floor.

You brushed through your hair and decided to leave your hair loose.

Black purse, carried your gold marlboro, ID, and cash just in case.

Front door clicked shut.

The night has begun. And you had no idea what’s about to come.

You met with the guy. He paid for the club tickets and bought you a drink.

He was two years older– 21.

He was pretty.

Pretty enough to distract you for a few hours at least.

He was a friend of your best friend. She tried to set yall up.

She succeeded as you can tell.

The music was blaring through the speakers, there were red lights all over the place.

People crowded every corner of the club, dancing, drinking, shouting over the music.

It was so hot in there, but you were too far gone to care at the moment.

Few people looked sick, one girl was crying. Her mascara smeared all over her face.

Your vision was starting to blur.

Ah, your favourite part.

You stood up.

Your dress sliding below your ass, you grabbed the guy giggling now.

He didn’t fight it, just letting you drag him near the bars.

You danced for what felt like hours and then you started making out.

He grabbed your waist and swayed with you to the rhythm of the bass.

Someone stumbled into you and you turned around–

And you saw him.

He froze the second he saw you kissing that guy. Your pretty head had no idea he witnessed it.

He was delivering a package, stolen phones. As per usual.

As he was leaving he saw you.

With him.

Your mouth against his. His hands all over your waist.

The cigarette between seongje’s fingers burned quietly.

Then he smiled.

Which somehow looked worse than anger.

Your drunk mind didn’t catch up to what was happening.

One second the guy was kissing you.

The next, seongje walked up to you two, grabbed him through the bars,

And slammed him hard against the metal. The sound echoing in your drunken mind.

Only a quiet gasp escaped your lips, then you looked him in the eyes.

He turned around.

Leaving you behind the bars with the guy he’d just knocked the senses out of.

Your legs were moving on their own. You were fucking mad.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

This is the second time he ruined your night somewhere.

He wasn’t hard to follow. He wore his usual bright orange windbreaker.

Thank god he wore it this time.

Your vision was hazy. But you managed to stumble out from the club.

Seongje didn’t even turn around, he just walked with purpose now.

,,Seongje!” Your drunk voice echoed on the busy street.

His head only turned a bit.

He heard you.

But he walked anyway.

,,Fuck this..” you mumbled and decided to run for it.

You eventually caught up to his lazy pace. Breathless you spoke ,,Wh- why did you do that Seongje?” Your gaze never left him. But he didn’t even look at you.

,,Why?” He scoffed,

,,Yeah, what the fuck was that supposed to be?”

,,I was bored.” His tone completely plain now.

,,Bored? You were bored!” your voice came out louder now. ,,So you had to hit specifically my date!”

He didn’t respond.

Okay.

You shoved him with your hand. He stumbled almost visibly. You caught him off guard,

,,Fuck’s sakes..” he whispered losing his usual cocky composure, before you could even process what was happening, he was dragging you into a bigger shop on the street.

Drunk people brushed past you, reeking of alcohol. Your eyes barely adjusted to the brightness,

,,I’m not buying anything Seongje, let me g-!”

,,Oh, I’m not either.”

He was holding your wrist.

Of course.

You were in the back of the shop now, storage rooms and a bathroom. He looked up thinking for a second and then he dragged you to the bathroom.

The door clicked shut and suddenly you became too aware of everything around you.

There were mirrors.

Flickering light and purple led lights, probably to make sure there would be some light if the flickering one stopped working.

The air was humid.

You were hot.

His breathing was heavy, he stared at you, while you were leaning against the door.

The silence was louder than any bass in the club.

Then he took a step towards you.

Smell of his cologne and cigarettes hitting your drunken senses even more.

You breathed out, staring at his neck to avoid eye contact.

He didn’t like that.

He brought his hand up to your jaw making you look at him.

Your gaze darted between his eyes.

They were blown wide.

,,I don’t understand. Why are we here?” Your voice came out softer than you thought.

,,Smart in school, yet completely clueless in real life, hm?”

His gaze turned to your lips.

Then back up.

Your heartbeat was insanely fast now.

,,I…was I supposed to deliver a package tonight?” You were whispering now.

He watched your lips pronounce each word.

Then he scoffed, looking at the ground.

His hand rested against the door, next to your head now.

,,You know..” he mumbled, but there was hesitation in his voice.

,,Seongje..what?” You breathed your words out.

,,You need to stop saying my name like that.” He ran his hand through his hair for a moment humorless laugh escaping his lips.

,,Like what?” You may sound stupid but everything was spinning in the best way possible right now and your thinking was slower than usual.

You genuinely didn’t have any idea.

,,Like you want me to do something stupid.”

He leaned in, you could feel his hot breath now.

Your thighs closed together.

Hands clenching the hem of your dress, your body was reacting on its own.

He noticed. Of course he did.

,,Does this turn you on?” He was amused now.

,,Seongje…I should go.” You whispered.

Even though you said that you didn’t move an inch.

,,Okay,” his head leaned closer almost as to hear you better.

Heat pooled in your lower stomach.

Your faces were almost touching now.

Breathing quickening, then his hand grabbed your hip. You yelped in the most whiny tone,

He was going fucking insane, he thought.

This isn’t like him, he never loses control like this.

Yet here he was letting himself beat up a guy just because he saw you with him.

Now he was here trying to not cross a line neither of you could come back from.

Part of him hoped you’d just slap him and run out.

Would’ve made it easier for the both of yall.

But the night had other plans for the both of you.

His hand was holding your hip with bruising force, your core shamefully clenched at that.

This was completely different than any of the guys you were with. They could fuck you senseless yet nothing felt as good as just Seongjes hand on your hip.

You almost fucking moaned at that.

Might’ve been the alcohol though..

,,Y/N..” his voice came out hoarse. And something inside of you snapped hearing him say your name like that.

It felt like hours since you’ve been here with him.

And then it happened.

His lips landed on yours.

You barely registered it before you started kissing him back.

It was punishing.

Desperate.

He breathed out between kisses praying you didn’t fucking hear it. Seongje grabbed your cheek with his huge hand, inching you even closer to him.

You whined, your hands held his windbreaker, his mouth moved to your jaw kissing you,

Then your neck.

Shit. This was bad.

Yet you couldn’t stop, and neither could he.

He started placing kisses on your neck before biting it.

You moaned.

,,Fuck,” he said against your neck.

Your body unwillingly grinded against his while he kissed your neck. You could feel his growing tent in his pants against your inner thigh.

You were fucking wet already.

,,Tell me-“ kiss. ,,to-“ another. ,,stop.” he licked your neck.

The room felt suffocating now.

Your skin burned.

Your body was screaming for more,

All you managed to say between breaths was a pathetic stop that you obviously didn’t mean.

You were clinging onto him.

The he grabbed the back of your thighs and picked you up. He carried you to the sink, your ass sitting on it now. Your legs were wide open and he was standing between them.

If only you could see yourself the way he saw you right now.

You were flushed. Breathless. Squirming and shaking. Your lips swollen and red from the kissing.

He can’t stop.

Smell of sweat and perfume filled the room alongside the tension between both of you. The purple light hit his features perfectly.

He is beautiful, you thought in the heat of the moment.

,,Please..” your breathless voice came out before your brain even allowed it to.

He smirked.

,,Please what?” He tilted his head,

,,Please stop?..” now his lips were against your ear,

,,Or please continue?”

You didn’t wanna answer it, instead you grinded against his dick.

He breathed out.

Looking back at you now, he snapped his hands on your hips, turning you around. You could see the reflection now.

It was erotic.

Your hair was messy, lipgloss smeared around your lips. Hickeys on your neck.

And he?

His chest was rising up and down. Eyelids heavy.

,,You’re gonna watch everything i do to you..” he said as he looked at your dress now.

Tortuously slow he bunched it up. Leaving you exposed in your black thong.

His jaw tensed.

,,Was that for him?”

All you managed to do was put on a pained frown on your face.

His eyes darkened,

then his hand slowly rested on your throat. His touch moved slowly down, enough to make your stomach tighten. Then he stopped above your thong.

You whined quietly.

,,So needy..” he mumbled. Looking at his hand in the mirror.

Then he cupped your cunt through your panties.

You choked on a moan.

,,Fucking dripping already,” his tone was low. Animalistic.

His eyes locked on yours in the mirror.

,,didn’t even touch you properly. Yet you’re melting for me already..”

The air was humid. Cold air breezing through a small window at the other wall. You breathed out.

And then you heard footsteps.

Someone was coming here.

He growled, annoyed.

You fixed your dress, but his hand was already tugging you into a bathroom stall.

He locked it.

Then he looked at you.

The footsteps got louder with a soft pull of the door, you heard giggling. Heels clapping against the dirty floor. They were fixing their makeup probably. But with their arrival, it hit you.

What you were doing,

where you were.

You got sick.

And he noticed.

Seongje just smirked, not even feeling bad.

His pride just swelling with the way you let him touch you—the way your body gave in every single time.

You had no idea you had the exact same effect on him, he genuinely couldn’t stop.

After a minute or two they disappeared into the night again along with the smell of alcohol and cheap perfume.

You turned and quickly unlocked the door. He didn’t stop you, he let you go.

Your eyes filled with tears you didn’t want to let fall down.

What did you do?

taglist: @jeonmochi99-blog @luvnarra

[ikigaidao]

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt. 3

summary: you owe him. For what?—let’s just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

content: slowburn, sexual tension, smut will be later in other parts, toxic dynamic, strong language, violence, smoking, mentions of blood, power imbalance

On the way home you tried to gather yourself up.

You were breathless, leaving his apartment.

You shoved the package into your backpack along with the address and time.

It was on friday, 8pm. That’s tomorrow.

It would be dark, you didn’t really like that, but you had to do, what you had to do.

Your body had a mind of its own at this point.

The moment you got home, your bag hit the floor beside your bed.

Your head kept replaying whatever the hell happened again.

You always told yourself you wouldn’t let him get near you or get under your skin—but he always found a way. Clawing his way inside of you, whether you liked it, or not.

Lately he’d been pushing it—

You were lying in bed, nothing had to be done anymore so you tried to turn your brain off.

You kept tossing around, thinking of him involuntarily.

Refusing to even consider the possibility that you still wanted him as much as you did two years ago.

Pure denial crawling up your helpless mind and body. You probably had to have some fucking destructive kink at this point. Well, at least your body did.

Your tense muscles ached and with that you managed to fall asleep slowly.

You were brushing your teeth currently just in your bra, brushing your hair as well.

Just multi-tasking your way into getting out of your apartment as soon as possible, so you wouldn’t be late.

As you were walking to school you saw someone fighting in an alley,

,,Shibal..”

You knew that voice—

Seongje.

You stopped, he didn’t see you. Too busy smashing his fists into some guy you didn’t know.

He grabbed his head by the hair and yanked him into the wall.

The guy whined on the ground from the impact.

Seongje adjusted his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose.

Then he noticed you.

Breathless. Adrenaline still clinging to him, that stupid smirk he always wore on his face.

You didn’t even realize you were standing there holding your breath the whole time until he started walking towards you slowly. Like there wasn’t a bleeding guy on the stonecold ground.

Usual cocky look still on his face,

,,You’re nervous again”

He clicked his tongue,

,,Cute.”

Your eyes kept flicking between his.

You didn’t know what to say. He was studying every micro expression you made, which made you even more nervous.

,,I should probably go..” you just mumbled quickly, your breathing turning uneven now.

,,Mhm,” he slipped his hands in his pockets,

,,You probably should.”

He brushed past you. The smell of iron and cigarette smoke lingering in the air—leaving you with the clear view of the bloodied guy in the alley.

You stood there frozen for a few more moments before your body finally started cooperating with you again.

Your legs carried you to your school.

Quick steps,

Mind still clouded from the interaction.

The image of the guy on the ground barely breathing, all while he was unbothered to even look back.

What else would you expect from him, right?

,,Yah, Y/N, you with us?” your friend nudged your arm clearly noticing your mind was elsewhere.

,,I’m sorry, what were you saying?” you apologetically smiled and listened now.

,,There’s a video that totally blew up this morning,” she said unlocking her phone to show you. ,,That guy.. what was his name? Wolf, he beat up one guy from the class above us. Total jerk that was walking around like he owned it here.” She kept talking about it, but your mind stopped the moment she said this—Wolf.

You didn’t even notice someone was filming it.

Must’ve been before you appeared because the video ended and you were nowhere to be seen.

You let out a breath of relief,

,,See? It’s insane. Nobody dared to fuck with him and now he’s gonna be walking around the school with a black eye and broken nose.” She giggled and put her phone down.

,,Who is this wolf guy anyway?” You asked pretending to not know exactly who she was talking about.

,,It’s some gangster from the other school. He’s so hot but totally psychotic. I don’t even think he ever actually showed any emotions on the videos i saw on twitter of him. Just the cocky smirk” She leaned in continuing to talk. ,,I think he’s actually insane, but fuck he’s so tall, right?” She was whispering now and you ,,Yeah.. seems like it.” pretended to be completely unbothered by him being dragged into your school life now as well.

You had cram school today. Meaning you were staying until 7pm in school. That was actually working out perfectly for you because you could drop the package off.

It was near a corner shop you knew. Sold some ramen and other stuff you’d buy in a convenience store.

You were supposed to meet specifically behind it so people wouldn’t directly see.

It was around 7:20 as you were leaving cram school. You’d be on the spot in no more than 20 minutes, which was perfect.

You needed to buy some soju to calm yourself down.

It was getting dark, the sun setting. Your quiet steps lead you towards the front door of the shop. You paced around trying to pick out the soju and you ended up taking a few cans of cola as well.

You didn’t bother to buy a bag, carrying the soju in one hand and the pack of the cans in the other.

You turned to the corner where the alley was.

Dark as shit.

,,Fuck my life..” you took a heavy breath as you tried to open the soju in your hand.

You fiddled with it for a moment before you finally opened it. ,,Bingo.” You quietly praised the moment.

You took a sip.

Then another.

And then the whole bottle was empty.

Didn’t even take you 5 minutes, the alcohol slowly creeping up your system.

It was 7:58—suddenly you heard heavy footsteps.

A tall guy. You couldn’t exactly see before the lamp hit his frame.

There’s no way.

It was the guy from the video. Black eye, angry steps.

He stopped, looking you in the eyes.

Then he smiled.

It wasn’t the kind of smile that made you feel safe. No. This was different.

,,You’re that fucking bitch that watched me get beat up this morning huh?” he stepped towards you and your body took a step back.

,,You know.. i thought my day was shit, but fuck, this made it all better.”

He took another step.

Your back hit the brick wall.

,,I’m just delivering your shit.” Your voice sounded weak. Too weak.

Something about him made your stomach tighten.

,,My shit?” He scoffed literally tearing the package away from your hands. ,,Did you enjoy watching me? Enjoyed talking with that motherfucker?” he had his hand on the wall beside your head now, leaning in.

,,I didn’t. I did not. I don’t even know him..” you backed your head as much as you could against the wall.

,,Surely didn’t look like it, hm?” He breathed completely invading your personal space now. ,,I bet he’d be real pissed off if I played around with his delivery girl..” he took a strand of your hair now, putting it behind your ear. You snapped his away.

That made him mad.

,,You fucking bitch—“

,,Having fun?” you turned your head immediately relieved at the sight of the so familiar glasses he always wore.

,,Without me?” He was coming closer.

The guy backed off without a blink of an eye,

you took a deep breath now looking at whatever was about to go down.

,,What? No words now?” He smirked now standing next to the guy.

He took his cigarette out.

,,Look it’s a misunderstanding. We were negotiating–“

Flicking the fire.

Smoke leaving his lips.

He scoffed. Leaned in, while his hands were in his pockets,

,,Didn’t look like it.” He just smiled. But his eyes turned mean.

He was mad.

He breathed out, partially just annoyed at this whole inconvenience to him.

,,I don’t like it when someone fucks with something that belongs to me.” He looked him in the eyes.

There was a pause, the guy backed off.

You were holding your breath. Again.

You couldn’t even feel your legs at this point.

There was a moment of silence.

Then the guy just mumbled some words you didn’t catch,

In the blink of an eye a fist flew right in his other eye this time.

Impact making him fall to the ground.

Seongje just put on an annoyed expression, kicking the guy for the sake of it now.

Completely humiliating him in the process.

,,That’s where you should stay.” He chuckled, his gaze turning to you now.

Your heartbeat jumped. You backed off into the wall again.

He was towering over you now. Looking you in the eyes.

,,Your breathing’s fast..”

His finger traced the pulse on your neck.

Your gaze flicked towards the guy still lying on the ground, before you looked back at seongje.

,,Thank you.” You whispered.

You were genuinely thankful. Because god knows where it would go if he didn’t show up.

,,No need. Just checking up if the transaction went well.”

He smirked,

flicking off the rest of his cigarette onto the ground.

You rolled your eyes at his response, scoffing quietly. The strange hypnotic spell he seemed to always put you under finally falling.

You turned and started walking away, only to hear footsteps behind you.

For once he followed you.

Casually, of course.

The two of you walked in silence, the noise of the city filling the space between you.

After a few minutes, you finally frowned.

,,Why are you walking with me? I don’t need your company you know.”

You kept your eyes away from him, not wanting to see whatever expression he was making.

A chuckle slipped past his lips.

Your head snapped towards him immediately.

,,What?”

,,You obviously do need my company.” He pulled another cigarette from the pack, smoke curling around his lips moments after.

You frowned at him, your jaw tensing.

He was so incredibly annoying.

,,You tense again, baby?”

His tone mockingly condescending.

,,Stop calling me that.”

You sped up, but his hand wrapped around your wrist instantly.

Always the wrist.

,,Walk next to me.”

He tugged you back to his side.

You hated how your body reacted to his touch.

The way your breathing quickened. The goosebumps rising along on your arms.

,,Always so eager to leave,” he murmured, taking a drag from his burning cigarette.

,,trying to escape the inevitable?”

,,Yeah and what’s that supposed to mean?” You said as he finally looked at you again.

,,The need.”

He kept staring in your eyes. Stopping in his tracks alongside with you.

,,You don’t think I notice?”

Amusement lingered in his eyes.

You frowned slightly, genuinely confused now.

,,What do you m-“

,,Your body.”

He stepped in front of you, lifting his finger beneath your jaw until you were forced to look at him.

The smell of cigarettes lingering on his skin immediately clouded your senses.

,,It reacts to me.”

Your breathing turned uneven. Heat brushed through your body too fast.

You blinked rapidly.

,,See?”

He whispered in your ear.

Then just like that, the tension snapped.

He started walking again, leaving you completely disarmed in front of your apartment building.

,,Have a nice night, baby.”

And with that, he dissapeared around the corner.

Lazy footsteps fading into the night alongside the smell of his cologne.

You were hot.

Sweating even.

You quickly unlocked the front door of the apartment building, not slowing down until you finally shut the door to your apartment behind you.

Your back slid against the door as you sank to the floor.

He is getting under your skin.

You knew it.

And somehow you couldn’t do anything about it anyway.

,,The need…” you scoffed quietly, replaying the interaction in your head.

Thank god it was finally the weekend.

You pushed yourself up and started undressing for a shower.

The bathroom door clicked shut behind you before you stepped under the hot water.

Water slid down your skin, slowly washing away the lingering smell of smoke and cologne he’d left behind.

[ikigaidao]

Pt. 2

summary: you owe him. For what?—let’s just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

warnings: strong language, rough sex and degrading (these two not yet ;))

You woke up the next morning. Kinda hangover, but nothing too bad.

You don’t even know, how you made it home. After the little charade back at the bowling you went straight home—didn’t care about Jae and his broken nose, you did not wanna deal with that yet—the explaining.

You had an image to keep, a status even? You weren’t exactly a popular person in school, but still nobody knew you did some kind of stuff that you occasionally did.

No one ever found out, you had your ways to sneak around.

Tomorrow was school so you had to think of a plan, it was really annoying.

Jae was few classes behind yours in school. Made it really difficult to avoid a conversation you would love to avoid, but can’t.

You went on with your day—cleaning, watching TV for a while and then studying. That’s what you’re doing now.

You tried to learn some of the maths, but your head kept spinning back to the encounter you had with Seongje—how did that even happen? You promised yourself you would never. Ever. Let yourself loose like that again. You had a certain disgust towards him—towards what he did. ,,Come on..” you mumbled as you were just drawing random shapes on the paper with your pen.

You scoffed and leaned back on the chair, looking out the window now— ding ding—your phone buzzed. You took it immediately staring at the message,

asshole: tomorrow, after school. Might even wait outside for you.

Fuck,

-do not. I will be at our usual spot.

asshole: 3pm. Sharp.

Okay, good. You finally let out a breath, tossing your books in your bag before collapsing onto your bed–slowly you drifted off.

Morning and most of the day were the same as usual. Nothing interesting happening until lunch. Jae—of course. He was headed your way. You were talking with your friend in the hallway, ,,Y/N would you mind? It’ll be a second.” You just nodded, silently apologizing to your friend and she just rolled her eyes smiling.

He lead the way to some corner next to the stairs— ,,Look, what the hell was the other night? Where were you after? And why do you even know that guy?” He just spit the questions out on you and you knew you had to explain or he’ll keep digging until he actually finds out.

,,Look Jae, I don’t know the guy personally. I saw him a few times when i was out, yes. But that’s all. About where was I.. i had to go home,” you said firmly ,,Not like that’s any of your bussiness though.” You just scoffed, ,,Nice nose you have by the way..” you smiled and turned around—walking away from him. He just stood there trying to gather some of the few things you said to him, you were never really a sharing type of a person. But something wasn’t clicking.

It was almost 3pm, you packed your stuff and headed towards the school gates—that’s when you saw him.

Orange fucking windbreaker.

Of course he’d wear something like that.

You sighed and sped up.

He was in a black car, some bmw—you hurried to him and opened the door, sitting in the passenger seat. ,,What the hell are you doing here! I told you to go to our usual spot! What if people saw you,” you looked around, worried someone put two and two together. He chuckled.

You were so cute when that mask of yours slipped and you let yourself loose.

,,I don’t care who sees us.” he fixed his glasses,

,,Saw our little friend earlier,” he tapped his finger on the steering wheel.

,,Still looked a little upset about the nose thing.” He tried not to burst out laughing and you just rolled your eyes at his fucking ego. Unbelievable.

But you did find it a little funny—he sure as shit deserved it at the end of the day.

Seongje started the car.

Exhaled and leaned back into his seat.

One arm rested against the open window. The other stayed on the steering wheel.

His legs spread lazily.

,,This task is simple, you take the pills i give you and just bring it to someone union works with,” he glanced at you ,,Can you do that for me?” His voice was barely above a whisper. His annoyingly hypnotizing eyes locked on you,

,,S-sure” you quickly said and turned to your window.

,,Where are we going then?” You mumbled, curious now.

,,My place. Forgot the package at home.”

You turned your head in a “what the fuck seongje?” way.

You’ve never been to his place and you didn’t want to ever visit him. That fucker probably did that shit on purpose to annoy and stress you out—

,,Hey,” he glanced at you.

His hand settled on your thigh like it belonged there.

,,Relax princess.” His finger tapped lazily on your school uniform,

,,Im not gonna rape you or anything..probably wouldn’t even have to.” He chuckled and licked his lips staring at the road again. You looked down on your thigh where his hand was for a few seconds before he withdrew it casually.

,,You wish, Geum.”

He stopped the car,

,,Oh i do.”

The apartment complex looked worn out, nothing fancy. All dimly lit.

,,Maybe we could recreate the first time.”

He leaned closer,

his breath was now on your neck.

What the fuck was happening? Your mind and body were not cooperating.

,,Might even film it again..”

That did it.

You opened the car door spitting “fuck you” out of your lips before shutting the door behind you.

He walked ahead, like he expected you to follow.

Hands in pockets, head down.

Wearing his fucking smirk.

He knew what he was doing.

Every word. Every touch.

It was like he knew you better than you knew yourself. Your body always reacting before your brain registered it.

He pushed all your fucking buttons and somewhere in the middle of all that shit he still had the upper hand and you hated that.

His apartment was plain. No decorations, just necessities he needed to survive.

Bunch of ramen noodles on his kitchen table, cigarettes in ashtray,

,,You done snooping?”

He threw his windbreaker on old leather couch.

Leaving him just in his black shirt and that chain he always wore.

,,I-im not. I was just checking if you had any murder weapons around, just to make sure im making it out alive, you know.” Just giving him a flat look.

,,Are you that afraid of me?” he took the package from the couch.

Took one step.

Then another

Until he backed you off into the kitchen counter.

,,No fuck ups.“ he leaned in,

,,Seriously.” He smirked. His hand taking a strand of your hair out of your face. You snapped his hand away.

,,You’re tense again.” He put on a fake sympathy look,

,,Do i make you that nervous, baby?”

Sigh escaped your lips while you just grabbed the package, not even reacting to it anymore. Heading straight towards the front door.

Just as you were about to open it—

A hand grabbed your wrist, again.

You were getting used to him always hooking his fingers around your wrist at this point.

,,Damn no goodbye kiss either?”

He tugged at your wrist.

You fell into his chest for a moment before you gathered yourself up immediately, taking a step back,

,,For what? Not leaking my nudes? Yeah sure, lets fuck. Like you deserve that shit.”

His smirk never left his face, but you could feel the change.

Wrong thing to say.

His grip tightened.

His other hand snapped behind your neck, dragging you closer.

,,You talk too much when you’re nervous,” you could feel his body heat now.

You gave him a look, fighting the urge to react.

,,Your jaw is tense. Do you have something to say?”

You couldn’t do anything. You felt defeated.

,,I need to go Seongje.” You whispered. Before you could react,

his lips pressed against your collarbone,

your breath stopped. ,,Don’t dissapoint me.” He said before letting you go..

[ikigaidao]

Pt. 1

summary: you owe him. For what?—let’s just say you and Seongje have a history that haunts you to this day.

warnings: 18+, strong language, rough sex, toxic dynamic, degrading

that’s all i think. This will be more chapters, this chapter is not that explicit. Just a lot of tension and getting yall into the plot—enjoy!

You didn’t really know Geum Seongje.

Not really.

You knew the tasks.

The random things he made you do here and there.

Nothing too dangerous. Nothing that would actually make you one of them.

You weren’t part of the Union.

And you never would be.

How could you?

You were the last person anyone would expect to be involved with people like them.

Straight A student. Always at cram school. Never causing trouble. Never giving anyone a reason to look twice.

But everyone had their secrets.

Yours just happened to be ones nobody would ever guess.

One-night stands.

Smoking.

The occasional drink.

Nothing insane.

Nothing that would ruin your life.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

Your parents trusted you. They cared about one thing more than anything else.

Your grades.

As long as you came home with another A, they never questioned where you went or what you did.

And maybe that was why you got so good at hiding things.

Because nobody ever looked deeper.

It started on another one of your usual nights.

Your one-night-stand type of night.

You weren’t looking for anything serious.

You never were.

Jae was just someone who was fun enough for a few hours.

That was all.

Except tonight, he wanted to go bowling.

And you really didn’t want to.

Not because you hated bowling.

Because you knew exactly who spent their time there.

The Union.

And the last thing you needed was to run into Seongje outside of the tasks.

The less he knew about you, the better.

The less he saw, the safer you felt.

But Jae wouldn’t stop.

,,Come on, I insist. I’ll buy you whatever drink you want.”

And unfortunately for you…

That worked.

You could tolerate almost anything with enough alcohol.

He was attractive.

You couldn’t deny that.

But he was boring.

The type of attractive that everyone noticed but nobody remembered.

Not your type.

Still, he was good enough.

Every few months, when you felt like it.

The problem was that he liked you.

A lot.

Too much.

Sometimes you could feel it, and it made you disappear for weeks.

Months, even.

Because you didn’t know what to do with someone who actually wanted you.

You were walking there, cigarette between your fingers.

Jae was talking.

As always.

,,Have you ever considered quitting this shit? Seriously, it’s not good for you.”

His voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

You looked at him.

,,Like I give a shit, Jae.”

You didn’t need someone telling you what to do.

Especially not a man.

He sighed but didn’t argue.

Instead, he opened the door for you. The place was louder than you expected.

People laughing.

Bowling balls hitting the lanes.

Music playing quietly in the background.

Some people smoking near the side.

A bar was right next to the lanes.

Perfect.

,,Come here.”

You grabbed his arm.

,,I’m gonna need you to fulfill your promise.”

You dragged him toward the bar before he could answer.

,,Hi, I’d like to order two vodka shots.”

You paused.

,,Actually, make that four.”

You looked at Jae.

,,Two each. Don’t worry.” You smiled before turning back.

The bartender only nodded before walking away. You sat at the bar, looking around. For once, you were actually enjoying yourself.

Until you saw him.

Seongje.

He was sitting across the room.

Four guys around him.

They were talking.

Laughing.

But not him.

He just sat there.

Watching.

Like he always did.

People called him Wolf.

And honestly?

You understood why.

He had that look.

Like he was always waiting.

Waiting for someone to give him a reason.

Then his eyes found yours.

Your stomach dropped.

,,Fuck.”

You immediately looked down.

Three seconds.

You waited.

Then looked again.

He wasn’t staring anymore. He was talking to someone else.

But he was smiling.

Smirking.

Of course.

You rolled your eyes.

Him and his fucking ego.

You rolled your eyes.

Him and his fucking ego.

,,Fuck, sorry to make you wait.”

Jae came back, slightly out of breath.

,,There was a huge line for the tickets. People had reservations and shit. Had to pay extra.”

Before you could answer, he grabbed your hand and pulled you toward the bowling lane.

The screen lit up.

The scores were at zero.

You looked at him.

,,Listen.”

He stepped behind you, leaning closer.

,,If I win…”

His voice dropped.

,,You stay until morning?”

You had to hold back a laugh.

He noticed.

,,Sure,” you said, taking the ball.

,,But if I win, we leave early and find somewhere else.”

You raised an eyebrow.

,,Deal?”

You didn’t even wait for his answer.

You threw the ball.

It rolled.

Hit.

Nine pins.

You clicked your tongue.

Almost.

You were getting drunk.

Not wasted–Just enough. Enough that the constant noise around you stopped being annoying.

Enough that Jae’s jokes actually started being funny.

He was still talking too much. But for once, you didn’t mind. You laughed at something he said.

A real laugh.

And that was exactly when you heard it.

,,Here for another task, princess?”

Your entire body froze.

You coughed, immediately turning your head.

Seongje.

Of course.

Because apparently you couldn’t have one normal night.

,,Fuck do you want, Seongje?”

Your voice came out sharper than you felt.

,,Now isn’t the time. I’m here privately.”

The way his eyes stayed on you made your stomach twist.

,,What the fuck is he talking about, Y/N?” Jae looked between the two of you.

You ignored him. You couldn’t afford to look away from Seongje.

,,Privately?”

Seongje tilted his head slightly.

,,That’s why you’re laughing loud enough for the whole place to hear you?”

His voice was calm.

Too calm.

For now.

Jae stepped forward.

,,I don’t care who you are, but don’t talk to her like that.”

You looked at him.

Then back at Seongje.

,,Wait here.”

You walked towards him. You already knew this wasn’t going to end well.

He was taller up close.

Annoyingly so.

He looked down at you, his expression unreadable.

,,Not cool.” You crossed your arms.

,,I’m gonna have a lot of fucking explaining to do now.” Your eyes moved briefly toward Jae.

,,Do I need to explain it right now? You couldn’t just let me have a good fuc—”

You stopped.

Too late.

The look on his face changed.

You barely had time to react before his hand closed around your wrist.

Again.

,,Let go.”

You tried pulling away.

,,No need to drag me around, Jesus. What is wrong with you?”

He didn’t answer.

He just pulled you away from the crowd.

Past the lanes.

Into some empty storage room in the back. The second the door closed, his patience disappeared.

He stepped closer.

You hated how quickly the confidence disappeared from your body around him.

,,What’s wrong with me?”

His voice was low.

,,You owe me.”

You stared at him.

,,You do what you’re told.”

Your jaw tightened.

You wanted to fight back. You always did. But this time, something inside you was tired.

,,I don’t wanna do it anymore.”

The words came out quietly.

Still firm.

Still honest.

For a moment, he just looked at you.

Then he scoffed.

A small laugh escaping him.

,,You…”

He looked away, shaking his head slightly.

Then his eyes returned to yours.

,,You want out?”

A pause.

,,There’s no out.”

Your stomach dropped.

,,You stay with me until I say you’re done.”

The room suddenly felt smaller.

Then he said it.

The one thing he knew would break through every wall you had.

,,I don’t think you want your little tape getting out, huh?”

Everything stopped.

Your jaw dropped slightly.

Your heart sank.

And suddenly, you couldn’t hear anything except your own heartbeat.

The tape.

The thing that followed you everywhere.

One stupid mistake.

One night when you were seventeen.

You were drunk.

Too drunk.

And you didn’t know who he was.

You didn’t know what he would become.

You just remembered stumbling into him at some random club.

And then the bathroom.

And then waking up the next day with a memory you wished you could erase.

You didn’t have sex either eachother. You gave him a head. And somehow that was even worse.

Except Seongje never let you.

He filmed it.

And he kept it.

A reminder.

A threat.

A reason you could never fully walk away.

What you didn’t know was that to him, it wasn’t just a way to control you.

It was the only thing he had.

The only reason he knew you would come back.

Because somewhere along the way, that one night stopped being just a mistake to him.

He remembered everything.

The way you looked at him.

The way you reacted.

The way you pretended you didn’t care.

And it drove him insane.

He didn’t know how else to keep you close. So he chose the worst way possible.

,,It was a fucking mistake, Jesus Christ.”

Your voice shook despite how hard you tried to hide it.

,,Can’t you just let that shit go?”

Your eyes moved between his.

And he noticed. Of course he noticed.

The nervousness.

The way your body betrayed you before your mind could catch up.

A small smile appeared on his face.

,,You keep telling yourself that.”

He stepped closer.

,,While you look at me like you want to be destroyed by me.”

Your breath caught.

,,I don’t.”

The lie came out too quickly.

,,I was just looking around earlier.”

,,No, you weren’t.”

His voice dropped.

,,I saw the way you look at me.”

He leaned closer.

,,Like you think I’m the only person who can give you whatever the fuck is it that you want.”

Your heart was beating too fast.

You hated it.

You hated him.

You hated yourself for reacting.

,,Not one of your stupid boyfriends who can’t even make you cum.” His voice was barely above a whisper. And that was somehow worse.

You didn’t answer.

You couldn’t.

Because he knew.

He always fucking knew.

Then suddenly—

The tension broke.

He stepped away.

Opened the door.

,,I’ll call you when I need you again.”

He glanced back.

,,Enjoy your night with that dumbass.”

A small laugh left him.

Almost annoyed.

,,Maybe you can pretend it’s me.”

Then the door closed.

You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until he was gone.

Your heartbeat was too fast.

Your usual confidence was completely gone.

,,Fuck…”

You stared at the floor.

,,What the fuck…”

You were angry.

Maybe at him—Maybe at what he did.

Or maybe at yourself.

Because there were things you refused to admit.

And Seongje always seemed to know them before you did.

Seongje was already walking towards his table.

Calm.

Too calm.

That was the thing about him. He never looked angry before he exploded.

He just looked bored.

Then suddenly, Jae spoke.

,,You done?”

He stepped forward.

,,You always talk to her like that?”

You froze. The entire world seemed to quiet down.

Seongje looked at him.

Then at you.

And somehow, that was worse. Because you knew exactly what he was thinking.

Not here.

Not in front of everyone.

,,Jae, stop.” You grabbed his arm.

But he pulled away.

,,No.” His eyes stayed on Seongje.

,,She’s clearly uncomfortable around you.”

Your heart sank.

Because he wasn’t completely wrong.

But he didn’t understand. He didn’t know.

He didn’t know anything.

Seongje tilted his head slightly.

,,Careful.”

Just one word.

A warning.

Jae laughed.

,,What? You gonna threaten me too?”

And then it happened.

So fast you almost didn’t process it.

One second Jae was standing there.

The next—

Seongje’s fist connected with his face.

The sound made you flinch.

Everything stopped.

Jae stumbled back, holding his nose. Someone nearby gasped.

And Seongje just stood there.

Like nothing happened.

Like he didn’t just change the entire atmosphere of the room.

Your chest tightened.

,,Seongje.” You whispered his name before you even realized it.

His eyes moved towards you.

And for a second, you saw something different.

Not anger.

Something darker.

Possessive.

,,You should’ve listened.” His voice was quiet. Almost disappointed.

Jae looked back at him, shocked.

,,You’re fucking insane.”

Seongje only wiped his knuckles against his jacket.

,,Maybe.”

Then his gaze returned to you.

,,But she knows better.”

That sentence made your stomach twist. Because he was right about one thing.

You did know better.

You knew exactly what Seongje was capable of.And that scared you more than anything.

Later, when you thought back to that night, you wouldn’t remember the music.

You wouldn’t remember the drinks.

You wouldn’t remember the bowling score.

You would remember the sound of that punch.

And the way everyone looked at Seongje afterwards.

Like they finally understood what kind of person he was.

A wolf.

Exactly like everyone said.

[ikigaidao]

summary: Han su-gang, your bully, that you hated so much… but did you really?

warnings: smut, rough sex, non-con but shes into it lowkey, degrading

posting this again..

Han su-gang. You hated him. He made your life a living hell alongside his stupid friends that only laughed at your suffering and the way he humiliated you.

Another day- another beating? Humiliation? Empty words just to make you shake with fear?

You weren’t the only person he bullied, it was almost the whole school. He came in and sometimes his eyes landed on you for a few seconds before he moved his sight to someone else just to fuck with them.

So many nights you spend fearing for the next day and what’s gonna come. You tried to make sense of it sometimes. It felt different, when it was just you and him. Sometimes he would take you to another classroom telling his friends he was gonna beat you up so much. And he did.

But strangely it felt different when you were alone.

There was a lot of weird fucking tension.

Or maybe you’re just delusional.

„Listen Su-gang I- I can explain I can do something, anything please just don’t–” You always begged. He’d just stare at you and then smirk.

The empty smirk you hated so much.

He walked up to you.

One step.

Then another.

You moved till your back hit the wall.

He was inches away from you. Whispering in your ear like you were another one of them.

Another one of his dumb little fuck toys.

Like he didn’t bully you every fucking day.

„Anything..huh?” He just chuckled implying exactly what you thought.

„I didn’t mean it like that.” You whispered not moving an inch.

He looked you in the eyes, faking offense.

Jerk.

„Why not? You whore. I bet you secretly dream about me anyways”

What did he just call me?

Before you could even think about any consequences of your actions you pushed him of off you.

And you ran.

Ran like hell.

You opened the door and you ran till you were out of the damn school you hated so much.

Meanwhile without your knowledge su-gang stood in the classroom having enough of this.

He kept lying to himself he just bullied you specifically so much, because you were annoying.

Disposable.

Easy target.

You never really dared to do anything, but you also weren’t acting like a little bitch…sometimes you did, when he pushed it too far.

He would never admit to anyone, not even himself, the many nights or just quick breaks in the bathroom, where he jerked off at the thought of fucking you.

Why? He asked himself. He never really made any sense of it and he didn’t plan to as well.

He didn’t do feelings or love. But he did fuck, like a lot. No one could get him off as well as the thought of you though.

When you came home it was late afternoon.

You sprinted to your room, before your parents came home and just undressed from your uniform into comfortable clothing.

You sat on the bed and kept replaying whatever the fuck happened once again.

„Why the fuck do you keep taking me somewhere private more often..” You murmoured to yourself as you changed the side you were laying on.

Little did you know the growing issue your bully had with you.

It was getting late and you watched some new k-drama that came out, you stopped the show and turned off your laptop heading to your bathroom for a shower.

On your way to the shower your phone buzzed. You opened it and saw a text from your dad.

dad: sorry honey, ill be home really late. Make it up to you next weekend?”

You didn’t reply. Just sighed.

It was always like this, your parents fought, your mom got mad, your dad had to fix the mess and then go work extra hours. You just got used to it at this point.

You opened your door to the bathroom undressing and turning the shower on waiting a bit for it to turn hot. As you were one foot in the shower your phone buzzed again.

„C’mon dad..” You took your foot out and came to the sink again. When you looked at the message you froze.

This can’t be happening.

This isn’t real.

unknown number: thought i would pay you a visit after our little interaction in the classroom to make sure my little whore was okay. Open the door. Now.

This is a fucking joke right? What the fuck were you supposed to do now? Pretend youre not home? How did he even get your number? And adress? You turned the shower off standing there for another minute—ding ding

unknown number: you have two minutes before i break the fucking door and drag you by the hair outside.

You dropped your phone, panicking. You quickly threw on your crop top and pajama pants. Fuck, you’re literally naked. You ran quickly to your bedroom across the hall and threw on a zip up hoodie to at least cover your nipples that could be seen through the white top.

You ran to the front door of your apartment and unlocked the door literally freezing in the doorway at the sight of him. You looked at him, he was wearing his green bomber with his perfect fucking tie, hair styled with his empty look. He looked you up and down and then poked his tongue in his mouth.

You just covered yourself more „What do you want? Why did you come here? How did you even get inside?”

You stumbled out the most important questions that you could possibly think of in this very second.

„So many fucking questions, kitty cat..”

He pushed through you and welcomed himself in your apartment taking the handle of the front door and closing it.

Locking it.

You just watched him as he looked around the apartment, hands in pockets and small smirk plastered on his face, then he looked at you. Like really looked, it wasn’t as empty for a second and you noticed it. You didn’t mention it.

„I had to pull a lot of strings to get here, though you don’t look as happy to see me hm?” He took a step forward—closer to you.

You just watched him not knowing what to really do. You nervously picked skin on your fingers.

„I asked you a question.” He tilted his head, clearly enjoying seeing you so uncomfortable and unsure what to expect from him.

„I.. I um.. what do you want from me?” You kept your voice down looking him in the eyes.

That was the only weapon you had left to use.

Eye contact.

You couldn’t do anything else to stand up for yourself, so at least you did this to pretend you weren’t fucking terrified of him and had some power over what was happening.

„I just.. show me your bedroom.” He said coldly.

„What?..” Hopefully it wasn’t what you were thinking.

God, please may he not rape me.

„Show me your bedroom, now Y/N” hi tone was more stern now.

You just nodded slowly, guiding him towards your room. Before you could turn around you heard the door being closed.

When you looked back you saw him walking towards you, not really quickly but not slowly as well.

Just enough so you were caught off guard.

You backed off a bit, but before you could miss him completely he put a hand on your throat—not choking, just holding enough to make breathing harder. Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth to say something, but he cut you off.

„I hurried here. I didn’t punish you for slapping me and yet you still seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that if you were anyone else you’d be dead right now.” He whispered in your ear.

You could feel his warm body against yours. Your face tingled when he whispered that to your ear. All you could think about was how your body started to react.

And how fucking wrong this is.

„I’m sorry” you whispered, he moved his head to look you in the eyes and you could hear his breathing.

You almost believed he wasn’t alive when you we’re in school. You never heard his heartbeat—you only knew his cold gaze.

Now you did hear it though. Finally.

„I noticed the way you look at me..you want me to fuck you hm?” His head got even closer to you, moving to the side just waiting for your response.

What? What the hell was happening.

You never ever allowed yourself to acknowledge the fact that you did find him attractive in a way. Like a lot.

You also never acknowledged the fact that when your fingers were inside of you, sometimes your mind wandered off to the thought of him being the one doing it.

You never allowed yourself to think about it after. You clearly had some fucking issues and you didn’t wanna deal with that.

„I-Im.. what are you talking about su-gang?..” you breathed out without realizing. Immediately regretting not controlling yourself more.

He moved his hand to the bottom of your throat and let the hand rest there, while his other hand reached your jaw near your ear.

„I bet if I reached down between your legs right now, you’d be soaked.” The words left his mouth in a calm tone. He had his usual confident smirk of his while saying all of that to your face.

Your breath hitched but you managed to answer quickly

„No.. I wouldn’t. I’m not.” You looked up at him your breathing getting faster now.

He noticed everything. Every little reaction you had.

Well, more like your body had.

He knew you hated that you wanted him to fuck you. And he hated he wanted to do it.

He moved his right hand from your jaw slowly, to your chest, your stomach and he stopped on your waistband. He looked you in the eyes.

„Fucking desperate.” He just said as you looked at him already looking completely fucked out just from this.

He kept playing with the waistband till he decided you were desperate enough and his hand slid down to your panties. He put two fingers on your clothed cunt.

You whined, unaware of your body’s reactions.

You hated yourself for that.

„Liar. You’re soaked..” he couldn’t hold his own breath.

He was already painfully hard seeing you fall apart in front of him.

,,I haven’t even touched you properly yet..” he was looking down between your legs. Then his gaze turned up to your face—your lips.

Then back to your eyes.

All you managed to do was watch this all unravel. Your body was obviously not cooperating with common fucking sense you should’ve had.

,,Su-gang.. no—“ you tried to push him away with the last bit of logical thinking left in you, but his grip at the back of your throat was too strong.

,,Uh-uh, you don’t get to run away now and pretend you’re not letting your bully touch your soaked cunt..such a slut..”

The tension was never ending his fingers just resting there, provoking. Not doing enough, but also doing just enough to feel it—feel how your cunt clenched around nothing.

And then his fingers finally moved. He put them to your clothed hole, soaking.

,,Fuck-“ He breathed out without even realizing, hoping you didn’t hear.

You did and you whined at it, creasing your brows.

He suddenly flipped both of you around, holding you by your throat.

Your back hit the locked door. You just cursed under your breath at the impact and looked up at him. He was loosing it, you could feel it and maybe of you looked for long enough, even see it.

He looked…animalistic. Like he had only the last bit of strenght to hold back before he just turned you around and fucke—

He threw your stupid hoodie off and looked at your chest under the thin fabric of your top—he grunted. Then his lips crashed on your throat.

Not romantically.

Not with care.

Just with need that has been building up for weeks now.

He was hungrily biting down on your neck. Unfortunately for you, it felt so good.

Too good.

You moaned his name out.

You hated yourself for letting that slip out.

He chuckled and put his lips near your ear—

,,That’s right. Moan my name while i make you feel the best you ever had in your life..slut.”

Your breath hitched again.

His hand cupped your breast and slid down between your legs again, he just rubbed his fingers.

You were whining and buckling your hips up—your body unknowingly begging for more.

He was like a predator. Waiting for his prey to start begging to be eaten alive. His fingers eventually sped up and the room was filled with your moans and whines.

Then he stopped.

And pulled his hand out.

He backed out in front of you putting hands in his pockets as he chuckled and looked at you.

God he wanted to take you right now right there. but he knew to savour.

You whined at the loss of contact, gathering yourself up a bit even though your cheeks were flushed and your hair was a mess, hickeys all over your neck still throbbing from the pain.

,,Why.. why did you sto-“

,,Beg for it.” He came closer to you looking in your eyes knowing how humiliating it already was for you and he, of course, enjoyed it.

You just looked at him your mouth opening to say something.. but what? What did you even wanna say right now? That you don’t want it? Or that you were wet because you were thinking of someone else and this was basically rape? You wanted so badly to lie to him just as much as to yourself for wanting this.

,,Beg me for it. Beg me to make you cum, because i know you want it to be me so bad. You were soaked just from me doing that..so needy hm?” He teaced your jaw ,,Didn’t even put my fingers inside of you.. then his finger made you look at him.

,,I’m not gonna..beg you for it n-no.” You mumbled out.

His hand was now on your neck and his face got even closer.

He cupped your breast his other hand sliding down again making you moan out already because you were so sensitive. He was biting your neck and licking it with his tongue

,,Now Y/N, or ill stop and tell everyone what a slut–you are–letting me touch you like this..” He kept saying in between his kisses, it was all too much.

Your pride was gone the moment he slid his finger under your panties and just stopped there torturously.

Fuck it.

,,P-please, please su-gang.. just touch me already i need it” your eyes were watering from the humiliation, which turned him even more

,,Fuck..” he tore your clothes off in seconds and slid his finger inside of you in one rough thurst.

He wasn’t slow. He was fingering you so fast you couldn’t even breathe properly. Just a mess of moans escaping from your mouth.

He slid another finger. Pumping them in and out of you in an insane pace.

You felt your orgasm coming.

,,M-m close.. im gonna– s–stop..” Your walls clenched around him.

As you were about to reach your peak he slid them out of you.

His fingers coated in your slick fluids.

He just started at you darkly licking his lips.

,,And who told you..you could cum?” He said tilting his head.

,,I- i thought…”

,,Mmm you thought..” he lifted his hand putting the two fingers that were pumping into you moments ago, on your bottom lip.

,,Open.” His gaze turning to your eyes for a moment and then back to his hand again. You just lightly opened your mouth and his fingers immediately slid in your mouth. You choked because he was shoving them so deep.

He was breathing so fast it was taking all his strength to not moan already at the sight of you sucking your own juices from his fingers while tears streamed down your cheeks.

You were so humiliated at how easy you made it for him.

It turned him on even more.

He just growled and turned you around. Your cheek hitting the wall as you let out a startled moan. Your pants were buckled down on your ankles in moments and you heard his zipper.

,,Su-gang..” you whispered unable to keep your body still.

,,You need to stop saying my name like that.” He breathed out pulling out his throbbing dick.

,,You wanna be fucked so bad mm? You wanna feel me inside of you? Shit.. I don’t even know if you deserve that…fuck it.”

He thursted in you—no warning. No gentlesness.

You screamed out.

He didn’t move. Just grabbed your hair and yanked your head up. His other hand landed a harsh slap on your ass.

Stinging.

Then another.

And another.

,,That’s for thinking you can just push me and run away, bitch.” He whispered out of breath his jaw locking tight.

You just choked out a moan ,,Please.. im sorry- im so- sorry” you could feel the tears coming as he kept slapping.

That will for sure leave bruises later.

Then he moved.

You couldn’t handle it anymore whimpering and squirming under him. He thursted in and out of you in such a torturous pace it was stealing the air out of your lungs.

,,Shit– such a whore– just taking it– so pathetic.” He couldn’t even form full senteces in one go as he kept the pace.

,,Needed me to fuck the disrespect out of you, hm?”

One hard thurst.

You cried out from pleasure and the stretch.

,,Fuck– you’re practically sucking me in.. a-are you that desperate Y/N?” He was holding your hip harshly and kept slamming into you.

Again.

And again.

And again.

,,Answer me.” He grunted, angrier now.

,,I-i’m- fuck- please.. i need it.” you couldn’t think properly just saying words, completely gone from the pleasure you felt.

,,Fuck– fuck–“ He moaned out already far gone too otherwise he would never allow himself to.

,,S-sugang gonna..gonna come, Fuck–“

He kept slamming into you feeling you clench around him, fucking loosing it himself.

,,Gonna cum all over the dick you’ve been daydreaming about, huh?” He said taking his other hand and putting his fingers inside of your mouth.

,,Such a fucking desperate slut.. fuck– just– dripping on my dick.” He was breathing out every word. Each word sending sparks through your body.

You felt the pressure building up in your lower stomach.

Suddenly he quickly turned you around and started choking you out.

Not completely.

Just enough for you to start loosing vision, only fueling your pleasure more.

,,Open your eyes.” He barked at you.

You barely managed to keep your eyes focused on him as he was slamming into you with such a strong force.

,,I want you to look me im the eyes as you come on my cock. Sh-shit—you hate me so much now Y/N” His half open eyes from pleasure sending daggers through you.

All you managed was to moan his name and he grunted in response. His pace even faster now.

You couldn’t hold it anymore the pleasure was too much.

Electricity sparked through your whole body, your vision turning white. You choked out a high-pitched moan.

This was it for him.

He slammed into you one last time so deep, and emptied himself into you. His cum dripping from your cunt onto your thighs.

He just let out a frustrated moan and put his forehead on yours, licking his lips.

You didn’t even catch your breath properly as he was already tucking himself in leaving you against the door. Your legs were shaking and your cunt filled with his cum.

Shame twisted low in your gut.

What did I allow him to do..

He turned around and just chuckled poking tongue in his mouth. You slid down sitting against the door.

He just kneeled in front of you and took your jaw to make you look at him.

,,Thought i started bullying a fucking loser. Turns out you’re just as fucked up as any of us.” He stood up.

,,Move.”

You listened. Just moving out of the way completely wrecked.

He opened the door, but before stepping out he turned to you again just saying ,,This isn’t over.”

And just like that he left.