Alice Spencer @iknowitallbyheart - Tumblr Blog

Tabitha slunk down from the scaffolding, which was certainly not a common occurrence. She always preferred higher places over ground level. No one could sneak up on here there.

She went and sat by Alice, toying with her hair. Her demeanor was gentler than the usual snarky attitude, and she sighed.

Still thinking about him, Alice?

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Alice slowly blinked herself out of her stasis , not something anyone in the underground wouldn’t be used to , she’s always like this. Instinctively , she glanced up , expecting the ever appearing and disappearing Tabitha to be in her usual spot in the ceiling.

Her face scrunched as she found nothing , looking back down and jumping from a light fear. She’s never really seen the girl on the ground , much less on her cot and so close. She fiddled with her skirt hem.

Have you ever found me not to be ?

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Tabitha raised her eyebrows at her point, leaning back on her hands and crossing her legs, always catlike.

I suppose not.

Grief and guilt are extremely potent emotions at first, and she knew that fact well. Loss plagued those children’s lives in a near constant fashion. It made her remember how she felt when.. well.. that happened. She sighed.

You two grew up together, didn’t you?

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He’s been my.. dearest friend since forever…

Alice stopped herself from saying “only” , she didn’t know if Tabitha and her were friends and really , she wasn’t in the mood to offend. Especially when the other was the only one she could fully stand down here.

You’re touching ground.

She spewed something quick , wanting to get another sentence out before her mind tried dragging her down into her ever immersive memories , zoning out would not serve the conversation well.

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Tabitha looked down at herself, sitting there, her feet on the ground. Oh. Yes she was on the ground. She shifted her legs up onto the cot, uncomfortably. If only those damn landmines hadn’t taken her s—

She shook the thought away as quickly as she could.

I am.

She spoke softer than usual. Perhaps talking to Alice was worth sitting so close to the ground for. She thought of her as a friend, anyway. Everyone else? Well, it was fun to push their buttons sometimes but Alice seemed to be the only damn one she had some hope for.

Isn’t that strange? The world’s gone mad, I’m on the *ground*.

She teased, forcing one of her pained smiles.

I assume you don’t feel like *talking* about *him*.. changing the subject?

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Alice watched Tabitha’s actions , then her own. Tabitha was still oh so tabby , meanwhile she sat with such bad posture , scabby legs resting at an awkward angle , so unAlice like. Mother would’ve been disappointed if she were here.

The world *had* gone mad , not like her beloved land , mad as in wrong.

I’m hardly myself either. I suppose we’re both mad.

It was meant to be reassuring , to herself or Tabitha she couldn’t decide. Though she figured Tabitha could reassure herself , she wouldn’t need it from this girl-ish thing Alice was.

She opened her mouth to say more but found nothing. Of course , she’d want to talk about *him* for eternity , she’d never run out of things to talk about. But Tabitha wasn’t down here to hear her ramblings and she didn’t want the singular time the other was face to face with her on *just* Alfred. Her heart burned.

Is that so wrong ?

It did feel wrong , she wouldn’t admit it.

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Tabitha chuckled, shifting her weight, and leaning her head on Alice’s shoulder, just a comforting gesture. If she were really Cheshire Puss, as Alice has associated her before.. by now she would be purring softly next to her. This was extremely out of character, but she was already on the ground, wasn’t she?

Everyone needs a little madness, to be able to carry on down here, but..

For once in her entire time here, her tough and uncaring facade seemed to crack. She no longer smiled. She used to be able to forget about her losses. She used to be able to fend off whatever horrible thing was commented about her or however she beat herself up for allowing herself to be alone in the world. She used to be able to manage herself.

But, with Alfred’s death and Alice’s grief almost made it all that much more real. No one was entirely safe, not even down here. Even she was beginning to lose herself.

I think this sort of mad is… harder to come back from.

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Alice tensed , just for a moment , she’d never expect Tabitha to this.. solid ? She always imagined that if anyone touched her , she’d poof into thin air. It was just her Aliceness taking over , always expecting the normal to be unexplainable.

She settled but didn’t move much , not wanting to move too suddenly and make Tabitha slink back up her scaffolding. It did feel nice , she didn’t get much touch aside from the occasional Dodgy sprawling his dramatics too far. Tabitha was warm , not warm like the overcrowded humidity of this place , instead it felt comforting.

Gosh , she needed to hug somebody.

It is hard to come back from losing your head…

Her references were like a reflex , some part of her mind clinging to something passed.

The rest of us don’t seem far from it.

She forced a joking tone , her voice wasn’t up for it.

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Maybe Tabitha needed the contact too. The last contact she ever had with anyone was the Red Cross Nurse gripping her by the wrist to try and get her to come down from the scaffolding the first day she’d arrived here. She was insisting it was too dangerous at the time. Well look who won out.

She remained there, quite a moment. She was acting like she planned on staying there for a while. For now, didn’t even seem to glance back at her usual perch.

When she spoke, her unusually soft tone continued, but there was an edge of frustration.

What are we to do, then-?

It almost turned into a louder hiss near the end.

It’s funny, isn’t it? Soon they’ll be nothing left! No god to save us or..

Her voice softened again. Right, she let the real big emotions show, no big deal..

..anything.

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Alice carefully rested her head on Tabitha’s , she meant for it to be a light lean , one that’d let her catlike friend escape if needed , but her body betrayed , having her melt the moment her cheek touched hair. If she closed her eyes , she could pretend the vibrations from tabby talk were purrs.

She scrunched her nose , immediately regretting her thought as though Tabitha could’ve heard it. Honestly , she wouldn’t recover from the embarrassment if she had.

Isn’t much to do about it now.

Her voice faded to gloom as she glanced over the others bunkering down here , dirty and miserable. She watched their heads detach from their shoulders in the midst of their goings on and float up , all bumping into the ceilings and each other. The Clarissa head complained at the Dodgy one , him rolling his eyes.

No one to bring them back down , no matter how their bodies clambered around. At least her old head had company.

Is there ?

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It took a moment, but Tabitha slowly came down from her bout of frustration. She sighed softly when Alice rested her head on hers, almost like it grounded her more. She didn’t make any attempt to escape, just resting there.

…Well, this is nice… despite all of that..

She was saying this mostly to reassure herself, bring herself to the present. She looked at the ground once again, from her spot on the cot. Her feet remained pulled up beside her, and logically she knew she should be able to touch the ground, but she couldn’t bring herself to..

She glanced to Alice’s face, like she could see the cogs in her head moving..

What are you imagining, Alice? Describe it to me?

She said it soft, genuinely curious, unlike when anyone else said it, with such distain, as if implying the daydreaming ought to stop. Maybe Tabitha needed to think about something else.

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Alice blinked , though the imagery didn’t leave her like it might’ve when she was drawn out of reading , it lingers. It was typical for her current state , dreams she didn’t want fighting for her reality. The others down here were certain to snicker , make their clucky comments.

She made a small hum of acknowledgment of the first sentence but it didn’t seem like it made much passed the layer of dream. Not fully understood , just clearing a small hole for the question.

Everyone’s heads have detached themselves , they’ve all floated to the ceiling. Clarissa’s squabbling with Dodgy over his body still holding her stolen earrings.

The old Nigel head snickers as he always does. He’s young enough to not worry , a new head might do him well.

A few cots down , nosey Nigel , head fully attached , does actually snicker over this conversation. Always the eavesdropper , nothing new unfortunately.

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Tabitha chuckled, smiling a little bit.

Really? That’s quite a dream..

Of course, the worry that the girl was too far gone into madness was certainly still there, but she supposed this one was harmless. A waking dream, but harmless? Maybe it would even help Alice make it through this hellhole. If it got any worse she may have to tell the Nurse about it.. but at that point what could they do?

When did these start, hm? When Alfred.. left? Or before?

Her tone shifted as she spoke, her concern showing just a bit more. Her arm ended up going around her shoulders. Maybe it would help her in some way, as well..

And then, as soon as she heard Nigel snicker, she hissed in his direction. Not per-se a cat hiss, but enough of a sharp noise to discourage the boy’s behavior..

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Alice watched the heads for a few more moments before she blinked again , the dream gone , heads returned to their shoulders.

Quite…

She’s avoided telling the nurse anything , she’s made it this long without the tyrant knowing of her scabby knees , or burned arms. She didn’t want to deal with the doctor babbling latin at her like she was supposed to be cured by knowing her problems. God only knew what he’d say over her dreaming.

I’ve always been like this.

She didn’t view this madness , as most would call it , as something to be concerned of. Surely just dreaming couldn’t be so bad. If it was , Alfred would’ve been of concern too. He was like this before all the bad…

She settled more into Tabitha , not her full weight , but enough for both of them to be solid. She looked at the snickering mouselike boy as she hissed , meeting eyes as he switched to the look of a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar , scurrying off to who knows where to bother some other poor soul.

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Tabitha found her gaze moving to the Nurse and Dr. Butridge, who were quite loudly trying to communicate something simple. Considering the man’s hearing, it might be a moment before they stopped yelling. Right. That quickly reminded her why they ought to be left out of this.

Her thoughts quickly returned to Alice, though, as she heard her reply.

Always? You’ve always seen things like that?

Her eyebrows knit slightly, in even more worry.

And you’re seeing it, right? Not just… picturing it?

She didn’t let go of her, though. She was enjoying the contact a bit too much for that.

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Mum always said I had quite the imagination.

Alice could admit that even her mother did show concern once she reached thirteen and still saw the imaginary , though her worry geared more towards her needing to be more mature than any mental issue she may or may not have. Alfred would always get twice the lecture from his own mother. It was only storybook stuff , after all.

She let a small snicker slip.

Of course I see them , how else would I know they’re there ?

She didn’t quite know what to do with her own arms , should she also wrap an arm around Tabitha ? Would she even like it ? Her arm twitched as if she was going to , but she folded her hands in her lap instead.

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Tabitha blinked. Obviously she did not find that as funny as Alice did. Her jaw clenched slightly. She had a lot of questions come into her brain in that moment: “You know those seem to be hallucinations? That’s not normal!” Or “Has no one ever bothered to actually figure out what those were?”

Once again, she would never be this concerned with anyone else in the bunker. Hell, Alice was the only person she really cared about since her sister.

Despite all the questions that flitted about in her mind, the only thing to come out, in her same hushed tone, was this:

You.. do realize that not many other people see the objects they imagine, right? I don’t believe that’s entirely just imagination.

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I know others imagine differently , my imagination is just vivid. I’ve seen it in books before !

Alice didn’t match the tone of the situation , not being serious and almost silly. Like it was silly to imply her imagination was different. Sure , those books from her once beloved library may have been a bit outdated but how wrong could they truly be by now ?

Of course , the bleed through reality and her books were odd at times. She thought of a month or so ago , when the duchess had found her way down here. She knew it had been imagination gone wild but that was a typical thing to happen to young people , even as old as she is now.

Not so distantly , seems just above , alarms rung. From her train of thought , Alice mistook it for an unseen rabbit’s ringing watch for more than she’d like to admit , it only took a second of glancing for the creature to realize.

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Tabitha noticed the noise immediately. Oh no. Oh no no no- she shouldn’t have come down to the ground. She shouldn’t have come to the ground and now she’ll be down here when the whole damn place explodes she needs to go back up she needs to do something that—

Under your beds!

The Red Cross Nurse cried from where she had been speaking to Dr. Butridge. The ground was shaking beneath them. There was a scramble for gas masks and the chaos of most people ducking for cover all around them, but for a split second Tabitha couldn’t move. She felt one larger shake, which snapped her out of it long enough to suddenly grab Alice by the shoulders. With a slight groan, she made an attempt to pull the girl with her down under the cot, before god knows what happened..

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Admittedly , Alice was planning on simply riding it out , she’d always done it when she first got here and nothing more than a bit of dust in her hair or on her book had happened. And so , she wasn’t entirely expecting to be yanked down. She gave Tabitha a look of “what was that for ?” as she hit the ground before she registered the absolute look of fear in her eyes. She’d never seen lesser than an annoyed expression or more than that cheshire smile from her and something about it made her realize that she should follow suit.

She crowded under the dingy cot , the cries of Nigel for his mum and Harold’s screaming to “evacuate the trenches !” almost took background to her stare that glued to Tabitha , almost bewildered. Once again , she had no fear of doom that others held , as she’s focused on the state of someone else. Besides , Churchill said the underground was going to keep them alive.

Ground , or really ceiling , shook , small bits of rubble littered across the platform and select cots. Eventually alarm faded , the earth stood still once more. The once was blaring replaced with complaints and cries of disgruntled bunkers.

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Tabitha had almost curled up into herself, as though she was a feline once more, as the world shook around them. Her face remained visible though, her stare wide and filled with terror. She heard nothing of the others, and her eyes remained locked with Alice’s. She hasn’t processed the expression Alice had, either.

Once the shaking stopped, she tucked her head down into her knees, which were pulled up to her chest. She tried to steady her own breathing, but she couldn’t seem to. What came out only sounded like a sob. She was mumbling something to herself through tears, so much so that it couldn’t be deciphered what she was saying..

Suddenly, she reached her arm out, just trying to pull herself from the floor and maybe head back up to her scaffolding just so feel a little safer and then—

Crack!

A fairly large chunk of the ceiling, concrete and tiles, landed right where Tabitha was about to pull herself, clattered to the floor, and shattered. Tabitha jumped back under the bed once again.

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Alice flinched , snapping out of her stare and covering her face with her arms in time to block most shattered pieces from getting to her , not much more than being coated in dust and perhaps a few minimally bloody scratches worth of damage to her forearm thankfully. She didn’t give it time to settle , immediately looking up to check on Tabitha , injury or panic , both concerned her.

Nurse Cross , along with a few other station nurses , moved to clear the chunk away. She was sure one of them was asking them something or telling them off but it felt so distant from her. She glanced for damage on what she could see in the dim light , her ears rung but that could wait.

She didn’t think Tabitha would move soon , but staying crowded under such a small cot didn’t seem helpful either. If they did come out , the poor girl was sure to run back up to the ceiling. She didn’t want her to leave and there was doubt that any nurse would let her get away with going up there too. She took her hand , hoping to be a little comfort.

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Tabitha didn’t seem hurt much, the sleeves of her jacket seemed to block most from damanaging her arms, only a small scrape on her forearm from a flying tile. She made no more attempt to escape from below the cot, but she looked up, at Alice again.

She blinked slightly, as she noticed the few scratches Alice sustained. It took her a second to snap out of it, but she managed to speak.

..Are you alright? Anything hurt very much-?

She mumbled, gripping her hand shakily and a bit too tight. She seemed nothing like the snarky girl making snide remarks from her spot above anymore, just afraid. Afraid of the world above, but also afraid of being alone. So, she remained there.

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Alice hadn’t fully noticed her injuries till Tabitha said something , even so she only glanced at her arms , small lines that barely added to her scars and scabs from the old before. Not much to be worried about even if she knew nurse was going to blow it out of proportion as she always did. Though they did sting from the dust that powdered her arms.

She held no fear of what had just happened to them , no matter how shaken she should be. Her head was shockingly not up but under this cot , focus on Tabitha.

Are you ?

She held her just as tight , being able to assume the answer was a no. She didn’t plan on moving until she was eventually dragged out by nurse or one intent on being a nuisance. She was relieved to see that she only had the small scrape , likely not even something to use up bandages on. Tabitha was still breathing , though a little fast than what’d be healthy , as long as she still breathed.

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…I’m fine-

Tabitha managed, with a hiss that seemed to imply otherwise. She forced herself to steady her breath. She turned her arm around, at the small amount of blood that dripped from the scrape. She wiped it with her thumb, and that was that.

When she finally evened out her breathing, she shifted under the cot, like she was thinking of leaving and going back up, but she still didn’t. Alice was down here and for now, she liked that. Her brow remained furrowed, her mouth turned down. She still hadn’t entirely settled.

Perfectly fine..

She shifted a bit closer, like she wanted to feel a little more protected, maybe.

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Alice’s eyebrows furrowed , she could tell Tabitha was lying , but really , how could she help more than she was now ? Her book couldn’t make anything disappear anymore , it didn’t help with Alfred. That was even if it could , she didn’t think she would want to fall with her. She hoped that tile didn’t damage the book further , it still sat up there. She almost wanted to grab it.

Should she move closer as well ? Hug her and make this cramped space even more cramped ? Tabitha wouldn’t possibly let her… she could picture the snickers and whispers of their fellow pioneers if she did , knowing how they were. They could’ve already started , those who sat down on the tracks would have a pretty good view of them unmoving.

You’re sure ? Truly , I could help.

She couldn’t leave her to just lick her wounds clean- no , no. This couldn’t be the time for catifying the poor girl , this was time to stay.

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Tabitha nodded, stiffly. She was okay. Well, she wasn’t, but she wouldn’t admit that now. She took another deep breath, trying to make her voice more convincing. She was okay.

I promise, Alice.

She hummed, as she pulled herself away. She, too, had become a bit too aware of the eyes that may be landing on them. She usually didn’t care, but something about the event before left her shaken and vulnerable. After another moment, she finally slid from underneath the cot, pulling herself up onto the cot again, her legs curling up next to her.

Her eyes went to the ornate cover of the book, with its torn pages. It didn’t have all that much left of it, but it was so precious to Alice. She reached over, gently brushing the dust from its surface..

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Alice watched her pull away and slink back up , not sure how to place her emotions on the actions. Surroundings set back in , she felt the eyes , heard the giggling of the pair she couldn’t stand. She crawled out , sitting up on her knees to wipe the collateral from her hair before putting herself on a corner of her cot and wiping the rest from her rest.

A nurse did check the two , finding what she already knew to be there. She bare minimumed her way through the questions asked so they’d leave faster. Which thankfully they did.

She looked to her , rather blindly grabbing for her book. She didn’t fully realize she held it until it was close to her chest , like it was one of her old stuffed animals. She took notice of the lack of dust on the cover while the sides were still lightly coated. Had it wiped itself clean ? No , probably not. Tabitha most likely cleared it.

She racked her brain for something to say , what was she to say ? She’s spent so long being wordless already but she couldn’t have lost her speech , could she ? Offering to read would do no good , she wasn’t Alfred , she could hardly appreciate it in this state.

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Tabitha glanced up to her, before looking back down at the spot in front of her. She didn’t answer many of the Nurse’s questions, as they were coming a bit too fast for her to process at the moment. She tried to maintain her usual attitude with the nurses, cold and annoyed..

When the Nurse finally left them alone, her face visibly softened, as she looked to Alice and her book. She fiddled with her own hands, before taking in a breath, and speaking.

Do you still know it by heart, Alice?

She mumbled and turned her head to look at her after she spoke. Despite its turn, her head sat low on her shoulders. She kept glancing to the ceiling this time, now also a little nervous about something else falling on them.

Would you tell me some of the story?

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Her eyes went alight immediately, despite everything, it was still exciting to be asked of her book when the asker wasn't rude. She looked down at the book, the badly reattached pages that were mixed with drawing from Harold's sketch stuck out of place but still oh so her beloved thing. Her fingers traced the larger pages,

I'm not sure...

Alice said in a whisper. But something about the wrong, the dust, the dog ears, filled her with a sort of feeling unplaceable yet good.

But of course.

She did want to find out how her creatures were doing, that was if she was allowed back. She said some harsh words that last time, for all she knew, the queen had found a way to plug up the rabbit hole, barring any new visitors.

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Tabitha smiled, truly and genuinely smiled at Alice as she lit up when she asked about the book. She noticed how beat up the book looked, but that was okay. They never needed to go entirely by the book, did they? She moved a little closer, once again.

I’m sure you can-!

She chuckled, honestly she wanted some kind of entertainment besides her cats cradle of an old shoe lace, and she supposed this would be the best way to do it.

Thank you..

Tabitha settled herself, ready to listen.

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Alice couldn’t help but mirror the smile , heart so in her throat , she didn’t think it’d ever move back in place. This was her usual reaction to being able to read even after spending the entirety of the past ten years being able to do so.

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank and of having nothing to do: once or twice she..

Words faded , but not completely , it was more like being able to hear a narrator in the back of your head. Dirt and grass grew in until it overtook the cot , a river bank springing up close by. Sure enough , book Alice’s sister was sat right next to her , though she looked like her own sister anyway. Tabitha was plunked on the other side , where an assumed Dinah could’ve been.

So far normal.. she looked up from almost Cathrine’s book , expecting to see a rabbit. None was there.. of course. She looked to Tabitha , hoping for conscious thought.

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Tabitha shut her eyes as she listened to the beginning of the story. There was almost a weightlessness that came with it, like she was in the space between being awake and being asleep..

The next thing she knew, she heard herself purr.

Confused, she opened her eyes, took in the grass surrounding her. She looked down at her hands, which were now paws. Now, any normal person would have panicked at the idea of being turned into a cat by a magic book, but she seemed fairly calm about the matter. It was wonderful to see the surface world again, even if it was fantasy..

She looked back up at Alice. and grinned. Right, still a Cheshire, but a little less obvious about it now that they aren’t in wonderland quite yet. She had a dark brown and black coat draped over her shoulders.

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The sun was rather nice , it made for a hot day but they could see the sun , smell the clean air. This alone could be more wonderful than wonderland. Alice couldn’t help the grin. She was back in her storybook dress , not a hint of scab or dust , nothing of her troubles once again.

Isn’t this beautiful ?

Yes , to Alice’s sister it did seem like she was speaking to the cat but even for book Alice , it was nothing more than the usual. She could see the Tabitha in this cat-person , she knew she succeeded in bringing her. She admired the new coat as she looked to her , something she’d seen before from a richer person she was sure.

Though that Spencer narration continued , trying her best to summon up any rabbit , it didn’t have to be him , just something to run after. Or had she changed the story so much that she’d have to find the rabbit hole herself ? It couldn’t be too bad…

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Tabitha stretched out, as a cat would, basking in the sun. She took deep breaths of the fresh and clean air. It had been forever since she hadn’t been smelling dust and mildew. She ended up laying against the tree trunk, just drinking it all in.

Absolutely wonderful..

Tabitha purred, settling in. She felt a gentle breeze blow through her fur, or coat? She wasn’t sure how exactly she could feel it, but it didn’t matter all that much. The watched as the yellow wildflowers swayed, and she felt the urge to swat at one… so she did.

Hell, she would be happy just to stay on this page forever and ever, but alas, knew they would have to move on eventually. For now, though, she was perfectly happy right here.

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… Alice decided a rabbit could wait. She could stay on a page , the story itself wasn’t trying to progress , why not take that chance. She giggled at Tabitha’s actions , shifting so that a gap in the cherry tree’s leaves would allow light to hit her face. Her eyes closed , chin tilted up to get the maximum she could.

Once every minute they spent , she tried again , slightly opening one eye to look at the book her sister read and listening for movement that wasn’t this little group. Nothing yet. So she’d then switch eyes to look at her cat like friend , she’s never seen such content before. Almost made her feel guilty for trying to read on at all.

Eventually , something came running , not close by like her rabbit but up to her , blocking out the sunlight. She cracked her eye open at first , only for them to both shoot wide open. Before her stood a younger her , about seven , in a similar story dress to her own except hers was clearly homemade. The one her mother had made for her to play in. The two still wore the same hair style , pulled back in a half pony.

‘You’re late ! Come on !’

Younger her used a different region of accent than her own to reflect what they assumed book Alice would use. Alice felt frozen , looking into those young , excited eyes. Younger grabbed her hand , trying to pull her up. She would look between now her and Tabitha , being able to tell she was playing too , wanting them to run with her.

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Tabitha’s eyes opened once she heard the younger girl’s voice. She blinked as she stared between the two of them. Alice.. and younger Alice? If she didn’t think it was a dream before, she certainly did now..

She ran her hands through her warm furred coat, as she processed the sight before her, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open. How was this possible? How could the same person be in two different places at once and-

She quickly expelled all logical thought.. they were in wonderland now! She deserved to have some fun for once..

She stood up, next to the girl, stretching once more. And once she was ready she turned:

Well? She says we’re late. We ought to get going, don’t we?

Tabitha called to Alice, her wide grin appearing once again. She reached out for Alice’s other hand.

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Alice blinked , and blinked again. This little her didn’t disappear , not caring how she didn’t want to be faced with this. She sighed , accepting her fate and Tabitha’s hand , pulling herself up.

I suppose-

Before she could prepare , the small thing ran , pulling her along after what wouldn’t appear.

Really , she was slower than this Alice , she wondered where her energy had gone , eight years couldn’t have been that much on her. And yet she ran , giggling in that squeally prepubescent way. She hoped Tabitha was doing alright with keeping up ,though she didn’t have doubt she was enjoying herself either way. Maybe she could make herself like that.

Her eyes left the other Alice to look ahead , not that she needed to see , she knew where to go , it was ingrained in her mind always. Ahead she saw a shadow of something , small like the one pulling her , maybe a little taller. She found herself running faster , until they got to that bush , that shadow diving into the hole under it with little her letting go to go after it first.

Without thinking , she followed suit , into that opening like she was just as small as a seven year old. Although , a rabbit hole really shouldn’t be that big either. What was she doing ? Questioning her story. The nerve of yourself. She mentally scolded.

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Tabitha followed behind Alice. She didn’t seem to having too much trouble running along. Of course, he smile faltered slightly as she looked to the ground as they rushed along. She kept checking for danger, for bombs, for anything that could kill them of the sort. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be any..

She stopped at the bush, staring down at Alice went before her. She hesitated as she stared down. No, logic. Hush logic. She sat herself down on the ground, before pushing herself off into the oversized rabbit hole.

She, expectedly, had the feeling she was falling, and it felt very real. The wind whisked though her hair and fur, when she finally opened her eyes. The hole was surprisingly well lit.. she looked around and saw all sorts of household objects: clocks, teacups, books, keys-

She looked around, frantically for Alice down there..

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Alice was not too far down , it was a slow fall after all. Though there was no sight of that younger her , or the shadow they seemed to be chasing. As customary , their rabbit had disappeared from the scene , it didn’t stop her from looking for them. Along the way , she reached out and took a jar off of a shelf , an empty jar labeled orange marmalade. She tried to put it back but just missed the shelf. Huh..

She resigned to watching the rest go past there with the jar clutched like she was a wallflower with a red solo cup. Crinkled or burned maps of london , teddy bears with limbs missing , and the like mixed in with the regular furniture and objects. Miles they fell ( was it really falling if they moved so slow ? ) Alice had gotten bored , she looked up to see if Tabitha felt the same but it was such an awkward angle to see anything but her feet.

With a sudden thud , she landed in the leave pile with just enough time to scuttle out of the way for the fellow faller to land. She looked ahead to try and spot their “leader” running through the halls but she saw nothing through the darkness. Were they meant to linger here too ?

Are you alright ?

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Tabitha had her in her sights as she fell. As soon as she saw her though, she smiled widely. She kept glancing around at all the objects falling besides them, and she never seemed bored. She seemed more.. enchanted by it all. She sent a paw toward one of the teddy bears, hitting it just to see if it would fly away like the rest of the objects. To her delight, it did.

Had it been so long since she engaged in childhood whimsy like this?

However, once she reached her arm out, she noticed that her fur coat had turned bright purples and pinks, striping all the way up her arm, and down to where the coat ended at her knees. She looked down at herself and was so distracted by it that she didn’t even notice how quickly the ground was coming and—!

She landed on her feet!!

…Only for the force of her landing to knock her over into the pile of leaves instead. She laughed.

Am I alright? Great god, I’m wonderful!

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Alice covered her mouth with her hand , it not at all hiding her laughing , not that she really did want to. She was allowed to laugh if Tabitha was alright.

This place is wonderful !

Maybe not the long dark hallway in front of them but the experience of being here was just so intoxicating , who wouldn’t feel such joy ? Alice notably didn’t change much at all , aside from a few streaks in her hair that turned lighter , not exactly blonde but as close as she’d imagine. She did quite like her natural hair after all.

She picked up a small handful of leaves , a bit of mischief gleaming in her eyes for the first time in a while , and tossed them at her more Cheshire friend. She adopted a look of innocence immediately , hands neatly folded , as if she did nothing at all.

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Tabitha nodded, wiping happy tears from her eyes. She sat in the leaves a moment, just remembering what a pile of leaves felt like. This was wonderful! And they could have done this all this time? She couldn’t believe that.

It is! And why did you tell anyone you could bring people here before??

She asked, as she began trying to stand up. She brushed herself off, and looked down the hallway, but there was no flicker of fear of it. It everything had been so beautiful so far, what was a little darkness going to do to them?

And then, she got hit right in the face with the leaves. One got in her mouth. She scowled, playfully, as she spat it out.

Oh.. alright- you want to play that, hm?

The tabby bent down, grabbing as many leaves as she could in one hand. She hurled them as hard as she could!!

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I did !

No one but Alfred or her had ever truly believed her so they never got to see what she did , even if they were here in the story. At least that’s how she believed it worked , she wasn’t entirely sure how it did and never liked to question it.

She put her hands out in some childish way to get Tabby to hear her out , which only ended up being a futile attempt of blocking the leaves and turned her head away so it wouldn’t get in her face.

No , I’m innocent-!

Instead some got stuck in her hair , the rest either creating a pile in her lap or rejoining the one she sat on. She couldn’t stop giggling though , as she tried to shake and brush off what she could. She had to suppress the urge to start a leaf war , knowing that something would eventually drag them to the hall of doors , likely her own want to get to Wonderland. She enjoyed seeing this side of Tabitha , she never thought it’d be possible.

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I suppose none of us believed it, then!

She laughed. Tabitha kept on throwing leaves at Alice, over and over, as she spoke. She had a strange talent for it, most leaves at the very least getting in proximity of Alice.

Innocent?? Need I remind you I got a leaf in my mouth?!

Then, she got an idea. She knew that the Cheshire Cat could disappear with only a smile remaining, right? She smirked, and then pointed to the hallway.

What’s that?

She called, before throwing the leaves over her head, and seeming to unravel.. disappearing into thin air. The leaves fluttered down, revealing nothing..

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I’m completely innocent , this is unnecessary punishment !!

Alice sputtered out a leaf that had indeed gotten into her mouth , she didn’t know what she expected leaves to taste of but it couldn’t be this. They tasted almost old , and gross , horrible texture that thing was. The rest of the leaves essentially buried her , she barely had time to retaliate.

What’s what ?

She instantly gave up on removing leaves from her hair to look down the hall , expecting to see one of her dear creatures , impatiently reminding them to keep moving , but she saw nothing. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked back to Tabitha , only to see that she was gone.

Tabitha ?

She tried to look elsewhere for her but there really wasn’t much else to be seeing , they were already at the end of a hall.

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The room Alice stood in was suddenly quiet, with only the small rustles of the rest of the leaves tumbling softly to the floor. Dust fell from the ceiling of the hallway before her. It almost felt like the underground, tiles suddenly noticeable all around her. Multicolored vines wound slowly up and down the walls and seeped into the cracks between them. Maybe those plants were where the leaves came from.

Total silence.

And then—!

Gah!

Tabitha called out, as she appeared right next to her. Her tongue stuck out of her Cheshire smile, nearly screeching laughter escaped her.

I got you!! Look, look!

Her stripes seemed to unravel and fall on the floor, disappearing once again. Only her wide grin remained floating there in the air. It turned, making a small figure eight in the air. It giggled.

Isn’t that lovely?

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Alice stared at everything seemingly new , absolutely bewildered. Was this Wonderland’s idea of change , taking on style choices of the underground ? Her hand raised to catch some of the dust , just to see what it was. It didn’t occur to her that if this was anything other than what it was , her hand would’ve been in danger until after a small pile already rested on her palm. This , at least , was familiar. Wasn’t this from—

She screamed , not top of her lungs but it was pretty up there , almost jumping out of her skin. Which she could only assume was a real thing here and was quite glad she hadn’t. Her hand went to her heart , her briefly folding over in a breath to calm herself.

Tabitha !!

She whined , a smile and soon giggle betraying her attempted pout. How could she ever forget ? Her dear oh dear Cheshire , of course she was. She nodded.

Very lovely.

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Tabitha reappeared in another puff of dust. Whether that was from her or some the dusty room around them, she didn’t know either. She didn’t know any difference yet between what wonderland was and what it is now, but she knew that there was a way out of this room, and that’s perfect for her.

She giggled along with her, before her gaze moved to the dark hallway in front of them.

That child, the… younger you-? She went that way..

She gestured toward the long hallway. She supposed it was safe. But, by the way Alice seemed to interact with it, she couldn’t be so sure.

…What do you think it is?

She thought a second, her eyes tracing the doorway.

Well.. it likely isn’t dangerous if she’s leading us down..

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Alice wiped the dust off her hands and stood up , hand instinctively planting on the wall to stabilize herself as she did , though down here she didn’t need it. The absolute hill of leaves that had been in her lap fluttering to the floor. Once again she had looked down the hall , convincing herself that the hall had always looked like this , since it was usually too dark to see anything but the white fur of the now absent rabbit.

It’s the hall that leads to the hall of doors.

The hall that held the key she once was so desperate for. She supposed it’d still be a useful thing , it’d bring them to the other chapters. She had to wonder if she should skip the chapter with the house , go right to the caterpillar.

Are you well at swimming ?

She asked as she went ahead , suddenly eager to get to the next paragraph and knowing she was supposed to run through the hallway. Sure enough , she saw that little girl just turning round the corner to the next room , seems on track.

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Tabitha nodded gently, her gaze remaining fixed on the hall, but now what was at the end of it. She couldn’t see much from that angle, thought, it was just a corner there. A few tiles had at some point before they arrived fallen from the wall and shattered before them, meaning as they stepped forward the shards would clink almost musically against the ground. A surprisingly lovely song despite the grim look of the room surrounding them.

She hummed in reply, hallway of doors… right. That was the part with the growing and shrinking, right? She thought she remembered, but she wasn’t so sure. She kept following Alice. She knew it all by heart, after all.

Her lips seemed to press together slightly at the mention of swimming.

I… uhm. I don’t much like swimming- but I suppose for the story, I can manage.

Her attitude seemed to reappear for a moment, only for it to fade off again by the end of her answer. She was a cat, cats hate water, and she supposed she’d been casted well in this role.. the Cheshire Cat. She was silent another second, before mumbling once more.

How much water will there be?

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Alice was too far to hear the last bit , probably unfortunately for her , she could use the warning for what’s to come.

Come on !

Her words echoed from down the hall , almost sounding split between giggly young and eager old , but surely that was just the hall playing tricks. Either way Tabitha didn’t have much choice but to round that corner to the round hall of doors.

Although , something did seem wrong once the two stood in the door. The table seemed to be stuck to the ceiling and the doors the wrong way round and- the page was binded upside down. Alice didn’t know how she could’ve missed that. Though ever determined to show the wonders , she stepped onto the ceiling.

Dear dear , Alice said.

She did wonder how they were ever to get out again. The room being upside down did complicate things she supposed. Though couldn’t she simply cry now , or would Tabitha like to experience the growing and shrinking ? Book Alice didn’t even like the experience…

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Tabitha continued on, covering up her nerves by lowering her brow and keeping her lips pressed together.

I’m coming!

She called forward to her, trotting to try and keep up with the other girl’s pace. Only a year older than her and already slowing down? Hah! And then, as soon as she stepped into the room, she glanced around at the ground: nothing. That was strange, but what wasn’t strange here? Finally, she spotted Alice looking up, and it prompted her to tilt her head up as well.

Oh.

She didn’t mean to say that out loud.

But, once again, she followed Alice’s lead: creeping up the wall, albeit on all fours, and making it to stand on the ceiling. She tilted her head, gauging how high up she was. She figured it was a suitable height for her, and grinned.

She stepped forward, and wiggled the first door handle. She was hoping it was open, so then maybe they wouldn’t have to do the growing and shrinking bit.. but of course, it was locked.

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Of course , it wasn’t that simple. The door was locked. Alice knew the bit , she tried the doors she could reach , all unmoving. Since she knew she didn’t like water , she tried to put it off , going through what she was supposed to in the room.

She did consider simply turning the page , skipping this bit entirely but she did so love the Caucus-Race and there was no point in doing the race if she wasn’t soaked through to her bones. So she went through till the bottle had appeared , and honestly , she really didn’t feel like trying to reach the bottle from here. She just so happened to slip in that it dropped into her hands.

Drink with me ?

She tilted the bottle towards her as she offered. She didn’t acknowledge how the question sounded , especially to someone who knew not much of the story. But really , it wasn’t all too bad , the convoluted flavor was quite nice.

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Tabitha reached out for another doorknob, one Alice already tried. Maybe it would work if he kept on trying..

When that certainly didn’t work, her focus turned to Alice holding the bottle up to her. Her eyes trailed over the near turquoise blue, shining liquid in the bottle. It didn’t look like any sort of drink she had seen before. Speckles of what seemed to be glittering bubbles floating in it. The tabby huffed, rolling her eyes almost playfully, and gently took the bottle in her hands.

Oh alright.. Certainly.

Her claws coiled around the top of the bottle, pulling the cork out. ‘Drink me’ read the tattered tag, which hung from the rim of the bottle by a fraying bit of twine. She tipped the bottle back, and poured a small bit onto her tongue..

The flavor was… well strange. The first flavor to hit her was a sort of fruit-sourness. Not that she minded that: it was pleasant. She didn’t seem to notice herself shrinking, it felt more like she’d blinked, and all of a sudden she was only at the height of Alice’s shoulder..

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Alice smiled , certainly not taking her time to enjoy feeling tall for once. She only really got that from Nigel , but he really shouldn’t count since he was so young.

She only took the bottle once Tabitha was about halfway through it , and certainly very small. About halfway bigger than the ten inches she was supposed to be , maybe twenty inches. She turned the bottle and drank from the side she didn’t , not wanting to seem rude and wipe the rim. They were already sharing the drink anyway , germs are inevitable.

She shrunk down as expected , though still just that bit shorter than Tabitha. That seemed rather unfair , didn’t it ?

Must you always be taller ?

She almost sounded like she was complaining , but there was a lighthearted , yet rehearsed , edge to it. Maybe something she’d complained to Alfred about before.

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Tabitha raised a sassy eyebrow at Alice as she looked up to make eye contact for once. She was so used to looking down at Alice, not only in height but also: she was always looking down at her from her perch. She kept on shrinking from there, down, down, down…

Surely I must, I’ve always been taller!

She teased, batting at her shoulder. Then, when she finally stopped, she was still a bit tall for the doorway, but they’d still be able to get through, she imagined. She picked up on how rehearsed it sounded. Her heart sank in his chest a bit. She knew what it was like to lose someone just like that.. if they continued, maybe a part of him would still be here?

As she thought about it, she probably would have assumed herself to feel so defensive and uncomfortable in a world she was unfamiliar with. But, certainly not. It was like a dream, a somehow beautiful dream. She looked to the door, and then expectedly back at Alice, her paw rested on the doorknob.

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The instinctive response seemed lost on Alice , like she hadn’t at all realized what she said. Maybe it was for the best , let her have this fun moment without the loom of grief crushing her soul like a ball of paper. She playfully rolled her eyes.

That doesn’t seem much fair ! I deserve to be tall.

She huffed , playing up her dramatics. Truly she didn’t mind her height too much , but must most people she meet be taller ? She had her father to blame for this , she was told.

She snickered , for a moment forgetting that Tabitha hasn’t known the story , and shook her head.

No no , the door’s still locked.

She nodded upwards , gesturing to the tiny glint on that table that must be the key. Dear oh dear , she realized , how could they ever reach it at this height ?

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Tabitha didn’t ask about it any further. She deserved some fun right now, both of them did. After everything that poor girl had been through while down in the underground and before..

She then grinned again, as genuinely as ever. She didn’t mind the mistake. She didn’t know the story..

Ah, yes, right.

Her eyes trailed up to edge of the now extremely tall glass table. And then to the smooth tiled walls.. well there wasn’t much to latch onto to try and hoist herself up. No cracks in the tile around them. Now if the walls had been stone or brick, something with that sort of texture, she would make an attempt to run and push herself off the wall and onto the table. But, it’s certainly far too smooth for that, even for her boots.

And then she noticed.. there was a small box resting under the table. She knelt down, to get a look..

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Alice took a wide step to join Tabitha’s side , tilting her head before remembering , right , the cake box. It’s a lot smaller than it was supposed to be , or maybe they were simply taller than they were supposed to be. Either way , it was a small box that housed a smaller cake. She had to wonder how well it’ll work , or if it’ll make them way too tall…

Only one way to find out , she shrugged.

She opened the box , fumbling to properly pick even it up. She did get it , eventually. Staring , she did realize that this world wasn’t built to follow the both of them , once again they’d have to share.

Left or right ?

It was only proper to ask which side she’d prefer. It wouldn’t dawn on her that people wouldn’t typically care which side of the same thing they got , she always cared , why wouldn’t they ?

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Tabitha looked between the halves, discerning which one was bigger, because of course she was. She noticed that the one resting in alice’s right hand was ever so slightly bigger. She grinned, per usual.

Left.

That was so then if they both grew, their height may even out a bit, and Alice would get to be taller than her for just a moment.

She took the half of the cake in her hand, looking it over. It looked like a fairly normal cake. And the icing, of course, only read “ea”, considering she had the smaller half. She took a small bite and-!!

Nothing happened. She looked down at herself, sort of perplexed. She took another bite and waited a few more moments to see if anything would happen.

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Alice’s face brightened , not even noticing that her side was slightly bigger , she got the good side. … should she give her the right side so it tastes better ? But then she would have the worse left side- oh ! Never mind , that option has been taken from her.

She didn’t necessarily want to waste time with tiny bites , she was quite eager to move on now , and popped her whole half in her mouth. For a second , nothing , then they both grew , and grew… and grew. First a little past normal height then bigger , soon their shoulders were feet down from their heads and Alice’s shoes could be mistaken for being gone from her perspective.

Just then their heads struck against the floor of the hall:

Sure enough ! Ow. She never did like hitting her head , but if it was for the story…

She looked over to Tabitha as she rubbed her head , almost immediately laughing. Gosh , how silly she looked with that neck ! Is that how she looked too ? No wonder the rabbit runs in fright of her.

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Tabitha almost lost her balance as she began growing, and growing, and growing! It didn't hurt or anything like that, but it was a strange feeling. It felt like a slight stretch, but that was all. She watched as her boots seemed to grow further and further from her head and then:

Klunk!

Her head hit the floor a bit too hard. She winced, and pulled her head away from the ceiling the best she could.

I- I suppose it works a little too well—

She huffed a laugh as she looked down at her own hands. She finally looked up at Alice, who was already laughing, and couldn’t help but laugh too. They both looked hilarious! Though, she certainly had to shift a bit, to remain even somewhat comfortable there..

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We’re easily nine feet tall !

Alice did notice her eyeline wasn’t below Tabitha’s like usual , it was just above , around the eyebrows. Was she taller ? The light reflection in her eyes turned to stars , because of course they did.

I seem to be 9’1 , though.

Her smile turned smug , not even an attempt to hide it came from her. She wasn’t usually this height with anyone , even Alfred was taller than her when they met. She deserved to feel like this. She wondered if the new height difference would stay once they were small again , she hoped , more so. Whatever’s supposed to shrink them again surely wouldn’t take this from her , right ?

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Tabitha raised an eyebrow, feigning annoyance. However, she huffed a sigh, and conceded. Her plan had certainly worked. The bigger half means more growth, which means she’s taller for just a moment.

That does seem to be the case.

A bit of that Cheshire slyness seeped into her tone. She tilted her head, her smile creeping across her face.

Do enjoy it while it lasts, my dear.

Right! She was getting better at playing her part, she hoped. God knows she wanted to play the story as much as Alice did. It had been so long since she’d even heard any sort of story other than telling her own, so how refreshing..

She then heard the small pattering of feet behind her, and if she had visible cat ears they would have turned in the direction of the click of the child’s shoes. Her head turned, toward the noise..

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I intend to , Cheshire-puss.

She mocked the smugness she’s seen from Clarissa , with that awful little smirk she tended to have. The attitude didn’t quite suit her but she never really spent her time being all that smug , especially as of late , give her a break.

She looked to the door , once again a part of her hoped her white rabbit would come hopping in , worried about meeting the duchess. Young Alice had coming instead , along with a shadow that was not her own.

The lights of the ceiling-floor showed it much clearer than the sun had , her heart sank as she recognized exactly who was this shadow. She didn’t expect Tabitha to fully recognize , she hadn’t known him like she did.

If you please, sir—

The words came out known but broken , was this all he was now , so unattached from his own person ?

As expected , the shadow started , a fan and gloves dropping from nowhere. Off they went again , first him then the oh so cheerful little her. She bent down , picking up the dropped items. The gloves were the wrong type , the fan the wrong color. These weren’t his , where were his gloves and fan ? Gone.. like him ?

“Oh dear!” cried Alice , with a sudden burst of tears

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Tabitha hummed at her reply to the challenge.

Quite the attitude!

She laughed in reply. No, she didn’t know why she enjoyed that sort of banter so much and didn’t want it to end. Nor did she see it as an entirely normal interaction either. She didn’t know what it was… that definitely wasn’t something she needed to unpack later!

Of course, as soon as Alice seemed to notice something occurring around them, she couldn’t help turning to look as well. Now, she didn’t know first hand what was happening, but she understood on a surface level.. that was him. Alfred, the white rabbit. He wasn’t seen, only implied to be there by young Alice speaking to the shadow.

Her gaze shifted back to Alice, who herself, as the narration implied, to be on the edge of tears. She ended up moving slightly closer, without making herself uncomfortable in the cramped room, and began speaking to her. Maybe it would help. However, her voice remained cool but firm, as Cheshire puss’ voice seemed to in the story, before she had come with her here.

I’m sure, Alice! I’m sure despite everything that has happened, his running out of time, the remnants of him are still here. Perhaps not him in his entirety- but it’s both of your world, isn’t it? You know it all by heart-

She suddenly realized that her head didn’t touch the floor-ceiling as hard anymore.. was she growing smaller?

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As the hall was very suddenly hot , she took to fanning herself , blowing giantous tears this way and that. She couldn’t be crying for being alone , she wasn’t alone. Cheshire was here , couldn’t that be enough ?

But it’s not him ! There’s no point if he’s not here !

Alice hadn’t noticed their shrinking until this false glove was found on her hand. She felt mocked by it and this fan , appalled that they thought they could replace the beautiful objects of her childhood.

Without thinking , she hurled the fan across the room , the gloves soon after. A few of the blades cracked as it hit the wall then the ceiling-floor. Just in time to stop them from shrinking away all together.

Hadn’t she been through this grief before ? Couldn’t she be happy that younger her is still running and playing ? What’s the use of being jealous of the past when the past is wrong here too. Her chest felt tight , for reasons other than her dress being too small this time.

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Tabitha found herself in now knee-deep water, and it was rising- or was she growing shorter? She couldn’t tell. Either way, the feeling of the salt water made her skin crawl as she felt it creeping up around her..

There is a point, Alice! This is your story as well! It can exist with one, and it does! I’m here with you!

Water kept rising, now reaching her waist. She lifted her arms and elbows, keeping the water from touching them as well. The fur in her jacket soaked up much of it, making it hard to move through..

You mustn’t dwell in the past! We’re here now, experiencing it once again- and newer! It’s impossible to stay on this page forever, you know- we must continue on!

She tried to keep speaking, urge her to continue reading, but the now cold, ocean-like water swept her up away from the ground.. she yelped, in panic. She splashed almost wildly, trying to keep herself afloat. God, she hated water.

Continue on, Alice!

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They were as small as ever , the once was upside down room seemingly disappeared. It seemed they’d fallen into a sea , dark grey clouds hung over head , only letting small streams of light through. It was like a dramatic scene from a movie she’d seen once.

She was so distracted that she went under for whatever time felt a bit too long , she supposed it was her punishment for crying so much while so big , drowning in her own tears. She vaguely wondered what funeral custom they had here.

She did soon remember , Tabitha was here , and gosh , she couldn’t do this. She pushed herself up to the surface , immediately coughing out water that had gone up her nose. It stung this time , it wasn’t supposed to. You don’t feel pain in dreams , so maybe this wasn’t ? Was Tabitha in pain ? She’d cried her throat so raw , she couldn’t muster the question at that moment.

She may have still been crying , it was hard to tell with her entire face soaked. She didn’t bother to find out , her panicked mind trying desperately to read the words on the page. What was next ?! There was something before her race , she knew it !

In the close distance , something had also dropped in the sea , it might be- no , that’s not it. They were vaguely mousey , not like a real mouse but like her and her. A ginger little thing Alice wouldn’t know.

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Tabitha very quickly noticed that Alice hadn’t come to the surface, despite her own thrashing in trying to remain afloat. She briefly tried to feel around for her, with the hope that maybe she could at least prompt her to come up to the surface, considering there was no way she’d be able to pull her up. Her coat was certainly weighing her down, but she almost didnt feel like she could take it off. It was here Cheshire costume, wasn’t it? She found the cold water to be burning the scars on her body that she’d thought entirely healed and then—

Good god, Alice!

She cried out to a god that couldn’t hear, but that didn’t matter. Her tone was more like a scold, as she swam closer to her so she may hear her a bit better. Honestly she was just glad to see her now, that scared her.

What in the world was that?

She hissed. However, her focus was quickly taken by what appeared to be a giant mouse that passed. Something in her instinct really, really wanted to chase it… a mouse-like person, but not a mouse per se.. seemed.. familiar but-

Oh.

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Alice stared at her with sorrowful disinterest. Really, this now ? Couldn't this wait till they were on land or at least when Tabitha's not flailing about ? Though she did suppose she was warned she wouldn't be able to swim. She should focus on that instead of this useless upset, it wasn't proving very effective.

This girl-mouse hadn’t seemed to notice the two yet , possibly a bit too far to notice anything but the onward she seemed to swim towards. Her face could be seen from here as they were all being moved in the same direction , it was that scraggly ginger of a thing as Tabitha once called her but her features were a bit different. Like they were being imagined by someone who only got a description.

Alice pushed her way to find a voice , this story did indeed have to go on , with or without him. What was her line again ?

O Mouse ? Do slow down !

But she didn’t , perhaps even too far to hear ?

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Tabitha blinked slightly as she stared. Her flailing had finally calmed down to a much more manageable pace. Her brow knit in confusions but also interest. Was it her? Could it be her? She took a breath, the best she could without getting any water down her throat, and she tried and failed to move forward to catch up to her. She only made it a few feet before nearly sinking again.

Bonnie? Bonnie!

She called out, nearly screaming. That was never a sound Alice, or anyone in the bunk, had ever heard before. A shrill and panicked noise that the calm and collected Tabitha never seemed to show.

Stop! Slow down!! You’re—

She couldn’t believe it, but also she wanted it so badly. That girl disappeared from her life as quickly as she’d appeared, and she would give anything to get her back. Of course, she didn’t think of it at the time, but that’s what alice was feeling, hm?

She coughed. Right. She took in some water.

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Yet again Alice stared at Tabitha , this time in bewilderment , it was enough to snap her out of her childish funk. Was this the Tabitha she knew ? Surely not , she’d never acted this way before. Then again , she’d never seen her cower in fear of the bombs before , perhaps today was meant to bring change.

Being an excellent swimmer , she’d begged her mum to take her and him to a pool many times , she took up Tabitha’s wrist and swam for her , calling after the thing.

Voici le chat !

She didn’t really know what it meant , she didn’t speak French , but she knew the word ‘cat’. By now she’d put the pieces together , there’s really only one person she’d react to like that. Bonnie-mouse startled , practically jumping right out of the endless water. It was understandable why a mouse would be scared of mention of cat.

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Bonnie!! It’s me!! It’s Tabs! Please-

Tabitha kept on trying to get the attention of the mouse, as Alice drug her along. Desperation tore from her voice as they grew closer. Anything, she just prayed she would hear her, and maybe they could just talk for a little while. Just a few minutes. A goodbye was really all she’d needed. Her departure was so sudden, so… gruesome. When she found her she almost didn’t look like herself. So now that she was here, and looked remotely familiar, she just had to keep trying.

Her voice was faltering, though. The yelling and the cold of the water had begun taking its toll on her current energy.

It’s me-!

She cried out once more, before finally letting her voice rest. She just watched what could have been all that was left of her sister just swim. Tabitha was unable to try and stop her further. She looked forward, at Alice..

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Alice didn’t quite know what she was supposed to do , this wasn’t her mouse , could this one even speak French ? .. had she said it wrong ?

I beg your pardon ! She’s nice , really !

But Bonnie swam on , no verbal response , just escape from the cat. They were to see land eventually , distant still but she was getting them there. Just another disappearance , isn’t it ?

Something inside of her burned hot , not as she’s experienced before , in that way at least. She gets scolded for her sorrows but Tabitha can beg and plead for her sister to come back as she pleased ? Such an irrational thought but she was still just as.

You mustn’t dwell on the past.

Her words had a particular venom. Still not being fully calmed from the outburst earlier mixed with the shouting and having to drag a whole other person through water had a way of getting to someone’s head. Even if it felt so out of character.

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Tabitha’s desperate reaction seemed to wane, the tension in her whole body falling away but the pit in her stomach remained. Her eyes remained on the back of the Bonnie-mouse’s ginger hair, as she swam far, far away. She’d lost her again.

And then the water came over her eyes- right right right- keep treading water. You can’t let yourself fall under. She was growing awfully tired, though. She caught sight of land. Now that, that might be helpful..

Her brow twitched as she heard Alice, her head whipping around to look at the other girl. Her own words. And they stung. She once again hissed her next words. If she’d had visible cat ears, they would have been pinned to her head.

Oh- oh! Really?

She almost found it laughable, a quick cackle escaping as she spoke.

This? This isn’t anything like that!

While she spoke, the water got a bit closer up her neck. This conversation distracted her from it.

You! You’ve been moping about for what could have been weeks!! I was perfectly fine until I saw her!

And no, she didn’t know how long it had been. None of them knew the difference of day and night down in the underground..

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Oh , really. Honestly , it’s not fair that I have to keep moving , “keep turning the page !!” but you get to do whatever !

Alice deserves a pass , she’d known Alfred for ten years ! Tabitha knew Bonnie for what , one maybe two ? That was hardly comparable.

It’s not like you’re doing much better ! You act so cool and mysterious up in the shadows but the second you touch ground , you’re as pathetic as the ones you mock !

As she swam along , she did contemplate simply letting go of her , letting her find her own way to shore. But that thought was interrupted by voices swimming by , the dodo , the canary , and the likes drifted passed , making their own comments.

‘Sounds like the girls are fighting~!’

‘In those outfits-?’

Snide whatever’s from vaguely familiar voices. Alice wasn’t giving them much thought , though now she was aware of how close to the shore they were.

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Well I thought i’d turned the page!! And I had! Until your precious wonderland up and decided to-!

Tabitha shot back, but cut herself off. She was still splashing about and trying to keep herself floating. It may or may not have seemed like she was splashing Alice.

This is why I prefer it up there, Alice! Away from the rest of the people like you! because god knows I don’t need anyone else nagging about such things!

She then turned to the birds. She thought about how cats are birds. They ought to be careful, making comments like that. She pushed herself in their direction, following them close enough for them to hear. No, she wasn’t thinking about what she was saying anymore. All logic had gone out the window. How perfectly wonderland!

My outfit is perfectly acceptable! She looks like a soggy old milk maid!

And then, she had an idea, a wicked idea. She turned back to Alice from her bit of distance, and yelled to her.

You’re acting an awful lot like Nurse Cross right now!!

And then she began swimming away as quickly as she could. Which was not that fast.

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The birds reacted accordingly , ooo-ing , giggling behind their hands , oh so teen like in their reactions.

‘She’s coming , quick everyone ! Keep your pace !’

The flock snickered and laughed from their distance they were so confident in , rightfully so , Alice thought.

I was absolutely fine down on my cot but you chose to come down and talk with me ! It isn’t my fault you can’t leave me be !

Alice gasped , such a dramatic one but really did she know how to be anything else ? She swam after her , much faster than she was , leaning a little closer to shore so she knew she could get there first and therefore win. That’s how that works.

You take that back ! I’m nothing like her !

The flock were already on the beach , soaking wet but making no effort to start their race , they just watched the girls go on.

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Tabitha kept on swimming, slowly but surely, making her way to the shore. She was smiling, laughing, mockingly. Well, she did go and speak to her, didn’t she?

Then perhaps! Just maybe, I made a mistake coming to talk to you! You who can’t get over a death you knew was coming for how long? Oh yes, years! I haven’t a clue why I wandered down either! To check on you, maybe? You’re stubborn- and- fucking childish!

And then, she saw it. Alice was a much faster swimmer. Tabitha only pushed harder in the water, impulsivity that she’d once again never showed before. Perhaps she just felt safer in wonderland, maybe she felt like she could act her age…

No more of that! She continued pushing and pushing to swim, but Alice quickly caught up, and passed her. She gasped for air, but she kept yelling.

You are! You quite clearly are! Just like her!

Mind you, she didn’t have much to back that up. She was just saying it to get on her nerves.

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Alice stopped swimming , waiting for her to get closer just to kick herself off again , making sure that she made the biggest splash in her direction as possible. She’s making good time towards the shore , almost to where she could just walk up

He was doing fine until the bombs came ! He would’ve gotten better if it weren’t for that debris !

Was that necessarily true ? No , Alfred had caught something nasty the year before , something that weakened his immune system enough for tuberculosis to swoop into his lungs. It would’ve likely been inevitable.

I am not… childish ! Just because you had your harsh little life doesn’t mean the rest of us have to act like we’re twenty !

She knew very well she was stubborn , she based her entirety off of a stubborn little girl , but childish ? Heaven forbid she isn’t immediately mature the moment she’s in her teens.

Name me one example ! Shouting hardly makes me like her , if that’s what you’re implying !!

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Tabitha sputtered, spitting out the water as soon as Alice kicked it in her face.

Oh yes of course! A brick falling on the boy is why the cough got him! You had to have seen it coming!

She kept on yelling, kept on kicking, just trying to keep up with Alice’s speed. That was impossible, for sure, but she was damn well trying.

Harsh little life?? Well then! If you’re not childish, say it! Say that word! The one you paused for!! I’m sure your mum would love that!

She really projected that last part. She wanted Alice to hear it. On top of whatever else Tabitha was angry at her for: how dare Alice have known her mother!! Maybe she was just digging for things to be angry about now..

As they approached where the water met the land, it grew shallower and shallower. Finally, Tabitha could reach the bottom without her head going under, and that’s when she decided to try and run through the water instead of swimming. That was much more effective!

You’re stubborn like her!! You have you way and you stick to it!! Her way is the iron fist of authority!! Your way is simply believing things that are impossible!!

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His lung was punctured ‘cause of that brick ! It’s a fair assumption that it would’ve gotten him sick , what with the dust and germs of that beloathed little station !

Alice got herself to the transition back to sand , and stood. She walked backwards so she could face her while she shouted and despite being wholly drenched , her little apron had seemed to develop tabby like patterns. Wonderland has jokes now.

Don’t you bring my mother into this-! She deserves nothing to do with this conversation !

The birds stood behind her started snickering , running through water was never as cool as you’d think it’d be. She wasn’t ashamed to admit that she was too , she looked silly. But in the bad way.

If that’s your logic then you’re just like her too ! You’re so stuck in your “everyone’s soo awful and I’m so much cooler because I isolate myself !!” ways , you can’t fathom someone acting differently !

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And you expected him to get better after all of that? A punctured lung?

Tabitha point looped around, as she kept on running through increasingly less and less water. She eventually made it only knee deep. Her fur coat was gushing water over her, though, and she sort of looked how shaggy dogs look when they come in after a heavy rain. She shook, just trying to get some water off, and perhaps spraying Alice a bit in the process.

Then say it!! If you’re so grown up!

And then that comment, saying something about her survival tactic, that was the last straw. She took in a sharp inhale, picking up the ends of her jacket, and began booking it in Alice’s direction. It hadn’t happened yet, but it looked as if she was going to start a real fight!

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Alice chose to ignore the first comment for she feared what she had to say was much meaner than her irrationality would let her speak. And she had some decorum.

Oh ! Tabitha is fast !! Wonderous ! She turned and booked it through a gap in the very entertained flock , the weight of her wet clothes weighed her down a bit but surely Tabitha was too. It’d just be unfair if she wasn’t.

I don’t need to swear in order to be mature though I’m sure you’re convinced of it !

She’s heard a lot from those shadows. As she passed the birds , she swore she saw one with blue popcorn in a tulip bucket. Honestly , this can’t be that interesting. The flock all seemed to take their cue , starting off on their runs but still behind the two. For obvious reason.

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Tabitha just kept on running. She was unknowingly getting drier, but all she really cared about was getting hold of Alice. Of course, it was frustrating that Alice always seemed to be ever so slightly out of her reach. The sand certainly wasn’t helping, either! It clumped up all on her still-sort of-wet clothes and it kicked up when she rushed around.

Alice!!

She yelled at her as she ran. They were going in circles, but she sure didn’t notice. She ended up leaning over, grabbing a handful of sand, and saving it for when she got close enough to toss it.

Of course, when she did, it hit the Duck right in the face. Wow, nice throw, Tabbie. It just proved she wasn’t against throwing sand!

Now, she hadn’t felt the pointed ears sprouting from her head, and so, she kept on chasing.

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No !!

Alice yelled back , trying her best to run with this sand , it was always so difficult , even after these ten years. Especially with mary janes on , they were hardly something to be running in.

She squealed as the sand hit the Duck , the poor man flapping his arms around then falling on his behind , the eaglet laughed. At least it wasn’t her. She wouldn’t possibly throw a second time , right ? She’ll burn this beach , she will. Though her reaction did slow her down a little.

It didn’t last very long , as her clothes dried and dried , she felt much lighter. Did that mean Tabitha was much the same ? Of course but she was much more focused on herself and escaping , even if they were going in literal circles.

Was the wind more on her ears than usual ? They felt odd.

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Tabitha definitely felt lighter as the water drained from her clothes. Especially the coat, it actually felt a bit warm again. And then she thought, why were they running in circles?? And the others were following them, so this was likely another part of the story she unknowingly started. Well, at least she was dry!

Alice! You’ve got cat ears on your head!

She called, teasing, and certainly not realizing she had the same. She was about to bend down and grab another handful of sand, and make absolutely sure he hit her with it this time… but she had an idea.

All in just a quick second, Tabitha slowed her pace, and shut her eyes. Her newly arrived ears twitched. The stripes on her now-dry coat began unraveling, strips of fur tumbling to the ground and disappearing into thin air. It all left her big grin floating in the air, before disappearing with a small pop!

And for the second, she was gone. Entirely disappeared from the circle. Until, of course.

Hah!

She screamed, suddenly reappearing and throwing her body at Alice. She was trying to get her to the ground, and win this argument!

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Alice , rather stupidly , slowed down , feeling her ears and finding that yes ! She did have cat ears ! … Cat ears ?! She’s not a cat , she’s Alice ! What was-? Was she losing her aliceness ?

She screamed , attempting to quick stop and move but she’d never really nailed dodging anything , especially so unexpected , so she got sent right into the sand. Ouh the sand. It was surly all in her hair , and shoes… and on her skin , get her up !!!

This isn’t very mature of you !

She tried shoving Tabitha off her , highly favoring a plan of running back to the sea , get this hellfire grain off of her. It didn’t matter if she got wet again , she could just as easily dry off. Honestly she’d take being drenched over this. She wasn’t much of the violent nature but any longer she’ll consider swinging.

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Tabitha, who was bigger than Alice by certainly not that big, wasn’t very hard to push off. She was proud of herself, though!

While on the ground, staring up at the sky a second, she realized she could have easily disappeared and reappeared on land, instead of swimming all this way. She groaned, loud and obnoxiously.

Well, maybe I just remembered something that gives me an advantage!!

Her hand went up to her head, feeling the cat ears there too. Oh. Well.. it fit her character. She looked up at Alice then, as she scrambled to stand up. She saw how panicked Alice looked to be covered in sand and well.. maybe she felt a little pang in her chest. Guilt? Shame? Something else? She didn’t know.

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Freedom ! She pushed her aside , so she could say that she did indeed succeed in shoving her over , and ran as fast as ever back into the water. Not so far out that Tabitha couldn’t be heard but far enough to submerge all of her to get the sand off.

A pigeon cooed , which sounded more like a boo , and was accompanied by mild complaints. Wishes they actually fought , discussion of who had won , the likes. One in particular expressed disappointment that they didn’t kiss.

Alice seemed much more at peace once all traces of evil were removed from her but peace never lasted long here. She realized all she had said , all she considered. The shove. Her head snapped its view back to shore , Tabitha wasn’t being carted off anywhere , no nurses turning her away from helping.

Was this really what was supposed to become of her ? For once she was glad Alfred wasn’t down here , he would’ve been disappointed to witness this. She suddenly felt ill.

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Tabitha stood up, shaking some of the sand out of her fur. She turned her head to Alice in the water, and then back at the group of birds. Kiss? Is that what they said? That was.. a thought. She shook her head, expelling such an idea. Well… her senses hadn’t quite returned to her yet, but she approached the birds, and said:

Need I remind you lot that cats eat birds?

However, she didn’t stick around to see much of a reaction from them. She instead calmly wandered to where Alice had gotten in the water. Her attitude seemed to be back. What was that anyway? A defense mechanism? His mind wandered back to what the birds had said and- nope nope stop that, Tabitha. That’s nothing you should be thinking about right now.

Hate sand that much?

She ended up perched on one of the large rocks that stuck up from the sand, sitting down and watching her from there. This was the most Cheshire-like she’d ever looked. Her not trying to kill her now… it wasn’t quite an apology but almost. It almost could have been.

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A lot of ‘ooo !’s and odd little comments like ‘feisty !’ and ‘bite me.’ sounded from the crowd , their responses reminiscent of how a certain group of awful little gossips acts when Tabitha got sassy up there. They didn’t even care that she was walking off , they were having much too good of a time.

Alice , meanwhile , was ringing her hair out in that ‘on another plane of thought’ stare she got some times. Despite having technically watched her walk over here , she flinched , nearly falling back into the water. She wasn’t paying actual attention to what she was doing.

It’s absolutely awful.

She scowled, the only anger that remained in her was towards those very small and very many demons. She just felt remorse , but at least thankful she’d get a chance to apologize this time , and not over the shoulder of that tyrant woman.

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Tabitha huffed as she heard them talking amongst themselves, but soon paid it no mind. Of course, she thought of that group from the underground, who never seemed to run out of cruel comments she had to fend off with a returning one.

Her head tilted out to the water again, checking one more time for her Bonnie-mouse. She scanned the edge of the water, to either side, as far as she could see. There was no sign of the ginger hair she’d seen earlier. No sign of anything at all. Gone, gone.

But, the fight certainly tired her out, and she didn’t feel like yelling at Alice about the whole ordeal anymore. Tabitha didn’t seem at all harmed by being shoved by Alice, so that was good. However, she shifted a bit uncomfortably while sitting there, now. She kept on thinking about it. The idea of the kiss- a sort of disgust crept up within her, but she needed to ignore it.

What’s uhm, what’s next in the story, Alice?

Continue on, as she always told Alice to. Turn the page.

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Well , of course it’s—

She does remember , but she’d rather not have to send messages for the shadow of a young rabbit. Where would after that put them ? Certainly not with the giant dog , her odd ears and the Cheshireness might complicate things a bit. Where , oh where ?

Alice looked all round her at the flowers and the blades of grass—

The mushroom ! That large mushroom stood before them now , Alice now having been dried over the skip of pages. Still , those pesky ears persisted , she didn’t feel happy with them.

Oh. Was she going to have to see that Angus-caterpillar ? She couldn’t be bothered with him right now , honestly , she might become aggressive once again , start the fight those birds so wanted only with a new target.

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Tabitha huffed, but she smiled slightly. Okay, they were back. Sure, a bit of a squabble had occurred but they’re okay now, right? They’re fine. Perfectly.

Her eyes trailed up the shape of the mushroom. Tall and looming over them. It was much, much larger than any mushroom they’d ever seen. Hell, giant mushrooms like that filled the brightly colored forest around them. Shades of blue, purple, and pink danced in the plants, swaying in the breeze.

A sharp, shrill cackle seemed to break the serenity of the scene. Atop the mushroom sat a caterpillar, a cloud of smoke escaping his mouth. But.. something was wrong. This wasn’t angus, and this wasn’t his smooth, almost eerie voice, no. This was someone else. Someone louder, someone less threatening, someone—

He coughed on the smoke.

…It was Harold.

Whoo areee cough youu? Remind me-!

He spoke the words quickly, enthusiastic almost. And they were ended with another sharp laugh..

Tabitha blinked, confused…it was strange casting but she didn’t know much better, did she?

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Harold ? But- If Harold was the caterpillar, is Angus off spoiling her dear hatter’s name ? Remind her to try an avoid the tea party chapter.

Alice looked down at her dress , her apron with its new cat pattern , then felt her ears , fluffy and weirdly pointed.

I hardly know, sir, just at present—

How fitting , wasn’t it ? She wasn’t entirely sure if she was her storybook self anymore , and book alice was much the same with her real self. She’d always manage to fit the scene one way or another.

at least I know who I was when I got up this morning ,

She looked to Tabitha , all of last scene flipping through her mind. The arguing , the tackle- no. No. That’s not right. The cruelty , that’s it ! She took notice that her ears were mostly the same as hers. Their cattiness , she would suppose.

but I think I must have been changed several times since then.

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The Harold-pillar laughed once again. It could have been taken as a mocking laugh, but even that was much better than what angus was doing.

Oh! What do you mean by that?

He pointed an accusatory finger at her, the hand that wasn’t gripping the oddly tea-cup shaped hookah at his side. Then, another voice chimed in.

Do, explain yourself!

The second caterpillar, the female one, seemed to appear right beside her. She was seated on a smaller mushroom, her legs crossed and her voice in a smooth, flirtatious tone. Her chin rested on her hand, as she addressed Alice. Her other hand moved to cup Alice’s cheek. Practiced, like she’d done that before.

It was increasingly clear, especially to Tabitha, that the caterpillar looked like her… not just like her, exactly like her! Tabitha took a moment of confusion but also… this wasn’t Alice’s world, wasn’t it?

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Alice was starting to prefer this to the old caterpillar , even if it didn’t really suit Harold to be like this , it was better than being hit on by that man.

She started her usual response but her face grew a violent shade of red , shutting her up. She’d somehow forgotten this bit , maybe that hookah fogged her memory but she did not remember her to look as Tabitha. This was her and Alfred’s world , but certainly he would not have dreamed of this part of the caterpillar to look like someone he likely hadn’t ever seen. Was this her own creation ?

I— I can’t explain myself—

She truly couldn’t , this was.. a very compromising situation to be put in. She dared to look over at her , seeing the wash of confusion made her feel worse , in a way she didn’t know of. But she didn’t think to move the second caterpillar’s hand away.

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Tabitha shifted slightly, trying to get a better look at the Caterpillar’s face. God, it was exactly the same! Down to the darker birthmark on her forehead. She almost found her own face burning. Maybe it was an accident but.. had Alice been thinking of something to do with her like.. that? This was her mind- and she was the only one left with control over wonderland. Somehow it made her heart pound but also another twist of disgust in her stomach.

Uhm- Alice-?

She stammered, for once.

The Caterpillar, her hand still on Alice’s cheek, pulled her chin, turning her face to meet her eyes.

Seems you’re in a bit of a situation, silly girl. Pay it no mind.

She said it like it was valuable advice. She took the mouthpiece of her own hookah, placed it between her lips, and let a puff of smoke out into Alice’s face. She chuckled. Then she stood, going to study Tabitha. She looked her over, raising her eyebrows in satisfaction.

Settle down a minute, yes? By the looks of it, I’m a part of her.. or is she a part of me?

The caterpillar purred, as a sort of reference to Tabitha’s role in this story.

Tabitha certainly looked.. uncomfortable.

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It seemed a gear blew in Alice’s head as she blew that smoke , words and partial thought flying away with the winds. She seemed lost , embarrassed but not stopping the story. Slowly , she trailed the caterpillar on her way to Tabitha. Oh no.

Oh , no— well , yes ? But no—!

What was she trying to say ? Letters seemed so scrambled now , unable to arrange themselves in the presentable way they were supposed to be and she was hardly in the condition to tell them off for it. Was it the smoke or the blood in her head making this so hard.

This was bad. That she knew.

I didn’t do this—

Some sort of plea to make Tabitha not hate her again , to make that look on her face leave. Was she disgusted by what was out of her control ? She didn’t believe she’d do this consciously , so this was from her subconscious then ? She was confused , on more than one thing.

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Tabitha looked to Alice, her expression softening a little from the scowl it was at the mirror-like image that was the caterpillar. Of course, she still had that distressed look, unable to hide it like she usually did, but she stepped forward, standing closer to Alice, like she didn’t want the caterpillar to get too close. Why was she doing that? She knew she.. sort of liked girls. But that was more in a far away kind of way, right?? She wouldn’t actually want to be with any girls, right? Especially not Alice! That was her friend. Oh, hell, she didn’t know.

The caterpillar, meanwhile, took her own glass hookah, picked up the detailed glass in one hand, mouthpiece in the other, she brought it forward in front of them both.

Here, this might assist your… predicament, darlings. One puff, all one golden afternoon..

She hummed softly, a hazy smile wiggling across her face. Her long sleeves slowed from her arms as she held it out.

Don’t you remember how wonderful it felt, Alice? Don’t you want to feel it again? Calm? Giddy? With your friend, here?

Tabitha glared at the tip of the piece, which hovered in front of her face as the caterpillar gestured to her. But if Alice tried it, unfortunately she might have to as well.. calm might be just what they needed by now..

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Alice took one second to breathe , oxygen was sure to make her form more than one sentence , she hoped. She never really gave her sexuality much thought , it was always just Alfred but now…? Was it Tabitha now ? Was that okay ?

It was dawning on her from her dear friend’s reaction to all this that this wasn’t a normal thing to spawn off someone’s mind. It was likely she did like girls , in that way ? Seemed so… but really , it had to end up being her second ever friend ? Was she always doomed to love her friends too much ?

She stared at the piece , the last time did feel beautiful , she really didn’t mind doing it again and did she really want to say no to this much flirtier part of her imagination ? Not exactly. She took hold of the caterpillar hand that held out , moving the piece towards her.

Puff , puff , sigh… she coughed , having taken possibly too deep of an inhale but she felt so much better. So relaxed and more than a bit smily. What happens in a dream couldn’t possibly hurt her.

I should think you’ll feel it a little queer , won’t you ?

She pointed the piece towards Tabitha.

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Tabitha simply watched as Alice took a few puffs of the substance. Out of all people she certainly didn’t expect Alice to be one to do that. Now, she was no stranger to substances. When your life is mostly spent sleeping under bridges if not being trapped in an a group home of sorts, you tend to seek out the occasional thing like that for any sort of fun. Even now she still snuck cigarettes in her cavernous perch in the wall, away from the nurses and the prying eyes of adults.

The caterpillar raised her hand to alice’s cheek again, running a gentle thumb across her cheekbone. She pulled the tube away from her, making sure she didn’t take too much of it.

There you, dearie.. better?

Tabitha looked at Alice, and then the mouthpiece. Alice looked so peaceful now, much unlike how they were when they were arguing just a moment ago. She took it between her two fingertips, and pulled it closer to her mouth.

Oh, alright- I suppose so.

She sighed, nearly fondly, before taking a deeper huff of the smoke. She didn’t cough or anything. She exhaled it slowly.. and god, she did feel all that much better. The relaxing feeling was instant, and the smile returned to her face in an almost effortless way..

Ah… yes..

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It's amazing how quickly things can take effect when in a dream. Alice was already distracted, she's rediscovered her dress, specifically the skirt and how it moves, currently half twirling side to side just to watch it move with her. She had that stupid giddy smile , still as red as ever.

Half way through her twirls, she realized she should probably sit down. Would it be rude to sit on one of the mushrooms ? She didn’t want to upset anyone- especially not this caterpillar.

She did glance at the caterpillar , the Harold one , he was off in his own world. Could there be a separate dream world inside of her dream world ? She thought there very well could be , since her creatures insisted they were their own person last time and what’s a person without dreams ? Rather sad , she assumed. Perhaps she shouldn’t refer to them as her creatures anymore.

It’s much better with your head in the clouds !

She said to no one in particular , especially since it’s been a short bit since the second spoke to her , but a late response was surely better than none ?

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The Harold caterpillar seemed to not be thinking of the other girls at all. He kept taking puffs of the hookah, coughing, and then humming contently like he, too, was having a very pleasant trip.

Tabitha, on the other hand, had already sat down in the long grass below them. Her legs had felt weak only a second after taking the drug, and she definitely wasn’t going to risk falling down like that. She was staring at Alice though. Not staring in a bad way, the kind of staring you do when you’re so enamored you physically can’t help such a look, the kind where nothing else mattered in the world at that very moment. She was smiling uncontrollably, giggling at Alice’s twirling.

The second caterpillar stepped closer to Alice, a satisfied smile crossing her face. Her hands slowly crept up around Alice’s waist, pulling her closer.

Welcome back, love..

And Tabitha? She was not having that. She stood up, nearly falling forward as she did. Her high mind hadn’t even acknowledged why she didn’t like that, just that she certainly didn’t!

‘Ey! Shove off-

She spoke to the Caterpillar, who raised an eyebrow at her. But, she didn’t want a fight. I mean, how would they even fight? One was real and the other wasn’t. The caterpillar kept her sly smile, just waiting to see what Tabitha would do before she gave it up.

Oh, yes? What?

The caterpillar teased.

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Alice didn’t look to mind this at all , she in fact kind of leaned into it. Of course , she couldn’t exactly stand still but she seemed to manage just fine with just her arm or leg moving.

You don’t need to be so upset ! She’s friendly !

Was this a friendly touch ? Most certainly not , her last experience here wasn’t either but it didn’t look like the concept got in her head. Understandably , she was quite distracted with highs and rabbits then. There was really no excuse for her now.

She stared at the Second - she really ought to have a name , shouldn’t she ? - with a specific amount of admiration , stupid , maybe a side of giggling. She then looked at Tabitha , a definite amount of giggling here. They did really look the same , if she lost her head anymore , she’d not be able to tell the difference. Visually , at the very least.

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Tabitha squinted slightly at that. This all looked… far from friendly. Tabitha’s head was certainly swimming from the drug, but obviously not as much as Alice’s was. She stepped closer, again almost falling, and stood next to her. Earlier she was sort of okay with the thought that the caterpillar was so flirty but now that she was doing something she felt almost- upset? Jealous? Was it jealousy?

..Oh shit, it was wasn’t it? Shit.

Her face flushed as soon as the thought finally formed in her head. Oh fuck, she had a crush. And then, it sort of came out of her as anger:

I said shove off!

The caterpillar, Betty (not like anyone would know her name), chuckled, like she was laughing at Tabitha for having such strong feelings about just one touch. It was one touch! No big deal at all! She held Alice against her for just another moment, looking Tabitha up and down. Yes, she was serious, huh?

Jealous, much? I mean honestly, you could have been much more cordial about the matter, hm? It’s no big deal, here. nothing is.

But, she let go of Alice’s waist, her smile never wavering, but she seemed a bit disappointed that her fun would have been taken from her.

Suit yourself.

Tabitha huffed, but she grabbed Alice’s wrist.

Y’alright-?

And yes, her words did slur together, due to the high.

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Alice pouted , upset she was being let go , and went to reach for the caterpillar’s hand but oh ! Tabitha was holding her wrist ! Her face felt like it might explode from how red she was , she hoped it wouldn’t , as it’d be such a mess and surely a hassle to clean. Instead she giggled in her face.

I was fine , really !

Suddenly , she raised the arm of the wrist she held , high above so she could do a little twirl , all this to move Tabitha’s arm to be around Alice’s shoulders and she could lean into her. The posing didn’t seem to make much sense in the moment but how cared right now ?

But I don’t mind you.

Too high to keep those feelings inside , would it be that harmful to say anyway ? She hardly knew what her words would come off as and honestly she currently hardly cared. She was feeling very touchy and she was getting touch , it was all she needed.

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Tabitha watched her twirl into her arms, she couldn’t help giggling back that. Her face felt like it was burning too..

I uhm.. I didn’t trust that- it was no better than tha..

Well, she was going to mention a certain inhabitant of the bunker but she decided against it. This was too good of a moment..

She mumbled, trying to maintain her attitude but alas, having Alice there certainly always seemed to soften her up, and the drugs inhibited her filter much more than ever. She hugged her closer, like she had earlier in the underground, but significantly less restrained. She found herself without fear of her own feelings, for once.

She then felt he knees getting a bit wobbly again, and she decided to sit back down. She began lowering herself, and making an attempt to pull Alice with her, but stumbled, falling on her ass. She laughed at that too.

Alice- Alice this place is beautiful-

She admitted.

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I think she’s cool… though is that to say I think you’re cool too ? I do , of course ! But does what I say about her apply to you ? Or are you two ?

Now she’s confused. Wonderland was already confusing enough sober , but high ? Her brain couldn’t keep up. Not that she could mind , she’d gladly compliment either of them. Especially Tabitha since she was close enough to see so many details,, that’s the only reason.

Alice put her head on her shoulder , realizing how her neck felt weird since it stretched but oh dear ! Down to the ground they went ! How did this happen ? She spent little time questioning it , as Tabitha was laughing , and how delightful she thought it to be. She spent quite a long moment just staring with that smile , that laugh filled her mind like a song. She’d spend her savings to listen to it again.

Truly…

How curious , she couldn’t seem to look away.

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Perhaps we are, perhaps we aren’t - does it matter? Its your world—

Tabitha spoke softly again. She sounded just as Cheshire as ever, even in her high. Her head ended up resting her head against alice’s, and her hand slowly crept to hold her’s. Her hands were soft, despite the scar tissue built up on them from years of climbing and falling.

I think you’re cool too, you know..

She managed. This was somehow the best she’s felt in a long, long time. Every other feeling she’d ever had for a girl had been met with disgust from herself or the other girl. This was different, it felt like a puzzle piece had shifted a bit close to settling in perfect. She didn’t have any fear, but that could have easily been the drugs as well.

She caught a glimpse how Alice was looking at her, and she understood it. She’d looked at her with the same awe just a few moments ago.

I find you… astonishing. Such a word doesn’t come so easy-

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I don't think I mind either way-

How long has it been since she's blinked, she wondered. She found that she didn't want to , her eyes could turn to raisins for all she cared, as long as she could keep looking. She hoped they didn't though, that'd be rather disturbing and she didn't think eye raisins would taste very nice.

Her grin grew wider, not necessarily Cheshire like, just fairly wide but still so her. She instinctively squeezed her hand the moment she held it, some semblance of movement to make it up to herself for her stillness.

You’re far more astonishing than I.

She scanned over her face , each detail added to the butterflies , she once again thought she’d explode , though this explosion would be much prettier. All blue and white butterflies , she assumed , they’d make a lovely sight.

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In what world is that true? Certainly not this one..

The drugs maintained a haze over her senses, everything but her and Alice was fuzzy. She blinked, trying to perhaps clear it, to no avail. Her eyes ended up trailing down to Alice once again. She almost wanted to drink her in (no idea where that thought came from?. Her hand trailed up to her cheek, rubbing her clawed thumb over her cheekbone.

My.. you’re as if.. the greatest writers and greatest artists came together to create a perfectly beautiful work of a girl..

She hadn’t a clue where such stupidly romantic words came from, perhaps she’s thought that her mind was filled with poisonous words, or she was incapable of saying something so… sweet? It’s not like she minded such a thing.

She made her think of the dumb romantic poems she’d been forced to read in those damn homes, which she’d never thought all that important until now. They all mushed together in her head, and she couldn’t pick even a quote out, but she finally seemed to understand what made them feel so compelled to write.

She felt the temptation to kiss her right there, but she couldn’t seem to just yet..

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Anything can be true here !

Alice didn’t know if she could even move her eyes anymore , they might just be stuck there forever ! But why would anyone ever remotely think about breaking eye contact with those of her.. friend ? They were dark , yes , and most would associate nearly black with bleak , awful things she didn’t have the mind to think about. Yet here , their golden afternoon sun made them into the likeness of a starry sky , and she did love stargazing.

She melted into that hand , for once what surely was too long , she closed her eyes as her eyelids were indeed not stopping their function just for a beautiful girl. They did open once more when she spoke again.

I’m hardly all that— have you seen yourself ?

She didn’t know much of those romantic words at the current moment , surely she could dig up an old childhood poem at some point but for now it remained lost. She’d be glad to let that velvet voice speak on anyway.

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You’re speaking such nonsense.. may be the most nonsensical thing you’ve said to date, dear Alice..

Tabitha grumbled, but warm and certainly giggling about it. But, she stopped arguing with the other girl. She knew she was correct on this matter anyway. She knew Alice was beautiful, and that was that.

She soon found herself rubbing her chin and her cheek against’s Alice’s shoulder, as a cat tends to do. She even purred, too, which she could do before as a person, but not mindlessly like this. Her face pressed against the sleeve of her old fashioned ‘storybook’ dress. The action ended with a deep sigh, her resting her chin on Alice’s shoulder once more, and her finally fully settling into the pleasant daze of the high.

Such impossible nonsense..

She reiterated once more, under her breath.

Of course, her daze didn’t last very long. A few music notes sounded from the bank they had just come from. The sounds of an instrument made from what sea animals would be able to find, shells and fruit husks and all sorts of things like that (not that they would know that, of course. To them it sounded exclusively like hallowed drums or a xylophone perhaps). Tabitha perked up at the noise, her head turning toward where she knew the music was coming from.

…hm? Wha-?

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A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Alice recited like it like one of her book selfs lessons , truly she did also learn it from school , studying old American newspapers during English. She never could pay attention then , Alfred was in that class , but this quote felt like it could’ve been taken straight from her dear book , perhaps from the cat or hatter’s mouth.

She surprisingly didn’t burst into giggles at the affection , instead her eyes were wide , shining like freshly polished leather. She purrs ! Isn’t that just a loveliest noise ? If she wasn’t so unhere , she’d wrap herself around Tabitha ( not in the way of a snake , mind you ! ) hold her in this position and on this page for as long as she could.

But of course, Tabitha just had to move , maybe she did pout a bit about it before she finally tuned into her surroundings. The sea once again ? Hadn’t they just been there ? She propped herself up , squinting against this high and her unsurprisingly blurry eyes. Was it time already ? Had she mixed up her pages when reattaching them ?

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She thought about the words that left Alice’s lips, as she stared out at the sea. Her thoughts were in much brighter colors than her usual, if that made any sense. But what makes sense here? She sighed, giving up her end of the debate.

I suppose it’s an appropriate response.

She hummed softly. She didn’t want to get up, certainly not. Why, this was the happiest she had been in god knows how long. But, the instrument noise rang again, like it was beckoning them to get up and see what was happening. She wanted to stay on this page much longer.. forever, perhaps. Such a thing would be beautiful, really. Wonderland wouldn’t have an issue with such an outlandish concept as her loving a girl.

Of course, that couldn’t happen. They had to go back eventually.

The music jingled again, and again, and Tabitha sighed in slight annoyance.

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A bit of the fog cleared from Alice’s mind , letting her recognize the page. Her golden waltz of gorgeous lobsters ! She did hope the mock turtle and gryphon were there this time , where they were supposed to be. She caught a glance of the Harold-pillar and wondered if those creatures too would be wrong in someway , wrong person for the role or forgotten their role entirely. She hoped not , she did so love the lobster dance and something off was sure to put her off.

Come ,

She pushed herself into standing , practically almost falling again but ! Successfully stayed up.

we can’t pause forever , we’ll miss the dance !

She almost ran off on her own , which wouldn’t have ended well , before remembering Tabitha was as off as she was , shouldn’t be left alone. She pulled her up herself and waved goodbye to Betty ( not that she would know her name ) on her way.

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Pause, paws, pause- pause too long, the moments gone- the dance is done.

The words seemed to come out I’m on instinct, like she didn’t seemed to think about them at all. Tabitha gripped Alice’s hands, and stood, following her wherever she went. And no, she did not let go of her hand. She trusted that she would be led somewhere nice. Trust was rare but prevalent here.

The caterpillar, Betty, meanwhile, remained on her own mushroom, smoke escaping her lips as she watched them leave. He raised a slow hand, and waved back.

Have funnn, lovebirds~!

She called, teasingly as always.

Of course, when they’d turned the corner, there laid a gryphon (who bore quite the resemblance to Nurse Cross) on the rocks, basking in the sun, and the Mock Turtle. The mock turtle looked as regular as always, a beard poking from his shell-helmet, as tears rolled down his face. The gryphon seemed… a bit annoyed with him. But she listened nonetheless. She called:

Drive on! Come on!

And the Mock Turtle kept sobbing, unable to continue talking for the moment.

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Alice found she wasn’t surprised by this casting , Nurse Cross was quite the gryphon. She was concerned on who would be queen if the Nurse was here , or was she both ? Quite an exhausting switch , she knew from Alfred’s reenactments.

While not happy to be back on the sands , she was still plenty high enough to brush it off for now and practically skip towards the two. Looking back of course to make sure Tabitha was still with her , not sure why she wouldn’t as they were quite attached , but she wanted to assure it !

What is his sorrow ?

The line’s usual pitiful tone was replaced with her much more giggly one. Which made the mock turtle cry harder , if such a thing could be possible.

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You mock me!

The Mock Turtle screamed at them both, though his loud and obnoxious sobs. He gasped for air as he continued, as if he couldn’t breathe.

These young women..

The gryphon looked at them though, suspiciously. She may have gotten the hint that they were a little under the influence.

to know your history, they do!

Finally, the turtle managed to continue.

If- hic- if I am to tell you, not a word until I finish! Once.. I was a real turtle-

Tabitha laughed at that, louder than her usual snicker. Him? Real turtle? Why he looked nothing like one. She quickly tried to pull herself together, but that was hard considering how funny that seemed to be in her high state. Not to mention, Alice holding her hand made her feel all that much more giddy.

Alice- Alice-!

She, somehow, thought Alice would be able to help her to stop laughing.

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Not me surely !

Alice had little control over her tone , high and gay ( yes , in both ways ! ) she couldn’t force herself into a serious expression. Even under the Nurse Gryphon’s stare.

She grinned , trying to shush Tabitha but failing miserably. They looked like those kinds of rude girls who giggle in the back of class during instruction. She’d never liked those girls but now ? She think she understood , laughing with a friend is much more enjoyable.

Tabs , we should let him speak—

And yet she still talked. She did feel a little bad , with him wailing like a lost child , but how was she to stop ? Becoming sober didn’t just simply happen , she didn’t think.

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Tabitha couldn’t seem to stop laughing, laughing and laughing. And now that Alice was laughing too, it may it far more difficult to stop. That was, until, she said ‘Tabs’. She called her Tabs. An adorable nickname. Her giggling calmed, but she certainly didn’t entirely stop. It remained as a big smile on her face.

Go on- go on- we’re listening.

The Gryphon scowled at the girls disapprovingly, but gestured for the Mock turtle to keep going. He finally burst out again, continuing on his story.

When we were little—! We went to school in the sea, our master was an old turtle! We used to call him tortoise..

Tabitha interrupted, erupting in giggles again.

Why? Was he not a Turtle?

The Mock Turtle glared at her, despite his tears still rolling down his face.

We called him tortoise because he taught us! Really, you both are awfully dull!

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Alice managed to shut up , not quite like a telescope , but enough to hopefully appease the creatures in front of them. She knew it wouldn’t , everyone was so easy to offend down here.

Which she may be apart of , as she stared at Tabitha , her line ! She stole her line. Although , hadn’t she stolen one of Tabs’ before ? Either way , she felt a small bit of offense , even if she had forgotten to speak first.

The Gryphon went on ,

You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question.

And Alice felt her bookish embarrassment , though a bit more than usual as the combination of a lot of things were making her mess up the story.

She stared to sway again , to get her mind off this and hopefully focus on this story. It didn’t feel like a very good one , he can’t even finish a simple sentence without crying. She had to wonder how Dr. Butridge ever ended up cast here.

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Drive on, old fellow!! Don’t be all day about it!

The Gryphon screamed back at the Mock Turtle, who only sobbed again. He sniffled, as he continued to speak, or attempted to through his tears once more. He put his arm over his face, oh-so-dramatically.

Oh my tortoise!! He was lost when the- when the—

He suddenly began scream-crying, as he couldn’t get his words out.

When The Heartless arrived!!

And even the Gryphon looked somber at the mention of it. She looked down, at her own clasped claws.

And Tabitha? She was confused but.. she barely cared about what the Mock Turtle was saying anymore, she was always so much more focused on Alice, whom she couldn’t peel her eyes from. She chuckled at the hint of offense she got from her.

What? Did I say something?

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You stole my line !

Mockery offense , over dramatic like that silk dressed girl she’s been forced to see entirely too much of , mannerisms memorized for just this. Not quite this scene , perhaps one she planned with Alfred once but here was a fine use.

Wait ?

Heartless ?

That wasn’t a line , was it. She scanned over what she knew , pages of no results. Had some new creature popped up ? She was sure that wasn’t possible , she’d surely know if something like that had happened.. unless her dream truly wasn’t hers anymore , something shared from Tabitha perhaps ?

Though she couldn’t really work much out , her head hadn’t come back yet !

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Did I?

Tabitha giggled, and ended up leaning her weight on Alice’s shoulder again. She couldn’t help it! She always seemed to want to touch her, was it the drugs? Who could say.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry- I only asked the burning question on my mind, Alice-

She hummed, her cheek mushing against her again.

The Mock Turtle kept on sobbing, as he cried out again.

The Heartless Queen!! She arrived from another world! She took over and at random, people began being taken to her palace!! Sniff! And none have been seen since!!

He wailed, as the Gryphon suddenly put her claws up, to shut him up. She whisper-yelled.

Hold your tongue! She may hear!! You know how she reacts to such talk too loud!

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Alice huffed and dropped her act , wrapping her arm around Tabitha to bring her closer , if it was even a possibility. She was sure Wonderland would find a way , everything that is impossible will be possible , hopefully not possible enough for them to fuse. That wouldn’t be enjoyable.

Another queen ? How many could you possibly have here ?

It felt like something to worry about but Tabitha was right there , honestly she couldn’t under these conditions. Would that make it three or four queens now ? Or would it be two ? She wasn’t sure how the looking glass applied to here , since everything else was so messed up. If it did , would she be a queen still ?

Her free hand found its way to Tabby’s cheek , it simply rested there , for in her wondering , the stray thought of her popped up. It seemed she once again remembered she was a Cheshire.

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The Gryphon didn’t answer her, just began waving the two girls off as she tended to the Mock Turtle’s tears, as well as making sure he didn’t say anything that could have them whisked away next.

Off! Off with you both! And speak no more of it! Such things cause you to disappear too!

She hissed at them, before a final pushing gesture to tell them to leave. She looked around the edges of the beach as well, as if suspicious of something.

Tabitha didn’t mind leaving, all of the sobbing was a bit much for her to take in in such a state, and plus, the lobster-music seemed to be playing again, calling them to the edge of the water once again. She pulled away, slowly, as if she didn’t really want to stop being held, gripped her hand, and began moving toward the sound of the melody.

Here, come, come..

She smiled widely, giggling again.

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Oh well , Alice thought. She couldn’t be too upset , the mock turtle’s story was always a bore. She never truly cared for it , only cared that Alfred was the one saying it.

How queer everything is today.

She didn’t realize Tabitha was moving until she was walking and found herself walking too. How could she not have noticed sooner ? Not to worry , they were still holding hands and oh ! The music !

She walked a little faster , so she wouldn’t be dragged as she was sure to face plant sooner or later and they were on the beach. Not ideal , she did not plan on being wet again unless it has to do with the dance.

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The Lobsters were already dancing on the banks, around a small band of them, all knocking on coconuts and playing stringed instruments made from kelp and coral.

Tabitha kept her grin. Oh!! She had a scene here! Okay, okay… but were they going quite by the book? She didn’t really want to let go of Alice, much less disappear and let her dance with the lobsters by herself. She only gripped Alice’s hands tighter.

Will I? Won’t I?

It was almost like she was asking for permission to stay here with her, despite is going against Alice’s book. That seemed unlike her. Before, she had no obligation to s took entirely to the script, her character hadn’t appeared, but here, she did. For now, though, she held on.

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Alice stared at the lobsters , once again giggly and giddy. At least everyone was with their respective partners ( yes , she could tell the lobsters apart as they wore shirts or accessories that differentiated them. ) that must have been a good sign.

Won’t you join the dance ?

Tabitha was here with her before , whether she knew that or not , so she must must stay ! For who could she dance with without ? She certainly couldn’t dance alone , the dance requires two and as much as she knew she could go off book , this time she couldn’t bare to. Nor could she butt in on the others , they had no interest in her.

You shouldn’t pass this up , you have no notion of how delightful it’ll be when they throw us out to sea.

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Tabitha found herself laughing again when Alice did. It was just that contagious! She sighed, affectionately, squeezing her hand once more.

Oh, alright-

She scoffed, as if she didn’t want to. She certainly did. Anything with Alice was alright by her.

The lobsters shuffled all around them in their pairs, twirling over each other’s backs and landing perfectly on their four lower feet before gripping each other’s claws and doing the routine again. Tabitha watched them, trying to figure the routine. She hadn’t even really tried dancing before (while sober), so that was.. difficult. She looked up at Alice. She’d done this before, right?

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Alice , though still hazy , stood in her place. You’d think she was one of the lobsters with how well she matched their stance , at least she thought so.

You’ll love it.

She took Tabatha’s hand to her waist , other hand moved up to mimic their claws. Everything was rehearsed but it was still loving. She wasn’t necessarily rushing her into learning but they did have to keep up unless they wanted Harry and Doug to twirl into them.

Step and step , this she truly did know by heart. You’d assume she wasn’t the littlest bit high if you happened to only see this scene. The other lobsters didn’t seem to mind , lost in their partners and the music.

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Tabatha followed her lead, her legs cooperating with her now. She picked up the dance after a moment, but certainly not without a few stumbles and flaws along the way. She did love it. Again, this was something she never loved before, this sort of slow dancing. It had never occurred to her how wonderful it could be.

She held one of her hands in a matching claw, and adjusted her hand around Alice’s waist, making sure it was secure. She continued following the dance, slowly, and eventually she gained the speed to be in time with the others. Twirling, dipping, holding each other close.

Alice was the prettiest thing she’d ever laid her eyes on. That thought echoed in her mind from earlier, and so many times before that in the bunker, not that she ever consciously knew that’s what she’d been thinking back then. Her hand began slowly moving to Alice’s cheek during one of their closer moments in the dance, holding her chin tenderly between her thumb and finger. She felt the pull, the pull in to finally kiss the girl that made her see the world in all new colors. This time! This time she took it! She leaned in and-!

RINNNNGGGGG!!

The stopwatch’s harsh cry ripped her from the moment. Where had that come from?

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Alice found that it was really no trouble at all to lead , though she’d never done it before , no wonder Alfred always enjoyed this bit.

Unfortunately she was the type to forget you’re supposed to break eye contact , especially here now. The only time her eyes weren’t glued to Tabatha were those short times during twirls or stretches where she’d be faced away , even still she tried her best for it to not happen. A switch went off during some dip at some time , that oh. she did know these feelings. She never thought they’d apply to someone else. Is that wrong ?

Too late for that thought , her chin was being held. By a gorgeous woman. Oh dear , her heart is trying to escape her ! That must be the reason it was beating this fast. She didn’t shy away like she thought she would , she felt transfixed more than anything.

What is that noise ?? Couldn’t possibly be the rabbit’s watch this time. She went to look and found herself looking up from her book , on the end of her cot like she hadn’t left at all. And evidently as if she never took from that hookah , as she was immediately and quite jarringly sober. But her face still felt so hot , so it must’ve happened.

In the distance , a Dorothy called out an apology for her alarm clock.

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Tabatha suddenly blinked her eyes and looked up from the page. To the outside world, it looked as if they were both leaned over the book, and reading together. She looked up, and around at their familar surroundings. Good lord, her head was eerily still now, and she knew she was suddenly sober, uncomfortably so. She remembered what happened, what she’d done, what they were doing together. She would give anything to do that again, all of it. But, the thoughts of their dance and holding each other rested at the bottom of her stomach like stones sank in rivers.

She found that old disgust within her. That same feeling that reminded her of being pushed away and forced to face the consequences of getting too close to some other girl. She could almost feel the mindless prayers coming up from the back of her throat. She had that pout expression, the one only really seen when she was thinking about coiling back into the dark corner of her hide-away. She looked at Alice. No eye contact, just taking in her features again, like perhaps she would lose them.

Of course, over all of that rang Angus’ slurred voice, bellowing at Lily. The only reason she knew Lily’s name was due to how often Harold, whom she felt some pity for, would loudly call her by a nickname: Lilypad. Angus sat down in the cot next to her, his O-O-O-Os of blue smoke blowing in her face.

Say, girl, you’re studying to be a nurse, aren’t you? You know, I’ve got quite the acchhhee in my trousers, you may want to look at!

He then reached out, for her shoulder.

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Alice tried to ignore the back of her mind , that door that had seemed to crack itself open and the disappointment of he was should not be there still. It felt that his heart was hers and she felt that crack in it. To try and kiss another ? After all they’d been through ? Does her impulse know no end ?

Rather unfortunately , that slime’s voice cut through all that , she felt much sicker. Honestly , who says that. Who would that possibly work on. That poor Lily girl looked so disgusted. She knew how she felt. He boiled her blood to no end. He’d be better with none. A voice spoke in her head but was pushed away , she didn’t particularly like those thoughts that made their way in.

It seemed though , that most who had to hear also felt much disgust. Even those who grew used to his yabbering turned to look at him with judgement. Those of which being Louis , Alice didn’t know much of him but she’s seen him kiss the cheek of the Daylily , as he called her. The boy stood faster than even Harold could manage , shoving his way in between them before he could touch her shoulder. He made sure she could scramble back to her cot safely then hit him across the face , closed fist. Then again.

Onlookers gasped , sitting up and some standing to see. Among the gaspers was Alice , hand hovering her mouth , though it wasn’t much of shock. She had a small twitch in the corner of her mouth that said she wasn’t too bothered , most others could relate.

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Tabatha found herself peering over at the fight. But for once, she didn’t try to interject on the commotion. There was enough going on in her mind at this very moment. She looked on, her brow furrowed in annoyance. Despite this, her hand seemed to wander back next to her, perhaps in search of the edge of the book. That book, which she now understood why Alice loved it so. She did want to go back. She felt less horrible about her feelings there. But if they were to go back, would it be the same? She looked to Alice once more.

Angus, meanwhile, went down rather quickly when he was hit, falling forward onto the cot he was sat on and hitting his head on the concrete ground below. Ouch. His high only made his disorientation worse.

His nose gushed with blood that seeped down his face and into his shirt. His hand went to cover his injuries. For the moment he was regaining his bearings, laid on his chest on the cot, he looked like one of those French aristocrats, hunched over the guillotine. With Louis, who struck him again, now serving the role of the executioner. Angus yelped and covered as the back of his head to protect himself.

That girl from the circus, Jamie. Usually she was never serious, cracking jokes and telling tales of her time in the circus but now? She was being stern with him. She shifted to stand between them, putting her hands on Louis’ shoulders. She screamed at him. Her voice, which was always loud, had elevated to a shrill screech.

Shove off! You’ve made you point! You don’t want t’ kill ‘em now, do yah?

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Louis caught his breath , seemingly very satisfied with his actions and perhaps a little horrified. He wiped the blood from his knuckles with the end of his undershirt , walking back to a rightfully shocked Lily. Dorothy has already gathered a group around her , all staring at her camera. She’s likely to get that taken away.

Call the nurse. He muttered.

Alice pulled herself from staring , the weight of her book in her hands making its appearance once again , almost like a tug back to that world. Where were they again ? Past this page-

Where are you , pig ?!

Alice shut her eyes tightly and sighed , again again ? She hadn’t even started to read yet ! Must she always be like this ? For a minute or two she stood looking at the house-

And there they were , away from the fighting and the pathetic blubbering and in the story once again. A Dodgy like woman sat in her chair , hair as big as her face was mad. Perhaps compensating for the fact that Alice had grown taller than her.

Well well ! This little piggy just can not stay home ! Moving on , are you ?

She looked to Tabitha , who stood in her Cheshire spot , that knowing look that Dawkins had with gossip on her face.

Not at all-

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Tabatha looked down at the page when Alice opened the book again. They hadn’t said a word to one another in the real world… she supposed that was alright, they were both a little preoccupied with the fight and felt so stranger after they woke up and—

It was almost like she blinked and all of a sudden she was in her Cheshire coat again. She was sat on the ground next to a chair holding what looked to be Dodgy! Of course not Dodgy- but wonderland had proven that it takes the faces of the people around them.

Her eyes kept falling on Alice though. She couldn’t help admiring her. Though, she yanked her eyes away. They were no longer under the influence and thus she couldn’t be stupid anymore. Act too stupid, turn into stupid. It’s not like she could possibly succeed at that foolish thought. She forced herself to look away, back at the Duchess.

She grinned, as the scene said she ought to, but such a thing was hard to do with the tone she Duchess spoke to Alice in. And then, what she was saying. How horribly Dodgy it was.. theorizing, teasing…

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The Duchess tsked , rolling her eyes , already oh so impatient. How could she not be , that wild cook would not stop peppering that soup , it was affecting air but somehow not Tabatha or said wildess. Only Duchess and Alice sneezed.

Not what I hear ! Chasing Cheshire tails now , is it ? Can’t keep your heart in place , pig ?

For that , Alice found no answer , all words caught in her throat. She felt her head redden but told herself it was just this pepper. There was a flicker of white in her peripheral view , a seasoning flake , surely… Her reading went blank , where were her lines ? She wondered if they even apply here , likely not.

I don’t chase tail.

Duchess stood and Alice shrunk away , expecting her to be wielding the paddle once again , though she’s not sure where she got it the first time. But she simply paced , searching for something , her invitation was it ? Or perhaps her actual child this time. She hoped that little thing was far gone , this house was no place for a young one.

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Tabatha looked up at the Duchess as she stood, flinching as well for some reason. She reminded her of those wicked women running the last house she’d been put in. that house was the reason she remembered dozens of prayers to a dog she didn’t believe in, that house was the reason she lot Bonnie. She couldn’t help it. She stood, trying to make her way to the other side of the room to sit with Alice as the duchess paced.

She hasn’t done a thing, madam.

She seemed to default back to that orderly tone of voice, which she had used to protect Bonnie in moments where she thought the situation escalate. Tabatha could face horrible wrath if it was herself, but she certainly couldn’t allow Alice to be. She settling leaning against the wall behind where she was standing.

Once again, the pepper didn’t seem to bother Tabbie. She spoke firm, but not in any way to egg on the Duchess’ anger.

What are you searching for?

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The duchess glanced over her shoulder at Tabatha as she rooted through a drawer. It’s almost as if she didn’t expect her to speak , well her cat never spoke during this scene , only smiled.

My invitation , dear !

She spat , knowing her cat should know. Even if she did make them skip the bit with the frog footmen.

Is it for the queen’s croquet ?

Alice knew the answer , Alfred always loved this scene , never as much as his rabbit’s but it was up there. She ducked out of the way of a rogue plate flying by , thrown by the cook she could never see the face of , something she’s quite good at now ! If she could dodge him throwing pillows , she could do this.

Ah ! The duchess finally fished out her very official letter. Finally grown your brains in , pig ?

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Tabatha happened to be just slightly of the way of the flying plate, but she did flinch once again. She leaned over, trying to get a look at what the letter said. Right, right, the croquet. Croquet with the queen. She leaned back, listening again.

She couldn’t help herself now though, wandering over and standing next to Alice now. Somewhere she hoped maybe they could hold hands again, or she could lean on her shoulder. But she wouldn’t ask for that now, too strange. Enough, enough.

She said no more for now, listening on, though she couldn’t remain that way for long. She eventually leaned over while the Duchess was reading, smiling to Alice a little bit.

Quite the appropriate casting, hm?

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I didn’t cast him , Wonderland did it to itself !

Alice whispered , hoping the crash of plates , bowls and silverware would cover their speaking. It did enough to mask them from the duchess. She did think Dodgy’s face was quite the upgrade from the original , a bit tragic that one was.

Gossiping in my own home ?!

Duchess seemed to appear next to them , scaring the skin off of Alice ( not literally thank god ! ). She seemed to catch the smell of something not pepper , sniffing the air only to sneeze quite violently. She smirked though , as though she can still smell the opium and feelings off of them.

We were just-

Tsk !

But-

I’ve no time for you or your Cheshire puss ! We’re late !

For what , croquet ? It couldn’t be time already ? Yet the duchess waved her invitation in front of the two , the time for the event said ‘NOW’. Alice wondered if the queen had meant at the time she had wrote the invitation or as the recipient read it. Either way now was now. Another chapter out of place.

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Tabatha definitely jumped when the Duchess appeared right next to them, before she could reply to Alice this time. Though, when she jumped, it looked far more like when you stare a cat, their back arches and the fur stands up around their shoulders. Somehow, her fur coat did just that, spiking up on her back.

And then, as they trotted behind the Duchess’ giant lace and frill covered bustle, off to the Queen’s croquet grounds, she wanted to talk to Alice, say something about what they’d just done together or how she really liked it but— she couldn’t seem to get a smooth word out. Strange, isn’t it? What that sort of feeling does to a person like her.

As they approached the gate, there stood three smaller figures, clad in the uniforms of the Queen of hearts. One, whom was yelling at the other two, had red hair peeking from his gold knight’s helmet. It didn’t look like a real knight’s helmet, more like the type a child would wear, where it just sits on top of your head instead of guarding your face. The emblem of a club was set in the front of his armor. He called to the other two:

We are expecting guests and you haven’t prepared the ground!! The queen with heat of this and you’ll be next to disappear!!!

A taller, lankier girl with strange eyes seemed to laugh loudly at his threat. She was dressed as a jester, with jingling bells and all.

If you cared so much about it, why don’t you do it? It would be a comical sight!! Hah!!

And the third remained quiet. Obviously she had been drug here by the jester, and she was extremely upset about being yelled at. She was dressed in a diamond patterned red dress, with puffed sleeves. It was reminiscent of the shape of dress the queen often wore, but far less fancy. She was the only one to notice that the guests were actually here, and she tried to tell the other two with a small “Uhm- you two-!” , but they were far too excited about arguing to even look to her.

So now, as they approached the door, it did not open, as the employees of the Queen were not paying attention to their cue.

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Alice rocked on her feet , only making pathetic excuses of attempts to let them know of their appearance. Not even the Duchess bothered , she’d rather fawn over her appearance and look good for the queen than help.

After 15 minutes exactly , a little Alice ran up , impatience plaguing her entire being. Of course now the guards listened to a polite “excuse me.” All rushing and panicking but the gate was soon opened nonetheless.

The small girl curtsied , wobbly at best but still a good shot at it , and walked in to the loveliest garden. On her way , she seemed to grow , not quite like she ate a cake , actually growing. First to a teen , what her her was now , then all too fast into adulthood. She grew not much taller than the teen but her hair grew longer with streaks of gray , her storybook dress lengthened into a victorian esque wedding dress , yet still a play tiara on her head. She turned a hedge corner before much else was seen.

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Tabatha had been debating on getting the attention of the guards, but maybe this was part of it! She couldn’t be so sure. She glanced back to Alice, then to the Duchess. So she waited. And waited. And then, as soon as she’d tried to say something, Little Alice ran up.

And from behind that hedge stepped out another, familiar, figure of a child. His face was covered by his hands, and his sleeves were soaked in dried and fresh blood. He coughed, and coughed, eventually collapsing on the path in front of them. Near instantly, he grew as well, but he’d stopped at a teen. He slowly rose from the ground, stumbling as if each step pained him more. Blood trailed and dripped down his face, and he hadn’t even bothered to try and wipe it anymore. He stood up straight, hands behind his back, as he’s been instructed, and he tried to speak, but his voice came weak and hoarse.

The queen- she’s expecting you.

He made eye contact with Alice, but there wasn’t much recognition in his face. It was suddenly very clear who this was: Alfred.

The main guard, knave of clubs, who had been belittling the other two employees of the Queen, bumped the sickly boy with his shoulder as he passed.

You’re late.

The guard hissed. Wonderland-Alfred had no reaction to it, but it was clear that it hurt a bit.

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Alice was frozen staring for an agonizing moment , racking her brain of why this small boy was familiar. Forgive her , she’s not dumb , it’s just hard to comprehend anything after watching little Alice grow into an adult. She felt her heart leap into her throat.

Alfred..!

She walked forward , hand reaching out to him , only to be tugged back. She’d forgotten she grabbed Tabatha’s hand while they walked , no matter , she let go without a second thought.

The scene.. yes. I was getting there.

She shot a glare towards the knave , something so similar to a character she’s yet to see. She placed her hand to Alfred’s cheek , he was there , here ! She could feel him , does that mean he’s out there still ? Somewhere in the so lost world above ?

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It didn’t take any time for Tabatha to notice Alice drop her hand the second he’d appeared. Right, of course. She should have expected such a thing! That emotion spiked in her once again. Was it jealousy this time? Not quite. It was that slimy, gross, hopelessness. The kind of feeling that makes your face burn and perhaps tears prick the corners of your eyes.

This feeling seemed too intense, didn’t it? All logic pointed to this making sense! She was grieving him and any chance to get him back should be taken! But somehow, that hurt a lot.

Why did she even think she had a chance here, anyway? Why did she let herself get her hopes up just this one time? She should have known this time wouldn’t be different!

And Wonderland-Alfred had a slight flicker of surprise when she touched him. He saw her. Not the heartless, her. His eyes widened but he couldn’t do much more than that.

Alice I—

No touching Her Majesty’s rabbit!

That redhead club-guard barked his order at her. He said it like Alfred was a possession of the queen’s, not a person. Strange.

Alfred stepped back from her, having no strength to continue any sort of rebellion against the order of the queen’s guard.

Tabatha called out after:

He’s not real, Alice! Wonderland it’s- it’s preying with the people we grieve! Come along- please-

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Alice found herself tearing up again , at least she wasn’t nine feet high , it wouldn’t do much good to drown them all. He did see her , he must be able to think for himself ! Since when would he cower to the word of a rotten guard ?

Her majesty can choke on a heart !

She snapped , poor words , yes but she got out of a beheading before , she’s willing to do it again. Her hand still reached for him , just a step closer , let them shout , she didn’t care. She could steal him , she thought. Bring him away from here and run free again again. She’ll find him above too ! He must be there , could’ve escaped that ward D.

Was she so blind though , that she didn’t hear Tabatha ? Not entirely , she heard little and that cat should be glad she heard at all.

He must be if he’s here ! She didn’t look back at her.

Alfred , please.. You can come back , there’s still room in the station !

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Tabatha only followed her, gripping her wrist, and tugging back, trying to at least get her to look at her. Maybe if she looked at her she would realize—

If wonderland could make Bonnie it could make him too! You ought to believe me! I’ve been with you this whole time!

She tugged on her wrist once again. She felt it was her job to pull Alice from her impossible belief, as Alice did earlier for her.

Alfred just so happened to look down, at Alice’s hand, which was spotted with his own diseased blood now. He broke his formation, which certainly seemed to get the attention of the guard, and pulled an only barely bloodied handkerchief from his waistcoat pocket. He hadn’t been trying to wipe himself anymore, but she was worth this. He managed to wipe his own hands, before taking hers and wiping it too. He said nothing.

Now!

The guard yelled, putting a rough hand on Alice’s shoulder, making an attempt to yank her back from ‘Her Majesty’s Rabbit’.

There was a look of terror that crossed Alfred’s face. It was the sort of look he’d only been seen pretending to do while acting out the white rabbit. But this one? It was real terror. He turned from Alice, looking over his shoulder.

You should be going Alice. We’re awfully late and Her majesty doesn’t like to be kept waiting.

And he rushed off as quickly as he could, through another path in the hedges.

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Alice on instinct tried to tug away from her , blame her if you wish but she hasn’t had good experiences with such. Put that blame on that retched man and her awful school bullies. She did look back , to scream or scold , whichever came out first but yes. Just Tabatha. She’s overwhelmed , emotional , she never was the most stable. The moment her hand was touched she looked away again. Once more , she tugged , wanting to free her other hand so she could wipe his face , she didn’t care how bloody she got.

As Alfred did have to let go of her , she shoved the guard’s hand away. Oh , if only she had more strength , she could start a fight and win it , even in her desperate mindset , she knew not to try. She thought about it hard enough.

Wait , please !

She wanted to run after him , isn’t that what she was supposed to do , follow the White Rabbit ? A yell stopped her before she could even attempt , drawing her back to that open gate to the garden. A Lily-like guard drug a kicking and yelling caterpillar , not the Harold one but the Angus like , towards a place they could not yet see. Genuine fear heightened his usually deep voice , if Alice weren’t so distressed , she’d have giggled a little. Amongst his thrashing , he managed to spot the girls , calling Help me ! as if they would.

The Lily guard smacked him upside the head , a small twinge of a grin on her face.

Why, what a temper you are in !

The duchess waltzed forward.

Onward , dearies ! We’ll miss the show !

Alice had not a choice but to follow her instead , perhaps a bit morbidly curious , and consequentially drag Tabatha with her.

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Tabatha kept her grip on Alice as they moved forward through the gate, but now her hand rested on her back to guide her forward. She couldn’t risk her rushing off in this state. By the looks of how that angus-caterpillar reacted, and how distressed the Mock Turtle had been earlier, how horribly afraid Alfred seemed to be, she could only assume this was a dangerous place. Her expression softened, focusing more on the path in front of them. She took a deep breath.

It’ll be alright.

She tried to sound calm, but didn’t know for sure if it would be. What she did know that this wasn’t real. It couldn’t hurt them outside the story, could it?

Guards piled into the garden began them, so even if they tried to turn and run there wasn’t any escape.

Inside that garden, which seemed to be so perfectly kept (other than a few roses which seemed to be dripping red paint into the flawless grass), was divided into two sections. One side: The croquet field. And what a lovely field it was! Flamingos lined up at its sides, ready to be used for such sport.

The other side, though, sat a raised platform, and the chopping block. Huge battle-axes lined its sides instead. And, the executioner, his face blocked by a painted-sack mask, stood polishing one of them. The block seemed completely clean, and brand new. It had never been used. Whoever was about to meet their fate there would be the first, first of many.

Between them sat an extravagant, unnecessarily complicated, carved wooden throne, painted in bright reds, yellows, and blues. The guards lined up around the guests, leaving them in the middle, facing the symbol of her royal highness.

Alfred stepped up next to the throne, weakly blowing into a trumpet, a sound coming from it that was supposed to be a fanfare, but sounded more like a dying goose. He coughed quietly, before calling out the best he could:

Her Royal Majesty, Queen Alice!

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Alice knit her eyebrows. Queen Alice ? Had she accidentally included the Looking Glass here ? She looked around , expecting the guests and guards to be staring her down , waiting for her to do something , but no ? Just to be sure , she started for the platform , only for Duchess to put a hand on her sternum and shove her back in place.

Missing the theatrics of the usual queen , Heartless walked out to her spot quick , already quite upset. The heartless was what they saw little Alice turn into , her face wrinkled with age and annoyance. Alice was feeling a good amount of uncomfortability which was understandable.

Lily-guard dragged that caterpillar across the platform , him making pathetic pleads to the queen. Those of which fell on deaf ears , as it seemed Heartless was correcting Alfred on his actions for next time. Angus-Caterpillar was drug all the way to the block and shoved to his knees. She held his head down , brandishing a previously unused knife and slicing his hair off to make for an easy strike.

The executioner joined her side as she let him go , him now too defeated to run. Did no one see this was insane ?! Not a soul spoke out of turn of this ?

Off with his head !

The queen yelled. The executioner raised his newly polished axe high and swung down low , striking true on the neck but not through. He had to pry the axe back out , then swing again , then over again. It was a brutal watch , Alice could feel the burn in her throat as if she was going to vomit. Blood sprayed , pooling around the block , and the head rolled off into the croquet field.

Barely blinking , the three of them were stood near where he stopped rolling , flamingos as croquet mallets were shoved into their hands.

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Tabatha was… well. She was certainly extremely confused. The entire situation went so quickly for her. First the older Alice, then the incredibly messy beheading. The beheading felt the longest part of the matter, with the executioner striking over, and over, and over again. That seemed awfully brutal for a children’s book, didn’t it?

She too, felt quite a bit nauseated by the sight. She’d seen a lot of stomach churning things while surviving on the streets. But this was far, far worse. Stupidly, she went to try and hold Alice’s hand again but—

Then! Almost immediately they were prompted to play croquet with the head! She held the flamingo, and realized: She did not entirely know how to play croquet. She had been too preoccupied with the… bloody events before to realize. Okay, time to improvise. She certainly didn’t want anyone getting the same treatment as the head-ball presented to them on the ground.

Alfred padded along behind The Heartless, coughs still racking his body. But, he was meant to be there. It felt for him like he’d been stuck on the verge of death for years and years. Coughing and blood pouring and so on. He did not take a mallet, instead he stood off to the side and watched them. He had to behave, the heartless commanded it and what other choice did he have? She would keep him there forever until he caved.

The Queen gets the first turn!

Called that same annoying guard that had shoved Alfred and grabbed Alice earlier.

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This was quite grotesque for a children’s story , it wasn’t this way before. That was evident on every face of the attendees , usually mostly delighted guests of the queen now turned uneasy and fearful. Not one would speak against it , it seemed they would genuinely fear for being next.

A hand that could’ve been held was now itself holding the feet of a flamingo , much the wrong type , ash coated as if it had just flown in from Alice’s once beloved zoo. She almost preferred the gas masked versions of her last encounter.

Alice shuffled , nearly stumbled , back as The Heartless made her royal way to a cockroach’s still blinking head. She could not lift her eyes to meet the woman’s but she wasn’t for the risk. The queen lined herself , practiced wobble and struggle as if it was her first time playing again. The flamingo struggled along , as it was supposed to , until she properly hit the head-ball. More blood flung as it sailed through arches made up of soldiers and guards.

The crimson happened to land on the bedsheet-like skirt of our Duchess. Despite all these happenings , she stayed in her attitude , groaning and complaining about the possibility of a stain.

Guards ! Off with her head ! The queen wasted none of her time , even if she knew how the Duchess was , she’d decided now was not her time. Looking up from her ruined garment , the poor Duchess did realize that guards were drawing near , she ran best she could. Which proved not to be all that good , as the guards caught her quite quickly and dragged her screaming towards a new holding cell somewhere in the castle grounds. One in an unmistakable string of pearls turned her head away , attempting to close out the sound with low conversation at the wide eyes next to her.

The queen huffed , then motioned to Alice. Her turn.

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