I should be pressing X rapidly. Failure just leads to him shutting his fanged jaws closed and throwing his head back, swallowing me as easily as a pill.
Some nice things that have been said to me about him:
- "You are a noted addition to his grog, you shall be gone in a gulp"
- "if you ever feel unworthy, just brace yourself. You might end up on a satin pillow and bellyflopped".
Thaddeus © EricStripe
ilbv © ilbv
Here is a bit more info about Thaddeus (who I helped name) written by his creator EricStripe.
"...There's not much, just that he is a giant god that eats people. He also has protection magics that make him invulnerable and strengthen those that fight for him, annnnnnd those that he sits or bellyflops on. Also. THaddeus refers to himself in the third person. Basically a huge human with Dragon God powers. Dragon Maw, Blunt snout, Human Belly.
His original name was Paladin Amadeus. He was a powerful and loyal Paladin, acting as a shield and protector to fellow clerics and other heroes. He and his group later encountered a powerful dragon known as Thilbon the Terror. They successfully defeated Thilbon, but not before Thilbon's essence condensed into a crystal, one that Amadeus tried to pick up. It embedded itself into his hand, its magical properties knocking him out, and he was immediately taken to a priest for cleansing. However he awoke that night, having sprouted scales and fangs, and began eating everything and everyone, referring to himself as Thaddeus, as well as in the third person, as the dragon did. He ate stockpiles of food, he ate livestock, he ate people, he ate an entire hold, buildings and all, and with each meal he grew. It was only after being confronted by the cleric he often went on missions with that he calmed down, sporting a goofy proud and almost adorable personality. The cleric saw that his friend was long gone, Thaddeus didn't even recognize him, he just knew he was fond of the cleric, but couldn't say why. Sadly, he convinced Thaddeus to go, giving a confused Thaddeus a hug on the side of his helmet, and Thaddeus, shrugging to himself, stomped away, taking the one noble soul of a kindhearted paladin with him.
He now resides in a bandit structure... well... no. He sat on the bandit structure and ordered the people that had been subjugated to build him a fortress in his honor, and they did. After swallowing the previous king and queen and entire royal line, he now resides over the kingdom, feasting on livestock and people, blessing those that are loyal to him with divine protection runes, as proud and ravenous as Thilbon, yet as kind and loving and goofy as Amadeus...
A poem, also written by EricStripe.
Once upon a time in a land vast and far,
There lived a dragon of ill repute.
He held an kingdom in his hands, in a jar,
And he did so by being astute
This dragon did not pillage or kill or maim,
He did not hoard or destroy,
But the secrets of others if selfishly claimed
Their squirms were a particular joy.
With the nosiest of noses and the eyes of an eagle,
He gazed into the homes and castles men
And while his tone and words were quite regal,
His blackmailing would always offend.
With their secrets in his grasp and their nuts in a vice,
The mortals dis truly despair
To keep the dragon as silent as mice,
They gave him a home, it was only fair.
But the humans were not content to live in fear,
Their whispers in the serpent's vile grip
So they called on Thaddeus, with the promise of beer,
Enough ale for a lake of skinny-dip.
And so the great Thaddeus marched to the throne
Oof the dragon of secrets and lies,
Of all the knowledge the dragon had come to own,
He had none of Thaddeus, no matter how hard he tried.
The giant bent low, his breath stinking of ale,
And the dragons entire snout he inhaled,
He roared he screamed and he kicked and he wailed,
And Thaddeus slurped him down to his tail,
And with a gulp sealed him away, his belly the jail.
The dragon churned down, the secrets no longer availed,
And Thaddeus belched, thus ending this tale.
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