these are lifted from the cbs show with the same name, triggering content may be possible, please read and reblog with caution. adjust any as needed!
i don’t believe in all that.. devils and possession.
science is only good for repeatable phenomenon.
i don’t need to check every broomstick to know that broomsticks don’t fly.
i’m here to tell the truth.
my guess is that they’d only stop hiring me if i stopped telling truth.
i’m glad we’re talking again.
let me be clear. i don’t believe in any of this.
wait, wait, wait. i still need to, uh, ask you something.
and you want her to have one?
unfortunately, what this woman is asking for is impossible.
an unborn child cannot be possessed.
but isn’t a child a cognizant creation even in the womb?
no demon can possess a person until that person gives an invitation.
wait, so you can’t perform an exorcism because the fetus can’t choose, right?
so what if it’s an infestation?
you can exorcise the womb even if the fetus isn’t possessed.
just thought i’d drop by to say no hard feelings.
i hope that we can still be friends and work out all the …
i’m only here to make amends.
you go sow it somewhere else.
i came here to make peace.
i’m sorry but you don’t get to determine who i date.
oh my god. he’s a psychopath.
i’m not feeding anybody anything.
i’m just talking with my lover.
she has this way of getting to me.
when you say impotent, do you mean sexually?
why do people make fun of marching bands?
i should have just ripped out her heart.
it’s not part of the plan or has that changed?
do you want the plan to change?
then find someone else to take her heart out.
now tell me about your dreams.
hey, here we are. just the two of us coming full circle.
your testimony went poorly today, didn’t it?
the sad thing is, you had so many chances to not get involved.
how many times did i tell you to go home to your daughters?
every step of the way, you did the opposite.
and yet, here you still are.
i’m gonna kill every last one, then your husband, then burn down your house.
i’m not gonna touch you though, no, because i want you to live.
i want you to live with the realization that you’re responsible for their deaths.
you let them die through your obstinacy, your need to win.
you said you felt this thing, this evil oppressing you.
i did not. i did not i swear.
no, no, i’m just, uh, i don’t know, um, exploring.
i just, i mean i find it weird that you’re criticizing the catholic stuff in my job while …
you know why i really think you called?
so you’re a buddhist now?
you said we should stay apart, but you’re the one who called me.
what is the other option here?
you thought i was teasing you with my sister’s handwriting?
how does that even make sense?
the forbidden is always desirable.
it’s from an internet video called pudsy’s christmas.
it’s just a meme. it’ll be gone in a week.
emotions are contagious, so many believe it to be an extreme emotional contagion.
it usually just dies out on its own after a few months.
half the things you talk about just sound made up.
oh, baby. can i give you some grandmotherly advice?
you take a brick, and you hit her in the face.
this is where it hurts the most: right here.
you take something heavy, and you smack her right there.
people will never know you had a rock in there at all.
oh, sure you can sweetheart.
i thought i couldn’t either, but you know what i found out?
you either make ‘em your bitch, or they make you theirs.
do you have a jacket with that?
can someone get it for you?
a jacket will make me look like a doctor?
it wasn’t your thing to be a church lawyer either.
always has to have the last word, even from the grave.
that’s why i wanted to know how much we disagree.
whatever we say right now, i will be asked about.
come on. what do you want me to do with this?
all beliefs look weird from the outside.
you believe in quantum entanglement.
i birthed you and i knew exactly what you’d say.
to me, that’s a symbol of resilience, of grace beyond all measure.
but what’s true is we’re both gonna carry it.
you carry your weight the way you need to carry it.
guess all we need is car trouble, and we’ll have won horror movie bingo.
tell me, are you convincing my son not to become a priest?
all i know is when i’m painting, it’s crap.
you’re talking like a priest.
duality doesn’t exist. there’s just what is.
sometimes, the dominated spouse will even take the blame for the crimes.
why does psychology always sound like a con to me?
it’s like religion for grad students.
what are you doing? fleabagging?
if that’s the best way for us to communicate, then yes.
there are two sides to this; it’s not enough to just use logic.
you’re gonna have to keep me from killing him.
you hold the power to make your life what you want.
you need to get back at her.
i love our debates over these issues, but not when it comes to murder.
do you not find this odd – a prophet requiring the blowing up of a balloon?
i found it odd that there was a prophet at all.
everything after that was just gravy.
she is in danger of being harmed by supernatural forces.
what if it’s not delusions?
all i’m asking is what if her possession is not delusion.
i mean sure, let’s just get his professional opinion and ignore it.
you’re calling me here and asking me to believe, but i deal in facts, psychiatry.
i look at her and see a very sick woman who needs a doctor’s care and may die without it.
i just don’t like when you can’t tell what is real and what is fake.
you don’t really believe in this crap?
i’ve seen some stuff you can’t exactly explain.
what about the locks on the cupboards and the fridge?
do you think i have a demon in me?
if i do have a demon in me, is there anything you can do?
what did shakespeare say? ‘to do a great right, do a little wrong.’
does this bother you? talking about it?
if you want us out of here, just admit that it’s anger management.
that’s one of the reasons we need good people.
it’s just, there are so many things wrong with the church.
god draws in straight lines. the devil draws in puzzles and anagrams.
that’s a real thing: people pledging their souls?
i think a lot of what we consider metaphor is real.
i’m not religious; i don’t believe in all that stuff.
bad dream? try counting sheep.
you can call it just weird, but something happened.
you plague my mind, you’re not even original.
why don’t you make up your own prayers?
what was that? whatever happened to nonviolence?
i thought this was about possession.
the theory is that an infestation leads to a possession.
the demon takes over the house, and then it takes over the person, supposedly.
why did you give my therapy notes to a serial killer?
why don’t you leave this to the professionals?
there are people out there who do bad things.
that’s a bit simplistic isn’t it? killing them because i like space.
i think spaces look better without people in them, don’t you think?
i like houses when they’re empty. i like the quiet; i like the space.
the world is getting worse because evil is no longer isolated.
bad people are talking to each other; they’re connected.
i didn’t know that was a job.
why do you keep repeating that same old crap over and over again?
they happen to some people and not to others.
i just don’t understand how god couldn’t choose winners and losers.
i’m not sure god uses an alcoholic for his miracles.
you can call it a miracle, you can call it just weird.
i don’t know; i don’t like that word, but something happened.
that girl was dead for three hours. i saw her dead.
do you think it was a miracle?
how many times do i have to tell them?
it’s real in that if a human wants power, they can trade away their future for that power.
i’m surrounded by millennial nonentities.
i’m a perfectionist. i’m a demanding person.
what i want is for you to get this over with so i can roll my calls.
say some prayers, sprinkle some holy water.
it means shutting up and doing good work.
somebody who enjoys your shows but thinks you’re being a bit of a dick.
who the hell are you, lady?
i don’t use sex, and i’m much more talented.
your mother’s just worried you’re going to turn into psychopaths.
don’t freak out when you see a strange man in your bathroom.
your mom asked me to look at the pipes, and your grandma let me in.
fake it until you make it.
i hate that because it encourages superstition and conspiracy theories.
it is so easy to manipulate them and create whatever we want.
this is a sick woman who is in danger of harming herself.
let me guess: they’re boxers, and they’re cupid hearts.
wait, what color are your underwear?
i’m practically naked here.
it’s halloween night and our investigation takes us to jersey.
i think we’re in a bad spot.
people generally don’t believe women.
if i do anything to her, she’ll tell the police.
it’s not enough to just use logic.
so [name:optional] is a psychopath.
there is a psychological condition called coercive control.
how do you know it’s not some bad spirit painting through you?
there’s no good or bad in art.
the more years you put on you, you’ll see.
when somebody else paints through me, that’s when it all comes together.
someone paints through me; my hand is divinely guided.
that’s how i feel about painting.
look, i know we hit that fork in the road –
welcome to the gully. i want to paint a t-shirt for you, something red.
i want my seed spread far and wide.
hey, i’m in my sixities, what else am i gonna do?
is he talking about his seed again?
ah, god, it’s great here.
that’s just not what i see when i look at that.
there’s pain in my paintings.
i reached out and reclaimed that brand for myself.
it’s evil. it’s not, it’s not you that’s evil.
don’t you threaten me, you little freak.
don’t you dare call me ‘bitch.’
i know where all your skeletons are buried.
your hands are a lot dirtier than mine.
you have no power over god.
so it looks like you’re in trouble. we should get started.
i’m not leaving here until you touch me.
this is what i look like when i’m bored.
possession looks a lot like insanity.
i need someone to help me distinguish between the two.
you don’t care that i don’t believe?
we want to hire you to help us.
two against one. well this is unfair.
i was wondering if we could talk for a minute.
i don’t need an algorithm to know you.
do you know why this moment is special?
do you think there could be… just murder?
you said violence is justified if it confronts evil and stops a graver wrong.
what, tempt you? seriously, is that how the devil works? he needs to be tempted to do wrong.
now, what we’re we talking about here? shoplifting?
eat your cold pizza and i’ll be back.
i don’t know why people are unnerved by it.
does this stuff ever wear you down?
wait, wait, wait, wait, this is wrong.
tell me, can a night terror do this?
it means that once something is stupid, it doesn’t matter how much more stupid gets piled on top of it.
